Ugly Bag of Mostly Water

A place for the flotsam in my mind to build up and ruin the midnight walks of loving couples.

[steviemcfly]

Shit people have forgotten about the Bush Era:

[asgardreid-deactivated20180407]

Bush watched that Batman Beyond splicing episode and had nightmares for a week

[sidneyia-deactivated20210826]

was it hidey-hole? i thought it was spider-hole.

[lord-kitschener]

Yeah, it was spider-hole

[comedownstairsandsayhello]

I think my favorite was how we un-ironically referred to a whole set of countries as the “Axis of Evil” as if that phrase gives us some kind of meaningful understanding of their geopolitical role and isn’t borrowed straight out of a mediocre made-for-TV superhero movie.

[steviemcfly]

And then there was:

We literally got a terrorism forecast on the news every morning like it was pollen. So many of the things that happened, if they were in a dystopian novel, people would be like, “That’s way too goofy and ridiculous to actually happen in real life,” and yet they did.

[lady--liberty-blog]

THE LAST ONE’S REAL?

[tiffanarchy]

Yeah https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeland_Security_Advisory_System

[oak23]

I genuinely forget that people, even within my own age group, has forgotten the Bush era since they were teenagers and below the voting age at the time, and so forgot how fucking horrifying it was.

Free Speech Zones, which were a real thing and not a plot element in a particularly ham-handed dystopian novel.

The phrase “hidey hole.”

Watching a budget surplus become a massive deficit that was bigger than it even looked because the White House was just like, “Okay, we’ll just not put the wars on the books and just ask for more money for those every few months.”

The sheer number of times Alberto Gonzalez said, “I don’t recall,” to Congress regarding war crimes and human rights violations.

“…now watch this drive.”

Mission Accomplished.

“The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence,” “yellowcake uranium,” Condoleeza’s “mushroom clouds” fearmongering, and all the other bullshit we were fed to get into Iraq.

The President of the United States said so many stupid things that there were one-a-day calendars consisting of an individual quote for each day of the year. They didn’t all have the exact same quotes.

[jeremiagoeswoah]

George W. Bush actually calling countries an “axis of evil”. Like this was a James Bond movie or something. Like all the people from these countries weren’t people but cartoon villains.

Americans pouring French wine down the drain in the streets. “Freedom” fries in the White House cafeteria and the phrase “Cheese-eating surrender monkeys“ appearing all over pop-culture, because we were opposed to the invasion of Iraq.

A huge percentage of Americans believing that at least part of the suicide team from 9/11 was from Iraq, because the media made it seem so to justify the war. Colin Powell lying to the UN about weapons of mass destruction and nuclear material being stored in Iraq. The words “enhanced interrogation technique” being used, because if you say you strapped a guy to a table and drowned him multiple time, it *sounds* like torture and that’s bad for public opinion.

That goddamn “Mission Accomplished” banner.

[upkayac]

This is essential context for Obama’s presidency. Had Obama come after Clinton, the Left would be much less enthusiastic about his presidency. But after Bush he was basically Superman.

Both Obama and Hillary benefit from Bush moving the Overton Window (the range of political policies the public considers acceptable) so far to the stupid fear mongering Right that the Center Right politics of Obama and Hillary can be believably sold as leaning to the Left.

[raltvater]

This post is like those one-a-day calendars because whenever I see it come around again, it has something new on it.

I can’t believe there’s nothing about the Florida recounts in here. This generation has seen so much weird interim technology that we know about things like hanging chads.

Also, are you old enough to remember the word “Halliburton” but not old enough to remember why? Thank George Bush, the oil hungry “anti terror” liar.

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

Can I get a “No child left behind” anyone?  The American education system before Bush was not perfect but this rash of testing that is an existential nightmare in our schools has its roots in the Bush Administration. 

Also Dick Chaney actually shot a man to death.

[anywigwilldo]

Reblog, click the picture, and prepare for battle.

[vikingserket]

after a while i became convinced that the words were mocking me

[whisperrun-blog]

Nothing happened. 

I WAS PROMISED A BATTLE

*throws down gauntlet*

Edit: Went back. This is the best thing to happen to my dashboard ever.

