TEASER - The Penis Debacle
Hey guys! I've got a very exciting announcement to make...
I AM WORKING WITH @sparky2020sworld ON A NEW POLY FIC!!!
It is a non-idol AU and it is an OT16 x Y/N. Yes, I said OT16. This is a Stray Kids x Y/n x ATEEZ fic so it is about to get EXTREMELY chaotic! This little teaser chapter is just a glimpse into the mess that is yet to come 🤣
Credit goes to @sparky2020sworld for the idea, she had sent me the Instagram reel that this teaser is based off of and we bounced ideas off of each other and this goofy chapter is what came out of it! I hope you all enjoy the absolute CHAOS that is about to unfurl!
Tags: Romance, Polyamory, Acceptance, Humor, Friendship, Group Dynamics, and Supportive Relationships.
Trigger Warning(s): MDNI, knives, mentions of "severed dicks", mentions of penises, swearing, sexual innuendos, mentions of sex, etc. (PLS let me know if I missed any)
☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
Y/N is currently in her kitchen, giggling her head off at whatever she is whipping up this time.
Wooyoung walks in from her bedroom, wiping the remains of his nap from his eyes.
“What’s got you so giggly this afternoon, my peach?” He asks, taking a seat on one of the many bar stools at her island.
“One of the busboys at Osteria Bellavista dropped one of the plates from the set that my mother had bought for the restaurant while she was in Sicily so I figured I’d fuck with him by making these for our team ‘breakfast’ before the dinner prep starts.” She says, holding up the VERY phallic shaped waffle on a stick.
Woo’s eyes widened almost comically and his jaw dropped slightly; then his eyes glazed over, drool slowly starting to drip from his plush bottom lip.
“I wanna taste.” He says, almost in a trance.
Y/N giggles and takes a knife to cut it in half. “I haven’t tried them yet either, this is my test batch. Look, it has strawberry jelly on the inside!”
She places half of the waffle on a plate and hands it over for him to try. He places the mushroom head of the penis waffle in his mouth and takes a bite, moaning at the sweet taste that meets his tongue. Y/N also takes a bite of her half, nodding and thinking about what to improve for the final batch.
It is also at this time that Mingi decided to join them both down stairs; he was up in the gaming loft with Yunho while Y/N and Woo were taking a nap together. Yunho had left about an hour ago, claiming he was needed at the dance studio for a last minute choreography change for one of the trainee groups he was working with.
“What cha guys doing down he-” He cuts himself off, seeing the tray of “penises” next to Y/N as well as a “bloodied” knife.
He screams and runs into the half bath just down the hall, locking the door behind him.
Y/N is super confused, he’s seen her bake before with Felix so it's nothing unusual, why did he react that way? Woo is giggling and talking loudly, some nonsense about how we murdered a couple of guys and took their dicks to eat because they sounded delicious.
Mingi was crying now. He pulled out his phone and called Hongjoong.
“Joongie, I think there's something wrong with Y/N and Woo… they are in her kitchen eating penises!” He shouts into the phone.
Y/N laughs, realizing he thinks that they are actually eating dicks, the goober that is one of your lovers.
“Mingles, calm down. What are you talking about?” Hongjoong asked blearily, having just been woken up by Mingi’s phone call.
“Y/N and Wooyoung are eating dicks in her kitchen! There were several all on a tray and a bloody knife right next to her!” Mingi reiterated, adding on the detail about the so-called weapon.
“Princess, what the actual fuck?” Bangchan asks, finally popping his head out of the cuddle puddle he is currently stuck in.
“Mingi, please bring the phone to our love so that she can explain what is going on here.” Seonghwa now pipes up from where he is currently laying between Hongjoong and Lee Know.
Mingi sniffles but gets up and walks back into the kitchen, not meeting either Woo’s or Y/N’s eyes.
“Captain and Mother would like to speak to you.” He says meekly.
Y/N giggles and grabs the phone from his outstretched hand.
“Well hello, my loves. I didn’t realize this was going to turn into a conference call.” She tries to say as seriously as possible.
“Hi babygirl, what’s going on? Why is our Princess acting like you murdered someone?” Bangchan’s low sleepy voice entered her ears.
