Today I sat at the park with my grandma and got in the sprinklers and it hurt. It mostly hurt because I remember as a little girl these were the happiest moments and now I'm seeing how my negative emotions can overtake these times. I wish I didn't feel like that because I know I'm destroying myself. I cried at the kids playing and laughing because it's just like wow, that was once me. I can never be that little girl again and it will always hurt. There's so many holes in my heart from my childhood and I know if I don't now work on these holes they will eventually be too big to fill up again. The fact that little girl me was so excited to be teenager and now she is but now wants to go back is just proof that everyone was right, DONT RUSH GROWING UP!!!!
