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Today's Document

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Help Everyone Find A Job In Their Field
Money cat can only do so much
This may help someone
#andy samberg and Other Things That Ruined My Life: An Autobiography by vdhars
idk about y’all but I think it’s pretty terrifying having to personally hear bisexuals in offline spaces express being practically shamed out of openly identifying as bisexual because they’ve internalized the belief that bisexuality is not inclusive of trans/nb ppl and if that doesn’t hit home for you how dangerous misinformation and ahistorical takes are in the current state of LGBT activism then I honestly don’t have much else to say.
#im gonna leave this in the tags bcus i think this post should stay about bisexuals #but i have heard so many gay ppl (ESPECIALLY lesbians) have the same experiences #of feeling the need to not be openly just gay because it’s not inclusive enough #and im starting 2 hear of more n more binary trans ppl say that they felt they were not being progressive for fitting within a binary #and just like. so much of online lgbt spaces are just like #oh yeah we love lgbt people except for the l the g the b and the t part #which like. is what some of us have been saying about reckless inclusion for eyars #but anyways continue (via: katie-gets-problematic)
I know I made this post about bisexuality specifically but the thing is… you’re also right lol and I don’t think this response should hide in the tags. I made another reblog from this OP but I’m gonna sort of reiterate that here and straight up say that the postmodern movement esp online LGBT activism has done more harm than good. I think we’re doing too much pussyfooting around real intracommunity discussions and being worried about everyone feeling “valid” instead of interrogating real, tangible problems like the ones being brought up here. By not wanting to like, hurt anyones feelings I guess, we ended up creating spaces that are wholly unsafe for the majority of the community.
No one should have to hide themselves in a space where we’re supposed to feel safe, and real concerns shouldn’t be met with accusations of bigotry and oppression (which, trust me, that’s occurred many times), but that’s what’s happening here. And it’s unfair and straight up dangerous that the reckless inclusion is essentially driving so many people back into the closet.
“I think we’re doing too much pussyfooting around real intracommunity discussions and being worried about everyone feeling “valid” instead of interrogating real, tangible problems”
This is so fucking important and well worded…. Bisexuals online and offline have been struggling to call out biphobia because as soon as you say something like “stop portraying bisexuals as shallow apolitical sex obsessed deviants” people will come out of the woodwork to say “but that’s what bisexuality is! why are you oppressing [neolabel]” and any criticism of biphobia, homophobia and transphobia can just be dismissed by calling it “[neolabel] exclusionism” or “[neolabel]phobia” and i think a lot about how this mentality of “every sexuality is valid” has created an environment where you can be as LGBT-phobic as you like and you’re untouchable because you’ve created a flag for your LGBT-phobia and called it a sexuality
I don’t usually do posts like this BUT
Reblog if you’re a transmed and you hate transmeds who are transphobic toward gnc trans people and want them the fuck away from the transmed community
if ur a transmed and ur mean to gnc trans people i want you to yeehaw out of the solar system
pan/poly/omnisexual aren’t real you’re just biphobic
Aces were around at the time of the riots.. also in modern day they’re in other countries fighting for rights of gay people..
Have you mayhaps heard of the term “allies”
‘you werent in the riots!’
‘yes we were’
‘you werent there for the right reasons’
god did you stretch before that reach?
What the fuck are you talking about
when exclusies realize aspec people were involved, something that ive heard people state as the reason theyre exclusionists, then suddenly ‘they were there, but actually i know they’re just allies’
There were also cis heteroromantic heterosexuals that have fought/advocated for LGBT rights as allies, that does not make them LGBT.
Also like. What did the cishet aces supposedly riot for in the name of ace rights then? What systematic oppression did they have to overcome? What laws are/were in place against cishet aces?
???
systematic, alright. medical abuse for being ace. social oppression, like the widespread issue of being abused for being ace.
while being abused by law loopholes, we also aren’t included in the vast majority of equality acts.
43.5% of asexual people are sexually abused.
some jurisdictions require consummmation or the marriage can be voided.
aces cannot get a driving license in russia.
need more proof? i have more.
Ok, wow, there is a lot to unpack here. Half of these claims are incredibly vague, full of misinformation, and you didn’t provide even a single source.
