Eri | she/he | 22 | š snz kink/whump blog, content focuses around g/enshin, h/azbin and occasionally t/ears of t/hemis, t/g/c/f and m/h/a. I haven't written in like a year bc college but maybe one day lol
I'm not built for life . I'm so fucked . I can't handle basic adult shit because I break down at the slightest bit of stress. what the fuck is the point of being alive if I can't even be a functional human being. I have no friends, never leave my house, can barely fucking feed myself every day and shower and do the basic necessities to stay alive. everyone always says that everyone feels that way but guess what? they can actually do those things!!! I'm fucking worthless!!!! can't start anything can't finish anything can't even pretend to be happy anymore
hey y'all happy Juneteenth, if you'd like to support a Black queer person in need this month I'm collecting funds for a friend off of tumblr who is fighting homelessness right now. Without getting too much into the explicit details, she's escaped a toxic situation, moved, and lost her new job all in the past few months and now she's trying to raise money for rent just so she can keep a roof over her head for another month. I've done the math and figured that if a number of people give just $20, she'll be able to cover her rent (but whatever you can give is much appreciated!)
Lohen had been standing out in the middle of Knight's of Favonius Nod Krai camp listening to one of the other knights drone on for merely five excruciating minutes, and he was already contemplating actual murder.
He wouldn't go through with it of course. He could patiently wait until he was face to face with monsters from the Abyss who actually deserved it.
He would continue to merrily contemplate it though.
These kinds of meetings were arguably the worst part of being a knight. Normally, he'd skip out or sneak off once he got bored, but unfortunately, Varka had caught him the last time he'd pulled that stunt, and had politely implied (aka, threatened) he would send him off back to Mondstadt if he snuck out of another meeting.
So, for the time being, he was stuck here.
Bored.
Mentally going over various ways to hide a body.
Sniffling- sniffling?
Why was he- oh.
As soon as he became aware of it, Lohen suddenly couldn't put the itch in his nose out of his mind. After checking to see if anyone was watching him, he subtly rubbed at his nose.
Wellā¦ it didn't make things worse.
But it didn't make the itch go away either.
Lohen's eye twitched briefly as he resisted the urge to shake his head to get rid of the sensation. He shifted his weight ever so slightly, taking his knife out and slowly running his finger along the side of it in an attempt to distract himself. Anyone who might glance at him would think he was just cleaning a spot off of it orā¦ something, he didn't care what they thought really so long asā¦
A light breeze blew through the camp.
The itch in his nose flared, and he barely choked back a surprised inhale, nearly dropping his knife.
He hurriedly put it back in his pocket. He really did not need anyone getting on his case about him accidentally injuring himself right now.
He rubbed at his nose again. Again, it didn't help, but didn't make it worse either. He wasn't sure if he was grateful for that or not.
Ughā¦ and without his knife to focus on nowā¦
He took a slow breath in, ignoring the slight shakyness of it, held it for a second, then slowly let it out.
He could ignore it.
ā¦Fuck, it was starting to burn now-
"Hh-hHh-!" Lohen put a hand over his mouth and nose, quickly glancing around to see if anyone was looking at him.
Thankfully, it seemed like everyone else was somehow enraptured by the knight currently leading the meeting. How, Lohen had no idea. The guy was boring as shit.
Still though, it gave him the chance to slowly move from his usual position, until he had managed to sneak his way to the back of the group. He wasn't willing to risk completely leaving, he was sure at the very least Varka had likely noticed him moving towards the back, but so long as he remained at there, everyone's view of him should be obscured enough for him to-
Lohen practically doubled over from the force of the first sneeze that he stifled into silence. Holy shit, that had been more powerful than he had been expecti-
"HihN'Gtt-sh!!"
Fuck, that one had hurt- it felt like all the force behind it had nowhere to go, like it had absolutely slammed into a brick wall. (It didn't seem like he could really keep them quiet for long, which he hadn't expected to be able to anyways. But, at the very least, it seemed like it was quiet enough for not even the knights standing right in front of him to bother turning around.)
The same sensation repeated for the third stifled sneeze. And the fourth. And the fifth. And the-
Archons damn it, what was wrong with him? He didn't usually sneeze this much. The last time he could remember was-
Wait. Didn't one of the other knights say they'd planted some dandelion seeds around the camp a few weeks ago? Something about a reminder of home? Surely those would be full grown by now, soā¦
Well, Lohen hadn't thought much about it at the time- he'd gone through desensitization therapy after all, it shouldn't affect him anymore.
Based on how he felt right now thoughā¦
"HhNG'SHht! heh-h-heHSH'Ngt-!!"
