Today's Document
tannertan36
Sade Olutola
YOU ARE THE REASON
Not today Justin
dirt enthusiast
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Peter Solarz
No title available
JVL
Andulka
No title available
ojovivo
Xuebing Du
pixel skylines
hello vonnie
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
we're not kids anymore.
Origami Around
Keni
seen from Ukraine
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from Canada
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seen from United States
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@sodapop000
Anon asks are off because I get so much spam that I've stopped reading the messages. Sorry!
I ignore any new DMs that just say "Hi" or another one-word greeting, also due to all the spam I get. If you are a real person who wants to message me, I'd be delighted! When you message, please introduce yourself and/or say why you messaged.
There's this thing I never realized I did when I was doing it that I like to think of as "Ownership of Space"
And it's that thing where you mentally place yourself as the second, auxiliary party to someone else that you consider to be "In Charge" of whatever space or occupation or responsibility you are assigned to
And when you are IN that mindset, it *feels* like you're being responsible. It *feels* like you're being respectful, and helpful, and contributing to the load.
But what you don't SEE- because it *feels* like deference- is that the other person who you're seeing as The Authority you report to- by being assigned that role, has also been assigned the invisible load of BEING YOUR MANAGER.
This is by FAR most commonly seen in husband-and-wife relationships, where the man says, "just tell me what I can do to HELP- you don't have to do it all by yourself, but it's like you won't even tell me when you NEED help. You just do everything and then get mad at me for not doing it first. I can help clean. I can help with the kids. I can help"
But I also see it- and am guilty myself of doing it- at work, at school, in public- that mental, "this is THEIR space, and i will be respectful and helpful to THEM"- without realizing that subservience in this manner isn't actually a good thing. That it actually shifts the burden of responsibility to the other person. That aspect was totally invisible to me.
I didn't understand that when I was told, "if you see something that needs to be done, just DO it", or, "take the initiative", what they ACTUALLY meant was, "I am not above you", or "you have equal say in what kind of environment you want to live or work in", or "I do not want full control over what happens here, I do not want to order you around, I do not want to be in charge, what I WANT is to co-command WITH you"
Being in The Assigned Authority position NOW, that is all so much clearer.
I am the senior member of my team at work, and now, every time I train a newbie, every time I finish catching them up to speed and giving them a list of everything that needs to be done, my next big hurdle seems to always be, "now take pride in the space when I'm not around". "Now don't assume I'll tell you when something is due or what orders to plan things in".
Now, having been on both sides of the struggle, I can appreciate the sticking points here
TO THE PERSON "IN CHARGE": The person deferring to you doesn't understand the invisible labor you're doing. They genuinely believe you know more, you WANT more, you see things they don't, and that they are being respectful and good by staying out of your way and waiting on your orders. THAT is the bit that's not clicking.
TO THE PERSON "WANTING TO HELP": "Help" implies that you are providing assistance to a problem that belongs to somebody else. Stop thinking like that. Understand that the problem belongs to BOTH of you equally, and consider what kind of shared space you BOTH want. What is your SHARED GOAL? Not THEIR goal, but a goal that belongs to you too. Own your space.
This is not a Commander-Lieutenant problem. This is a Partnership problem.
You Are Co-Commanders On This Ship
Sharing my own tags actually
The thing about being in co-command that I don't think comes naturally to people regardless of the role they're currently occupying is that co-command is a collaboration and collaboration requires communication. Maintaining a Space (house, workplace, area of responsibility, whatever) is a system, and having multiple operators setting up processes and not communicating about them is a recipe for frustration and conflict. So communication about the meta process of how processes are established or modified needs to happen. It doesn't need to be formal, it doesn't need to be drawn out it rigid, but everyone should know the answer to "how do I change the way we do things?"
There are also multiple strategies for how to co-command, and sometimes you use the strategy of "carve off a piece of the space to command individually" and that's okay, as long as you communicate that's what's happening and the labor of commanding individual spaces is distributed in an agreeable way.
Another thing that's challenging for some people with this is distributing command isn't just distributing responsibility, it's also distributing power. Things may not happen exactly how you want them to! Things may not get to the exact result you want them to! You now need to negotiate what you want your space to be with the other people who have command of it, and that's a skill and involves compromise.
