[soulalter]

𖥻 SOULALTER, MUTUALS ONLY & HIGHLY SELECTIVE PORTRAYAL OF KALEB KAPLAN, AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER FROM COLLABRATIVE LORE WITH NAUSI ( HEARTALTER, LOVEGRWS, GLITTERCRASHED ). KALEB'S STORY IS DEEPLY INTERTWINED WITH CAIN SATO. WITH THAT BEING SAID, KALEB IS NOT OPEN TO NEW SHIPS. HE IS SHIP EXCLUSIVE WITH HEARTALTER. THIS BLOG WILL FEATURE HEAVY MATERIAL. TRIGGERS THAT WILL BE TAGGED : SUBSTANCE ABUSE, ALCOHOLISM, BROKEN FAMILIES, NEGLECT, MENTIONS OF PHYSICAL & MENTAL ABUSE, AGORAPHOBIA, SUICIDAL IDEATATION, DEPRESSION. THEY WILL ALL BE TAGGED AS BOTH TRIGGER TW + TRIGGER /. THIS BLOG RARELY FOLLOWS FIRST.

▍ ㅤSIDEBLOG. ⚘ PINTEREST. ⚘  PROMPTS. ⚘  CARRD. ⚘  PROMO.

[stlowens]

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals

[resetme]

I told you, love, if you could see it through my eyes, You'd understand my fear of everything in sight.

A Troubled Mind by Noah Kahan, live for Vermont Edition (2022)

[soulalter]

| | | ˙ ⚘ ࣪˖ ࣪ @heartalter said , “ oh, when my weight left the room, did you take a deep breath? ”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀DARK HUES FLICKER TOWARDS CAIN'S SOLEMN FACE BEFORE HIS GAZE FALLS, vision weighed by shame and that familiar fear of the only person you love leaving you behind. he bore his eyes into the floor, focusing on the tiny indent in the floorboard where zach split chin open chasing the family dog. it was so long ago, but the silence brings kaleb back to that moment. his brother always grieved voicelessly, pushing his pain down and blinking until he forced his tears to disappear, biting the insides of his cheeks to muffle the cries, picking the skin around his nails until it bled to redirect his focus to a different pain, because somehow that was easier to manage, like pinching your thigh at the dentist. he could probably count the times he's heard zachary cry on the fingers of one hand --- he suffered in silence. kaleb was similar in a way, bottling up all his grief, making his torment grow in size and severity, which in result turned him bitter, resentment settling in his bones like an old, familiar ache.

“ no, cain. it was the opposite, i --- ” it's been a while since kaleb felt his words strangle him, that familiar, paralyzing ache making it impossible to speak, as if trying to swallow smoke only for it to choke you. “ it felt like i --- i couldn't breathe without you, like i was suffocating, ” he stutters the same way he once used to as a child, feeling so small, helpless. he shakes his head, trying and failing to find the right words to describe the anguish, the vast emptiness that seemed to strangle him the minute cain stepped out of his life, disappearing like a deer into fog over the moors. “ like all the oxygen in the room left with you. ”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀kaleb raises his gaze, eyes straining to look hardened but faltering. walls that were ready to crumble fortified again, like a mutt snaring its fangs in fear, so defenseless that it was ready to bite the hand that reached out to stroke it. dark brows knit as fear rises, desperate to justify what he did, how he pushed him away, because if he couldn't trick himself into thinking that he did the right thing, he would surely go mad. “ --- but if that's what it took, for you to leave this fuckin' place ? then so be it. ” something inside of him breaks with each word, anger replaced by grief, waves of crushing sadness piercing his expression as the corners of his lips quiver, struggling to contain the immensity of his emotions, feeling like a cornered dog. “ i would'a done it all over again. i'd rather suffocate than have you waste away here, the way i did. ” the attempts at keeping his voice stern and confident were feeble, the self-assured mask cracking and letting guilt slip through the cracks, like sap bleeding through broken bark. not even kaleb believed his own words, not fully, at least. a part of him screamed that if he could turn back time, relive that moment, he'd break into pieces and beg cain to stay, stay and never leave, as if his presence was the only thing that could save him from drowning. “ . . . one of us had to make it out. and it was never gonna be me. ” the air leaves his lungs in trembling breaths, words weak and desperate, uttered like autumn leaves falling on cold wind.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM OBSESSION *  assorted dialogue from the script of the 2026 film, adjust as necessary

i've often wondered what it means to truly love someone. and then, i realized it's what i feel for you. it's a love that defies the limitations of the world, that remains steadfast even in the face of chaos.

