Sunshine in a bag

25

[powerarmor]

this icon

[macabre-maestro]

@normal-horoscopes

[normal-horoscopes]

COTURE

[niggazinmoscow]

“Them out there” ffsssss

[sav3th3b33s]

[theweirdwideweb]

[mxnrique]

[nature-porn]

NASA has released new images of Jupiter, taken by the Juno Spacecraft.

[emmettmccartycullen]

#neverforget the time that Bella wore a full length khaki skirt to meet Edward’s family and he basically lost it because he thought she looked so sexy

[rosaliesgay]

the mormon really jumps out in this paragraph

[shiny-haunters-deactivated20181]

[bisexualalicecullen]

smeyer has a khaki fetish

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

if you’re american and coming to australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100 percent way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here

[marimopet]

what does this say in english

[merinnan]

“Good sir, if you are a resident of the United States of America and coming to visit the sunny land of Australia, allow me to inform you that you should be rather more concerned about being sucker punched by a gentleman named ‘Dane’ who is likely to be seen wearing a wifebeater with a beer company logo on it than by any of the dangerous spiders that exist on this lovely continent”.

[myangelofthelord]

ok so what does it say in american

[merinnan]

“You’re more likely to get sucker punched/cold-cocked by an asshole than you are to be bitten by a spider”.

[star-spangled-jackass]

thank you

[you-or-your-memory]

Well rattle my spoons, that don’t make a lick of sense. Wot in tarnation does this hootenanny say?

[flubz]

“If ya mosey on by Australia, you best be fixin’ to get to some fisticuffs more'n checkin fer spiders.”

[operationsc]

This is a Rosetta Stone for a single language

[phlurp]

My friend claimed he could play Flight of the Bumblebee and accompany himself. Then he did this.

[bookshelfpeppermint]

ITS BACK

[my-lil-spot]

im crying

[battleshipping]

THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

[wholiveswhodieswhoblogsyourstory]

I’m crying over this

[anarchetypalarchive]

so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???

and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”

[carazelaya]

Me

[estradiol]

gender reassignment surgery at Claire’s

[d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-deactivated]

at Claire’s????

[redrobin3x-deactivated20210514]

yeah it was at Claire’s

[elisamaza]

where do i begin

[animatedtext]

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

I like to call my chickens “beasties” or “fat little monster trucks” and other such affectionate terms, but dad seems to take offence whenever I do and always gently refers to them as “the girls,” “the ladies” and sometimes “the dames” when he’s putting them away, like he’s a butler shepherding a group of well-bred country lasses into the parlour for tea 

[sekiss-blog1]

this post evokes such a pleasing mental image that my depression was completely cured for 5 and a half minutes

[thewomenandthechildren]

40′s slapstick act where a clown creampies someone

[trustmeidontknowwhatimdoing]

Considering who I’ve dated in the past, I’ve been creampied by plenty of clowns already

[weirdness-is-good]

[ommanyte]

you butternut fuck, you honey roasted shit

[mattibee]

you absolute pumpkin spiced buffoon 

[ommanyte]

you salted caramel bastard

[zibaldoni-elzapoppin]

September

[the-shy-fox]