Afterlife — the seven deadly sins!au (l.mrk)
➼ “The curses that your father and my mother put on us is almost unthinkable. Eternal life and eternal reincarnation. You'll never age again, and even if you die you'll only be resurrected. I will live short lives as a human, one after another, and each time I'll forget everything about my past life. And if I ever regain all the memories of my past life and full, no matter what, no matter who's there to protect me, I will die in three days. There's more, I'm going to meet you every time I'm reincarnated and fall in love with you, then without fail, I'll lose my life right before your eyes."
Words count: 4.4k
Genre: angst - cursedlovers!au - the seven deadly sins!au - meliodas!mark - elizabeth!you
Warnings: mention of death.
Disclaimer: If you are watching (or planning to watch) The Seven Deadly Sins and still has not watched 3x09 (or 4x09 if you’re watching it through Netflix) do NOT read this. It contains spoilers.
Please, listen to Afterlife by Hailee Steinfeld to make the reading more pleasing.
I remember the very first time that I lost you.
I remember waking up, feeling surprised that I was somehow alive after the attack of our parents.
The last thing I could remember was that I had taken my last breath while holding tightly onto your tiny delicate hand that I loved to kiss. I had even seen the bright white light and everything. It didn’t make sense of how I could possibly have survived that.
As I first started to move, it hit me that all of my bruises had gone away. There was not even a single trace of pain in my body. For a second, I even dared to think that a miracle had happened or something, but that only lasted until I saw you. Your lifeless and bruised body was resting peacefully by my side. You looked so beautiful that it almost seemed like you were asleep. At least, that’s what I wanted to believe.
But you weren’t. You were gone. The once warm and joyful woman I had once loved was now cold and quiet.
It took me days to have the courage to leave your grave, and it still felt wrong when I did. It felt as if I was abandoning you. Leaving you behind. However, when hunger and thirst started to settle in, and I had no choice but to leave you. From that day on, I felt like I was in a living hell. It reached a point where I wasn’t sure if I was alive anymore, all I could feel was this emptiness inside of me, screaming from agony and hurt. The lack of proper food, water, and sleep made everything harder, that’s true, but your absence and the lack of your love were the causes of my misery.
On some nights I would blame even the stars for my suffering. I would accuse them of giving the so-called gift of life to the wrong person because there was no way I could feel like I was alive without you by my side. But there was until I saw you. I was wandering helplessly through the desert for days. At that point, I had seen every single kind of illusion you can think of, but when I saw you, I somehow knew it wasn’t just an illusion.
You looked more astonishing than ever. Your rosy cheeks, your warm smile, your pure eyes. That was no way that wasn’t you. Even the name was the same.
There was just one little problem: You acted as you had never seen me before.
To be honest, I couldn’t care less if your love for me was as bright as before or not, all that mattered was that you were back, safe, and sound.
Eventually, you fell in love with me again. You took me to your home, and I got to know your new life and the people that had raised you. During the period we were together, we found out new things we liked to do, like staring at the stars, playing close to the river, drawing on the sand... everything felt fresh with the new you. I knew she was you, but you were slightly different from what I remembered. It was almost like your stubbornness had been accentuated on that new version of you. It still was you, but with a specific trait of your personality accentuated. At least, that was what it looked like to me. And I wasn't wrong. I just didn't expect you to be the one to tell me that yourself.
One day, you saved one of our friends after he had been hurt by an animal. Your power started to come back along with the goddess race symbol on your left eye. There was no need to doubt anymore. You were you. You were my Y/N, daughter of the queen of the goddess race. It still didn't make sense how you had reborn with the same looks, voice, and even the same name, but I had no other choice, I had to tell you the truth about everything. I knew I was going to sound crazy, but I had to try. You were the reincarnation of the love of my life. I was thrilled to see you back, I had to make an effort to make you understand what has happened to us, even if the story would make me sound crazy. If only I knew better...