[whisperrun-blog]

Reblogging again because my followers need to see this. To be clear, rebog, go to your actual blog, then click the picture. 

[penandpage]

[experience-much-tranquility]

DO IT, JUST DO IT, IT’S WORTH IT

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

I am not racist but

I support human hegemony in the Galaxy.

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

Britney Spears rises from her grave, a chilling vestige of cold horror wrapper cloak covering a rasping wrath of eyes so black they ooze like spilled ink.  Clocked in cracking energy, a green vestige she floats a nautical fathom from the grave. 

“You were warned you should have left Britney alone!”

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

Fuck it i am back.

swag

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

Ziggaberts manual of war- There are three general types of Terrorist.  Lone gunmen, partisans, and state sponsored. A man shooting a policeman for political reasons or gunning down three Muslim collage kids is an example of a lone gunman. There is nothing you can do to stop this kind of terrorist.  If a person keeps its to them self there is realy nothing that can be done to stop some one who has there mind set on killing.  Luckily, Lone gun man are rare and to the wider world harmless.  Partisans are none government affiliated para militants. Isis, Mexican Drug cartels, Ukrainian nationals during ww2.  History has shown there is NO point engaging partisan forces directly.  It dose not matter how many you kill, the partisan method of war fighting means they can fight a settled societys for pennys a day, wile entire countries have to empty there banks to "mow the lawn."   Luckily for us, partisans breed more partisans. If your lucky enough to live in an aria with out para militants the best coarse of action is to ignore them, or if you must engage, pick one of there inevitable fos to sponcer. This leads nicely to the third category.  State sponsored terrorist, or NGOs fight proxy wars with the support of a goverment. Engaging NGOs is more often then not simply playing into the hand of the mother goverment, as they are often used to fight drawn out proxy wars of acceleration, drawing opponents into a quagmire to bog them down in a proverbial money pit. In this case it is best to put pressure directly on the mother nation, as the proxy is simply a diversion.  

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

The Hell Star Falls

Day 1: "Capture" The Hell Star enters its orbital vector. The Hell Star is sighted at its appointed time by the collages. Not yet in view of the naked eye. The Collages lock there telescopes and begin the predictions of Hell fall. All over the Earth Cursed forests bloom.  The Wolves of the Tomb lands begin to find there voice.  The Seven Kings are made known of its coming. 

Day 2-7: "The Hell Star in Retrograde" the Hell star is still not visible to the naked eye, its coming is marked by a noticeable increase in nightmares. Any side of the Earth that directly faces the Hell Star will see a noticeable increase in depression, anxiety, and sleeplessness. The Black Goat and its spawn loose all interest in the comings and goings of there cult.  The Deep once flee into there depths.    

Day 8-19: "The Weeping" At this point the Hell Star is still not visible to the naked eye. The first half of the Weeping is marked with a world wide lethargy and apathy. The old, infirm and young will die in cases of extreme neglect.  There is agitation in domesticated and wild animals.  The first hints of tidal disturbance is felt.  Crime start to increase slightly. This is a time marked by uneasy, a loss of apatite, nausea and a feeling of impending doom.

Day 20, 21 or 22: "Sky In" First Sky of the Hell Star depends on the hemisphere of the viewer and the weather patters of the night.  Happening on the first clear night after twenty days of travel,  Sky In is known for the physical shock it has on those who view it.  Those who see the Hell Star with the naked eye for the first time are gripped with a physical reaction of horror and disgust.  A sentiment shared with the astronomers who first stop it from there telescopes, witnesses report an intense sensation of being watched, or that the Hell Star is coming directly for them.  Considered the true Star of the "Mad Months," this is a night commonalty marked with riots and other displays of public distress.  It is inportant to note at this time the Hell star begins to slow. At the exact moment of Sky in, the Infinitum will begin to glow.

