don'tconsumehimnatural. wait wait hold on, bear with me. dean is made to be consumed, is the most consumable of men as laid out by @autisticandroids, but it's never in the right way. so much of dean's life, his job especially, involves him dangling himself like a piece of bait for anywhich monster of the week. it's how he was raised. his destiny, according to his dad, chuck, heaven, and hell, is to be chewed up and spit out. he is Thee Vessel, Thee cosmic piece of meat. his bodily autonomy has been violated so often and started at such a young age, that he barely thinks twice about it. he frequently does the classic femme fatale tactic of utilizing his body's own supreme consumable-ness as a weapon, a trojan horse meant to be eaten or used before it kills you.
but even though dean does this without blinking anymore, he doesn't want it. in fact, he *needs* the opposite. he needs not to be consumed. he's tired, so very tired of being used up, of being drained dry, of being eaten. he needs someone who won't eat him, who will abstain. this is part of why cas' alienness is so important to dean. even though cas stares at him hungrily, he's this ancient being without these messy human feelings. he doesn't "have the equipment" to consume dean the way that everybody else does. that's why he's able to get closer, be more affectionate with cas, because ultimately he won't partake. except...dean can only go so far with it. if they *became* something, were together, if cas finally started consuming dean, would he ever stop? if cas gives way to his vessel's desire for red meat, will he end up consuming dean whole and raw on the floor?
so dean and cas exist in this horrid little limbo, closer than dean can get with anyone else, but unable to cross the barrier into real closeness because dean can't take the chance that cas will betray him, will be unable to control himself just like everyone else, and use dean up. in order to enjoy being consumed, dean needs, at his core, the freedom to not be
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