“Medical abuse for being ace” I don’t know what you’re referring to here, so I’m going to have to go off of other misinformation I’ve seen in the past. If you’re going for the “Asexuality is classified as a disorder by the DSM!” argument, then you’re wrong. HSDD is a legitimate disorder and is not the same as asexuality, and this is explicitly acknowledged in the DSM-5.
If you’re going for the “psychiatrists will fuck with your meds if you tell them you’re asexual!” argument, you’re still wrong. Doctors are not stupid, they know the difference between libido and sexual orientation. Libido is something that can be affected by meds, especially antidepressants. When you’re being prescribed medication, they’re going to warn you of its common side effects, and after you begin taking it they’ll check in with you to see how it’s working and whether or not you are experiencing negative side effects. If you’re experiencing side effects that are dangerous, for example prolonged diarrhea, dizziness, blurred vision, etc, they are probably going to adjust your dosage or find a different med for you. However, with side effects that aren’t inherently bad such as slight weight gain, increased energy, or in this case, decreased libido/decreased interest in sex, your psychiatrist isn’t going to switch up your antidepressants unless you express distress over it. In other words, if you tell your psychiatrist that you are not bothered by your meds lowering your libido, they’re not going to tear your meds away in order to make you horny again. This false notion that doctors are out to cure asexuality is just scaremongering.
(Disclaimer: yes, medical malpractice is a thing. If your doctor truly, actually messes with your meds solely because you tell them you’re asexual, report it. But this scenario is an extreme example. There is no epidemic of “doctors trying to make people horny by any means possible”)
“Widespread issue of being abused for being ace” I have absolutely no idea where you got this info because again, you didn’t provide any sources. I’d also like to see a source for “43.5% of asexual people are sexually abused.” And then I want to ask you: in those sources, what percentage of the victims are women? How many of the cases were actually due to aphobia as opposed to rape culture or misogyny? Are the statistics presented in a way that is misleading? Where did the data come from? I don’t have much to work with with these vague, unsourced claims.
“While being abused by law loopholes, [aces] aren’t included in the vast majority of equality acts.” I feel like a broken record already but WHERE are the sources? Where is the evidence that there is some widespread issue of people being denied jobs, housing, etc because they’re asexual? Where are the laws against asexuality? Where does the systematic oppression kick in? Did I miss the part where equality acts are worded as “protection against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, EXCEPT those horrible asexuals, they can choke”?
“Some jurisdictions require consummation or the marriage can be voided” I’ll actually provide a source on this because it’s interesting. But in regards to “this is an example of aphobia” argument, there are a few issues. 1) The court is not going to follow you after you marriage to make sure you fuck, so 2) the only reason the fact that you and your partner didn’t consummate your marriage would become legally relevant is if you and/or your partner brought it to court as a reason to get an annulment/divorce. 3) Bringing in asexuality, if your partner expected that the two of you would have sex when you’re married but you never explained to your partner that you’re asexual, OR you did explain to your partner that you’re asexual and they expected sex anyway, and they use “we didn’t consummate the marriage” as a reason to separate, then the issue lies entirely with the fact that you and your partner have incompatible sexual needs, isn’t it?
“Aces can not get driver’s licenses in Russia” You straight up do not understand the law that was passed. In 2015, Russia banned people with certain physical disabilities (such as blindness and epilepsy) and people who “suffer from disorders of sexual preference” from getting driver’s licenses. This included people with sexual fetishes, voyeurs, paedophiles, pathological gamblers, sadomasochists, kleptomaniacs, people shorter than 4’11, amputees, and “transsexuals, transgenders, and transvestites.” Not anywhere, in any source I could find, was there any mention of asexuality being included in that list. Not even HSDD was included. So no, the law had nothing to do with aphobia, but it did have EVERYTHING to do with TRANSPHOBIA!
Stop spreading misinformation and blatant scaremongering.
damn you fucking killed them
aces want to be oppressed so fucking badly that they’ll not only hijack transphobic laws to make them about aceys (when they absolutely aren’t), and pull percentages right out of their asses
Exactly my thoughts.
You can’t tell me that I’m overreacting when I say all this inclusion of everything under the sun is pushing actual lgbt people to the side.