It had to be his dandelion allergy. Nothing else had ever gotten him as intensely as dandelions had, and he should know, he had tested it. Multiple times in fact. He'd even technically done it accidentally on a stealth mission once, which had been both equally thrilling and frustrating. Was it possible for an allergy to come back? He'd have to send a letter to Sucrose and ask. Hopefully without revealing exactly why he was asking, though she'd probably figure it out anyways.
For now though, he had to bring himself under control. He couldn't afford to have everyone's attention on him at the moment.
"Hih-h-hh-hHNn'TSh! hiH'NG'Ttā!!"
Ow.
ā¦.That felt good.
And it wasn't- it wasn't like anyone else was paying him any attention right now, immediately. Somehow, he was getting away with this. Again, his stifles weren't exactly silent, but as long as he kept doing it, he could continue to go unnoticedā¦ And it would continue toā¦
His nose briefly gave him a sort of reprieve, if one could call a lost sneeze such, though the burning itch remained, his nose twitching and red with irritation. Lohen took the opportunity to quickly wipe the allergic tears off of his face, and glance around just to make sure that nobody had noticed anything-
Mika was staring at him.
Fuck.
As soon as they made eye contact, Mika turned and tugged on Grandmaster Varka's sleeve, pointing in Lohen's direction.
Double fuck.
Okay, this was fine. All he had to do was hold back, and Varka would just think Mika was just seeing- seeing t-things-
"Heh-hhH-h-hngh-" He nearly bit his tongue trying to grind his teeth together in an attempt to prevent his breath from continuing to hitch. It didn't work. "Hih-hh-heH-"
And, evidentally, even if he hadn't actually sneezed, his likely visible struggle with it was enough for Varka to start making his way towards him.
Damnnit.
~
Lohen sat cross legged on top of one of the cots in the healing tent, doing his best to look unimpressed.
He failed the instant his gaze turned hazy again, his breath hitching widly before he snapped forwards with another stifled-
"HhHNG'Ttshh!!"
"You're going to explode your brain doing that." Varka said, re-entering the tent, clearly having finished his talk with the healer outside. "Sounds like it hurts too."
"Snf, nngh, it d-hh-hH-! ā¦.it does." Lohen did not elaborate. It didn't seem like Varka had really expected him to.
"Well, the good news is, you're not sick." Varka pulled over a chair, sitting down beside the cot. Lohen rolled his eyes, he could've told them that, if any of them had listened during the quite frankly humiliating period of time wherein Varka had forcibly lifted him up and carried him to the healer's tent. Not that he minded a lil bit of humiliation of course, but still. This would probably be lorded over his head by some of the other knights for days.
Wait. What could the bad news be-
"However, you're not allowed to patrol until you get some allergy medicine into your system."
Lohen experienced a moment of actual shock before he quickly fixed his expression to give Varka the most offended look possible.
"But-"
"No buts."
"I don't want the allergy medicine."
"Oh? And why's that?"
"ā¦." He couldn't just say it was because he was, well, enjoying this. That wasn't really a conversation he wanted to have with Varka of all people. Plus, based on past experience, the Grandmaster probably wouldn't accept it as an excuse anyways, which only left Lohen with the answer of; "It makes me drowsy, I can't f-focus when I'm o-on i-ihH-hhH-hESH'NGttā!!"
"And how exactly do you plan to focus when your nose is twitching like a bunny?" Varka asked, and Lohen would've responded with a scathing insult, but-
Well, he was a little preoccupied.
"Hh-hIH'HNG'Ttshh!! Heh-h-hH-hihH-hH'N'Gtt-sh!!" The hand he wasn't using to pinch his nose shut subconsciously reached out and gripped onto the edge of the cot. Fuck, he was starting to get dizzyā¦ "Hh-hHNn'TtSHh!! hNnG'Ttsh!! Hh-hhiH- hHnNT'GShh!! Hh-hhiih-"
Varka reached out and pulled Lohen's hand away from his face. At this point, Lohen couldn't really form any sort of protest to the action.
"Hh-hhih-hEH'NXxSHhttā" He managed to hands free stifle the next one, but- "HhEH'SHhhu!! Hh'ESHhu!! Hh-hihh-h-hh-hEH'CHhuu!! ngh.. guhā¦."
After a moment of no further hitching, Varka let go of Lohen's hand. Lohen bent over slightly, holding his head in his hands, taking a deep breath in and letting a slow breath out, trying to get the world to stop spinning. It was in some weird way pleasurable, but he really didn't want Varka to have more reason to bench him for longer.
