Land of Innuendo and In-Your-End-o

This blog accepts no responsibilty for any psychic damage incurred by the reader.

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[mezzodical]

[dryiffsrevitalizingtailholetonic]

the shitstains at youtube memoryhole’d propane genesis evangelion but I had already downloaded it because I know youtube is full of absolute cunts so here it is

[nat-20s]

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

[nat-20s]

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

[nat-20s]

Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)

[stellacartography]

Grover, alarmed at having spilled some finger paint on Kermit's flipper: I am so sorry, Kermit. Please forgive me.

Kermit, who deals with a multitude of bodily fluids on his person and all over the theatre every evening, who is unintentionally trampled by large monsters as they exit the stage, and quite intentionally has his little froggy bones launched into a wall most nights by Miss Piggy: It's ok, Grover. I'm a frog. I love baths.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

On Sesame Street: Oh, no, Telly is watching too much television!

The Muppet Show Theater, that night: Gonzo attempts to explain his latest fetish at length.

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[hapalopus]

More from the notes:

[vexwerewolf]

I love this post

[karifaevt]

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

[thebibliosphere]

Absolutely wild to find out another indie author has been referring to you as "the competition" this entire time. Like there can only be one disabled werewolf Romance novel.

I'd like there to be more, actually. I'd like them to hold hands. I would have liked us to hold hands, but alas.

[thebibliosphere]

We could have gone on mailing lists together. We could have shared readers. We could have had a beautiful Fall wedding under the eldritch glow of a blood moon. Why, why must we be forsaken?!

[thebibliosphere]

Wait, could this be our enemies to associates arc? Hot.

[thebibliosphere]

This vague post could have been a knife fight 😔

[sacred-portal]

[orcboxer]

autism tests are so funny. I'm extremely literal most of the time, but people don't tell me that generally, so I'm inclined to answer disagree. because I'm taking the statement too literally

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the thing about being "good with kids" is all it takes is literally just not trying to control and mould them with every interaction. it's just being a normal person and engaging with them through normal interactions like having conversations and playing games. it's just being genuine and friendly and not perceiving them as lumps of wet clay you are there to shape. "oh you're so good with kids" thanks it's because I think they are people

[poetry-protest-pornography]

This is the best one

[ruffboi-mags]

(in case anyone needs context, since i know there's a bunch of younguns who didn't even know the "It's gonna be May" meme... The song playing is NSync's song "It's Gonna Be Me", the guy in the mint green t-shirt is NSync member Lance Bass, and the guy in the pink hoodie is his husband Michael.)

[elephino-but-i-need-a-name]

I need to you all to know that the original caption for this is : “POV your friend mispronounces a word once and now it’s a national holiday.”

[softwaring]

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

I’m contemplating doing a course-based master of data science. I recently got in. I will need student loans for ~50k, do you think it’s a good idea given the AI bubble and the state of tech rn?

When I was in my 20s, my roommate Shannon brought home a WiFi router, and she was like, "Look! If I'm anywhere within 50 feet of that box, I have wireless Internet!"

And I said, "Joke's on you, Shan, because I have a 100-foot ethernet cable." I thought wireless internet was a fad!

Anyway, if I didn't see WiFi coming, I'm not sure I can be trusted when it comes to predicting the future of AI vis-a-vis careers in data science.

[fox-bright]

do not taste plants if you don't know what they are

do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet

hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro

[fox-bright]

And today, we have this winner:

I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...

In comments, they continue:

and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:

So just as a reminder, folks. If you don't know what it is, don't put it in your fucking mouth!

[fox-bright]

YOU GODDAMN STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

[citadelbloodbeard]

Legendary forager and wild food advocate Euell Gibbons (wrote “Stalking the Wild Asparagus”) gave very good advice for dealing with unknown plants; Before you eat any, its characteristics should be as clear and familiar to you as the differences between an apple and an orange at the grocery store.

I will add:

- Apps like Seek are often good at helping to narrow the identity of a plant down to its family or genus, but very often fall short of an actual species ID (I should specify, they fall short of providing a *correct* species ID. Most will be extremely happy to give you a species ID, even though it is patently false). Once the app gets you close, it’s time to crack open a field guide or consult an expert.

- Speaking of field guides; BEWARE OF ANY PUBLISHED POST-AI. I’m serious. Once people figured out they could generate whole books using those bloated chatbots, foraging guides (which had experienced a surge in popularity following the threats of food insecurity during the beginning of the COVID Pandemic) were one of the first genres to be overloaded with ai slop. Look for trusted authors like Samuel Thayer, and publishing dates before 2023.

- A good field guide should offer detailed verbal descriptions of the physical characteristics of various plants, using specific botanical terms, and will often contain a glossary with definitions of those terms. It should also feature maps of the known growing ranges of those plants, and ideally, photographs of the plant during various stages of growth, and at different times of year.

- Start slow. Learn a handful of “easy” plants or fungi that have distinctive characteristics and few toxic lookalikes, and learn them well. Learn the toxic lookalikes as well as you learn the edible species.

- Once you are confident you have a positive ID, try a little bit and see how it agrees with you. Just because it’s “edible” doesn’t mean you aren’t allergic to it.

Learn Your Land and Black Forager are excellent references for foraging information, especially the ecology, ethics, and history of the practice.

[galileosballs]

In the eternal words of mid-90s low-budget Canadian PSAs:

[approximately-infinite]

You know each time I watch this clip I think to myself like wow it really does look like it’s from some vintage gay porno for a second

[cerastes]

I don’t think we ought to normalize or justify bullying as a means to keep people from being annoying — a sentiment that in and of itself could make for a whole article’s worth of conversation — but I do think we should make a habit of politely but directly telling people “hey I didn’t like that”, “that wasn’t funny”, “you are mistaken”, and the like if it’s called for, and more importantly, you should be able to take a “that wasn’t funny” for instance without taking it personally, because protecting a polite harmony where no one can criticize each other, not even politely, is also really, really bad.

[twiststreet]

[biglesbiandragon]

This is what every transition timeline on my dash looks like

[roycohn]

we need to have a conversation about how the "everyone is 12" theory of politics now doesn't only apply to conservative men who want to kick the bad guys' asses and then go home and eat a steak their bangmommy made just for them (NO VEGGIES!!!) but also to adult women who are literally afraid of other people having sex and being sexy. it's like there's been this massive regression among women in their 20s where we've gotten rid of feminism and replaced it with a new form of purity politics that requires never saying anything bad about another women unless you find a new and creative way to call her a whore. the misuse of "she caters to the male gaze" as a new form of enlightened slut shaming, labeling any woman who wears a short skirt or has sex with a man as "not a girls' girl" and "a pick me," the intense overreaction to celebrity affairs or even just shit like the summer house mess where a woman is now dating another woman's ex even though there was no overlap and the "relationship" was just kind of a situationship that fizzled but now these little girls are online demanding both people involved in the new relationship lose their jobs and not get any brand deals, the panic over mildly sexual content in literally any capacity like ads or an instagram post in a crop top, the compulsion to link everything back to the epstein files, the monthly meltdown over sex scenes on tv and in movies. everyone is 12 and AFRAID of sabrina carpenter.

[roycohn]

a helpful guide