Day 20 to 30: "The Waxing" The start of serious environmental effects on the earth.  The migration patters of animals is disrupted.  The tides become irregular. A marked increase in mild to moderate earthquakes. Sea storms become regular despite the session. The human population becomes irrational. As the Hell Star grows civil unrest grows as well. Wide spread Fatality becomes wide spread as murder, suicide, rape and infanticide rates skyrocket. Dispute the civil disturbances, foreign relationships between nations quickly deteriorates.  Despite any prior knowledge of this effect, the nations of the world will begin to wage seemingly unprovoked wars with resounding conviction.  The waxing brings with is a mass exodice of domesticated pets and the mass destitution of many of the worlds peoples.    Paranoia, night terrors, sleep peristalsis, migraines, nausea, mood swings, double vision, walking nightmares and a sense of invincibility.  The wolves of the tomb land begin there migration.  The Death Cults of the Hell Star are reformed.  The first of the chosen see there doppelgangers.  

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

A fantasy world were people live on the backs of opinionated giants.  Some of the giants are slow and peaceful, others are fast and war like.  Some demand terrible sacrifice from there hosts, others thrive of anarchy and self expression.  To be exiled from your giant is to be sentenced for death, for the earth has been trampled lifeless from the giants pounding feet. 

Some giants are only as big as large houses, others scrape miles of sky.  Some giants hold great fertile plateaus above there heads, others let cities swing from braided cities tied around there wast.

There is one giant, small, dark and fast.  The runner, he only holds one human, a young girl named Ren.  Ren and the runner  chase the great storms, catching rain water and fishing for swooping birds.  Ren dose not remember her life before the Runner, all she can remember is the wind in her hair and the freedom of the open plains. 

But the world of giants is a tremulous place.  The colossus have formed into powerful chapters, dozens of giants working together and waging titanic wars. There is no place for the tinny runner and his one petulant ward in there nomadic kingdoms. 

Were did the giants come from, why cant Ren remember anything before the runner, why is the runner running, what is he chasing, what is he running from?

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

Be the over sexulized, under socialized, maddeningly privileged apathetic little misanthropic pompous mommas boy you were born to be. 

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

the time line of magic

Year 0: The Seven Sons and Seven Daughters descend down the mountain pass to the valley.  They usher in the three long days.  The Seven Sons and Seven Daughters teach the people of the valley the Arts of Royalty, the seven bows, the 5,000 strikes, the mantras, the chants of the ubiquitous Self and the teachings of the many Fold Way.  This is the age of masters, hermit Kings and great Philosopher Godlings. Magic flowed freely from the Divine and the self. The seven sons and seven daughters breed, the pantions are born and breed with mortals.  Demons and fay are born. The first and greatest of the great Binding Towers are constructed.  The first alchemical tombs are written.

Year 300,000: The end of the third long day. The first mother, she who died comes from above and below.  The first sundering, the breaking of the binds. Of the seven Sons and Seven Daughters all but the nameless Son and Yinga the dog daughter are over run.  The begging of the first true night.  All life is scourged from the Vally and the mountain pass. The mantras and the cants of the ubiquitous self are lost for every.  The teachings of the many Fold way are curopted by neglect. The arts of royalty loose there patrons. The seven bows are forgotten and the 5,000 strikes become the 100,000.  The first mother over runs the world, and all life ends for 500,000,000 years. 

There is no life, no magic, only the towers stand, with there bound trees.  For 500,000,000 years the towers stand as the only sanction in a Stygian abyss.  

Year 500,300,000: The second mother, Born from the dead body of the first, again dies.  The second age of life, allowed to live again thanks to the mercy of the First mother dieing love.    

The vally is reborn, the Gods, in there original condition are reinstated.  All but the seven and the seven (the first house of royalty) in there place are the Colored kings, far more powerful then the seven and the seven, the vally and the mountain pass on to new masters. 

This is the third age, the long hegenimy.  This is the age of the million short days and the four sessions.  This is the age of clerics and sorcerers, as magic now only flows from the divine.  There is no more foreword mobility up the arts of Royalty.  The seven colors become the seven winds.  The many fold way becomes the Books of truth, the ubiquitous self becomes heretical.  Clerkis pray and sorcerers bargin, but the age of Masters, hermit kings and Philosopher Godlings are over.