This is so fucking stupid…
So since I have a lot of free time at work and I’m tired of searching for a thousand posts to quote during discourse I put together three documents about bisexuality and bisexual discourse.
Defining bisexuality (a collection of definition of bisexuality by various bisexual activists and associations)
The Cultural Impact of Pansexuality (a collection of statements about pansexuality made by pansexuals or mainstream media outlets/celebrities like Marie Claire, Teen Vogue, the Rolling Stone and Miley Cyrus, among others)
Statistics and studies about bisexual-specific issues (a collection of studies about the issues that bisexuals face)
Like I said above, 99% of the material in these documents was taken from various tumblr posts, mostly by users verilybitchie, cowardly-bisexual, violettomcat and others that I honestly cannot remember (sorry!)
A special shoutout (lol it feels so corny to say that) goes to @bisexualiteaparty, who unknowningly gave me the idea for this, and her BisexualiTea (check it out, it has all I have put in the first two documents + a part about Butch and Femme identities)
IMPORTANT NOTE: these documents are an ongoing project, meaning that they will be constantly updated with relevant material. If you have some more material that I can add feel free to send it to me and I’ll add it!
(also on PC looks a lot better than mobile, sorry)
EDIT: NOW IN A CARRD FORMAT!
EDIT 2: I choose to give another name to the third doc to make it more accurate.
gay is meant to be used by homo/lesbian people but bi/pan people use it to describe themselves anyway so i think that aro/ace people should do it too!
no
no
no 💚
no
yea 💙 (no btw)
i wanna make this really really clear: i do not care at all when someone calls me an acephobe.
comparisons matter. history matters. my grief and rage at the senseless waste of human life that is the United State’s response to the AIDS pandemic matters.
i don’t know if you’ve ever talked to long-term survivors, but i have, and i’ve talked to the gay men and women who lived through the beginning of the crisis. they say it was like a horror movie. everyone was dying. handsome strong men, men who were powerfully alive, men who were only 27, 23, 18 years old, friends and lovers and acquaintances and strangers–
just vanished. wasted away before your eyes.
my friend tells me a story about when she was born. her mom was living in the gay ghetto of san diego, and the four men in the apartments above, two couples, were all HIV+. one of the men came to visit, and my friend’s mom asked if he would like to hold the baby. he burst into tears. “i can’t believe you’d let me hold her,” he said, “people won’t even shake my hand.”
they’re all dead now. they died one after the other, and my friend’s mom eventually moved to los angeles.
when someone sees that history, stands in the face of it, and can manage to say, “but straight people who don’t fuck have it bad too!” i get a little enraged. when someone can say, “my mom jokes that i’m a plant,” and i say, “the United States wants me dead,” and they call me an acephobe– i get a little enraged.
this is the history of our community. it’s my history. and when you draw a comparison between a lack of visibility and genocide, you are spitting on a grave. thank god that you’ve never needed to bury your dead like we have.
i recently found out that a trans woman my age, who wrote a scintillating funny blog about sex and HIV and poverty, passed away from AIDS complications. i cried when i heard the news.
edit: this is OK to reblog
Seeing a lot of people bashing cis transmeds
Thought I’d share my brief story of an encounter with one of these folks in real life.
A cis transmed helped me through my questioning phase, while at the same time respecting any weird phases I went through. She challenged my beliefs and what I said respectfully, but didn’t push.
Ex.: one time I said, jokingly “gender is a social construct” (it was a weird time, okay?) and she responded “if gender was socially constructed, why do people transition?” That made me pause and think. Why was I (socially, at the time) transitioning if gender was fake?
She was, and still is, a true ally! Cis transmeds rock!
It’s June so I thought I’d put out a reminder that if you’re gay/lesbian and don’t think pride should be shared with:
- Transgender/Non-binary people (even het trans people)
-Ace/Aro/Aspec people (even het aces, or het aros)
-Multisexual people (Even if they’re partnered with a cishet person)
-People who identify specifically (or exclusively) as Queer
You Do Not Belong At Pride.
seems real woke to tell actual lgbt people that they don’t belong at pride because they don’t want to let cishets who don’t fuck into the community. it’s not a club - it’s not meant to be inclusive of everyone.
