i’m tired

just stuff I’ll never reblog on my main

[ifyouknowmenahyoudontt]

the feminine urge to make every sad song you listen to about your relationship with your mother

[lelif]

on mothers

Nayyirah Waheed, Salt//Annie Ernaux, I Remain in Darkness//Ella Wilson, Take Care: Mothers, Daughters and Inheriting Self-Hatred//Sam Gordon, A Mother's Hate//Karl Brjullov, The Last Day of Pompeii//wych elm, Susan Smith//Lady Bird (2017)//@bitterl//Pheobe Bridgers, Kyoto//@filmnoirsbian,the killing grounds//Acacia, mommy//John Green, Turtles All the Way Down//?

[muskaanayesha]

Peace be upon the daughter who helped her parents grow up. Accepted their cold shoulder, excused their anger, pardoned their mistakes, taught them how to be human. Peace be upon the sister who paid the price of rebellion. Screaming to her fullest, shaking like a leaf but standing tall, never letting the dictatorship go without a fight, paving the path for her siblings to breathe easier. Peace be upon the first child of an immigrant father. Aching to find their own purpose in life, firm in their own beliefs, contradicting generations and generations of cultural values. Peace be upon the girl who shouldered her mother's trauma. Swindled it into her own, morphed herself into an image of the womb she once resided in, immersed herself into troubles that weren't even hers, covered up scars that she couldn't even recognize. Peace be upon the woman who forgot who she was. So determined to be the savior of everyone, to fix her family, to nurture and love everyone around her. So deeply lost that she forgot she's just as worthy of love. Peace be upon you.

[svnflowerdreams]

my biggest fear? people eventually seeing me the way i see myself

[xxcheshireesgrinnxx]

I hate how one negative human interaction can send me into a full spiral

[typically-divergent]

it’s not even a fear of abandonment anymore, it’s anticipated. it’s practically backed by science with the amount of times it’s happened.

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[honeypleasejustkillme]

sorry i ghosted you, i was going to kill myself

[hel7l7]

I was too much, I know. 

We’ve all heard this story before

[puresephone]

[lild3m0nsworld]

[chronicallyonlinesworld]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[abnormall]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

Note to self

[quetiapine19-deactivated2024011]

Suicide attempts are traumatic

I don't hear anyone talking about this. But attempting to take your own life is traumatic.

The moments before the attempt are the most heartbreaking. The planning of it. Writing the suicide notes. You imagine all the pain will stop, but you wake up in the morning in your bed/floor/hospital bed/after a coma. Still alive. The ambulance rides. Your friends/family yelling/crying/asking questions. Trying to find the words to doctors why you did it. All you wanted was for it all to stop, but it was the most heartbreaking, painful both mentally and physically, draining thing you went through. Maybe you woke up with regret, maybe with relief.

But after you get back out in the real world, you have to act like nothing happened. You have to keep living surviving after something so traumatic. You still think about that event over and over. What would it be like if it worked? Why didn't it work? The way you did it, triggers you every time you see that thing/place. You get flashbacks. Ambulances make you re-remember everything all over again.

If you've survived, I'm proud you're still here. You're a survivor. Life might not look like it's worth it sometimes, but your future holds something amazing for you, I promise it does get better. Little by little. Don't give up just yet.

[deviika]

Jamie Varon