nothing personal

michelle

[longbeachgriffy]

working in retail

[sushinfood]

this is exactly how it is and if ANY OF YOU PULL THIS SHIT then stop fucking shopping because we do not want you to come back

[rock-hopperhazuki]

“Over sum CHIPS??!?”

[dommesadico]

I’ve never seen something so accurate

[kaijuno]

The real college experience

- Depression nap at noon - “I haven’t been to that class in 2 weeks lmao” - sometimes ya just see ppl crying and that’s okay - sometimes ya just see ppl napping and that’s okay - DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG SOMEONE IS WALKING THEIR DOG ON CAMPUS THIS IS NOT A DRILL - “Is it free?” - “will there be free food?” - profs walking in late, hungover in pajamas - profs saying the fuck word and the freshies being surprised - *prof walks in 15 minutes late* “y'all want some milk duds” - a second Depression nap - finding a lost temple in the middle of the campus gardens and using it as a study and napping spot - seriously why has no one else found this spot - accidentally getting locked into a building because you studied until 3am and you have to escape through a fire escape on the second floor - Hammock Squad™ - witnessing a mental breakdown at least once a semester - IHOP at 2am with the squad - having to throw away your favorite water bottle because it smells like the alcohol you drank that one time you almost died on homecoming week - the apartment 2 doors down is having a party and they saw you walking to get your mail and invited you and now you’re drunk and sitting on the floor with their dog - The Weed Smell - The First Crossfaded Experience - everyone’s gay - that one prof you become best friends with and ppl wonder if y'all are fuckin but in reality y'all are probably just chillin and watchin cowboy bebop or some shit

[theonlybrunetteweasley]

Today I saw a nipple pasty chillin on the ground in the rain

[kaijuno]

God what a mood

[falsedetective]

9am saturday morning: “i’ve got the whole day, i’m gonna get so much done”

1pm saturday afternoon: still in my pajamas, on my 4th cup of coffee, deep in thought about generic subversion, censorship, and post-colonialism in 2000 animated gay romance “the road to el dorado”

[theboywhoreadsbooks]

Me, looking back at how many books i used to read: I love that bitch, she was going places.

[thejgatsbykid]

the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is Georgiana Darcy, bc u know her brother spent at least two weeks lying around in his Regency Jammies eating Benjamin and Jerrold’s out of ye olde carton feeling sorry for himself bc his crush not only didn’t like him back but tore him to shreds in the process and Georgie had to deal with that and then said crush shows up at their HOUSE and she has to live w both of them probably stealing lovelorn yearning glances at each other the whole damn day while knowing if she even SUGGESTS to her brother that maybe perhaps his crush doesn’t hate his entire guts anymore he’ll just be all tragic about it bc “you don’t KNOW her Georgiana she dESPISES me and i DESERVE it”

[madlori]

benjamin and jerrold’s

[cockmcstuffins]

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

[drive2011-deactivated20220420]

you guys really just don’t check your fucking phones huh? you don’t give a fuck and a half about your notifications? you just carry it around with you everywhere but don’t actually go on it? maybe someone texted you. maybe you received an email. maybe you need to take your daily duolingo lesson. but no, you really just can’t be bothered. fuck you

[sunny-dayze]

The Duolingo owl wrote this post

[all-comes-crashing]

me and my friends dancing to “mr. brightside” 

[callunacthulhu]

I can’t get over how well this fits

[machetelanding]

[veeranger]

no offense but “family is the people you choose to surround yourself with and love you dearly” will literally ALWAYS be a better theme and a better concept than “love the family you were arbitrarily stuck with because they’re related to you”

[just-shower-thoughts]

As an adult, I can quite literally do whatever I want to, but I always end up wanting to just go home.

[paradisiak]

I’ve never seen anything more accurate

[emanuelee]

I’m very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very tired.

[drinkpisspissblood]

most annoying things about the signs

aries: “i’m an aries”

taurus: super jealous and territorial but goes after everyones man 

gemini: judgy!! 

cancer: super specific about their sleeping situation like “it has to be 100% dark and i need a fan on and exactly 2.5 pillows and a queen sized bed to myself”

leo: would break their own fingers to be the center of attention for 5 seconds

virgo: the flakiest people ever, will call you 5 hours after you were supposed to meet and say they fell asleep

libra: will manipulate you for dumb reasons like make you think you want mcdonalds so it doesnt seem like it was their idea

scorpio: genuinely a little bit evil for no reason

sagittarius: never calm down???like please relax

capricorn: will fuck up their own life and then whine about it like it wasn’t 100% their own fault

aquarius: constantly says they don’t like petty/fake people but lowkey one of the most petty/fake signs / 

pisces: constantly crying and need to be babied 

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

my new roommate’s best friend literally says “we’ll just go out for one drink” on a weeknight, goes to a club, has ONE drink while everyone else is getting to it, and then tells everyone when it’s time to go home so they can actually make it to class in the morning and I’m genuinely terrified by the amount of self control she has

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

saying you’ll just have one drink at the club on a school night and then following through and getting up for class the next day demonstrates the exact level of resolve it took to amputate your own arm on an 18th century battlefield

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

i dropped off my resume at this place at 1:15 and got called for an interview at 1:45 holy dang

[aughtpunk]

Today I got interviewed, hired, and then given a dollar raise and a better store location because the interviewer “liked my attitude”

REBLOG FOR GOOD JOB GETTING KARMA COME ON GRAB A PIECE

[mysterywriter36-archive-deactiv]

I reblogged this shit yesterday and I got a job offer from my teacher this morning!!!!!

[aliceversuswonderland-deactivat]

Introverts after alone time to regain their energy:

[motelcarmen-deactivated20180123]

i just want all of my minor followers to know that if an older man on tumblr or in real life for that matter tells you that you’re mature for your age he doesn’t mean it he’s not your friend and his intentions are bad