Hello everyone! You all look lovely today and every day- asses fat, faces snatched.
I hate talking about this stuff because it feels dramatic, but it's useful information so here we are. I'm also working on responses to all of your wonderful messages ❤️
I was recently diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. The short version: I have a perfect memory of everything before my brain injury, but I can no longer form new narrative or episodic memories. I don't remember events, conversations, or what I did during the day. Reading my own journal feels like reading a stranger's (I can sometimes retain still "images" of events because my visual memory is intact, but I have to infer what happened from context, like a detective in my own life). I can sometimes remember events if they had a large enough impact to kick the meaning-making portion of my brain into gear while also being reinforced with repetition.
Procedural memory is spared in anterograde amnesia, which means I can still do everything I've always known how to do, such as writing and art and playing piano like a drunk with more confidence than skill. So that's neat at least.
My memory hasn't been great since the craniotomy, but the end of last year was genuinely catastrophic for my health in ways I won't fully get into (call me Caesar the way some people came together to put a knife in my back 😂), and it took out a significant amount of function I'd worked hard to rebuild. This year has mostly been survival mode and that will likely be my new normal.
I'm mentioning all this because I keep detailed checklists and journals, but I still sometimes fumble things like messages, responses to comments, and so forth. It's not personal, ever. If I haven't responded or forgot to read a fic or anything else, please nudge me. I genuinely don't mind.
Aside from everything being horrible, I'm fine. I might be playing life on nightmare difficulty with every debuff active and wearing mob trash for armor while the game is actively trying to kill me, but that's not going to stop me. The horrors persist, but so do I because I'm a stubborn asshole.
My birthday is later this week and I'm opening commissions again to celebrate (and because the aforementioned catastrophic event fucked my finances so hard they'll never walk straight again), including some new options. I'll post details in a couple of days!
If anyone is interested in medical horror, here's a small snapshot of diagnoses just from my neurologist. Neurological diseases are like Pokemon: I have to catch them all.
romaincrisis
stormborns
baratheonpilled
snowghoul
2087
jbbartram-illu
titsay
annaxmalina
