My secret Evil Wizard Lair >:)

Gay as shit, evil as sin No pronouns, a fey stole them

[sofizardry]

Kinda bs that wizards don’t get pure healing magic. I’m out here coughing out my ENTIRE LUNGS, and I can’t fix it without using vampiric touch? I surround myself with undead minions! They are IMMUNE to necrotic damage! What am I supposed to do, TRAVEL? To the TEMPLE? And pay 37 SILVER to have a lickshpittle cleric cast lesser restoration on me?

Fuck that. And fuck you for suggesting it. I might have to start making an evil found family with a cleric (but one that’s COOL and EVIL, not CRINGE and LAME) at this rate. I tried resurrecting a cleric, but he was working on older rules, so could only summon negative energy (and that really killed the vibes tbh).

Actually, you know what? I’m finally gonna make that phylactery. As soon as I can breathe.

[sofizardry]

One of my minions found an alchemical tome! Found a recipe for HRT (healthy respiration tonic), gonna cook up a batch now. Brb!

[sofizardry]

Good news: I can breathe again!

Better news: I’ve got tits now

[sofizardry]

What if, hypothetically, a great wizard was hoodwinked by a fey. A simple “may I have your pronouns”, and such a wizard may be BAMBOOZLED and DECEIVED. Now, that great wizard may have been left pronounless! Adrift on the ocean of language, movable only by name and epithet.

What is such a wizard to do? Must a scholar be driven to insisting upon being referred to by full name? Perhaps a sufficiently powerful wizard could defeat the fey, reclaiming the mage’s pronouns? Or perhaps the wizard will be forced to fool another into abandoning their pronouns, and claiming them, making the great and powerful spellweaver no better than a trickster fey? A very troublesome situation indeed.

Asking for a friend, by the way.

[sofizardry]

Incredible news! I obliterated the fey, and scattered its ashes across the planes.

Strange news! I claimed the fey’s pronouns, so I now have 37 sets of pronouns!

I guess I can start selling them?

[sofizardry]

Pronoun catalogue:

15 He/him: 5 Silver

13 She/her (one of these is reserved to me. Don’t remember which ones mine though.): 5 Silver

2 She/they: 8 Silver

6 They/them: 10 Silver

1 Xe/Xir: 2 Gold (price negotiable. Never been a pronoun salesman before. Are these acceptable prices?)

[sofizardry]

Hang on, a fey tax collector is here to take my details for the fey IRS.

[sofizardry]

BY TALOS THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING

[sofizardry]

What if, hypothetically, a great wizard was hoodwinked by a fey. A simple “may I have your pronouns”, and such a wizard may be BAMBOOZLED and DECEIVED. Now, that great wizard may have been left pronounless! Adrift on the ocean of language, movable only by name and epithet.

What is such a wizard to do? Must a scholar be driven to insisting upon being referred to by full name? Perhaps a sufficiently powerful wizard could defeat the fey, reclaiming the mage’s pronouns? Or perhaps the wizard will be forced to fool another into abandoning their pronouns, and claiming them, making the great and powerful spellweaver no better than a trickster fey? A very troublesome situation indeed.

Asking for a friend, by the way.

[sofizardry]

Incredible news! I obliterated the fey, and scattered its ashes across the planes.

Strange news! I claimed the fey’s pronouns, so I now have 37 sets of pronouns!

I guess I can start selling them?

[sofizardry]

Pronoun catalogue:

15 He/him: 5 Silver

13 She/her (one of these is reserved to me. Don’t remember which ones mine though.): 5 Silver

2 She/they: 8 Silver

6 They/them: 10 Silver

1 Xe/Xir: 2 Gold (price negotiable. Never been a pronoun salesman before. Are these acceptable prices?)

[sofizardry]

Hang on, a fey tax collector is here to take my details for the fey IRS.

[sofizardry]

What if, hypothetically, a great wizard was hoodwinked by a fey. A simple “may I have your pronouns”, and such a wizard may be BAMBOOZLED and DECEIVED. Now, that great wizard may have been left pronounless! Adrift on the ocean of language, movable only by name and epithet.