even if the world lost its color, if hope faded into the night, my love for you wouldn't falter.

i don't think romance is real. i think love is real, but not romance.

romance fades. love is a different thing.

you are so lucky you weren't scheduled today.

hey, are you good?

did you get it back?

it's gone! i dropped it down a fucking drain. of all days...

today's been awful.

i'll see you at eight?

i can meet you early if you want. you don't have to be alone just to secure the spot.

don't come back here complaining.

for a very long time, i've tried to find the best way to tell you that you're the only person i've ever met with the same sense of humor as me.

okay, right off the bat, way too strong.

my feelings are strong.

i know i'm not gonna stop you.

dude, i love trivia night. it's all i have. i wake up every wednesday rock-hard thinking about trivia night.

you gotta take her somewhere else. you have to be clear about your intentions.

do you even try to flirt with her?

if she means this much to you, and i know she does, do it right.

are you serious?

you definitely didn't say fuck.

how do you know about the gun?

how many gunfights have you been in, [name]?

stop being an ass.

didn't you say you have a crazy story?

i'm saying no to being around bad, drunk singers when i just want to go home and sleep.

who's gonna sing salt-n-pepa with me?

don't let me forget, i got you something.

i might quit. i'm just not happy there.

i feel like i need to make a big change. i'm not feeling... love. i need my head in the right place to bring this to life.

i wanna write. the good, the bad, the ugly. real shit.

is that stupid?

is that all that's been bothering you?

you always go out of your way for me, and not just me, for everyone...

you said you had something for me?

why don't you come inside, and we can have a few drinks?

i know what you're trying to do.

i have never seen you act this way.

it's not your fault.

can we go, please?

i just can't sleep in my bed. i don't want to be alone.

it smells like you.

i'm sorry i was so weird earlier.

will you sleep with me?

please, i get in my head. i'll stare at the ceiling all night if i'm in here by myself.

given the circumstances... i needed this.

you kissed me!

can you lay with me?

what the fuck happened last night?

you wouldn't believe what a crazy night i had.

i seriously think she needs help.

i slept on the floor. she was freaking me out.

how am i supposed to get home then?

i want to be transparent with you abuout some things.

i know you like me, [name].

i've known you for so long, and i'm just now realizing i don't even know that much about you.

why are you giving it to me?

i love you so much. i don't think i could live without you.

i thought we were having a nice date?

you're cute when you sleep.

make a deal with me.

i am the happiest i've probably ever been.

i was waiting for you to come home.

i can get dressed and go with you.

no one on this earth will ever comprehend what it feels like to love someone as much as i love you.

can i stand outside?

do you like me?

can you tell me you love me?

i can be anything you want me to be.

i love you in every reality.

let's fuck, [name].

you wanted this, but i'm so glad you did.

you made a shitty wish, and you want to reverse it.

what the fuck is wrong with you?

i wish for a billion dollars.

why don't you love me?

you owe me that.

we can make this work baby.

i'm sorry for the theatrics.

