HEEEEY @spacehorse2013 - Tumblr Blog

svau-deactivated20120828

You don’t know how much someone is worth to you

until you sell them

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

i started jogging in a new million dollar neighborhood. i’ve just made friends with the local jogging crew headed by ashtonlynn and brotyna “chichi” who has a single millionaire brother,

eclipticzero

Is there any version of this plan where I don’t have to jog

mjalti

u only have to jog past the ladies which is like 46 seconds. suck it up for the fraud of it all

nomiworksart

just a cup!

lsdzeppelin-deactivated20180206

no-chill-at-all

fitnika

astrollusion-deactivated2018100

I fucking love Irish slang like it’s the most creative craft ever.

Today I heard a coffin being referred to as a “wooden onesie” in the sentence “Ah jayysus, me nanny looks better than ye and she’s in a bleedin wooden onesie” and it was honestly life changing

peetababy

u kno ur a 90’s kid when u look at ur birth certificate and it says 1990-99

girlfromthe-subway

Best thing about winter is all the bugs r rotting in hell where they belong

atlasonstandby

@141-point-12

happy early birthday

bob-belcher

“And nobody can do that, and that’s why I have job security.”

gennyescsecsemo

tiger-in-the-flightdeck

The lack of context here is thrilling

bearie

im crying.. im watching this vet show and someone had moved from australia to china and everyone was afraid of his dog because she was so big but the vet put her in a lil panda hoodie and no one was scared anymore and some people even came up to pet her..

bearie

look at her..

lgxs

thesejulez

This is what 4th of July is really about. When Gaga and Beyonce posioned all those people in that restaurant for our freedom to dance. Let us never forget.