Shh, it'll all make sense one day @sothatwasconfusing - Tumblr Blog

woormfoood-deactivated20220614

another perfect ad on this perfect website

asimovsideburns

The ad: DON’T APPROVE THIS AD! DON’T DO IT! DON’T FUCKING DO IT!!!

The guy in charge of approving ads:

impolitecanadian

imagine being able to listen to carry on my wayward son, objectively a fucking banger of a song, without inflicting psychic damage on yourself

psilocyboi

Tfw u hook up with someone n then u can smell them on u for the rest of the day but in a good way

mewcandy-deactivated20160917

I literally wore the same shirt today because of this

psilocyboi

Me too lmao. I love ur smell

mattsturbator

Can y'all use the new message system.

kaity--did

Do you know how hard it is to live with a cat that has the intelligence level of literally like a 3 year old but the pure chaos of a high ranking demon?

He’s learned to open the lazy Susan and won’t stop clawing open the flour and rolling in it like a little chinchilla

kaity--did

Criminal charges

kaity--did

Hey hey hey HEY

He’s been CRAWLING INTO THE BOTTOM CABINETS to TEAR OPEN THE INSTANT POTATOES and EAT BAGS AND BAGS OF THEM I’m livid but also impressed.

pigcatapult

Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.

kaity--did

He’s not playing with it

He’s eating it.

I can tell because the bags are nearly empty except for a few small clumps.

I knew he loves mashed potatoes. I just didn’t know the extent he’d go to to get them.

kaity--did

We had him tested and in the course of that vet visit he stole

6 tips

3 of the ear light cover things

Our other cats collar

the ear bud of the vets stethoscope

several hearts

a plastic glove

the vet techs hair tie

Also yeah he’s fine he just likes to steal

synebluetoo

Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff

kaity--did

This is his ledge

His ledge is taller then my husband who is 6’2”

I am 5’5”

I have to get the step ladder out once a week and see what Orange Sherbert has taken to his ledge for safe keeping. It’s usually the remote.

cryoverkiltmilk

Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.

fragrant-stars

@jaimistoryteller

thebootydiaries

first donut pic, feeling kinda shy please be kind

dadsquart

wouldn’t it be insane if you took a picture of your foot squished down into the middle of the donut, covered in frosting and sprinkles, with frosting squishing out btween ur toes lmao could you iamgine

unless........

huh

sir hello ?

jimhensonreject

This is the real photo

Who on God’s green earth photoshopped their butt cracks to be larger and smaller. Why would anyone do this.

hunky-salsa-deactivated20240901

natalieironside

"Top 10 Pranks That Went Too Far" compilation where #1 is Liu Bang founding the Han Dynasty

steve-the-evets

hold on i gotta Google something. Okay that's funny

natalieironside

People are asking what this means, so:

Liu Bang was a provincial constable (basically a sheriff) in Classical China who one day was transporting some prisoners who escaped. The penalty for allowing prisoners to escape was death, so my man looked at his prospects and said "welp, in for a penny, in for a pound" and decided to go join up with the dudes who'd been his prisoners 5 minutes ago. This kicked off a chain of events that led to him becoming a bandit chief and eventually a rebel general and ended with him overthrowing the Qin dynasty and becoming Emperor Gaozu of Han.

And you think you had a weird day at work