Space

Space. Earth. Human. It is a disease. We are the fearless.

[wadefeltonism-deactivated202106]

rb if you’d wipe all pedophiles off this earth

[mohawkmama]

It’s sad that there are only 13k notes on this..m

[thiccdaddy-mbaku]

put this on all 3 of my blogs

[space-is-a-disease]

Aliens: So this is one of the most consumed beverages?

Human: Yep.

Alien: Why?

Human: something something British empire, something something China, something something health, something something money.

Alien: I though we were speaking English...

[scientificphilosopher]

It wrinkles my brain that Jupiter’s moon Europa has oceans that are sixty miles deep, while Earth’s oceans only reach seven miles deep at most. I’m willing to bet good money that there’s life in Europa’s oceans. Like five bucks. You hear me, NASA? I bet you five bucks that there’s life on Europa… Now that there’s money and reputation on the line, I bet they send a mission there real quick.

[curiousobsession101]

I have no idea when this was originally posted, but NASA is working on their Europa mission RIGHT NOW to look for alien life! But get this, they theorize that because of the depth, gravity, and composition of the oceans, any organisms that lived there would be waaay bigger than aquatic life on Earth. So far everything’s going well with regards to their Europa mission so they should have a spacecraft on its way to look for giant sea monsters in space in only a few years. (The planned date is in the early 2020s.)

[scientificphilosopher]

Looks like my negotiations worked. You’re welcome, humanity.

[libraryspectre]

I’ve never been gripped with such cold terror and pure delight in my LIFE

[saucefactory-deactivated2019103]

This is it. This is everything I’ve dreamed of and ached for all my life. Giant alien sea-creatures are everything. Everything.

[csvidaldraws]

Ok, so I love many, many of the #HumansAreWeird and #EarthIsSpaceAustralia headcanons, but you cannot change my mind that the most hilarious possibility is that aliens would be overwhelmingly accepting of death happening at any time and for any reason outside of intended violence, and thus have no drive to try and expand their life spans, and even their advanced medicine was made to be mostly palliative. Human: Hi, I’m here to fill in for John. He came down with a case of appendicitis yesterday. …that’s when one of our inner organs that is useless at this point in evolution suddenly becomes infected and needs to be taken out. Alien #1: Humans can shed a malfunctioning inner organ at will? Alien #2: Impressive. I must have missed it when I read that Human Biology book. Human: Ah, no. You need to go to the hospital and the doctors will use chemicals to make you sleep, and then they can cut you open to extract the organ and sew you back up. Aliens: What. Human: Oh, don’t worry! It’s a fairly common procedure. John should be back and healthy in a few days. Aliens: … Aliens: What.

[space-is-a-disease]

Guys what if instead of Aliens being confused about normal human stuff, they’re like the ultimate trolls and have gone through our internet and stuff and just play off of our assumptions.

[space-is-a-disease]

Thank for all of those who follow me.

[homunculus-argument]

the universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?

human: GO FAST

the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.

human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST

the universe: wait what

human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER

the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP

human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER

[abstractandedgyname]

human: 

THEORETICALLY MAXIMUM FAST

the universe:

[im-just-a-reaction]

How will the people in the ship not get gibbed?

[armedandgayngerous]

Because the warp drive doesn’t actually accelerate the ship, it just makes the space in front of it smaller and the space behind it larger. Or something.

[unlimited-shitpost-works-deacti]

it works like this

Objects cannot accelerate to the speed of light within normal spacetime; instead, the Alcubierre drive shifts space around an object so that the object would arrive at its destination faster than light would in normal space without breaking any physical laws.

[triss19]

A WRINKLE IN TIME IS COMING TRUE 

[fedkaczynski]

We gonna be surfing gravity waves!!

COWABUNGA SPACE DUDES!

[beans345-deactivated20211127]

I love how mankind’s solution to ftl is just to bend to rules of reality a little.

Universe: ok human, with the physical laws as they are you can’t go faster than the speed of light.

Humanity: ok, let me just figure out how to manipulate space time so I can go FASTER!

[ciswhitethin]

That’s literally how the ship in Futurama works lol the professor says the ship doesn’t move at all, it moves all of space around it. Can’t believe Futurama was right

[bingomann]

fun fact: there’s a real life math theorem (futurama theorem) created by one of the writers for the sole purpose of solving a plot in an episode

[the-midgardian-blog]

Humans are weird

Imagine a human couple singing rock-a-bye baby to their sleeping child and an Alien walks by.

Humans: Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop,When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,And down will come baby, cradle and all.

Alien: this song is about falling children? Why are you singing it to your child????

[the-official-nasa]

*slides over $5 and an Arby’s coupon* you misunderstand me, where are the *cough*aliens*cough*

hey fuCK ARBYSI hold the coupon and the money over my special moon candlethey catch flame in my hands and I stare you downyou may leave

[space-is-a-disease]

I want you to know I am unfollowing you because you said fuck Arby’s.

