Help

Please, life is not going so well

[cheesepress-deactivated20191231]

me picking up my cat: heehee i love you my little fat baby

my cat blinking in morse code: you will die at 8:03 pm est on may 28th 2068

[turing-tested]

not to sound like a commie or anything but I hate how it costs money to be alive

[best-of-memes]

[afrocentricheavymetalgoddess]

The end where they’re two people fucked me up the most

[froze]

they’re talking to each other omg (‘:

[wizardshark]

This is my favorite video in all of world history I would die for these cats

[mindfulwrath]

honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp

[fallingtowers]

And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him

[twofingerswhiskey]

my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that

[antiblackness-archive]

[antiblackness-archive]

[lotrlocked]

Reboot this post to be blessed with dream Obama’s wisdom

[renicula]

[damianmcgintleman]

everyone talks about the folgers coffee incest commercial but remember the quizno’s commercial where the guy was fucking the toaster oven?

[mslockheart]

what the fuck

[flyawaymax]

what the fuck

[rose-mcgowan-stan-blog]

a MALE toaster oven

I support their forbidden gay love

[clearlyconfounded]

“Not doin that again that burned”

“We both enjoyed that.”

I’m dying how did this get produced

[suspicious-robot]

He also looks down at his dick when he said it burned

[tkyle]

Peppa Pig is not here for your lying ass, Susie Sheep.

[randomleighcool-deactivated2017]

BITCH!!! 😂😂😂😂

[its-a-different-world]

THIS IS IN MY TOP 10 FAVORITE CARTOON SCENES BECAUSE SHE GOT SO FREAKIN MAD, LIKE, SHE STRAIGHT SPAZZED MY GIRL SNAPPED AND BARELY SAID A WORD. PISSED.

[ruinedchildhood]

[littlegirlsmemories]

[found-sheep-deactivated20250513]

My boy spike was high as a kite

[graceless-goddess-deactivated20]

[absurdist-void]

Can we please stop making scary shark movies? Sharks are pure sweet babies that don’t deserve this slander. They just have bad eyesight. Don’t be mean to them.

[austinado]

the worst emotional truama ive ever recieved in my life is in 2nd grade, i went to catholic school and i was really acting out that day because something my teacher did my made me blood boil, so i acted out and got to sit on a bench alone during recess

however, in defiance i ran to the slide and did the only thing i knew how to do when i was upset at someone and pissed my pants

my teacher was forced to clean up the unpacified rage that was my urination off the slide and of course my mom got called, when i got picked up by her later that day, she began to ask me if i still liked Hillary Duff, who was like my weird 2nd grader TV crush and i got all happy shaking my head like YEAH, YEAH I DO LIKE HILLARY DUFF IS SHE HERE

and thats when it struck, the peircing lance that struck my heart, and i will never forget these words my mother told me:

“Hillary Duff doesn’t like pee pee boys.”

[meepface]

i stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about

[lord-parody]

[soul-blackhole]

Every John green book: my name is Kirk assgun and I m not cool or popular and I'm bullied everyday because I fuck comic books and I watch this really cool show called the Big Bang theory. But it's okay because I at least have 2 other bros and 1 convenient negro friend. You see that girl over there? That's kaydence Tigerlilly Dookieson. SHe is the love of my life. She is misunderstood and like really cool indie bands like Coldplay and she's been smoking since she was 7. She's not like other girls. If only she would realize that the missing key to her life was me, a greasy white boy

[tastefullyoffensive]