Alright friend, you wanna use my name here? You wanna do this publicly now? Fine, let’s go. I’m done. Apologies to my followers, but I’ve already blocked this gal and she won’t take a hint, so I’m left with this. Personal bullshit under the cut.
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You have more respect for me? Seriously? Do you remember sending people on Skype and Gaia to personally attack me? You lied to them and then sent them my way. Did I treat any of them badly? No, I did my best to defend myself, but I treated them with proper respect. Since I know that they were just defending their ‘friend’. So do not talk about respecting me since it’s something you have not done in a long long time. This isn’t me sending anyone to attack you. This is just me calling you out. You’re still trying to sound all righteous in front of everyone. Saying that you ‘tried to be there for me’. You really have a misconception on what being there for someone in a time of need means. At the time I didn’t know that you were still lying to me. That you saw me as nothing but a bother. I just wanted my friend because I felt so alone. I was in another state surrounded by strangers. It was very hard on me. I was already going through so much with you and this piled on to it. Please acknowledge that you were not there. That your homework was more important than my father’s death. You tell everyone that I was some codependent monster. Before June 2015, I did not demand attention. I rarely was the one to IM you. We talked about random things and the story. I complained about family sometimes, but it wasn’t me asking you to fix me or my life. Hell I was going to therapy for my problems so that I could work towards fixing it all myself. You do realize that your own dishonesty is what lead you to have this perception? That if you had told me I never would have brought up my family problems to you again? It’s the same for everything else. You did not need to walk on eggshells. You chose to. I’m not a scary person. I wouldn’t have bitten your head off. I probably would have been a bit sad, but I’d rather be sad than be a bother to anyone. In June of 2015 you fucked me up pretty hardcore. So yes, you did trigger an abandonment complex in me at that time. You left me when I was suicidal to sleep with a guy you had known for less than a week. There was so much running through my head back then that I didn’t know what to do or what to think. It hurt... I felt like my life had no value to you. So I became clingy. I guess I wanted proof that I mattered. We were friends for 10 years. I wanted to believe that it meant something. So then when the lies started happening and then the broken promises. I really kept wanting to believe in you. So I kept giving you chance after chance, but eventually it became too much for me so I ended our friendship. I mean you said you would even write the collab story on your own. Without any consideration for my feelings. It was just another big blow. Everything just told me that you only care about yourself. When I asked you for the favor on New Years it basically solidified this. My mental health and general well being mean nothing to you. I get that... It hurts knowing that you are that kind of person, but I get it. Thanks again for being a selfish and shitty person. BTW, I never asked you to leave DA. That was your own illogical decision. Don’t put that on me. Did your aunt not tell you what happened? Her son hurt your mother... He tackled and chocked her on the ground. Your aunt said “It’s 3 witnesses against the crazy lady.” Your mother was sent to the ER and filed a police report. She choose to leave because it was unsafe for her to stay there. You were right that it all affected her badly. Of course it hurts me to see all of this happen, but it hurts more that you fail to understand that actions speak louder than words. You don’t need to talk to her to help her. You could have been doing more to make sure that she was okay instead of letting her live in a god damn camper for a year and a half. I hate how you keep trying to excuse yourself. To make yourself feel like a model human being. You say you have learned from your past mistakes, but your lack of initiative/willingness to take action are things that have not changed. You still live in your bubble. You still pretend that you’re powerless to help. Keep telling yourself lies and you’ll probably believe them right? I’ve never said that I wanted to be your friend again. Honestly it would be stupid of me to want that after everything you did. It’s true that I want my freedom and it’ll come someday. Perhaps a day when you actually learn what compassion and empathy mean. Until then I’ll call your bullshit out whenever I feel the need to.