When you fully recovered all of our past memories together, the first thing that I wanted to do was hug you tight and never let you go again. I knew that was you. I didn't know how you had resurrected, but I made sure to thank all of the stars I had previously cursed for bringing me back to life.
Unfortunately, my happiness didn't stick around as I wanted it to be.
One night, you came to me to tell me you had remembered everything, but only to also tell me that we have been cursed.
"Listen to me. You and I have been cursed."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'll explain. But first, I want you to promise me something. No matter what happens, even if I end up dying again, you'll lift this curse." You demanded staring right at my eyes.
"What are you saying-" I started with a twisted expression taking over my face.
"Swear to me!" You insisted with some clear desperation in your voice.
"All right. I give you my word, even if you die, I swear I'll keep my promise to you."
"Thank you. I'll tell you everything. The curses that your father and my mother put on us is almost unthinkable. Eternal life and eternal reincarnation. You'll never age again, and even if you die you'll only be resurrected. I will live short lives as a human, one after another, and each time I'll forget everything about my past life. And if I ever regain all the memories of my past life and full, no matter what, no matter who's there to protect me, I will die in three days. There's more, I'm going to meet you every time I'm reincarnated and fall in love with you, then without fail, I'll lose my life right before your eyes."
“Those words... I never forgot them. Once in a while, I still can hear your voice in my head saying those exact same words. Sometimes they are the only thing that keeps me going.” I admitted, shutting my eyes as the memories of that time started to fill in my mind. That was the first time in a while that I was finally being honest with you about this whole situation. I knew you weren't going to remember it in your next life, but you were the only person who I could possibly talk about those things. And the only one who mattered.
“I remember that day.” You quietly murmur, while squeezing my hand as an attempt to bring me comfort.
You knew I had a hard time telling you that. We were both sitting on an old tree trunk outside of the house, hoping that the sunlight would somehow help with your shivers. In this life, you had a serious health condition that not even the fairies could heal. And considering how bad your situation had gotten when you started to remember our past together, I could only assume we didn't have much time.
“But that's the first time I'm hearing about all those years you spent by yourself after waking up for the very first time.” You pressed your lips against the back of my hand, making me giggle at that little action that was usually done by me when I wanted to cheer you up. “Yeah, I usually don't like to be the one to tell you about our past since if I do, you die faster. But now that we might only have some hours together, I don't see the point of not answering your questions.” I added, shrugging at the end of the sentence as I brought your hand closer to my lips so I could kiss it just like you did to mine.
“You're too quiet. Are you okay? Do you want me to get you another blanket?” I rushed to ask when I noticed the long silence between us.
The wind was whipping around both of us, and I refused to look anywhere that wasn't your sick and fragile figure. The sun wasn't being much of a help to your shivering.
“Mark, when I asked you to break this curse no matter what, I wasn’t thinking clearly.” You started as you stared at the beautiful horizon ahead of us, avoiding any eye contact with me. Your eyes seemed like they had gotten lost in the breathtaking sky's image that the lake was reflecting a few meters away from us. You knew you weren't going to see those for much longer in this life.
“I was terrified by the thought of how much pain the curse would inflict on us, especially on you. I knew you would suffer the most between us, and the fact that I would never be able to comfort you since all the memories of my previous lives would be gone the second I resurrected...” You stopped yourself for a second as you closed your eyes out of hurting, biting your lower lip just like you always do when you wanted to suppress a cry. Nothing could hurt me more than that. “It just... I felt weak and powerless.” You opened your eyes again, only to stare at your own hands, almost like you were ashamed of feeling that way.
I always thought that in some reincarnations you feared the upcoming and unstoppable death. I had never realized that what terrified you the most was the thought that when you died, even if you resurrected again, you wouldn't understand the pain I always go through whenever I lose you again.
Your biggest fear turned out to be the same as mine: I feared that I wouldn't be there as you needed me to be.