What is such a wizard to do? Must a scholar be driven to insisting upon being referred to by full name? Perhaps a sufficiently powerful wizard could defeat the fey, reclaiming the mage’s pronouns? Or perhaps the wizard will be forced to fool another into abandoning their pronouns, and claiming them, making the great and powerful spellweaver no better than a trickster fey? A very troublesome situation indeed.

Asking for a friend, by the way.

[sofizardry]

Incredible news! I obliterated the fey, and scattered its ashes across the planes.

Strange news! I claimed the fey’s pronouns, so I now have 37 sets of pronouns!

I guess I can start selling them?

[sofizardry]

Pronoun catalogue:

15 He/him: 5 Silver

13 She/her (one of these is reserved to me. Don’t remember which ones mine though.): 5 Silver

2 She/they: 8 Silver

6 They/them: 10 Silver

1 Xe/Xir: 2 Gold (price negotiable. Never been a pronoun salesman before. Are these acceptable prices?)

[sofizardry]

What if, hypothetically, a great wizard was hoodwinked by a fey. A simple “may I have your pronouns”, and such a wizard may be BAMBOOZLED and DECEIVED. Now, that great wizard may have been left pronounless! Adrift on the ocean of language, movable only by name and epithet.

What is such a wizard to do? Must a scholar be driven to insisting upon being referred to by full name? Perhaps a sufficiently powerful wizard could defeat the fey, reclaiming the mage’s pronouns? Or perhaps the wizard will be forced to fool another into abandoning their pronouns, and claiming them, making the great and powerful spellweaver no better than a trickster fey? A very troublesome situation indeed.

Asking for a friend, by the way.

[sofizardry]

Incredible news! I obliterated the fey, and scattered its ashes across the planes.

Strange news! I claimed the fey’s pronouns, so I now have 37 sets of pronouns!

I guess I can start selling them?

[sofizardry]

Kinda bs that wizards don’t get pure healing magic. I’m out here coughing out my ENTIRE LUNGS, and I can’t fix it without using vampiric touch? I surround myself with undead minions! They are IMMUNE to necrotic damage! What am I supposed to do, TRAVEL? To the TEMPLE? And pay 37 SILVER to have a lickshpittle cleric cast lesser restoration on me?

Fuck that. And fuck you for suggesting it. I might have to start making an evil found family with a cleric (but one that’s COOL and EVIL, not CRINGE and LAME) at this rate. I tried resurrecting a cleric, but he was working on older rules, so could only summon negative energy (and that really killed the vibes tbh).

Actually, you know what? I’m finally gonna make that phylactery. As soon as I can breathe.

[sofizardry]

One of my minions found an alchemical tome! Found a recipe for HRT (healthy respiration tonic), gonna cook up a batch now. Brb!

[sofizardry]

Kinda bs that wizards don’t get pure healing magic. I’m out here coughing out my ENTIRE LUNGS, and I can’t fix it without using vampiric touch? I surround myself with undead minions! They are IMMUNE to necrotic damage! What am I supposed to do, TRAVEL? To the TEMPLE? And pay 37 SILVER to have a lickshpittle cleric cast lesser restoration on me?

Fuck that. And fuck you for suggesting it. I might have to start making an evil found family with a cleric (but one that’s COOL and EVIL, not CRINGE and LAME) at this rate. I tried resurrecting a cleric, but he was working on older rules, so could only summon negative energy (and that really killed the vibes tbh).

Actually, you know what? I’m finally gonna make that phylactery. As soon as I can breathe.

[enlightenedshadowwizard]

[sofizardry]

What if, hypothetically, a great wizard was hoodwinked by a fey. A simple “may I have your pronouns”, and such a wizard may be BAMBOOZLED and DECEIVED. Now, that great wizard may have been left pronounless! Adrift on the ocean of language, movable only by name and epithet.

What is such a wizard to do? Must a scholar be driven to insisting upon being referred to by full name? Perhaps a sufficiently powerful wizard could defeat the fey, reclaiming the mage’s pronouns? Or perhaps the wizard will be forced to fool another into abandoning their pronouns, and claiming them, making the great and powerful spellweaver no better than a trickster fey? A very troublesome situation indeed.

Asking for a friend, by the way.