[mechagodzilla]

sorry i missed your call i was dual wielding 

[slowroar]

sorry i didnt text back this sword is two handed

[gifsofprocesses]

Flame color guide of various materials combustion  

[lesbianshepard]

if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”

but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”

[oak23]

the level of pettiness, stubbornness and thriftiness

[just-shower-thoughts]

Guns are really just long-ranged holepunchers

[gentlemanbones]

I had a rude-ass dream last night. Some disembodied voice said “Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?” I’m a fan of jokes and do what voices tell me in my dreams, so I say “Yeah, sure.” Then my 8 AM alarm goes off.

Prick.

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

Holy shit

[rosewater1997]

i know its unhealthy to live in your own dream world but like…its safe bitch

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I don’t even remember most of the dream now, just the advice that I received from a gentleman: “if you don’t want your hand stabbed, don’t enter a hand-stabbing contest.”

[charaviolet]

I mean, yeah

[vampire-punk-deactivated2017051]

me; r u an angel because you-

girl in the bar: *6 wings unfolding from her back as her body morphs into a conglomeration of lion’s heads covered in burning eyes* you will forget all you have seen *painless white holy fire sweeps across the bar, when the blinding light fades no one remembers a thing and she is gone*

[eilooxara]

The tooth fairy is fae propaganda

It teaches your kids that it’s ok to invite the Fae into your home and sell them parts of your body

[rincat21]

[farorez-deactivated20201017]

*gets down on one knee* will you…….. *takes out ring* ……….fight me?

[aph-france-deactivated20170222]

*in tears* yes, yes I will

[farorez-deactivated20201017]

*starts sobbing uncontrollably* *punches you square in the face*

[strayghost]

who wants to have a knife fight in the forest with me

[busket]

what knife size are we talking here

[strayghost]

its not the size that matters its the memories u make

[slimetony]

my fondest memory is getting stabbed with a variety of knives. in the forest

[clubsdeuce]

advice to all the kids following me: when you turn 18 people are gonna try and tell you to buy porn or cigarettes because you can, fuck that. you know what else it legal to buy at 18? blades. get yourself a damn sword. a big knife is also okay.

[rockymountaingothic]

yes but how do I know that you’re dating me for my heart and not for my international criminal empire

[entropy-archive-blog]

because your international criminal empire is what you do, and not who you are

[rockymountaingothic]

that is so sweet I might just stab someone

[rincat21]

My friend @v-mod ‘s beautiful demon, Paige Grimoire. A real page turner this one >v>.

[solomon-ciel]

Have a surprise smooch! Hope you’re doing well, and happy late Thanksgiving! ~Mod, and Ask-thegirl-and-herdemon~

____ Mod: PFFFTT Thank you!! (I didn’t know I actually got something in my inbox haha sorry ;=w=) SAME TO YOU I wish ye good things honorable kind samaritan =‘A=)b