Lmao you’re right it’s not a club and you’re the one acting like it’s an exclusive club that only people with a membership approved by the ~ real LGBTs ~ can be there. That’s why you don’t belong. You’re the one treating it like a club and not a community made up of people facing oppression seeking support, acceptance and safety. By being there, you make that place unsafe, unsupportive and unaccepting to aspec people.
They do not experience same-sex attraction. Therefore, they are not het. So even if they’re cis, they experience the same forms of discrimination, oppression and alienation that the ~ real LGBTs ~ do.
Kindly stay the fuck away from pride until you can stop behaving the same way your REAL cishet oppressors do.
you can’t just tell a bisexual to stay away from pride because i don’t want cishets trying to get into the lgbt community. it’s about same-sex or multi-sex attraction, and if you experience dysphoria. asexuals not inherently neither. are they valid and deserve to not encounter judgment in life? absolutely! are they lgbt? no. aphobia =/= exclusionism. i will never stay away from pride and lgbt spaces, you don’t have the right to tell me to do so, and i am entitled to my opinion. have a nice day ❤️
Oh so you’re a truscum too.
Yeah you definitely don’t belong at pride.
My heart goes out to every trans person and ace person who comes within ten feet of you.
it’s clever to call pride inclusive and say that I’M the one excluding people when you’re trying to gatekeep lgbt people just because they don’t agree with your beliefs. anyone belongs at pride, even straight cis people, as long as they’re allies. but the lgbt community doesn’t extend to every single person. even though we have fundamentally different beliefs, i do wish you the best.
They aren’t “my beliefs”
Discrimination is not a matter of “beliefs”.
This is about the safety and security of LGBTQ people who face discrimination and alienation from within their own community. That’s what the original post was literally written for. A direct message to people who may THINK they’re exempt from lgbtq-phobia just because they too are LGBTQ, but aren’t actually exempt.
You’re right anyone belongs at pride. Anyone who is there to SUPPORT LGBTQ people.
You probably agree that cishet people who are openly lgbtq-phobic don’t belong there, right? People who are there to harass and harm lgbtq people don’t belong?
That’s you. Doesn’t matter if you’re bi. You’re one of the people who is there to withhold support from the very people pride is for.
You Do Not Belong At Pride until you unconditionally support and accept ALL LGBTQ PEOPLE.
That INCLUDES Ace people and Non-disphoric trans people, even if you, a rando bi person who has decided it is up to you who is and isn’t lgbtq, doesn’t find them queer enough.
And as a bi person myself, I find it unbelievable that another bi person, who belongs to the group most previously excluded from the community for not being queer enough, and for “trying to make the LGBTQ community a club even though it’s not meant to be for everyone” - is able to spout the same exclusionist rhetoric towards other LGBTQ people...
The lack of self-awareness...you’re like the seniors picking on the freshman even though you too were once a freshman being picked on for being one and believing whole-heartedly that once you’re a senior you’ll be different...or like an elder generation criticizing a younger generation for trivial differences even though their elders did the same to them and they hated it...
Embarrassing.
What I hope for you is to study up on your queer history and to stop falling for thinly-veiled TERF rhetoric on Tumblr.com that makes it so LGBTQ people are pitted against one another instead of united against the real oppressors.
i LITERALLY said cishet people can come to pride as long as they are allies. and i would never tell someone, AT PRIDE, that they don’t belong there. i would not harass and harm anyone regardless. and i FIRMLY believe that at pride, there is no discourse allowed. but i am absolutely entitled to my opinion. and i’m not a rando bi person saying they aren’t lgbt. a lot of people share exclusionist views, and i believe that they should keep their ideas to themself AT PRIDE. and it’s not an opinion that dysphoria is required to be trans (which, btw, means incongruence and includes euphoria) it’s a scientific fact supported by decades of research. anyways, i’m done with this conversation, i’ll continue to attend pride for as long as i live, and you, a 26yo, look pretty stupid arguing with a 15yo on tumblr dot com when you could be doing something in your adult life. nonetheless, i hope you have a good day and an absolutely great pride month.
