so my husband has been on sick leave from work since july. he's majorly burned out from work, which, fine. I'm glad he had the possibility to take a break and recuperate. I know he's not on vacation, I know he's not a SAH husband, and so I try not to overwhelm him with chores at home.
But. Sometimes. Sometimes it feels like I'm pulling the cart all alone
Whenever I'm trying to problem solve he's like "you're not alone, we're in this together etc" but often I find that very hard to believe, in practice. It goes from small things, like asking him to pick up something to the grocery store and him "forgetting", which happens 75% of the time, or me getting home from a long day of work at the office, plus therapy and gym, being dead inside out and finding that not only did he not fix dinner (which would have been nice, not mandatory, just nice and considerate) but also he hasn't eaten, hasn't showered, hasn't taken his meds, has started a huge home renovation work that he's abandoned around midday and not put anything away so the house looks like a war zone.
Sometimes it's stuff like today.
For context: my parents have an elderly cream Labrador Retriever. We joke and say he's my younger brother. During the Easter weekend my parents were travelling so they left Tsipras (that's the dog) with us. We gave him back on Sunday when we met up at my grandfather's for Easter lunch.
That same weekend, my brother-in-law and his girlfriend went to Azores and lent us their car. We don't have a car because I don't drive and my husband prefers to drive a motorcycle. On Sunday we used my BIL's car to take Tsipras to Easter lunch (with BIL's knowledge and approval).
It just so happens that Tsipras sheds a LOT of cream-colored hair, which is highly visible on the car's dark upholstelry. My husband, who is not working, said he would take the car to be vacuumed and detailed before his brother got back from his trip, which would be today.
Today, when we were leaving to pick up my BIL and his gf at the airport and return their car, my husband tells me he didn't have the car vacuumed as he said he would because he "forgot" and also, because it "didn't matter".
I am mortified. I have to return the car to my BIL looking like a white dog exploded all over the back seat.
Whenever there's something I think can be off my plate, it's never 100% off my plate and it's exhausting. IDK. I shouldn't be complaining, I should be understanding because he's recuperating from burnout, not to mention he's semi-recently diagnosed AuADHD, struggling to adapt to medication and dealing with an unsupportive employer, which makes his burnout even worse.
But. Don't I like. Also get some understanding? Because I'm also not mentally "all there" (I'm not neurodivergent but I'm dealing with depression and anxiety and may be bipolar II - also recently tentatively diagnosed, although I don't buy it yet), I'm adapting to a new job after 11 years doing my old one, I have my plate full as is. And it sometimes does feel like he doesn't care, or he doesn't think ahead, or he doesn't think through the consequences of his actions, and it makes it really hard to deal, while trying my best to be there for him. Sometimes frustration seeps through and then I feel horrible about it.
IDK. This doens't have a point. I just wanted to complain. Even though I shouldn't.
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