[kimiko24]

[Dog Motifs] Part: 3/??? (Pt:1 & Pt:2)

I'm sorry, I tried to protect us

[soulalter]

carrion was a band that kaleb and cain started in high school. it was their dream, creating music, something larger than themselves, a creative outlet that would allow them to escape whatever trouble they encountered. following many local shows and demos, they started garnering attention. their unique sound and lyricism, blending alternative music genres into an experimental metal sound combined with cain's stage presence . . . it was all a promising start. but as suggestions of signing with labels and going on tour started flooding in, kaleb started realizing how unrealistic that dream was for him at the moment. he was his brother's only caretaker, and zach was already a troubled kid. he struggled socially and academically, required extra care, extra attention. problems piled on and it started to seem like it was no time and place to follow his dreams when his brother needed him the most. but in the end, he didn't know what he was doing either . . . he was just a kid himself, a child raising a child.

kaleb couldn't let the dream die. he pushed cain to continue without him, begged him to carry it on and fulfil their passion on his own, while he stayed behind, stuck in the town he hated, trying to make ends meet for his baby brother. despite being the one who insisted on cain continuing to build the band's success, kaleb holds resentment and bitterness over not being able to be a part of that story. his brother was his purpose, giving zach the childhood that he never had was his priority. if kaleb had a chance to turn back time, he would do it all over again ; but something about seeing everyone fulfill their ambitions, build careers and passions, while he stayed behind, stagnant . . . it felt like life slipped through his fingers and he was doomed to never achieve anything, that it was too late.

carrion became a phenomenon, zach soon moved out, started his own band, got engaged ---- it all seemed like everyone was moving on while kaleb was stuck in place, desolate, isolating himself more and more . . . from the world, from his brother, from cain, from all the people he cared about. the anxiety and shame became too soul crushing to manage. that voice inside kept telling him how everyone he cared about replaced his very existence, that they're doing fine, if not better without him. his brain convinced him that he was no one, a big nothing, just a black hole that would drag everyone into his misery if he were to reach out and beg for the help that he so desperately needed.

[heartalter]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO, HAUNTED BY THE GHOST OF YOU. OH, TAKE ME BACK... @soulalter

[soulalter]

| | | ˙ ⚘ ࣪˖ ࣪ @heartalter said , “ tattooed your initials into my right arm. ”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀KALEB CHERISHED MOMENTS LIKE THIS, golden sunlight melting into a red dusk bleeds into the bedroom, drowning them in a soft, blissful gleam. the dying sunshine falls on cain’s face, illuminating each feature, the sharp outline of his jaw, the soft curve of his cheekbones, the subtle cupid’s bow that begged to be caressed with his own lips. kaleb's stuck in a trance, admiring each little feature that he so desperately missed during their time apart.

“ ---- oh ? ” he rolls over, legs still tangled in one of the many blankets that their bed nest consisted of, cotton pillows and duvets veiled with lavender and cain's scent. “ lemme see if you're not bullshittin' me, ” kaleb drawls under a quiet breath. his hand reaches out, gently taking hold of the other man's wrist, inspecting it closely before a faint smile shines upon tired features.   fingers  trace  the  tattoos  on  his  skin,  touch  ghosting  gently  over  the  black  lines  of  ink  etched  into  skin.   art old and new, fading artwork that he remembered and fresher masterpieces that he had yet to discover. his  thumb  brushes  against  the  two tiny, sharp  k's  on  his  wrist,  as  if  checking  if  they  won’t  smudge,  if  they  stays  there,   undisturbed,   carved  into  his  skin  for  eternity.  they did. “ that chicken - scratch handwritin' looks familiar . . . ” he murmurs, dark hues jumping from the initials back to cain's face, still bathed in that golden glow of a peaceful afternoon. “ where'd ya trace it from, hm ? ” his chest blooming with an indescribable ache at the mere thought of cain holding onto his notes and old journals with that angular, crabbed signature scratched into yellowed paper.

[ohisms]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐈𝐅 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓, 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐄.    (  a collection of various  location prompts categorized by certain environments.  feel free to adjust phrasing as desired. this prompt is likely to be updated in the future.  )

[ 1. ] — URBAN :

the graffiti - scarred underpass of an old railway bridge, echoing with distant trains. the fire escape of a towering high - rise, overlooking a vast grid of sleeping lights. a forgotten alleyway behind a row of storefronts, bathed in the glow of a neon sign. the window booth of a greasy diner, blurred city lights reflected in the glass. a sheltered bus stop tagged with old stickers & graffiti, drenched in midnight rain. a food cart on a busy street corner, steam rising into the cool night air. a 24 - hour laundromat, fluorescent lights humming above rows of idle machines. amidst the initial trickle of commuters through a sprawling subway station. a park at the city's center, made up of grassy knolls & playground equipment. the shadowed corridor of a parking garage, footsteps echoing in concrete silence. the elevated walkway over a busy intersection, offering a bird's - eye view. a vibrant street art mural on the side of a decaying brick building, alive with color.

