A scientist's whump rambles

[positiveseed]

@positiveseed

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[original-character-chaos]

wAIT A MINUTE-

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

I realize its been a bit since I last updated. I have a need yall.

And that is method development. Let's say your scientist is experimenting on your poor whumpee. But perhaps they're the first person doing this and the "methods" they use are new to them. (This could be actual experimentation or just straight up torture. You decide.)

But method development is trial and error with a side of research, and a dash of aggravation. Have them have to rerun experiments because they cannot get the instrument to cooperate or their method is clunky and causes the whumpee to pass out. Have the whumpee experience the same thing over and over with gradual differences until the scientist finally gets it right. Maybe the celebrate with the whumpee? Or maybe it just gets worse as they can move on to the next phase.

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

Some unconnected frustrations of science. I hope you can use them well.

You're scientist has something they're working on and they just keep getting interrupted by problems outside their control (60% of the instrument computers going offline for instance). Perhaps they have to keep leaving the poor whumpee in the middle of some torture to help other scientists. And of course they make it worse when they leave even if only for a few minutes. Or maybe your caretaker scientist is overwhelmed and cannot work on saving the whumpee or finding the cure or whatever because they keep having to fix random things that always go wrong.

Have a large quantity of flammable liquid disappear and send the building into lockdown. With poor whumpee having no clue whats happening or perhaps your desperate scientist forced to evacuate leading to prolonged suffering or a failed experiment or what have you.

Or your scientist can't find the one thing they need to finish their medicine and they're so close and so frustrated.

As you can tell. This is the day I had and if any of you write a scientist taking out their frustrations on their subject over these little things, scientists will relate. Just saying.

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

A painful idea.

I have a metal plate in my foot (I'm so beyond happy to answer any/all questions about my broken ankle. It was bad as evidenced by the metal still there) and walking into the nmr room today was quite painful.

So like. Sew magnets into ur whumpees bones (or have a cyborg. Get creative here) and think of a good reason to expose them to magnetic fields. See how far you can go before metal flies out of the skin taking blood and tissue with it.

Make them run their own expirememts in the nmr room while it feels like they're being pulled apart.

Having metal implants and magnets is a miserable time and I hope you can use this tidbit or idea.

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

Today's weird facts about labs (as I sit watching the instrument collect data and procrastinating)

Labs are vacuums. Like the pressure differential between labs and the normal world is vastly different.

The door to the rest of the building remains closed because when it is open the air rushes into the lab and its actually strong enough to blow lab coats off hangers. Papers off benches. Its wild.

So if you're super interested in why this phenomenon occurs you're in the right place.

Labs have these things called hoods. They're essentially super ventilated bench tops. So you have a work area and it is enclosed by a metal box. (It goes to the ceiling usually. Tall box) the front is glass or plastic and can move up and down (called the sash). This is often used for inhalation hazards, smelly things, things which could catch fire, and any chemical you generally don't want spilling on computers or you. The sash moves to allow the scientist access to maneuver the chemicals. And of course they're not air tight. So they're designed so that they suck air up and therefore away from the scientist and the lab. (You can actually see papers and kimwipes blow in the wind. Its how you check the ventilation is working properly) so they're not completely cut off from the lab. As such air from the lab is continuously getting sucked into the hood. Now do this over 30 or so hoods and you have yourself a pressure differential strong enough to generate bursts of wind when someone enters or leaves the lab.

This is the opposite for biological labs. The air will blow out of the lab. It has to do with how those hoods work too but I'm not sure how those work since I am primarily a chemist /biochemist. No live organisms for me (thank goodness)

So this could never happen but I have an idea. In a lab where everything is sealed up tight and perhaps abandoned? The hoods could suck up all the air and suffocate your whumpee.

Think about that for awhile.

Or just a cool detail to add some validity and some interest to your whump scenes. A lab door blows open. People come in with bursts of air. A door is left open and the wind just doesn't stop.

I hope you can enjoy this cool fact

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

Time for some more comments about lab work.

Today's subject of choice is temperature.

Temperature regulation in labs is non-existant. There are computers and instruments and many things which generate heat. Therefore labs have intense ac and heat to attempt to regulate temperature.

There are rooms that are simply freezing as the ac is always blasting to keep the computers running well. I personally tend to run cold in general so I have layers of sweaters and lab coats.

But there also rooms/portions of open areas that are so warm! Like you hate having to wear closed toe shoes and long pants and a lab coat and you get all sweaty. Not cool at all and no pun intended.

I find theres not many comfortable places temperature wise. The building is constantly overcompemsating and cooling/heating too much then going to the other extreme.

This is probably not true of all labs but this is just my experience and that of some of my coworkers as well.

So I suppose I should relate this to whumo but so. A cold whumpee in a lab? Or maybe your scientist is the whumpee and they're like desperately searching for an antidote for their friend and they haven't slept and they have a migraine and cannot get comfortable. They sweat like crazy running around the lab on their feet and sit for two seconds before they collapse and freeze.

Also psa. Lab is like the worst place u can be during a migraine. I can rant about this some other time if people are interested.

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

Howdy,

Send me questions! What do y'all want to know about labs ? About science? Sometimes its all so normal to me that I forget about details which could really help.