For your information Arby’s is the shit, and will one day rule as the universe’s Supreme Fast Food Restaurant, over taking McDonald’s and its weak ass self.

[crazymuff1n-deactivated20230428]

yah so there might be a lot of “humans vs aliens and humanity is awesome, and even ‘aliens get fucked over by nature’”

but now suddenly im thinking, what if aliens invade some kind of fantasy world?

like, they decide to check out earth, and these aliens are not Clefairy/Deoxys/Beheeyem, 

“surrender now, you low-life earthlings!”

“hooh boy, yet another team trying to take over. is this team galactic?” “nah man, they wanted to create a new world, and last i checked they didn’t wear costumes” “its probably those ghost-types playing a prank, bet its a bunch of Haunters”

“Alright, troop, according to the human captive, a bit further in, there are berries that can cure us if we get poisoned. let us not forget what happened with the troop in section 6E”

*screaming and buzzing* “Human, I demand this instant that you tell us what the source of the buzzing is!” “oh geez, it sounds like a swarm of Beedrills. you guys better run, they’re extremely territorial”

“nonsens! we will fight off these ‘Beedrills’, we are much more evolved and stronger than whatever those things are! our weapons are much more developed than your puny human weapons”

“suit yourself”

and then they get annihilated by beedrills because those things are FAST and have you SEEN those spears??

[inactiveaccount12345678]

My roomba is scared of thunderstorms

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off–no power surges or anything, just thunder–and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

[systlin]

Humans will pack bond with anything. 

[conversations-end-blog]

Music-less

Aliens species without music

think about the pain that they went through their entire lives

when humans show up on the intergalactic radar they introduce music to aliens who have never had a musical note in their entire existence 

literally the first experience that aliens have with music is the elevator music in the United Nations

and they’re like “WHAT IS THIS HUMAN SPEECH WITH PATTERN”

there’s a sort of split reaction between the entirety of aliens who don’t know what music is

half of them are like “bro this is magic”

the other half is like “ABOMINATION”

and then there’s a trend amongst the whole of the galaxy where there are riots in music stores at space pit stops and recording studios that popped up in response to the music revolution. think of the movement throughout entire solar systems and different views and stuff

and then as all this is going on, another alien species comes up like “we did music before the humans made it cool” 

basically alien hipsters

the Eumang race

and then humans contact with the Eumangians and basically bond over music

slowly, more and more alien species reveal that they created music in their own planets and kept it to themselves (like an underground music railroad where aliens transport and exchange rap albums and EuPop singles and even some human artists)

and then the music movement is over but it is now universally accepted

in fact, music helped aliens of all kinds learn different dialects and languages and cultural norms and overall helped politics transition easier

[imjoshingyou]

[skylark11]

a lake in montana whose water is so clear it appears shallow, when really its over 100 feet deep!

[misthound-deactivated20131116]

this is actually kinda terrifying because what if someone doesn’t know how deep it is, so they go diving and try to swim to the bottom, but they always seem just out of reach, so they just keep swimming… and when they realize something’s wrong it’s too late

[kamadramallama]

Imagine seeing a body at the bottom….

[sweetmarjoram]

tumblr has the ability to turn everything beautiful into something terrifying 

[psychoticrambling]

What if you see a skeleton at the bottom of what appears to be a shallow part of the lake. As you dive down to check them out you notice the water is deeper than you originally thought. Much deeper. You come to realize that there is no way these remains could be human, you’re not even half-way down and already the skull already looks bigger than your car

[thorinobsessed]

This started so tranquil and then it turned into Friday the 13th

[ninjastalkerformarauders]

When people who aren’t on tumblr see tumblr like things and don’t even tag them right.

[floralharjuku]

Incorrect caption. It should read, NieR:Automata (2017)

[space-is-a-disease]

Hey I took this off of Facebook. If you gotta problem, it ain’t me.

[ninjastalkerformarauders]

When people who aren’t on tumblr see tumblr like things and don’t even tag them right.

[penroseparticle]

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

[meduseld]

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

[burntcopper]

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

[bedlamsbard]

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.  We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.  We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves.  A long bus ride?  How long?  We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.  We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer.  “Two hours.”

Oh.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

[marzipanandminutiae]

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

[iguana-sneeze]

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

[ceescedasticity]

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

[space-is-a-disease]

I could just imagine this as a conversation between us and aliens.

[thereal-inspacewereallaustralian]

11 years ago today, the world and especially Australia lost a fantastic man. He was a wildlife enthusiast, and a friend of nature. He was known as one of the most True blue Australians. In our fan base we often bring up this legend especially when talking about animals, and so i thought id pay my respects to the man. Rest in peace Steve Irwin. Australia will never forget you mate.

[space-is-a-disease]

R.I.P. Steve