“Sooooooo, here’s the backstory first; one of the staff at Osteria Bellavista shattered one of the plates from the set that my mother had bought while she was on vacation in Sicily, so I figured I’d fuck with him by making these penis shaped waffles I saw on Instagram for our team ‘breakfast’ before the dinner prep starts. Now back to the present, Wooyoung had walked in from my bedroom not long after I had finished the test batch, so I cut one in half for both of us to try. Not long after that, Mingi walked downstairs from the gaming loft and had asked us what we were doing when he had noticed the phallic shaped waffles and the knife I had used to split one is covered in strawberry jelly and he screamed bloody murder before making a break for the half bath in the hallway. I had no idea why he was freaking about but then Woo started messing with our poor Mingles by spouting something about how me and him went on a killing spree just to take these guys’ dicks, as if there aren’t enough in this polycule anyways, and that’s when Mingi had called you.” Y/N said, recounting the last 5 minutes all while trying to contain her giggles.
Woo and her could hear all 4 of them laughing their asses off while Mingi looked rightfully embarrassed, his cheeks flushed and the tips of his ears burned bright pink.
“Oh Minki, you don’t need to be embarrassed. C’mere, Princess.” She says, putting the phone down and opening her arms while the men on the other side of the line are still dying of laughter.
Mingi reluctantly enters her embrace and he slowly melts against her chest.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbles against her skin.
Y/N just sighs deeply and strokes his hair to help sooth him.
She hears the shutter of a phone camera and looks over at Woo, who has his phone still positioned to take another photo.
“What? You two look cute like that!” He exclaimed, taking a few more photos before spamming the groupchat with them.
She sighs even deeper before pulling away from Mingi.
“Joongi, Chan, Lino, Hwa. Don’t worry about our Princess, I’ll sort him out and bring both him and Woo back to y’alls house later. I will bring some of the phallic waffles so that everyone can try them.”
“Please tell me you filled some of them with white cream filling?” Lee Know spoke up between barely concealed snickers.
“Yes, there are some filled with vanilla cream, some are chocolate cream, there's strawberry jelly, and I also made some savory ones too. There’s some filled with mozzarella, sausage, both, and there’s a couple that I managed to shove some tteokbokki into along with some shredded mozzarella.” Y/N lists.
The guys on the other end are silent and she can visualize all of them drooling and could faintly hear their stomachs growling.
“Don’t worry, I’ll feed you guys in a bit. Think you can wait 30 minutes?” She asks.
“Yeah, we’ll be fine until you three get here. I think the other boys will be excited to try your creations, lovebird. We’ll see you soon.” Seonghwa said.
“We love you.” All four of them said at the same time.
“We love you more.” Woo, Mingi, and she said back in sync.
Hongjoong ended the call and Y/N handed Mingi his phone back.
“Alright boys, will you help me pack up all of these dicks so we can give them to our hungry lovers?”
“Let’s get a move on then!”
Y/N, Mingi, and Woo are able to pack away all the waffles into heat safe containers and put them into insulated bags so they wouldn't get cold during transport. The three of them all made their way down stairs, through the 2 restaurants that lived underneath her 2 story lofted apartment, and to her car. Loaded and buckled up, they start the 20 minute drive to the large mansion that their polycule call their home.
Traffic wasn’t as bad as Y/N thought it would be, they actually arrived 5 minutes earlier than expected. She pulls up to the gate and presses a button on the garage opener that she has on her visor and the gates start opening.
Driving through, you see the gardening staff pulling weeds from the flower beds and trimming the hedges that line the long driveway. She and the boys wave to them as they pass by, pulling up to the attached garage. Pressing the other button, the garage door rolls open and she pulls inside. The door rolls closed as she puts the car in park and she starts getting out to gather the insulated bags that hold the insane pastries.
Mingi strolls into the house first, his head kept low and avoided eye contact with anyone that might be downstairs. Woo literally skips into the house, excited for everyone else to try Y/N’s baking genius! Y/N trails behind Woo, carrying the 2 large insulated bags, her biceps bulging from the weight but nothing she can’t handle.
Hongjoong and Seonghwa were in the kitchen when the trio arrived, witnessing Mingi’s embarrassment first hand. Felix was chilling in the sunken lounge, watching Mingi’s burning face and ears. He had heard what happened at Y/N’s apartment from Joongie and Hwa when they came down stairs for some tea. He also notices the smug look on Woo’s face as he enters the open space, he snickers to himself knowing exactly why he’s like that.
