Kakuzu grabbed his titty and instantly went "ugh this pain... it must be Hidan'" not a second for second guessing or wondering if Kakashi and team 10 pulled some long range plot-armor-no-jutsu no dude just knew
That's body talking. Kakuzu's body remembers very vividly how it feels to have heart pierced by Hidan's curse. In other words they've regularly used it when fucking, thanks for coming to my TED talk
Steve and Bucky are together, Bucky falls of the train
Steve has a couple days/nights with Peggy
Steve get frozen then unfrozen
Tony and Steve get together
Tony and Steve weird limbo when he goes after Bucky
Tony tries to kill Bucky, Steve stuck between two lovers
Bucky and Sam meet
Thanos happens
Steve goes back in time gets back with Peggy
Tony dies
Bucky and Sam get together
but make it spanish soap opera levels of dramatic in-between the slightly based upon cannon (bouns is its omgeaverse O!tony, A!steve O!bucky B!peggy B!Sam)
Tw: mentions of sex, death and negitive treatment of sex workers/ forced prostitution (if you think about it)
Logan does often sleep. His vessel needs it. Wade doesn't need it but hes obsessed with napping in Logans bed.
It conviences both of their brains they're more then just casual and hook ups. But something more. Because even demons dreams about a semi settled life.
They physically sleep together, cuddle, share a singular bed, share a room, kiss all the time, and shower together. But (most days) this is stuff that happens before or after at least a quick blow job/rub/ or hump session.
It used to only be bjs but Logan actually, lovingly and passionately fucks him towards the end and this is when Wade decides to stay forever.
Wade "what do you mean you wanna keep the lights ON for sex and want to strip me and kiss my body??" Wilson
And yeah, logan calls him mouth. For verious reasons. In which wade IS the blowjob queen.
Logan thinks "feeding him just to keep him alive" is the most ethical thing (at the start) so like clock work once every 5 days he'd let Wade suck the shit out of him.
Ngl, logan kinda likes watching him so desperatly swallow it all- hes a bit selfish and greedy for an angel... though maybe thats why wade likes him.
Logan is definitely still gruff wife beater and jeans guy (but goes to church in button ups and ties) who still smokes his cigars and enjoys reading.
Sometimes, since wade cant touch the bible, logan reads it to him.
Logans spent so long on earth that he genuienly forgets hes an angel sometimes. Guy is like "ugh food is so expensive" and Wades like "You dont have to eat idiot."
Logan often forgets that he has a flaming sword and actually lost it at one point in time. Thats how he Met Kurt actually, because he asked Kurt for his sword back (that cloaks itself as a regular sword unless wielded by a winged angel, but logan never shows Kurt his wings. It would blow his cover)
Wade definitely has empathy- AND REJECTION SENSITIVITY
So TECHNICALLY wade can be fed by Logan just teasing him and telling him sexy things, rubbing his thigh and whispering how sexy he is, but this is more of a snack and logan would have to do it daily, while a good sized Load can feed him for a solid 4-5 days (but this is the bare minimum, Wade would gladly take a load daily, it would probably finally put some weight on him actually. Wade is very thin because of how unsucessful he is in finding prey that will sleep with him)
This is what people dont understand, though. They think they're just sexy monsters who want to take your soul (maybe idk), but Wade is genuinely caring and empathetic and very much capable of love.
It's not his fault he needs sex and to seduce people to survive, but Hell KNEW he was a burn victim, assumed he was on the playboy bus and decided to "Make him beg for it" for eternity, just like all the other girls on that bus (Succubai are originally female and can change their sex how ever they please- do what you will with this information COUGH trans wade COUGH)
Hell KNEW hed struggle to survive and still did it simply because they thought he was a sex worker. But Wade wasn't, he was a merc just trying to buy groceries when hit by a damn bus.
The bus hitting him isnt what killed him. It was the fire and explosion that happened afterwards. He was trapped underneath of the bus when it caught fire and blew up. He was screaming for help, sobbing and begging for anyones attention to the fact he was still alive.
What's even more not fair is that most of the girls died on impact to the brick wall rather then the fire or explosion so they are still very pretty and can manage a good amount of prey.
Aka, Wade got fucked (not literally unfortunately) just for being a bystander.
Yeah, hes killed people but he's heavily mentally ill and needed to find a way to put food on the table some how. Even if that way is by killing for money.
Oh and yes, Wade still has nightmares about how he died. Especially if Logan is laying on top of him, Wade dreams hes trapped under the bus, on fire, screaming for help and crying.. the thing about crying while on fire is though your tear ducts get burnt closed.
So now when ever he cries, it's not tears. More like blood.
So he will literally wake up to blood with a dash of tears on his face and it hurts to remember. This mans phantom pain is torture alone, let alone having to grovel at peoples feet to please fuck him or else he'll die..
Logan will kiss and hold him close, "its okay. Im sorry. Im so sorry. I didnt mean to squish you, i promise. Youre alright. I got you."