When he finally felt put together enough to look back up, Varka was holding out a pill and a cup of water to him. Lohen glared at him, but Varka didn't seem like he was going to budge on this.
ā¦Sighing, Lohen took the pill and, just to be contrarian, swallowed it dry.
alt text for easier reading but again, sorry for making a post like this and I'll go back to normal posting soon just wanted to reach out in hopes something changes
Or, if you are more of a fic/art person, I will give you a 1000 word fic OR a single character scene pack if you give them $20 dollars or more! Just DM me the proof!
L/ohen outdoors on a stealth mission but the wind direction is just right and blowing all the nearby dandelion pollen right in his face and he has to desperately try not to blow their cover
oh my god no wait. this is so fucking good. well sneezing while hiding is always good but yknow
y'all how do we think L/ohen stifles... does he pinch stifle or hands free or what... do we think he can keep them quiet...
for some reason this ask brings to mind the image of L/ohen kind of successfully holding back but then the wind blows a leaf right into his face and he's sensitive enough that the sensation of it sets him off ahldksjflsdkfs
Have you considered um- L/ohen trying out all the new flowers in N/od K/rai to see if any of them make him sneeze?
As a little side quest when he's not fighting things
I HAVE VERY MUCH CONSIDERED IT.
i have also considered him fighting that uh. madragora local legend thingymajigy because it like. im pretty sure it spurts out a shit ton of pollen at some point and the idea of L/ohen holding back while fighting and then sneezing himself dizzy once the battle's over is... very good to me
but yes the idea of him sneaking off and testing plants is so good... for some reason though i feel like most of them don't really compare to what his dandelion allergy was like so he always finds himself just a lil bit disappointed
- He gets very obvious pre-sneeze tells: eyes going unfocused mid-sentence, breath hitching, nose twitching, ā¦
- Irritation because he knows exactly whatās happening but canāt stop it
- āSneezing ātill Iām dizzyā: rapid-fire, watery eyes, flushed face, maybe needing to sit down afterward, completely wrung out but weirdly satisfied by it
- He probably misses the physical catharsis. The sensation of building pressure and release scratches something in his brain. Which means he absolutely still tests himself around dandelions sometimes.
- During bad pollen seasons he becomes deeply irritable because: he hates losing control publicly but he also kind of enjoys it which is psychologically unbearable to him.
- Despite ādesensitization therapyā working, there are probably still rare moments where concentrated dandelion pollen absolutely destroys him, especially if heās tired.
- He hates how red his nose gets afterward.
- But he misses it enough that, on particularly quiet evenings, heāll still pick up a dandelion and absentmindedly twirl it between his fingers just to remember the feeling.
i can't even add anything to this it's just perfect. i approve.
Ignoring the fact that this ādesensitization therapyā shouldnāt have worked this wouldāve been going on for weeks right. If not months. Lohen just turning his own house into his personal allergen chamber for months. Hed probably have to replace the dandelions (leading to the scenarios of getting banned from Flora and having to smuggle in dandelions himself). Was he also just. Extra sensitive for a period of time when outside in the dandelion infused air bc he was already reacting from his house. Where was his line between masochistic pleasure and pure misery and how much did he use the line as a jump rope
i think the answer is that there was next to no line ahlkdjflksjflksjfs
but also holy shit the idea of him like. being extra sensitive for a while. god that's really getting to me. like even things that didn't normally affect him at all really setting him off during this process??? thats such a good concept-
coming back to this ask from april after reading that voiceline... boy do i
so dandelions right. we've all read the voiceline now man what the fuck. thinking about the concept of testing how well the 'desensitization' worked and inducing him with dandelions...
on a similar note, he was in N/od Krai for quite a while, and there isn't any dandelions there, so... the allergy could come back.....
i like to think he has a very like... stuttery build up??? like more so than normal. like he does a lot of rapid hitches. does this make sense? this contributes to the sneezing himself dizzy thing cause its sort of like hyperventilating lmao
probably stifles partially to be 'polite' when around other people and partially because it does kind of hurt for him and he likes that
i dont have any spellings really but i think his normal snz is fairly forceful but when he's deep in a fit he starts doing these lil kittenish rapid ones and that's how you can tell when something is like really getting to him
i have a sort of fun lil idea where he keeps trying to make V/enti snz without stifling because somehow he heard about "gale force winds" and is determined to experience that
he is all for the idea of inducing other people he'd be so mean about it
he is also all for the idea of someone inducing him. he's going to put up a fight about it though because that makes it more fun
i think it'd be really funny if he knows about the sadomasochism but isn't aware that he has a snz kink. he just thinks its the sadomasochism. no bro you've got a whole other kink right there.