(It's worth it tho).
That last point is very relevant for parent/child dynamics. If they have a responsibility to maintain the space but no say in what "maintain" means, they are not in co-command, that is in fact your lieutenant, and you took on the responsibility of managing them when you decided they didn't get any power over the space.
Maty Fall for Sezane SS 2026 Collection
I had a dream the other week about these people fighting back against an assault from another world. Most of them weren’t experienced fighters, but average people who banded together (although Gimli was there because dreams).
This particular woman’s job was to throw a javelin through a dimensional portal, tethering the two worlds together and allowing the defenders to control where the fight happened. They later built a statue of her. In her day-to-day life, I think she owned a fabric shop.
Prints available through Inprnt!
[Image Description: A digital illustration of a woman preparing to throw a javelin through a portal. She is a fat, dark-skinned South Asian woman with long dark hair in a braid. She wears a navy blue crop top and dark reddish dhoti. We see her from behind, her left arm extended towards the portal while her right arm is reared back, holding a glowing white javelin which trails a tether on the ground behind her. The sky is mostly overcast with dark blue-grey clouds, but an intense sunset orange breaks through closer to the horizon. Through the glowing portal, the blue curve of another planet is visible. /end ID]
Villaggio Matteotti, Terni, Giancarlo De Carlo, 1969 - 74
09/04/2026 • every time @softinvasions writes a villanelle about how sonnets suck i write another suckful sonnet*. metrical malpractice!
*sonnets do not even have to have 14 lines if you are pure of heart and sonnetpilled enough
Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.
Military recruiter who pretends to be a tarot card reader so he can tell every person who gets their future read by him and they'll be joining the military in the future.
(military recruiter tarot card reader in august of 2001) *draws The Tower* *draws a second The Tower* now that's not supposed to happen
I was cleaning out my google drive and found a folder called H-Dubs which turned out to be that time me and my cousin decided to get in on the "whole song lyrics as ao3 titles" meme, except we used HW Bush's comments on Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990, but we were going to have to request the audio from the presidential library and never got around to it. So here, in only its partial glory:
what really makes this for me is how much sloppier we got as we went along until we just gave up and cheated. just like the bush family.
Hello! Im currently making pixel sprites for some Black characters and i wanted to ask if anyone knew how to aproach Black hair, mainly hairstyles like braids, twists, and cornrows in small pixel artworks, around 64x64 canvases or a bit bigger
@9nabaca is a Black artist that does pixel art!
so i'm no professional, but here's how i render Black hairstyles, i use a pixel brush 2+ pixel size to render like braids, curls and whatnot
there's more details, as you can see on Filomena's sprite, such as her baby curls, i hope this helps you visualize
[ID: A tweet by TylerAlterman:
"In the middle of a "forcing party" where friends and I are forcing one another to do the things that we've been avoiding.
So far: [bullet list] A passport has been filed for; An inbox has been zero'd; A personal website has been created; & more.
I recommend this format!"]
call that attending an Executive Function
Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught
*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish
friend is trying to convince me this is a common experience and I do not believe her, so
Do you expect to be paid back if you pay for something for your friend while you’re hanging out? (I.E. a ride, a meal, a trinket.)
Yes, always
Yes, but only if it’s above a limit of money
No, never
I don’t buy things for my friends.
bald button
For a more illustrative example, say you go to the movies with a friend and you buy them popcorn, do you expect them at some point to send you money back via cash or through an app of some kind? Will you be upset if they don’t?
I recently saw an actual news article censor the words "sexual" and "molest." Fucking shit hell fuck shit fuck.
ooooh, storytime!
for a while, my husband worked as a call handler for the ambulance service. during his training, they had a talk from someone wanting to introduce new policy and he wanted to use my husband's group as a tester group. fun, right?
well, the talk was about how saying suicide was triggering. if a caller says theyre suicidal, the handlers should say "unalive" instead, because saying the word might actually trigger the suicidal person.
if the caller says they were raped and need help, the handler should say "S A" instead, because rape is triggering.