[ 2. ] — RURAL :

a cramped stall within an empty stable, moonlight shining through the rafters. a neglected orchard where wind - blown fruit rots beneath gnarled trees. a winding gravel path leading all the way to a secluded farmhouse. a field of wildflowers buzzing with bees, bordered by split - rail fencing. a street temporarily shut down on behalf of a bustling farmer's market. the sleepy main street of an eerie town, a single streetlight casting a warm glow. a dry creek bed winding through brittle grass & sun-bleached stones. a rickety wooden bridge arching over a narrow stream, frogs croaking all around. a quiet paddock under bright starlight, farm animals peacefully grazing. the middle of a deep, vast corn field under a brilliantly shining moon. a dusty, unpaved road stretching endlessly through a landscape of rolling hills. a yard sale with patrons trickling through beneath the hot sun.

[ 3. ] — NATURE :

a moss - covered trail leading deeper into a dense, mist-shrouded forest. a windswept cliff overlooking a turbulent gray ocean, gulls crying overhead. a secret lagoon with crystal blue waters & flourishing flora on all sides. the shifting golden dunes of a vast beach, meeting the endless blue of the sea. the banks of a swift, rocky river cutting through a vibrant forest. a lodge / cabin in the middle of the woods, seemingly unoccupied for years. a cluttered camping site deep in the middle of a national forest. the edge of a marsh, thick with reeds & the distant calls of unseen birds. the tranquil, glassy surface of a mountain lake reflecting a clear blue sky. a hidden clearing bathed in dappled light, exuding the scent of damp earth. a fork in the hiking trail, each path offering different adventures. a foggy moor where the land rolls endlessly beneath a grey, heavy sky. the deck of a cozy cottage bathed in sunlight & blooming flowers. a grove of ancient trees, their roots exposed & twisted like veins in the earth.

[ 4. ] — SHOPS & ENTERTAINMENT :

a warm, dimly lit antique shop overflowing with forgotten treasures. the too - cheery gift shop near the front entrance of a hospital. a comic book store sporting bright posters & dozens of tradable goods. amid long aisles lined with thrifted goods at the local consignment store. a cluttered, cozy bookstore smelling of old paper & freshly brewed tea. the incense-heavy interior of a well maintained smoke shop. the warmth of a small-town bakery, pastries piled high in the display case. backstage, the space cluttered with costumes, props, & nervous energy. a shop in an unfamiliar country, every label written in a foreign language. the chilled interior of an ice cream parlor offering refuge on a hot day. under the harsh yellow lights of the only liquor store that was open at 2am. a tourist - trap shop full of cheesy knick-knacks catered to travelers. an unassuming corner shop concealing the entrance to an exclusive club. a vibrant flower market overflowing with fragrant blooms & vendors' chatter. under the flashing lights of a dance club, bass thrumming through the floor. the hushed, reverent interior of a grand theater just before the curtain rises. a pop - up carnival at night, rides whirling & distant screams mixing with music. a karaoke lounge drenched in LED's, lyrics scrolling across a bright screen. the rewards counter of an arcade, stacked wall-to-wall with countless prizes. a classy high - rise rooftop bar with countless city lights sprawling beneath. a brightly lit arcade alive with the sounds of chimes, explosions & laughter. the neon - drenched interior of a retro - themed diner with a jukebox playing old hits. a casino floor buzzing with noise; slot machines chiming, cards shuffling. the open air of a summer music festival, crowd gathered under the twilight. a classic, dimly lit bowling alley- the crash of pins echoing down the lanes. the back row of a mostly - empty movie theatre right as the lights go dark.