And yes, Logan is afraid of water. Not in the sense of showering but if wade asks him to take a bath with him he will shy away, he also dosnt like pools or the ocean, lakes or even ponds. He dosn't like water. Period. It reminds him of his death (and his wings get all soaked and puffy frim humidity)
Funfact: Both can become tiny. Imagine tiny Crowley.
Wade is 6'2 and becomes 6 inches. When hes tiny he's invisible to the naked eye and he chooses who can see him. This is how its so easy to be on kurts shoulder without getting caught. But logan cant be tiny unless he has his halo on, and thats a no no if hes having sex. So no tiny sex for them, but this does not stop wade from trying.
Sometimes he rides around on logan if Hes bored or clingy, but most times it goes like this.
Teeny wade: *spreads legs* Put it in me!
Logan, who can barley hear him: What??
Wade: IN!
Logan: WHAT!? NO!! That is not gonna fit you stupid idiot
Wade: hmmm.. youre right. What if i hump it? My big giant bean stalk! Gonna milk this cow too!
Logan: ... Im leaving... *walks away*
Wade: *sighs* Angels are so vanilla. Dont even wanna kill me with his cock <:/ does he even love me then??
Logan, from across the room: DUDE. YOU. WILL. DIE!!! It-its literally bigger then you!!
Wade: I know!! Thats the fun!
(Quick reminder that wade does not have a healing factor- hes insane.)
Technecally- Wade can eat logans ass and still be fed. Any sort of sexual desire or pleasure kinda makes him fed so this opens lots of new things. Hell- Logan can savagely dry hump him for 20 minutes and it would be enough for the day. This being said Logan dosnt have a refractoary period (angel stuff) so if he really wanted to be kind, he could give Wade multiple loads and have him fed for a month. Wade would still be hungry but not as much, seeing as if Logan wanted to feed him properly they'd have to have sex at least once a day, if not more for Wade to be fully taken care of meal wise.
OH! I dont think I mentioned this before either but they all live in the ministry together. So yes, there literally is a demon living in the church. With his angel lover.
Logan: This place is full of priests so dont do anything. Be on your best behaviour.
Wade @ the humans cause he knows Logan wont let them actually do anything to him:
Logan just walks in to see Wade twerking on the bed and the oldest of the fathers is like "Repent! Begone! Get off my bed you fowl fiend!!"
Logan: đŽâđ¨đ¤Śââď¸
Imagine kurt comes over knocking on the door and is about to go on a date with Logan, and Logan tries not to moan while calling out "h-hold on! Im feeding my- EERR m-mY PET!" and ofc this only makes Wade deep throat him better with a purr and a tail wag cause YEAH. He is kinda feeding his pet aint he?
But NOW they have to get a pet or else itll blow logans cover so they get mary puppins, who is also an angel who unironically wont stop barking at them when theyre fuckin cause she thinks theyre fighting or something.
Along with their tiny forms, they have their true forms:
Logan: A big feathery fuck who you should INFACT be afraid of. Wade thinks hes gorgeous and really wishes he could fuck eyeballs but is aware of how much that would hurt.
Wade: Wade is very... curly from mouth washing in his true form. He dosn't like it. He has no lips or nose or ears, his eye sockets are engorged, his eyelids are practically gone, hes bleeding everywhere, mushy soft, in pain, crunchy and gummy-fied.
His earth form is much more healed looking and hurts less, but still does, to make himself feel better and more pretty, wade will paint hearts on his skin, giving himslef heart nipples, a belly button, and will paint on a happy trail of hearts. He has them on his shoulder, his forehead, hips, cheeks and tail, his legs and if he really thinks he looks ugly today, he'll draw them on his hands and ask Logan to paint them on his back too.
Wade has an extremely long tail, no its not as strong as kurts so he cant hang from it but he can hold coffee cups and jack someone off with it with ease.
Wade is also very thin and lean. His muscles on his arms are small, his calfs are barley there, his ass is there yeah, but two of his lower ribs are showing. (He has the sluttiest waste ever man)
Wade also has horns (blowjob handles!) Sharp teeth, dark fingers, ankles, toes, he has sharp ass claw feet, two large talons and one small one in the middle like a raptor. He also has claws on his fingers that he sometimes scratches logans back with but angel blood burns him (it hurts a lot) so they try not to do so much blood play in this au.
Logan also does not have claws in the sense of it comes out of his arm, but he does have nails. He also looks like a tired youth pastor whos lowkey about to leave the church if they make him tell little kids about abstinence one more time. Or a camp counceler whos TIRED of everyone's shit and just in general.... for.. obvious reasons..
Something something I really love my bed, but, man, it's hard to sleep when he's with me Olivia Rodrigo đŠđ
When Geralt brings Selkie Jaskier to Kaer Morhen for the winter, Jaskier is thrilled. However, there's one small issue: neither Geralt nor Jaskier mentioned to the other witchers that Jaskier is a selkie.
Throughout the winter, the witchers keep spotting a seal wandering around the keep at odd times. They draw one inevitable conclusion:
Geralt knows the marriage is necessary to ratify the treaty, but that doesnât mean he has to be happy about it.