That was the first time that I didn’t only hate our parents for cursing us. I despised them for putting you through so much pain.
“What are you talking about? You could never be neither of these things, you-”
“I know.” You shushed me, putting one of your fingers on my lips as you gave me one of signature sweet smiles. “I just wanted to spare you from all of the future sufferings. But since I knew I could never do it with my own hands, I pushed this burden to your shoulders, making you promise me that you would find a solution to end the curse and your hurting. I’ve just never stopped to think about how much you were willing to lose to keep that promise until now.”
“Y/N, I will keep my promise to you. No matter what happens. No matter what I have to sacrifice. I will free us both from this."
“I know you will. You've never broken a promise before, and I’m sure you won’t start now.” You gently kissed my cheek, getting yourself closer to me as your head touched my shoulder. “But there’s one thing that I consider to be more important than keeping that promise. Something that I treasure way too much to live without. Something I need you to protect during your journey.”
“I'll do whatever you ask me. No matter how many more years it will take to lift this curse, I will protect it throughout this time.” I assured in a confident, expecting anything but the words that came out of your mouth.
“You.” You smiled, pointing at my nose, making me flinch at how unexpected your answer felt to me. “I need you to protect your heart. I know coming and going from the purgatory if you occasionally die, won't do any good for your emotions. But you are the one thing I cherish the most in whatever life I am, and that's something that will never change, no matter how many times I reincarnate.”
“I'll always come back to you as the man I am now. The man who will love for your every breath, for your every heartbeat... the one who's always gonna be yours.”
“About that…” You started, with your smile slowly leaving your lips as your eyes closed. “Will you still love me when my heartbeat stops?”
“Huh? Why are you asking me this?” My face twisted in confusion, not understanding where that was coming from. “Did I say something that gave you a wrong impression?”
“No, it's not that!” You rushed to shake your head, with some strands of hair falling onto your face. “Then what is it, love?” I asked, tucking your hair behind your ear, letting my hand gently holding the side of your face.
“I know It’s foolish to even ask, but I’m afraid one day you’ll begin to hate me for leaving you alone so many times... I know it's not my fault and that I can't stop it, but please, just tell me, will you love me all the God knows how many times my heartbeat stops in the future? Will you stay mine until we meet again?”
“So that is what you’re worried about?” I let out a giggle out of relief from all the worry that had set on my heart, pulling you closer as I gave you what turned to be our last kiss on that life of yours. “I will truly, madly, and deeply always love every new version of you. No matter how many times you die, my love will only grow stronger, I can assure you that.”
And I didn’t lie about it. Two reincarnations of you later, you again got your memories back, and again, we were having this conversation. The conversation where we just enjoy our last moments together. Our last talk before you were gone. Again.
“Do you remember that time when we used to joke about how immortality would be bliss?" You asked me while drawing the trace of my veins in my arms with your fingers.
“We were so innocent, weren't we?” I sadly smiled at the memory that was so distant from our current reality, almost making it feel like a dream rather than an actual memory.
“We indeed were.” You chucked at your own thoughts, staring at the sunset right ahead of us. “We used to think of immortality like the forever freedom of just playing around and enjoying the sunset.” You giggled at your thoughts, letting a sad smile take place after it. I instantly shook my head, silently wishing that destiny wouldn't have been this cruel towards the two of us. “I wish it could be that easy.”
“Me too. It feels way more like I’m trapped than free.” I tightened my grip around your waist as if it could somehow prevent you from leaving as we knew you were going to in a few hours.
I was sitting with my back against a tree while having you between my legs, with your head resting against my chest. You used to tell me all the time how much listening to my heartbeats would calm you down whenever you were nervous. I was happy to see that even if you hadn't mentioned it in this new life of yours yet, that still seemed to work. Your hair color was now different from the first time that I met you, but it only confirmed how damn beautiful you looked in whatever hair color you had.