[chaesong-hwa]

And I'm finally aware of how shitty and unfair It was to stare ahead like everything was fine

[soulalter]

˖ ࣪ ⚘ @spectsee , cont.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“ oh, i totally can, buddy, when i got proof and an eye witness. got any more cheese puns ? or is the rest of your material dry and aged . . . just like my stolen cheddar ? ” kaleb's surprised he's even gracing him with a response, but he's suddenly taken aback, can't help but to wink repeatedly, as if contemplating whether this was all really happening. the nerve, the audacity ; simply astounding. “ ---- you did not just call me big cheese . . . ”

[dearavonlea]

⚘. LYRICS FROM NOAH KAHAN'S ALBUM THE GREAT DIVIDE. CONTENT WARNING: ALCOHOLISM, DEPRESSION, CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, ABANDONMENT, SELF-SABOTAGE, LONELINESS.

i can't recall the last time that we talked.

we got cigarette burns in the same side of our hands, we ain't friends. we're just morons who broke skin in the same spot.

i've never seen you take a turn that wide, and i'm high enough to still care if i die.

so i tried to read the thoughts that you'd worked overtime to stop.

you know, i think about you all the time, and my deep misunderstanding of your life. how bad it must have been for you back then, and how hard it was to keep it all inside.

i hope you settle down, i hope you marry rich.

i hope you're scared of only ordinary shit.

i heard nothing but the bass in every ballad that you'd play.

the world is scared of hesitating things.

i'm finally aware of how shitty and unfair it was to stare ahead like everything was fine.

did you wish that i could know that you'd fade to some place i wasn't brave enough to go?

i hope you threw a brick right into that stained glass.

i hope you're with someone who isn't scared to ask.

i hope that you're not losing sleep about what's next.

i stretched my arms real wide, tried to break your fall...

you got up, mad as hell, and told me that i had it all.

 i tried to heal your wounds just to say i helped.

it ain't a high road now, it's just uneven ground.

you ain't a goddamn hero now 'cause you cry on live TV.

at least i got a soul still, even if i'm in a bad place.

i'm happy for your haircut, i'm glad you got your act clean.

you're showin' up like bad news and leavin' like a bad dream.

help me if it helps you sleep.

you grew your hair out long, now you think you're jesus christ.

there ain't nobody mistakin' your guilt for some great sacrifice.

drove your ass home. you walked into a haunted house and got angry at the ghosts.

oh, when my weight left the room, did you take a deep breath?

i stole a beer, drove home; there was only one left.

when i make my flight, i'm the devil, but when i stay the night, then we drink.

we stay up and fight 'bout the childhood lie that we both had the courage to leave.

i'm willing and able. if you wanna kick this rock around, if you've got a bone to pick with me, if you've got a flag, plant it in the ground.

i'll stay here 'til mornin'. we can fight like we used to fight.

look at you leavin' again; it's all you know how to do.

go ahead, take the last of the drinks; the world belongs to you.

they all say you're a light; all i see is a shadow.

'cause if i call you out, i'm an asshole.

i tell the truth when i drink.

so come home; let's fight 'bout the childhood lie.

we don't care what the other one thinks.

i wish you could know me, and i wish i could know you much more sometimes...

wish i could do nothin' with you. sit in the yard while the day dies.

leave it all on the table.

i'll say, "i love you," and mean it this time. say, "i'm sorry,” for everything else, if we found a way to the other side.

if you're willing, i'm able.

you always went lookin' for an easy way out.

and you tell yourself lies and disguise them as facts.

just when you think that the road's straight ahead is when the devil shows up on your dashboard again.

all your new friends look a lot likе your last, i wonder why.

it ain't our fault that you aren't suddenly somebody else.

you're an asshole after all.

half as drunk as i thought i'd be by now, that's good.

i can still see the people around me change shape. speak their minds and pretend they were misunderstood.

preachin' 'bout sin over lines of cocaine.

even when you're not here, it becomes about you.

they all want me to tell 'em your story.

you stand over half a foot taller than me.

naïve to believe you would come back.

stay gone. won't you stay gone?

tattooed your initials into my right arm.

there ain't nothing else here worth catching up on.

so, i hope that it's warm wherever you sleep.

i've got a feeling that won't go away.

i still ball up my fists when they mention your name.

no one gets to talk shit but the ones you've shit on.

well, i'll beat your ass in the morning.

you know i've been running all this time.

