based on his energy, it feels like he's been thinking of leaving for quite a bit now. his energy feels very somber and ah i wouldn't be surprised if he's been crying a lot recently because i'm just feeling so many heavy emotions. damn, this was a hard decision for him to make. he truly did enjoy being in nct and enjoyed his time with the members. those are memories that he will always hold in his heart. he truly is so grateful for the experience, but it just feels like he put so much time, effort, dedication, everything, he put his all for all those years, but he was putting himself and his needs second. in my minds eye i see him crying and breaking down saying, "i just need my mom man." his energy again just feels so emotional and it does feel like he's been needing a break for a very long time now. i think for the first time in his life, he's putting himself and his needs first. throughout the years, he would immerse himself more and more into his inner-world and the need to leave and do his own thing kept growing. i think as the years passed, he started to hate more and more sm's choices and decisions. the direction of nct and the subunits, he didn't like the way it was going. he just got tired of fighting a losing battle. he knew sm will always have the final say so he was just like okay it's time to leave then. i think there's just been a lot of inner conflict with sm and management in general. i think sm was trying to keep him, trying to convince him to stay (because they know the star power he holds as he's one of their most popular idols) but i think it made him want to leave more. he was like, "wow all this fighting to keep me? oh now you want to give me a better schedule? better benefits? whatever." being an idol literally consumed his whole life that he's just ready to truly live. he sees this as a painful but necessary ending. i also think he's just kinda tired of being in south korea? he may go back home to canada or just travel in general. i see him taking this time to mend and heal relationships (with his family, loved ones, friends) since he felt like he didn't have enough time to nurture his connections. i keep hearing mom, there's this big need where he just wants to be with his mom. maybe being back home will help him heal privately, bring some sense of comfort. i wouldn't be surprised if he spends some time apart from social media and just kinda be in his own energy. i do see that he would want to go back to doing music, but idk how long it'll take. tbh he's not really feeling inspired right now. i think one of the main reasons he decided to leave was because he wanted to live his life. it's that simple and it's honestly so heartbreaking feeling his energy and him feeling like he hasn't lived his life the way he wants :/ and im not saying he regrets being an idol, because i do think he's very fond and sentimental with his time in nct. he's feeling a bit lost right now, lots of heavy emotions. he may also do other things besides music, perhaps there's hobbies that he'll find that reignite his creative spark. he could produce music as well. he could also eventually open up a youtube account as like a journal of his life. ah i just can't shake the feeling of so many tears being shed right now. damn i think i'll end it here but this is what i picked up on.
kianamaiart
gummygunk
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