I don't know about you, but if I phoned up the ambulance service to ask for help because I want to die, I wouldn't want them using tiktok speak and trivialising the issue. I think that would make me less likely to ever ask for help. SAY THE WORDS. how are we supposed to address the problem if we can't even name the fucking problem.
luckily, my husbands main instructor literally said "well, that's fucking stupid" to the man wanting to introduce this policy and it hasn't been implemented. but it might. we are watching language be erased. NAME. THE. PROBLEM.
I wish I were making this up, I wish I could say I was exaggerating. I'm not.
So fun fact, people who are trained in helping to deescalate suicidal people will always say to put it bluntly.
“Do you want to kill yourself?”
A, it has the benefit of making sure everyone is on the same page. Self-harm and attempting suicide are two different things. You can want to harm yourself without wanting to kill yourself. It can also let you know if the person is passively suicidal or if they’re in the process of killing themselves.
B, stigmatizing suicide leads to more suicides.
C, you will not cause someone to kill themselves by saying the word suicide. It is not a magic word that speaking the name of will cause someone to jump off a roof.
Also, speaking to causation on this trend (separate from issues of censorship), lay people need to learn what "triggering" actually means.
Because way too many people do not understand the difference between "This word is an activating reminder for something traumatic in my brain and it has a rapid and deeply negative impact on my mental health which may result in dissociation, flashbacks, spiraling, panic attacks, or similarly serious reactions" and "ewww that word makes me UNCOMFYYYYY."
Time to talk about self-harm and abuse again!
When I was working on breaking my self-harm habit, one of the most COMFORTING things was discussing it frankly and openly with a professional. Saying out loud, “I’m doing X to myself” and seeing her just nod like it was no big deal and proceed business as usual with her questions was AMAZING for making myself less shameful im talking about it. The idea that I wasn’t revolting, that my problem was not uncommon, that it was actually a pretty normal response to stress and trauma, made it easier to talk about it and eventually stop doing it.
On the other hand, the WORST therapy session I ever had was with a young man who I presume to have been relatively new and inexperienced in the field because, after confessing I was experiencing symptoms of PTSD related to childhood abuse, instead of asking outright, “were you physically abused?” or “what were typical punishments in your house?”, THIS GUY sort of fumbled over his words to ask, “Were you ever…”, before flicking his hand in a “striking someone with a belt” gesture in my general direction.
And because HE wasn’t comfortable using frank and open language, *I* got to deal with being triggered by that! Because GUESS WHAT: SOMEONE PRETENDING THEY’RE HITTING YOU CAN BE UPSETTING TO PHYSICAL ABUSE SURVIVORS
So yeah. Obviously everyone has different triggers and different things that help or make things worse.
But for the love of god, WE HAVE WORDS FOR A REASON
How was the opera? Was it good? Hope there were no disastrous chandeliers crashing
Okay but actually can you imagine being a guy in the audience at the opera house, and then an evil ghost interrupts the show and kills someone? There is a crowd full of people who will never have the context to understand what the fuck happened. You’re like visiting relatives from out of town, so obviously you go to the theater, and there’s this new musical showing you’ve never heard of, and then during one of the first numbers, the lead actress gets kidnapped on stage mid-song.
Like imagine if you were attending a touring performance of Shrek The Musical, and you find out halfway through it’s a failed sting operation to catch a serial killer who appears on stage disguised as Shrek. Do you think you can get your ticket refunded
Now that's good but I remember correctly that's not how it goes down so let me correct this to the best of my half-remembered ability.
You AREN'T seeing Shrek, you're seeing Shronk: Some Guy's Shrek Fanfiction Opera. You meet up with one of the producers and they say that yeah it was written by a serial killer who lives in the sewers but his music is SUPER good so we're doing it. Then halfway through Shronk is switched out for another actor and it's the serial killer but the wild thing is he sings BETTER than the first guy? And it's clearly a different guy but they're just going for it but then the operation goes off and he kidnaps the lead actress and everyone runs away and now you're pissed because you were kind of invested in the story of Shronk but because this was a world première show written by a guy who was just chased off stage giggling like a giddy schoolgirl you'll never know how it ends.
God if you got invested in the plot of the phantom’s opera, you’re definitely shit out of luck, aren’t you? They are Not restaging that
hanging things in the new apartment
been thinking about grace and adrian being alike