“I feel the same. Every single time I resurrect, it's like I'm trapped in my own mind, struggling to get out to be the complete me with you. But our happiness never lasts more than three days. It almost makes me want to never remember anything. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm saying such a thing. I can't even begin to understand how this makes you feel.”
“It's okay. We will always find each other.” I reassured you, placing a small kiss on your neck, expecting you to turn around to look at me as you always do, but you didn't even move. “Babe?”
“What if we don't?” You suddenly turned to face me, with tears forming in your eyes. Your golden eyes were even more bright thanks to the sunset kissing your figure. A part of me wanted to just stare at you in amusement. Your beauty never failed to impress me. Even when you cried. “Have you thought- I mean.” You looked away for a second, biting your lower lip just like you used to do whenever you were unsure whether to say something or not. “Mark, you should find someone else. The curse doesn't force you to love every version of me.”
“No.” I firmly stated as I shook my head. Hearing those words leaving your lips were like a billion swords crossing through my heart.
“Mark just listen to me. You don’t have to stay with me every single time we meet. You can’t just turn around and pretend like-”
“No, you listen to me!” I cut you off, causing you to flinch at how loud my words had sounded, making me take a deep breath before continuing. “I don't care if the curse doesn’t force us to live close to each other. I don’t care if the curse says that you will always fall in love with me. I will never turn my back on you after we meet for the first time. We’re together on this.”
“Mark... I know you think you will be breaking my heart if you pretend or actually don’t correspond to my feelings one day. But, can’t you see I’ve been breaking your heart over and over again all these years every time I die?” You sobbed, closing your eyes and shaking your head as you attempted to push me away with no success. “It’s okay to break my heart to preserve yours. I’ll be more than happy to have my heart broken by you.”
“Y/N, I promise you I will always search for us. My heart will always point to yours and only yours.” I pointed at your chest with one of my fingers, holding tightly onto one of your hands as I stared directly at your soul. I was dead serious, and I wanted you to feel it. “You’re my one.” I assured you while my heart crashed against my ribs, echoing in my head. Just the thought that you were somehow thinking about me finding another person... it just hurt.
“And you’re my only.” You completed my sentence with some tears finally dropping and staining your rosy cheeks. You then hid your face on my chest and laced your hands on the back of my neck, giving me one of the best feelings ever that only you were capable of making me feel. No matter how much I tried to explain, there's nothing in this world that would make you begin to understand how much effects you could cause me.
Three hours later, you died again. Right in front of my eyes.
This is now your current reincarnation. You still haven’t regained the memories of your past lives, and as each day passes, the overpowering fear in my chest keeps whispering at me that you’re going to die at any minute. Three days ago, I almost freaked out when you took 10 minutes longer than usual to come back from the river. I am definitely starting to get paranoid.
I know I should’ve gotten used to losing you at this point. I know I shouldn’t miss your past reincarnations. I know I shouldn’t get attached to you again when I know I’m gonna lose you anyway. But I can’t. Every single time you reincarnate, I fall in love with you all over again. There’s always a specific trait of your personality that stands out the most in each of your reincarnations. At this point, I’ve learned to love every detail of you, including the ones I didn’t like that much when we first got together. That is the only good of the curse: It’s teaching me how to love your whole self.
As an attempt to delay the unavoidable, I somehow managed to convince you to go with me to a place far from the city for us to have some time to ourselves. The truth is that I just wanted to drag you to anywhere less dangerous than the city. And yes, I know I’m going beyond paranoid. But it's not like I can't quit my heart literally stopping whenever you’re not on my eyesight. I’ve been also starting to fear whatever small quiet noisy around us. I want to believe in my illusion that the closer, the safer you are; however, we know that’s not how it works.
“Will you find me afterlife?” You suddenly ask as you were picking some flowers to decorate our house back in the city. For a second, I swear my heart stopped beating. “Mark?”
When you turn around to face me, I quickly get out of my paralyzed state, as an attempt to brush off any signs that could show up how nervous that question makes me feel.
