From around 3am until daylight, the hours I refer to as “the crazy hours.” The hours where I am either struggling to fall asleep for the first time still yet, struggling to get back to sleep after waking multiple times throughout the night, or I am wide awake and struggling to contain myself as I make unrealistic and grandiose plans for my day.
These are the sleep disruptions of PTSD, depression and chronic pain. This is the life I live. Those few hours where I struggle to feel like a “normal” human being, regardless of which direction that may take me in that moment. There is no middle ground, there is no sense of balance. No matter what combination of medications or therapies have been tried, my sleep disruptions remain.
So I’m constantly living with some weird form of sleep deprivation; the resulting mood swings or attention span issues from loss of sleep - to only aggravate my previously existing conditions that contributes to my loss of sleep.
Am I the only one who finds that cycle completely redundant and exhausting?
