sparkling.

Chloe. NC. 27. "No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness." - Aristotle

[theconcealedweapon]

[birdhism]

[tatzelwurming]

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

[miseria-fortes-viros]

they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

[miseria-fortes-viros]

WASHING THE FUCKING PAN AGAIN!!!!!

[billymayslesbian]

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

[torchichate]

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

[charlesoberonn]

My ass isn't safe from Tania's hard gock, but thanks to Incgoni, my data is safe from hackers and data-brokers...

[theconcealedweapon]

[annabelle--cane]

you think people actually have sex? naked and everything? I have to laugh.

[annabelle--cane]

pregnancy happens when two clear-headed adults sign a contract and shake hands, much like a business merger

[theconcealedweapon]

[ruraldeprivation-deactivated202]

[ecto-hazard]

[decompose1]

real exchange i overheard between two of my bosses. ????

[podcastwizard]

NO DAD, air brushing unlicensed images of spongebob smoking weed on to t-shirts and selling them at a boardwalk was YOUR DREAM. i'm going to be a PROJECT MANAGER.

[fairtradebananas]

“God poured me out like milk and curdled me like cheese” sounds like a post you’d find on tumblr dot com, but it is in fact Job 10:10

[charlesoberonn]

Draw your OTP

[charlesoberonn]

[soberscientistlife]

This is an excellent response

[charlesoberonn]

[chemicahs]

putting butter on toasted bread is so good has anyone else tried this shit

[icksludge]

intersring dish. drop the recipe

[chemicahs]

Im so glad you asked! In my family, we’re a little different. For generations, butter has been a staple ingredient in all of our recipes. It all started in 1943 when my great grandfather Jo discovered cows. As a youngster he used to churn milk while watching the family of mourning doves on the neighbors land fight over the plumpest worms each morning. The doves feeding their children inspired grandpa Jo so much throughout the years that an idea sparked in his head. He then started the family business we all know as Bo’s kitchen (changed it to Bo for the letter B from butter.)

One day a young woman named Margeryne came into our shop and excitedly declared she also enjoyed making food in the shape of a rectangle. Upon hearing this grandpa Jo almost called his lawyer to file a lawsuit, assuming if anyone else found a way to make food in the shape of a rectangle it must be a stolen copy of our one-of-a-kind melt-in-your-mouth butter recipe. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her call this rectangular food a “Loaf.” We stared in awe at her creation for what felt like hours. That’s when I tried bread for the very first time. It was shockingly delicious and wonderfully fluffy.

But, even then, I had never thought about putting butter on top of bread before. In this recipe I will show you how two rectangular foods combine to make something even greater, something that will make you say Mmmmm! like you’ve never said it before.

Ingredients:

- butter

- bread

Directions:

Toast 2 slices of bread, spread a pad of butter on the tops of each, serve warm.

[icksludge]

2 stars. it was terrible. idk what went wrong, i replaced the bread with a brick and the butter for cement paste to cut back on carbs (im on the curbs diet) and it just tasted like rocks. WTF. 😡😡

[eternalcyclicality]

[eternalcyclicality]

[Image ID: A longform screenshot containing the two previous reblog additions before it: chemicahs' overly verbose narrative with the short and simple recipe and directions at the very bottom, and icksludge's 2 star review addition with the questionable use of masonry materials as substituted ingredients. The screenshot has three different Google Ad Sense frames photoshopped so they are overlaying chemicahs' post, rendering large sections of it unreadable behind the Ad frames. The first Ad Sense frame obscures portions of chemicahs' first and second paragraph, with the frame titled "Advertisement", below which it says "Ad closed by Google" with a blue button labeled "Stop seeing this ad" and white button labeled "Why this ad?". The second Ad Sense frame obscures portions of chemicahs' second and third paragraphs, and it is similarly titled "Advertisement", albeit in barely readable tiny gray text along a thin border. The rest of the frame is mostly a white blank square, with a single line of text that reads "Ad closed by Google". One last Ad Sense frame is a short and wide form banner ad for MANSCAPED which covers and obscures most of the ingredients list and preparation directions. The banner ad has a brunette woman with a tattooed shoulder, holding a black electric shaver. To the right of her ad text reads "MANSCAPED    Two Million Men Agree". The placement of the banner ad is such that it is sandwiched between the partially obscured but still readable ingredient "butter" and "each, serve warm" at the end of the preparation directions. icksludge's review is fully visible below, albeit with one of the two angry emojis not included in the cropped screenshot.  /.End ID]