'cause if i never see you again, you could be anything i want.

i would ask you how you've been, it's all over the internet.

but, hey, i mean, you knew that after all.

if you're looking for an autopsy or a half-assed half-apology then i think you picked the wrong time to make this call.

it is not irrelevant that you stopped taking your medicine but i'm giving you the benefit 'cause it's raining out.

i'll tell you how the weather is.

i should shut you down.

but it's cold, and it's cold, and it's cold, and it's cold, and it’s cold.

i don't know, i'm alone, i'm alone, i'm alone, i'm alone.

i hope you tell me that you're winding down, that you lost thе taste to face the crowd, that whatever made you famous made you sick.

you can only do what pain allows.

it ain't up to you to make it out.

there ain't no shame in callin' this thing quits.

you're a ghost, you're a ghost, you're a ghost, and you're—

poison spreading to my lungs.

i ain't holdin' breath, ain't holdin' any faith at all.

and i'll pray for you, be in pain for you.

i'll leave the porch light on.

heartbroken, each morning when it's me that turns it off.

i try to drown out all the talk, the eyeballs in the parking lot.

i wanna drop the gloves, but you're far too patient.

i wanna see you lose it, i wanna hear you say it.

do you still have a heart or has somebody stole it?

i'm far too tired to watch you lie, so let's just watch TV.

another thing we don't talk about anymore.

don't worry, i won't bring it up.

you can scream at me when i come home drunk.

when i ask about the past, you deny-ny-ny.

we're both exhausted for different reasons.

i used to care to know your secrets.

you said you got a guilty conscience, but i ain't ever seen it.

i'm well-prepared to never meet him.

[soulalter]

carrion was a band that kaleb and cain started in high school. it was their dream, creating music, something larger than themselves, a creative outlet that would allow them to escape whatever trouble they encountered. following many local shows and demos, they started garnering attention. their unique sound and lyricism, blending alternative music genres into an experimental metal sound combined with cain's stage presence . . . it was all a promising start. but as suggestions of signing with labels and going on tour started flooding in, kaleb started realizing how unrealistic that dream was for him at the moment. he was his brother's only caretaker, and zach was already a troubled kid. he struggled socially and academically, required extra care, extra attention. problems piled on and it started to seem like it was no time and place to follow his dreams when his brother needed him the most. but in the end, he didn't know what he was doing either . . . he was just a kid himself, a child raising a child.

kaleb couldn't let the dream die. he pushed cain to continue without him, begged him to carry it on and fulfil their passion on his own, while he stayed behind, stuck in the town he hated, trying to make ends meet for his baby brother. despite being the one who insisted on cain continuing to build the band's success, kaleb holds resentment and bitterness over not being able to be a part of that story. his brother was his purpose, giving zach the childhood that he never had was his priority. if kaleb had a chance to turn back time, he would do it all over again ; but something about seeing everyone fulfill their ambitions, build careers and passions, while he stayed behind, stagnant . . . it felt like life slipped through his fingers and he was doomed to never achieve anything, that it was too late.

carrion became a phenomenon, zach soon moved out, started his own band, got engaged ---- it all seemed like everyone was moving on while kaleb was stuck in place, desolate, isolating himself more and more . . . from the world, from his brother, from cain, from all the people he cared about. the anxiety and shame became too soul crushing to manage. that voice inside kept telling him how everyone he cared about replaced his very existence, that they're doing fine, if not better without him. his brain convinced him that he was no one, a big nothing, just a black hole that would drag everyone into his misery if he were to reach out and beg for the help that he so desperately needed.

[soulalter]

𓍢ִ໋ㅤ TAG DUMP.

[inkpressedpetals]

[chaesong-hwa]

Do you remember crying for all them horses? They did not look scared at all, they did not look scared, they did not look scared at all