I'm reading the "The Journals of Rupert Giles," which is a novelization of "Helpless," "New Man," and "Blood Ties" (and all three episodes happen to be about birthdays of Buffy's), and I just... it's giving me negative feelings about Buffy and Riley.
And I'm going to sound like a broken record here, I know, because I'm going to be echoing things the fandom has said numerous times (and for good reason), but here I go, anyway.
(Though I'd still like to note that I definitely don't hate Riley Finn as a character, and I don't hate him and Buffy together. That's a strong word, as I definitely think that Buffy had to go through that sort of a normal relationship in that part of her arc.)
But first of all, at least in this novelization here, Buffy is comparing Riley to Angel in her head (and you can tell, of course, that deep down she wants to be with Angel, even though she can't) even more than we thought she was. And even at the start of her and Riley's relationship, when things were probably their best. And that's just sad and makes me feel for my girl, of course.
Though that's not what really gets me. What really gets me is from the get-go just how much Buffy is worrying that Riley is going to be offended that she's stronger than him, or whatever. And that she's making herself lesser to try and please him (like when she holds back when they're sparring. Though, to be fair, she may have had to, since he's a human and she's the Slayer). But she's just constantly worrying about how things are going to go over with him, and how he's going to feel about who she is. And, I mean, we saw this in the show. But there's even more of it when we're in her headspace.
And it's just a complete contrast to when Buffy and Angel spar in "Helpless," where he's "completely down with her being her bad self" (something like that is pretty much an exact quote from the book). And Buffy is so relieved that she can completely let loose with him, unlike most anyone else. (And, again, I know Buffy probably couldn't do this with Riley for his own safety, so it's probably unfair to judge that.) But "Angel is as graceful in defeat as he is in victory" (another quote from the book), and is glad when she wins their sparring matches, because: you know: It means that a vamp or any other beast from Hell probably won't get the drop on her? Meanwhile, when Buffy wins against Riley, he's telling Buffy to give him a few weeks and he can probably take her. Gah!
