needlework is the only thing keeping me sane

she/her, 29

[bumblebeebats]

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

[byjove]

*doctor voice* we just got the test results back from your bloodwork and it’s weird. yeah. your blood is real freaking weird. what’s causing it? no clue. should you be worried about it? not really sure. anyway, just wanted to call and tell you your blood is all kinds of fucked up.

[iraffiruse]

[tim-official]

see every time i see this status i get angry because i’ve played through literally every scenario in rct1 and there is no place where this is a thing. there is never more than one park per map. and in rct2 you can’t make that happen i the scenario editor either. it is not remotely within the game’s functionality to simulate two discrete parks and these games were coded in assembly for christ sake so it’s not like someone modded it in by adding the line “int const TOTAL_NUM_POSSIBLE_PARKS = 2;”. there is no conceivable way this post is anything close to true and even though i know how writing all this out reflects upon me as a person and even though i know exactly how meaningless and trifling of a takedown attempt this is on some random facebook screencap with hundreds of thousands of notes im going to post it anyway because i’m too petty to have any say in the matter

[noshamehustle]

[formerglory25]

reblog if you too are bi and confused or support others’ right to be bi and confused

[organicmatter]

Being hairy is so awesome #mammal

[wakingfromthewater]

Still thinking about this mobile game ad I got. You will f**k increasingly large creatures.

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

[campsis]

Eden Kalif, Good Cats

[knightwithahundredkings]

I really recommend the Táin Bó Cúailnge to anyone looking to get into medieval literature because it's a great story, brilliant poetry (I read the Carson translation, and the way he translates the roscada sections are beautiful) and the backbone of the Ulster Cycle, but it's also just really fucking funny. It has a very slapstick yet dry sense of humor that provides just enough comic relief to make the dramatic moments of the story even more impactful. Genuinely I laugh out loud every few pages. Go read it.

[knightwithahundredkings]

You can't make this shit up

[avvocarlo]

kind of obsessed with this actually. think like a brilliant!!!

[toskarin]

I have a soft spot for the weird tradition of having the actual artists record gibberish versions of songs for sims soundtracks because it enabled me to do this awful bit where I'd randomly insert a simlish version of a track into a playlist and see how long it took people to ask what the fuck was going on

[parkayquarts]

Comic by Art Spiegelman on a conversation with Maurice Sendak about "protecting children" from disturbing imagery

[agroveinthesavagegarden]

Dracula voice: I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for my lawyer, his wife, his wife’s girlfriend, his wife’s girlfriend’s fiancé and their extra boyfriends the Cowboy and the doctor and the doctor’s thesis advisor who knows how to kill vampires for some reason!

[re-dracula]

Visit Original Link

Tune into Re: Dracula in a week's time to hear the count not get away with it.

[kaiasky]

its so sad when u have a headache from looking at a screen and wearing headphones all day. bc its like ewwww i feel bad i wanna crawl into a bed and put on headphones and look at a screen. but actually what will cure you is going outside and staring at the mountains or something. terrible. awful

[willgrahamscock]

[willgrahamscock]

when you get top surgery but you’re still a bottom :/

[peaceandlovetechnology]

Every single day this month has been like Okay sure. Okay sure what the hell. Okay sure. I guess

[timberwind]

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

[wiiwheel]

Everyone is bloomscrolling in my beautiful internet garden