“Um… what are you talking about? Have you hit your head on a rock or something?” I force a chuckle out, while a try to send all the tension present on my body away.
“I know this might sound weird. But you’ve heard the rumors, the kingdom is going through some diplomatic tension with our neighbors, I just began to realize that life is… short. We may not always have the opportunity to sit together to enjoy ourselves on a broad green beautiful place filled with flowers like this one.”
“Are you worried that I might be summed to a future war?” Worry wrinkles take over my forehead as I stare at you trying to understand your point.
“No. I know you enough to predict that you would probably run away with me if that was ever the case, you would choose to protect me first.”
“Fair enough.” I place a small kiss on your neck, bringing you closer to me as you sense the perfume of one of the flowers you picked, giggling at my small affection. “But still. why would you ask me that?”
“Honestly?” You ask, letting a deep sigh leave your rosy lips as you placed the flowers you picked on the floor. “Yes, please.” My hands automatically go to yours, with all of my attention directed to you. In other reincarnations of you, I would probably be freaking out about a conversation like that since it almost sounds like you’re starting to remember everything, but considering that in this life you’re always daydreaming and wondering about impossible things, I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt.
“I’ve loved fairytales since I was a little girl, and a small part of me always wondered if I would really find someone who would make me the estimated butterflies in my stomach. But Mark, not even in my wildest dreams I thought I would love someone as much as I love you. Sometimes I even question myself if it’s allowed for someone to love another human being as much as I love you.” You smile to yourself as you play with my fingers, causing me to smile like the fool I’ve always been when it comes to you.
“It goes both ways. You know that, right?” I squeeze your other hand, not being able to hide the smile that takes over my face after hearing your words. “I know, you’ve never been afraid of showing your heart to me.” You let go of my hand so you can touch my cheek, making me tilt my head to the side so I could kiss your palm.
“I can feel a “but” coming, just go ahead.” I encourage you, watching your eyes finally break the eye contact with me, just like you always do when you’re about to get serious about something.
“It’s just… the only certainty we have in life is that someday we’ll die. And I’m not afraid of dying, really, death doesn’t scare me. But what terrifies me is the thought that death will be our last kiss. The last time I see your smile. The last time I get to run my fingers through your hair while you sleep. The last time I get to be in your loving arms. The last time I see you.” Your eyes finally look back to me at the last words left your mouth. There isn’t any sign of the goddess symbol in your eyes, and that somehow makes me want to sigh in relief.
“Oh, baby.” I exasperate, holding onto your waist as I gently pull you to lay down with me. “I thought you believed that an afterlife existed.”
“And I do! But what if we can’t find each other there?” You question, looking a little pouty as you lay your head on my chest, drawing imaginary circles on it as you stare at me. God knows how much I love when you do that. “Would death still be our last kiss or the last time we saw each other?”
That is the first time in decades that a small part of me secretly wishes to tell you about the curse. Not the bad part though, but I want to tell you about us, and how death does not mean the end of us. In fact, it almost means like a “new start” for you in some twisted way.
“No. Whatever happens after death, if there’s really some kind of afterlife, I will find you there. Death will never be our last kiss.” I state in a confident tone, holding your hand as tight as I can to let you know how serious I am about this.
“Pinky promise?” You put your finger out, waiting to hook it with mine.
In all of your reincarnations, I probably have never loved you as much as I love you now. Every single little thing you do just leads me into loving you harder and harder. And even if I know I’m gonna lose you soon, I don’t want your name to continue to burn still like all the words left unsaid from your past reincarnation. What I truly I wanna do is show you how deeply I care, love, and treasure you. The one my heart chose and will forever continue to choose as my one and only, even when I lift this curse, even when you die. I love all the past and future versions of you as much as I loved you when I first put my eyes on you a thousand years ago. And something tells me that love will never stop growing.
“I entire-hand promise you.” I whisper, pulling you into one of our most memorable kisses.
