between a rock and why bother

they/them • i run the every-asanoya blog and i write fanfiction on ao3 as stellarer

[madeline-kahn]

@pscentral event 39: pride

"When you’re in a fight as bitter and as important as this one, against an enemy, so much bigger, so much stronger than you - well. To find out that you have a friend you never knew existed - It’s the best thing in the world."

Pride (2014) dir. Matthew Warchus

[missingthemantaray]

need to rewatch

[pennyplainknits]

This year in Durham the unions funded Durham pride

‘Bigger and better than ever’: how Durham Pride beat Reform’s funding axe with help from the miners

Solidarity between LGBTQ+ people and unions has saved an event denied ‘a single penny’ of council money

[romanceyourdemons]

the great thing about the wuxia genre is you can start a sect called the Evil Blood Cult in a place called Demon Mountain that’s a volcano full of poison and you all wear crazy gothic black and red hanfu and practice Sinister Backstabber Style kung fu and like. that’s not a deterrent to prospective disciples. do all that and a fuckton of bright eyed youngsters will still show up at your door and say hello i would like to join the demon mountain evil blood cult where do i sign up?

[deep-green-existentialist]

Lockheed Martin was at my college's job fair

[akasztofavirag-por]

You too can experience body horror. by. inhabiting one

[every-asanoya]

[marbirds]

My sweet Jello (study) in colored pencil, brush marker, and pastel on an index card

[marbirds]

miss jello

[haridraws]

The Left Hand of Darkness

[everyday-cutephoto]

[dreadwedge]

As a transsexual woman 👩 who has had multiple experiences ‼️ I have found 🔎 that the biggest block of cheese 🧀 is usually the one ☝️ that has the largest size 📈

[dreadwedge]

mature content

[tetitasdelimon]

top 5 horror movies

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

-the concept of working my whole life

[greelin]

you can never escape a weird little freak that loves you

[greelin]

this was meant to be romantic but now i’m realizing it reads more like. a threat

[televisionenjoyer]

Once you have become essential at your workplace it is very important that you do the following:

- Loudly tell men off when they're incompetent

- Make everyone feel uncomfortable and ruin the mood when they're talking about Harry Potter

- Be very forthcoming about menstruating

[orchisailsa]

They are so fucking married. I cannot with them. 😎🌸

[probuccalfat]

there’s no permanent self and that’s pretty cool

[3000s]

[chard0nneret]

nsfw (nudity)(sexually suggestive art)

hi so i wrote this pwp thing and decided to draw a scene of it because i wanted to draw tits and tattoos 👍 bye

[storybookprincess]

probably my most powerful interpersonal communication hack is to, whenever possible, ask either/or questions rather than yes/no questions

for example, when chatting with coworkers, i’ll often ask if they have any fun weekend plans. but let’s be real - we all feel like friendless losers when someone asks that question and we go “uhhhhh… no.” so instead, i phrase it as “so, do you have anything fun planned over the weekend, or are you just going to enjoy having some time to relax?”

phrased like this, there’s rarely any awkwardness. you’ve presented two options & given both equally positive connotations, so your conversational partner has an automatic “out,” so to speak

but it works for higher stakes conversations too!!!! my mom was saying this weekend how she and her neighbor both like walking around the neighborhood & that she wanted to suggest they take a walk together sometime, but was worried about how to approach the conversation

so i said “how about you just say ‘i’ve noticed we both like taking walks! would you be interested in going for one together, or do you use walks for some precious alone time?’”

now Walking Neighbor has an automatic “get out of jail free card” if she wants to say no!!!! which means my mom doesn’t have to worry about the conversation being uncomfortable, because she’s set it up to go smoothly

either/or questions rather than yes/no questions. it is really like magic

[some-stars]

this is a great technique specifically when you're asking someone a question and worried they'll feel pressured to say yes when they don't want to. if you preload the no as an option, that indicates to them (especially if you can also use nonjudgmental/affirming tone, body language, and phrasing) that it's acceptable to you for them to choose it. this is basically the Walking Neighbor example in OP, but i want to be explicit that this is a really useful way to avoid guilt over unintentionally pressuring people, if that's something you worry about. phrasing asks like this has reduced so much of anxiety about "what if they're only saying yes because they feel bad telling me no?" when i make it clear that saying no to my ask is socially safe, i can trust someone's yes.

(the walking neighbor example works so well because you haven't just offered them a "no," you've cast that "no" in a really positive light--it's not them denying you something, it's them doing self-care in a way you respect! people almost always feel better if the negative/passive option can be recast as positive/active, because western culture is so judgmental of passivity and not Maxxing every second of every day.)

[every-asanoya]