Itâs not that heâs against marriage in general or has anything against his new husbandâJulian seems lovely. And thatâs the real issue isnât it? This lovely man has been pressured into a marriage with a witcher. Even though Geralt was accepted as a warlord, people still considered witchers more beast than man.
His new husband is probably terrified or disgusted with him.
At the very least, Geralt knows the other man is nervous. He can smell it in his scent, hear it in his heartbeat.
When they enter the wedding suite, Geralt says, âIâll sleep on the floor.â
âPardon?â
âWe donât have to do anything. Iâll sleep on the floor.â
Out of all possible reactions to his offer, Geralt hadnât expected anger.
Julian seethes, saying, âAre you FUCKING kidding me?!? Do you know how fucking long it took to get into these clothes? How long it took them to paint my face? It takes HOURS to look this divine, and do I get any appreciation? No! The least you could do is tell me Iâm pretty and fuck me like you mean it!â
Geralt blinked, completely stunned. He stared at Julianâno, Jaskierâas the man planted his hands on his hips and glared at him with enough fire to melt silver. For a long, awkward moment, Geralt could only process one thing: Jaskier did look divine.
His doublet, an elaborate creation in deep blue and gold hues, shimmered in the candlelight. His makeupâa touch of gold on his eyelids and the faintest hint of rouge on his cheeksâmade him seem otherworldly, like some naughty fey prince. And his lips, painted the colour of ripe cherries, were currently pursed in absolute fury.
âYouââ Geralt started, then faltered. His voice sounded rougher than he intended, so he cleared his throat. âYou lookâvery nice?â
Jaskier groaned and threw his head back like a man the universe had deeply wronged. âVery nice? Very nice?! I didnât spend all afternoon enduring the indignities of corsetry and the horrors of powder puff brushes to be called very nice.â
âIâuhâapologize?â Geralt mumbled
âOh, donât apologize, you big lummox!â Jaskier snapped, stepping closer and pointing an accusatory finger at Geraltâs chest. âI donât want your apologies. I want your appreciation. I want you to look at me and see more than just the treaty we signed this morning. I want you to see me, the absolute vision of beauty that I am, and understand that I deserve at least a modicum of effort!â
Geralt blinked again, utterly lost. âI donât⌠know what to say.â
Jaskier sighed dramatically and threw himself onto the edge of the bed, arms splayed wide. âSay, âJulian, you are the most enchanting creature I have ever seen in my long, miserable life.â Say, âJulian, your beauty eclipses the stars.â Say, âJulian, I would crawl through fire just to kiss your perfect lips.â Is that so hard?â
Jasker is a dragon, sure. But he prefers his human form. He prefers pretty clothing and lutes over his scales and wings.
He hasn't a hoard yet. He thinks. He's never truly cared for gold, though he knows that not all dragons have hoards of gold. That's just the default. What if he did have a hoard, and it just wasn't some boring old gold pieces?
At first he thought his hoard must be his many exuberant outfits, but when he got into a scuffle and one outfit was ruined, he was disappointed but that was it. There was no anguish, no mourning, no big depressive meltdown over it's destruction... So probably not a hoard. Just an interest.
He then thought it must be his songs. But when he heard a bard in some town playing one of his songs, he didn't erupt into scales and roars. He didn't burn down a city. He didn't even rip out his hair or anything. He wasn't even mad. He thinks you'd be more possessive and jealous over a hoard. He was mostly proud. The bard said it was a song he didn't write, he said it was by Jaskier, and he sang it quite well. But even if he didn't do any of those things, Jaskier would be mad, sure, maybe even mad, but never MAD.
He thought of lovers being his hoard, but the thought went away very quickly. None of his lovers stay, and though it stings sometimes, he thinks he'd be flinging himself off a cliff if a treasure of his hoard literally got up and walked away from him.
And then one day he meets a Witcher. The witcher looks at him with these piercing golden eyes, and Jaskier feels an audible shift in his soul, his being. He found it. His treasure. Maybe witchers are his hoard, and Geralt is just his first one. Maybe his hoard is just friends he meets. He doesn't know, all he knows is that he can't stop himself from staring at the gold of Geralt's eyes.
Perhaps Jaskier does care for gold.
Logan being into Wade all quiet like and his pining ass having successfully navigated the Wade/Vanessa dynamic so far and everything is good now about a month into him living with Al and Wade when Cable shows up
"Old man with metal limbs and a sad-ass backstory" Cable
"I casually put on chapstick while staring into your eyes as i tell you that you remind me of my dead wife" Cable
"Theres a knife in your dick" Cable
"I use my one shot to get home on saving your life" Cable
they should legalize polyamory. everywhere. and im not kidding at all. if someone wants to marry multiple people they should be allowed to. for any reason.
before anybody tries to say some bullshit about this, extending the definition of marriage to include multiple people would give members of religions forced into abusive polygamy the same rights any divorcing spouse would have without putting them at risk for being charged with bigamy. this would make it easier for people to leave abusive plural marriages.