Mingi makes a beeline to Hongjoong and basically collapses in his arms, holding onto him tightly. One of Joongie’s hands makes its way to the nape of his neck and starts massaging soothing circles into his skin. A few seconds later, Woo enters the kitchen with Y/N trailing behind him. She places the bags on the island as Woo hops up on to one of the many bar stools that line the enormous counter space.
Felix joins everyone in the kitchen, standing next to Hongjoong and Mingi. Seonghwa is leaning against the counter by the tea kettle, sipping on whatever tea he brewed for him and Joongie. Felix pulls Mingi into his arms and pulls him upstairs, hopefully to try and sort him out and help him calm down.
“Everyone, please come downstairs! I brought treats!” Y/N shouts, her voice carrying across the large structure.
Soon, everyone in the kitchen could hear the footsteps of the rest of their lovers coming from the stairs, whether that was the basement stairs or the stairs going up to the second or third levels. It takes a couple minutes but the other 11 of your group are now gathered in the kitchen.
“Felix and Mingi will be down in a few minutes.” Yeosang whispered to Y/N as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his chin on her shoulder.
She nodded to acknowledge him while also leaning back into his chest, melting slightly into his warm embrace. He nuzzled her neck and placed a kiss just under her ear causing her to shiver slightly.
“To preface, these are just a trial run for a prank that I am pulling on my staff soon. One of the staff at Osteria Bellavista shattered a plate from the set that my mom had bought while she was on vacation in Sicily, so I figured I’d fuck with them by making these penis shaped waffles I saw on Instagram for our ‘family meal’ before the dinner prep starts. Now here’s the reason why Mingi isn’t currently down here with everyone. Wooyoung had walked in from my bedroom not long after I had finished the test batch, so I cut one in half for both of us to try. Not long after that, Mingi walked downstairs from the loft and had asked us what we were doing when he had noticed the phallic shaped waffles and the knife, I had used it to split one, is covered in strawberry jelly and he screamed bloody murder before making a break for the half bath in the hallway. I had no idea why he was freaking about but then Woo started messing with our poor Mingles by spouting something about how me and him went on a killing spree just to take these guys’ dicks, as if there aren’t enough to go around in this house anyways, and that’s when Mingi had called our Captain to tattle on myself and Woo.” Y/N explained as the entire group in the kitchen burst in all different kinds of laughter.
Yeosang kept his face buried in her neck as he let out silent huffs of laughter, Changbin leaned over the top of them, placing his comforting weight on Yeosang’s back, and scaring the shit out of both of them as they did not hear him come up behind them. He was chuckling and shaking his head in disbelief of Mingi’s actions and Y/N’s creations. She turns her head towards Yeosang’s face and give him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling out of his arms.
She starts opening the bags and pulls out the different containers and starts pointing out which flavors are where.
“This one is the strawberry jelly filled ones, that one there is the tteokbokki filled one! That one is the mozzarella only filled one, this one is the sausage only and that one is the combo sausage and cheese. These are the vanilla cream filled and those are the chocolate cream filled. Please dig in.”
Placing the still warm containers all around the island so that everyone can try them if they wanted to. It was a tiny bit chaotic as everyone tried to grab for whatever one they wanted and dig in. It was silent now that everyone had a phallic waffle on a stick in their hands.
Lee Know is staring at the “penis” in his hand, his eyes about to pop out of his head. Han on his right side is grinning as he is just happy to have some food, even if it’s shaped phallically. Yeosang on the other side of the island is too tired to care as he tries to reach for Y/N again, but Changbin has his arms around his waist, effectively trapping him against the more muscular man. San had kept Yeosang up all night (IYKYK 😏) so he didn't bother fighting the man and just sunk inot his chest.
Seungmin and Jongho are standing a bit further away, closer to the refrigerator, judging the fuck out of the rest of their boyfriends. Yunho was being a boy, holding it down by his waist and was mentally comparing it to his own cock.
That was when Felix and Mingi came back downstairs, Mingi still slightly flushed but better than he was before. He went up behind Yunho, hugged him around the waist, and buried his head into his shoulder. Yunho’s free hand came up to gently cup the back of his head to comfort him.
Seonghwa, Bangchan, and Hongjoong are just leaning against the back counter munching away at their choice of waffle, watching over the rest of their loves with fond smiles and of course giggling at their reactions to the different fillings located inside. What a strange group they all are but none of them would ever trade it for anything, not even for the world.
