spectre @spectralfriend - Tumblr Blog

holdingcaulfields

on identity

ojibwe / noah kahan / richard siken / unknown / elliott smith / oamisoa / cameron awkward-rich

intlbipolar

drtanner

This post is almost 11 years old now, so I feel like it’s time for an update:

thanager

being 24 is really not It.

thanager

mid 20s moodboard

#im glad im not alone at least lol

konoko

sorry i'm being an absent friend i'm being an absent self too

greelin

“has being medicated made you feel more like yourself?” i’m going to be real with you. I don’t even know who that guy is

greelin

i have never felt. Like “”myself””

oursystemblog

well i guess that's fine

spectralfriend

thinking about the time i mentioned how self-harm is addictive for me to my ex-therapist and he scoffed and told me that self-harm isn't addictive.

like yeah technically he might be right? but i don't think that was the time for him to pendantic lmao

spectralfriend

with "he might be right" i mean that when researching it, i found a lot of discourse about whether or not it should be classified as addicting. but the many similarities between self-harm behavior and addiction behavior are undeniable & worth discussing i think

#not here but like. in a proper setting or something #i personally do think self harm is addicting by the way #my brief smoking addiction habits and my self harm habits were pretty much the same #just different chemical releases #idk its worth thinking about #& having language to describe the involuntary deep desires and urges to self harm & the subsequent release is very very important #tw self harm #tw sh

thinking about the time i mentioned how self-harm is addictive for me to my ex-therapist and he scoffed and told me that self-harm isn't addictive.

like yeah technically he might be right? but i don't think that was the time for him to pendantic lmao

#brought it up to him bc i'd relapsed and i fucking hate relapsing with that shit #it fucks with my head so much #and he just. did not care #zero concern #anyway ive been clean again now for like nearly 3 years #but maybe that shouldve been a massive sign that it was time to move on from that therapist #among every other sign #june talks #tw sh #tw self harm

deviika

Roger Zelazny // Fernando Pessoa

scribefindegil

Types of brain fog:

Brain is primordial sludge & you are drowning in it

U are a ghost and nothing is real

Mental equivalent of attempting to stream some high-res video game when all you have is dial-up

The thing you want to articulate is *right there* but you're just scrabbling at it like a cat continually failing to catch the bird on the other side of the window

The Void