It’s June so I thought I’d put out a reminder that if you’re gay/lesbian and don’t think pride should be shared with:
- Transgender/Non-binary people (even het trans people)
-Ace/Aro/Aspec people (even het aces, or het aros)
-Multisexual people (Even if they’re partnered with a cishet person)
-People who identify specifically (or exclusively) as Queer
You Do Not Belong At Pride.
seems real woke to tell actual lgbt people that they don’t belong at pride because they don’t want to let cishets who don’t fuck into the community. it’s not a club - it’s not meant to be inclusive of everyone.
Lmao you’re right it’s not a club and you’re the one acting like it’s an exclusive club that only people with a membership approved by the ~ real LGBTs ~ can be there. That’s why you don’t belong. You’re the one treating it like a club and not a community made up of people facing oppression seeking support, acceptance and safety. By being there, you make that place unsafe, unsupportive and unaccepting to aspec people.
They do not experience same-sex attraction. Therefore, they are not het. So even if they’re cis, they experience the same forms of discrimination, oppression and alienation that the ~ real LGBTs ~ do.
Kindly stay the fuck away from pride until you can stop behaving the same way your REAL cishet oppressors do.
you can’t just tell a bisexual to stay away from pride because i don’t want cishets trying to get into the lgbt community. it’s about same-sex or multi-sex attraction, and if you experience dysphoria. asexuals not inherently neither. are they valid and deserve to not encounter judgment in life? absolutely! are they lgbt? no. aphobia =/= exclusionism. i will never stay away from pride and lgbt spaces, you don’t have the right to tell me to do so, and i am entitled to my opinion. have a nice day ❤️
Oh so you’re a truscum too.
Yeah you definitely don’t belong at pride.
My heart goes out to every trans person and ace person who comes within ten feet of you.
it’s clever to call pride inclusive and say that I’M the one excluding people when you’re trying to gatekeep lgbt people just because they don’t agree with your beliefs. anyone belongs at pride, even straight cis people, as long as they’re allies. but the lgbt community doesn’t extend to every single person. even though we have fundamentally different beliefs, i do wish you the best.
It’s June so I thought I’d put out a reminder that if you’re gay/lesbian and don’t think pride should be shared with:
- Transgender/Non-binary people (even het trans people)
-Ace/Aro/Aspec people (even het aces, or het aros)
-Multisexual people (Even if they’re partnered with a cishet person)
-People who identify specifically (or exclusively) as Queer
You Do Not Belong At Pride.
seems real woke to tell actual lgbt people that they don’t belong at pride because they don’t want to let cishets who don’t fuck into the community. it’s not a club - it’s not meant to be inclusive of everyone.
Lmao you’re right it’s not a club and you’re the one acting like it’s an exclusive club that only people with a membership approved by the ~ real LGBTs ~ can be there. That’s why you don’t belong. You’re the one treating it like a club and not a community made up of people facing oppression seeking support, acceptance and safety. By being there, you make that place unsafe, unsupportive and unaccepting to aspec people.
They do not experience same-sex attraction. Therefore, they are not het. So even if they’re cis, they experience the same forms of discrimination, oppression and alienation that the ~ real LGBTs ~ do.
Kindly stay the fuck away from pride until you can stop behaving the same way your REAL cishet oppressors do.
you can’t just tell a bisexual to stay away from pride because i don’t want cishets trying to get into the lgbt community. it’s about same-sex or multi-sex attraction, and if you experience dysphoria. asexuals not inherently neither. are they valid and deserve to not encounter judgment in life? absolutely! are they lgbt? no. aphobia =/= exclusionism. i will never stay away from pride and lgbt spaces, you don’t have the right to tell me to do so, and i am entitled to my opinion. have a nice day ❤️
It’s June so I thought I’d put out a reminder that if you’re gay/lesbian and don’t think pride should be shared with:
- Transgender/Non-binary people (even het trans people)
-Ace/Aro/Aspec people (even het aces, or het aros)
-Multisexual people (Even if they’re partnered with a cishet person)
-People who identify specifically (or exclusively) as Queer
You Do Not Belong At Pride.
seems real woke to tell actual lgbt people that they don’t belong at pride because they don’t want to let cishets who don’t fuck into the community. it’s not a club - it’s not meant to be inclusive of everyone.
I’m always looking for discourse blogs to follow,
exclusionists rb this and I’ll follow you *
*offer does not apply to terfs or truscum