This is the age of the schools of magic, and the second order of binding.  Alchemisty is rediscovered and with out any other way of magical self expression mastered in secret.   

The gods become numerous and self possessed.  The third age is marked with the segregation of the Gods from the mortals.

Year 10,700,621,325: The second mother comes from above and below.  This time the Vally and the mountain pass are ready. Even so the Hegemony is broken, life is again scourged and and pantheons are culled. The remaining colored kings hide with other refugees in the towers.  One by one the towers fall and the binding trees inside explode with thousands of years of energy.  This turns the tide against the second mother, who weeps for unknown reasons for a thousand years before splitting apart into a half and billion dragons.  In its warn torn state, the valley is ruled by a coalition of the Colored kings and Dragon swarms for 10,000 years, until a great war pushes the dragons up out of the vally into the now desolit mountain pass. 

This age is the sundering of magic.  As the gods died, magic died with them.  More over, the dragons and other spawn of the second mother interbreed with the children of the first.  With out total victory both sides compromised the the who of there unity was weaker then there parts.  Magic was harder, more combersum, more violent.  The second mothers spawn introduced ritual, and blood sacrifice.  The Books of truth were no longer true, static got in the way of a clerkis prairs. 

More tomorow. 

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

How to make a Wizard Part 2

After you leave the second child at the alter the process is more or less out of your hands for a wile.  It will be months or some times even years before you know the effectiveness of your efforts.  If all goes well the spirits and entities of the cursed forest will find the child and coexist with it in some way.  The child may become part of a living grove, a physical part of a colony of tangled Warwood. It may be possessed by spirits of any of the colors, it may be raised by the full breeds of the florist as one of there own All of these and a dozen other options are good things, as they will infuse the child with the essence and some of the power of the forest. 

There is always the possibility that the child will never be found or gain the interest of any of the entities of the forest.  If that is the case it will simply rot away, a wast of time and potential.  It is inportant when making a wizard to except this inevitable possibility.  No matter how carefully you prepare the sacrifice one can not predict the alien complexities of the inner workings of a cursed forest. 

At this point there is nothing to do but wight and observe the first child. Like all humans, once it has spent a night and a day under the canopy the child can never leave the boundaries of the curse, even if you look for it it will never be found, from this point out the upbringing and potential of the sacrifice is up to the whims of the forest. 

The prim child will be a normal babe for a few months, you will start to notice signs that your efforts have worked once the child has begon to speak.  At this stage, keep a close eye on it, and keep an eye out for the fallowing behaviors.  If the second child has survived, in its isolation it will reach out to its twin by tapping into the magics of the forest.  If all is well the prim child will begin to "hear" its twin, and communicate to it though there shared twin connection. It is at this stage that a wizard will begin to cunstruce its own unique incantation magic as it and its twin speak through the aether.   

Twin talk is the defining feature of wizarding.  It is how the prime communicates to the sacrifice, and through that medium, taps into the powers of the forest. Every wizards twin talk is unique to that prim and his sacrifice.  It is inportant to understand that contrary to popular belief, the individual words of twin talk have no esoteric, syntactic power.  For all intense and purposes, it is gibberish.  Learning twin talk will not give you the ability to cast spells, nor will it give you the ability to communicate directly the the sacrifice. Its meaning is purely semantics, a natural process of a child mind growing in a stressed circumstance.

A less predictable sign is the child first forays into a "wizards fugue."  While it is possible for a bound pair to skip the twin talk and skip strait to the fugue state more often then not the prim and the sacrifice will be in heady conversation well before the sacrifice takes its first steps to dominate the prime. 

The fugue is the natural process of bound wizards "switching" bodies, as the prime and the bound willingly or forcefully switch places for a limited amount of time.  Next to twin talk fugue is the most inportant trait of the wizarding arts, as it allows a mortal human a wider range of eldrich energies.  

