THIS IS NOTHING

Leonie // It’s not the world that’s cruel. It’s the people in it -tfc

[dogsdayilya]

Loyalty (1869)

— by Briton Rivière

Loyalty (2025)

— by Ilya Rozanov

[deedala]

is this a jeep?

[juicegremlin]

andrew minyard never skips therapy. his best friend is a born-again knife-wielding christian ex-gangster. his other best friend is a 6'2" lacrossehockey prodigy/recovering alcoholic with a face tattoo. he doesn't smile. his situationship got him to stop doing drugs by buying him a maserati. he didn't meet his own twin brother until they were fifteen years old. he's been to jail. he is five feet even. he's the best goalie in the league and he couldn't care less. he gets in the shower fully clothed to give neil josten a blowjob. he's a chainsmoking pro athlete. he killed his own mother. he's getting a criminal justice degree as a joke. he picked the guy with a dozen fake names and a mafioso daddy to be with forever. he's a scorpio. the closest thing he's ever had to a father is his college exy coach. he loves hot chocolate and ice cream and clubbing with his cousin.

andrew minyard character of all time.

[lucylehane]

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[madrasaur]

yes hockey IS that serious

[aymmidumps]

let him ride the totally-not-generic-maserati-i-found-on-google

[lesbianlandry]

bitchy shane i would die for you

[myshangel]

instances of shane, the worlds most jock, calling ilya baby:

“Baby, what time is it?”

“Huh? Hold on, baby, I can’t hear you. Fuck, it’s loud in here.”

“Fuck, Ilya, yes, like that, baby, just like that, fuck—“

“Ilya, what’s— Are you crying? What’s wrong, baby, it’s okay, it’s— What’s wrong? Please, tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Fuckin’ A, Rozanov! Yes, baby! Fuck, that was a good one. C’mere.”

“Mm, baby, your feet are cold. Ah! Ilya, get your cold fucking feet off me. Put some socks on. Jesus.”

“Hold on, I’ll ask him— Baby, my mom wants to know if steak is good for dinner?”

“Your hair is so fluffy today. No, no, come back, let me— Yes. Thank you, baby.”

“Ilyusha. My baby. Ilyusha. You’re so pretty. Don’t laugh! I’m being serious!”

“You’re gonna have to skate better than that to beat me in the scoring race, baby, I’m locked in this season.”

“Fuck, baby, you’re burning up. No, asshole, I mean you’re sick. You can’t go to practice like this, don’t be fucking stupid.”

“Uh, just a beer, please. Thank you, baby, that’s perfect.”

“Ilya, baby, you want a pretzel?”

“Hi, baby. You looked good out there, that goal was fuckin’ insane.”

[penandinkprincess]

i do love and respect the idea of the world at large being stunned at finding out how long ilya and shane have been together, but i truly think that under NO circumstances would shane ever choose to offer ANY personal details about himself or their relationship willingly.

which combined with ilya loving just making things up and saying them (as seen in the "yes, the rumors are true-" scene) offers the very funny idea that ilya actively tries to offer as much privacy as possible by just throwing out stories about them at random so there IS no central story for people to hound shane about.

assorted backstories a la "ilya just started talking and found out with everyone else where he was going with this":

they got snowed in at all stars one year (b-but wasn't that year in florida?) and decided there was nothing better to do

it started as a bit and neither is willing to give up first

they paired off to combine forces like nato

they paired off to limit how many kids they could have in the future to make sure hockey stayed fair

ilya lost a bet six years ago

shane lost a bet three years ago

ilya got tired of remembering phone numbers for his hookups and shane's is easy

ilya got tired of having to look things up in english and french when talking to other people and decide to marry someone who speaks two languages to save time

shane is gifted enough (wink wink wink) that other people are cowards and only ilya was brave enough to rise to the challenge (this one gets him in trouble on the phone later but it also gets him laid that night at home and also confuses the online speculation about who tops and bottoms, so net positive tbh)

yuna hollander is the best manager in the business and a political marriage was the best way to secure her services longterm

with the end result that all shane has to do is shrug and "my husband has already told our story a thousand times by this point. no point in repeating it and boring people." in interviews to get out of people trying to dig into things he doesn't want to tell them.

[perlukafarinn]

There are times when Shane will look at Ilya and his heart will feel so full he's sure it will break. He'll be so overwhelmed by his love for Ilya, his body consumed by it like fire licking at him down to his bones, and he'll know it's impossible but in these moments all he can think is no one else has felt love like this before. No one else knows what it's like.

Shane will tell Ilya this, knowing full well how deranged it sounds, but Ilya will just smile and kiss him and say, "Yes, we are the best. Best at hockey, best at love."

And Shane will laugh and tell him, "Shut up," but he'll kiss Ilya back and pull him on top of him so Ilya's body will be blanketing his, the weight of him the only thing keeping Shane from flying apart.

[ryliversbuddie]

bonus:

[jewelcoatfish]

sleepy ilya blinking at shane asking “what time?” in russian and shane replying “7” in russian because ilya sometimes can only remember to speak russian when he’s barely awake

so sometimes they speak russian for the first fifteen minutes of waking up, ilya asking short questions and shane giving short answers. ilya doesnt stress about having to translate in his brain when he’s barely awake, and shane’s just so happy hearing ilya’s sleepy russian.

[noahreids]

Connor Storrie x Hudson Williams x Met Gala 2026

[ramslambsandwolves-deactivated2]

Is Shane a slut? Absolutely. But he’s a jock and a slut and it’s important to remember both.

His lingerie is jock straps and athletic socks. He likes when his boyfriend is sweaty and kinda reeks after a hard workout. He likes sex that feels like a brutal gym session, riding Ilya until his thighs burn and pushing past it cause he’s fucking strong enough to do so. His porn searches are gym shower cruising, locker room gangbangs, frat bros in circle jerks. He gets turned on watching rugby, football, hockey, anything where men crash and bleed. He likes when he can see Ilya’s red mouth on tv, gets fucking dizzy with want if he’s on the ice to see it. Shane loves when morning warmups turn into foreplay, when his captain, pushes and pushes him like he does at night, making him run another drill and it feels like when Ilya is forcing an impossible 4th orgasm from him. If he was on Grindr his profile would say masc-for-masc / gym rat wanted. Ilya knows if he needs to butter up his boyfriend, he spends a few minutes doing push-ups, makes sure his biceps and pecs are bulging a bit before he strolls into Shane’s office (he’s asking for a PlayStation he can 100% afford but watching Shane say yes to anything cause there’s no blood traveling to his brain is much better than swiping his own card). Yeah Ilya has to remind Shane his eyes are up here when his gym tank is a little too low and Shane has comprehended 0% of what Ilya was saying. Shane gets a half chub when he wins games, is inconsolably horny when they destroy another team (3 point winning lead? Yeah Ilya knows he’s getting a late time ft call, gets to stroke Shane’s ego in a way he won’t allow publicly ; “cant believe I’m so lucky, get to have the best player in the league.”)

[smokingrozanov]

Also while I’m thinking about Shane in high school I think there was a guy he sat next to in bio who was emo/scene & Shane was so fascinated by him & he didn’t know why. He thought it was just because they lived such different lives. Years later he’s like ohhhh. It’s because he had a tongue ring

[logeeka23]

[bilosan]

Sometimes the story just kind of tells itself. - Tim Minear