I cannot stress enough how important it is to be truly comfortable and confident within yourself when someone catches your eye, whether it’s love or lust or something in between.
The guy you fall for will drive you crazy sometimes. It doesn’t matter who he is or how good of a guy he is. At some point, you’ll butt heads, want to smack him silly, and sometimes he’ll just be in a bad mood. That’s why it’s so important for you first to be in a place where you don’t doubt yourself and are secure in who you are. There are going to be days when he’s just not as into talking with people or his attention is directed elsewhere–he’s human, and stress affects us all. You’ll do the same.
Getting older has only solidified the fact that love doesn’t make up for what’s lacking. It can enhance areas of your life, and it can be such a fun, new, exciting experience. You feel things you didn’t know you could feel and the way you start thinking can be a little shocking. But at the same time, there’s a clear difference in knowing who you are, being entirely comfortable in yourself as a person, and having just a few too many doubts.
A significant other isn’t a cure-all. Romantic love in general isn’t. A person can’t ever be because there’s not a single person who’s perfect and gets everything right all the time. Frankly, it’s unfair to expect that of someone.
Find that person who respects you. Don’t expect everything out of his or her mouth to be sunshine and butterflies and rainbows all the time. That person will say things that’ll piss you off at some point and you will choose how to react to them. That person will at times need space, but also want to be there for you and will let you in when needed.
There’s a balance involved just like with anything else, and there will be more than a few times you won’t know what to do. Trust and value yourself, and also recognize that you’re both two very imperfect humans.
It’s okay to love the idea of love, and to love and dream about what it feels like. There’s no one way to be in love or one way to feel when you’re in it. There are times when it feels light and airy and pure and others when it feels a dirty and earthy and exasperating. Other times it’s just friggin’ exhausting.
And sometimes, the person you fall for just may not be the right one for you, or it may not be the right time. Perhaps it’s unrequited, and you’ll end up searching within yourself to discover what that reality means and where you’ll go from here.
You have to know who you are and be confident in that person. You have to love yourself and understand compromise.
That’s when love can finally be fulfilling.
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