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

How to make a wizard part 1

To make a wizard you are going to need a pair of twins.  Identical is a plus but it is not mandatory. To maximize potential, the twins must be kept together for no less then three days and no more then a fortnight.  On the night of the full moon (or as full as you can make it with the time allowed) take the youngest child to a cursed forest. Different cursed forests will produce different kinds of wizards, however the ritual no matter the location are the same.  The second child is the sacrifice, the surrogate link that will connect the older child to the spirit world.  As such the child must be prepared. The general goal for the child is to attracted powerful binding spirits while repelling pitiable scavengers. To this end it is a good idea to douse the child in something sweat like honey or cain sugar. This will attract annoying but harmless black demons to the child, acting as a repellent against more harmful spirits. to further discourage scavenging demons, it is a good idea to tether a few dieing goats around the child to act as more suitable pray. The glazed child should be left as deep as possible in the cursed forest, preferable some place were the light of day dose not touch.  If one can find a hallow tree or a inclosed bramble this would do nicely.  There is also the option of making an alter, though time is of the essence. The goal is to get the child off the ground in a place safe from the half breads that lurk in the outskirts of the florist but not so unreachable the child is never found.

Now that you have the younger twin glazed and sat in a tree it is time to think of the binding.  Attracting one spirit or another is a esoteric and nuanced art we will not get into.  If your goal is simply to attracted the strongest spirits possible place around the child chalks and smooth river stones.  Set a fire around the child if possible, drape the child in fully worried prayer beads and the ashes of a burned fox (snake skin will work just as well.) 

Before you leave you must decide if you will kill the child or not. No matter what you chose the likelihood of success is the same, the difference will simply be the character and potency of the magic your future wizard will wield.  A dead twin is less predictable, more swayed by the personalities of the spirits that inhabit its form.  If you have a particular spirit in mind to bind to your wizard it is a good idea to kill the child to better conect the first born to the entity.  However, with out a living sacrifice the first born will be more or less alone with the spirits, and has a much greater risk of being overpowered.  It is safer to keep the child alive, that way, the child will act as a buffer against the first born and the spirit world, sacrificing raw power for stability.

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

So I work

ten hour days with a two hour commute. The days are long and the work is mind numbing, the people are boring and the hours pass like stones.  I have had no time to write anything, all of my energy's have been given bodily to XPO last mile. 

Yet it has become easier.  With time comes experience and with experience comes mastery and this single cog is running his single little wheel better and better.  I have some time to think, a little wiggle room or look around now.  

So i will be reinstating this blog.  Tinny little posts every day, my personal yet adroitly public journal will be used again. 

My god have mercy on all our souls. 

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

staying up all night gnawing on old bones. 

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

I am of course talking about Ronald Reagen

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

lol still hate you

[somethingstupedthiswaycomes]

My Lady !

Came the whisper from the wall.

"Who is there?" stammered the princess, startled from her window side reverence.

"Help, or news of help. Your father the king has learned of your fate, and has sent his most gallant knight to save you from the Fell Witch." Whispered the youthful voice from the wall.

"Oh what fantastic news!" The princess explained, rushing over to crouch by the crack in the wall, gathering up her petty coats.  

"Tell me kind sir, witch goodly knight is my father sending?"

...

Silence comes from the wall for a strained moment, ending in a pained gulp.

"Kind sir. Witch knight has my father sent."

"Your father... your father the king, has sent... He sent... Sir Yigg'sx is coming."

"Oh... oh god... no... he, he..."

" Sir Yigg'sx comes with the wind, he will be here in a day and a night, his coming will usher in a thick fog the likes of witch you will not understand till it comes.  Look to the east, and keep an ear on the wind.  You will notice the buzzing sound before he arrives.  Rip your bedding apart and shove the down in your ears.  Keep your eyes closed, no matter what happens do not look at him!  Keep your mind still, try not to panic, he will notice.  Once he is gone wait for a three days, you will need to wait till the fog departs, you must not enter the fog. Try not to sleep, sleep if you must but a warn you, the nightmares are real. " The voice in the wall said, almost pleading, acting strong.

"But..why him? Why in gods name that...THING?!"

" He is the only one powerful enough to fight the witch. Heaven help you princess, I must go, i must...I must not stay.

"No! Please wait! Don't leave me! Don't leave me alone!"

But the voice was gone from the wall.  All was left was the princess, high in the witches tower, already noticing a faint buzzing from the east.