Dear Life,

[sparkia]

Dear Stress,

you know when you’ve got so much on and you’re so unbelievably stressed that you think you might be going crazy, you feel like you can’t get anything done so you procrastinate and then everything just builds up, things keep being thrown at you left right and centre, with a big fat heaping of emotional turmoil on the side? Well if so, my friend I am in the very same boat - so much so that I'm at the point where I feel like I can’t even think straight. But the odd thing is I don’t know why - this time there isn’t anything that I'm under the pump for - yeah I’ve got a lot of stuff going on but I’m up to date on it all..relatively. I guess I need to figure out a way to push through it or get out of it. The thing is I know that I need to get it out, at least momentarily and generally by now people would be saying YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE. But I’ve got this thing where I feel bad for venting to people about things...like they’ve got their own shit going on, they don’t need my problems added to the mix you know? So I just either sit on it or write it out, I don’t know if writing actually gets stuff out of my system or it just buries it down to stew for a while, but either way, writing until I have nothing left to say helps the majority of the time. This is part of my inner turmoil and it makes me want to scream because from time to time, not very often mind you - but occasionally writing doesn’t help. I feel like I need to be heard but A. I don’t want to burden others and B. the only time I can fully speak my mind is when I write it out. And sometimes Sometimes I don’t have anything to say....and then I get frustrated because I simply don’t know. The only way to describe it is that I feel stuck in a box with a keyhole and no key, it sounds weird but, like I have the key but I’m locked inside the box, I’m the only one that can open it but I can’t open it. 

-Sparkia 

P.s I know it may seem like I’m in this “fog/box” a lot, I promise it’s not all the time but I just tend to write my way out of things.. if that makes sense. I’ll have some more upbeat posts coming soon so stay tuned!

[sparkia]

Dear Moving Day,

Well, this is it..today is the day we’re moving into our new house that has seemingly simultaneously taken an eternity and no time at all to be built. right now I’m supposed to be getting everything ready and tidying the house for the move later today but I’m writing this blog post instead. Procrastination..maybe. But in any scenario writing always helps to clear my brain of the stress-filled fog overwhelming it. Mum, Dad and I are the only ones who know we’re moving today. Originally we were moving in tomorrow and when my parents found out we were moving in a day early it was supposed to be a surprise for my brothers and I. But Mum accidentally let it slip that we’re moving in today last night. Truth be told I don’t know how I feel about the whole situation, sure I’m excited to finally move into a place that is ours and is new. But at the same time part of me knows that once we’re in and my grandma is back from Scotland, we’ll be selling my great-grandparents’ house. The place I’ve always considered home to be. I feel like I should be excited but I think that right now I’m already stressed out about getting everything done today, I have a lot to do on my own and I really don’t want to let anyone down. Especially not Mum because she’s waited for this for so long, I just really want everything to work out for her today. Anywho I’ve already spent way to much time here typing this out, although writing about it has helped me get out of the brain fog like it always does. But welcome to my blog Dear Life,! If you enjoyed this post I hope you’ll stick around for further blog posts to come.  - Sparkia