Otherwise I'll just keep ranting at lunch haha

[thegreatkaleesi32]

I'm on my lunch break so how about we talk about the scientific method

1. Observation

Ie. The whumpee makes noises of pain

2. A question

What will happen if I hit the whumpee

3. A hypothesis

I predict he'll scream

4. Now this is where it gets good. Data

Some notes about collecting data.

The first data point is always crap. In general you run things in triplicate or multiple times over to warm up the instrument, make sure you did it right. Check if the universe approved etc.

So you now must hit the whumpee three times. Collect data after each point

But now science is all about reproducibility. If the team across the country and the legal trail can't figure out what you did it doesn't count. Similarly if they can figure it out and they don't get the same results you're still out of luck.

So you've hit the whumpee three times now for sample 1. Gotta repeat the expirement. This also comes with sets of three normally but can very wildly with different expirements. You pick how many samples you want.

So day 2 you gotta come back and hit ur whumpee again and see if you get the same results

I was talking about the scientific method wasn't I. Oh dear

Ok analyze the data and draw conclusions. This should inform more observations and more questions. Your work is never complete and your whumpee should learn this

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

Lol accidently posted to my main blog

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

One more thing,

Labs are not quiet. They are so far from silent. 

Even if it’s the middle of the night there are sounds and most of them are creepy, tbh. I’m desensitized by now, but like your first night alone in the lab is something out of a horror movie. 

There’s constant whirring. It sounds like a fan or something rumbling. A gentle hum. And it’s not the same. It changes from the gentle hum to rumbling to fan to any combination. and it never goes away. The volume can increase or decrease with 0 consistency. 

There’s something in my lab locked in a cabinet which literally makes a fucking symbol crash every 45 min or so. 

Imagine science noises. Beeps and boops and wierd droid noises. There are instruments that make these noises but normally only when being used. 

Also like. The floor vibrates. The lab benches vibrate. The building is doing so much to maintain instruments and vacuums and there’s so much happening that there’s a constant vibration that scientists learn to ignore in the first hour. 

So now, for funsies, let’s imagine a whumpee in a lab. Maybe in a cage, maybe permanetely secured to an examination table, use your imagination. They will feel like they’re experiencing a minor earthquake. And the noises. Goodness the noises. They will think people are coming toward them, hiding in cabinets, watching them. When the instruments just adjust, and something else beeps they will expect sirens. Things glow because there’s exit signs and computers and buttons, but it won’t be enough to really illuminate anything. And the constant droning will certainly muffle footsteps or whispers of scientists pondering what to do with their subject. 

Also your scientists will need to be loud to be heard. We often have loud rooms where we put centrifuges and other loud things to try and keep a bit of order, but the general hum is all over. 

Also lock your whumpee in the room with running centrifuges so they can’t hear themselves think! And make them imbalanced so the whumpee fears them exploding. 

This was quite a rant. Congrats if you read this far. 

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

Heyo, 

So I figured I’d give a rant I prepared at work. I don’t know if this’ll help any of you, but some generals about lab stuff. So some myths:

So alot of fiction I see a sterile white room and it’s so clean and sterile that it glows. It’s kinday empty and mysterious.

This really isn’t the case. First off, things are not white unless they’re brand new. They quickly turn this like cream color, or are made to be brown to hide the grime that builds up. Also bench tops are black, like universally. They’re thick like 1.5-2 inches and fire proof. You can light that shit up! (This is how some labs sterilize their desks fun fact). They’re kind of like kitchen counters, they can have cabinets above or below. I’m happy to describe more if people want. There’s colors everywhere. There’s exits and flammable cabinets and showers and color coded pipettes and pretty rainbows of tape. Walls are normally a neutral color and floors vary wildly. 

Don’t get me wrong. There are sterile white rooms, mostly in animal labs. But trust me, no one wants to hang out there given you probably need to decontaminate before and after leaving. 

And 2. Labs are not empty. They are cluttered. They are so fucking cluttered. There’s bottles of God knows what, there’s papers, pens, odds and ends like random tools that only fit one instrument, wires, tubing, beakers that didn’t fit anywhere else. Like a clean scientist simply doesn’t have to clear a space just large enough to work. and some of us (like me) usually have to clear stuff away to make room to do what I need to do. There’s computers and huge instruments the size of furniture. (They usually require their own stands/space or what not). Imagine a really tall and wide oven I suppose. 

I know I said 2, but here’s a third for funsies.

Female scientists do not wear stilettoes. Some might, I don’t want to exclude anyone. But you gotta wear closed toe, comfortable shoes around the lab. You’re walking a lot. And OSHA normally doesn’t want to have any skin on the feet exposed. Of course if you want your badass scientist wearing bright red pumps while she works, fuckin go for it. But also I wear my sneakers (right now Jordan's) and my coworkers usually wear like little booties for fall or sneakers. 

[somesciencefactsandsomescreams]

Howdy!

So a bit about me. I’m a scientist. I work at a big pharma company in Boston on an analytical team. I go by her/hers/she pronouns and I love whump. I creative write, and ironically I’m not super into writing the lab whump for myself. I stick to fantasy worlds with magic and dungeons. ;) But I also think it would be super fun to be a science resource for those of you who are super into experimentation and what not.