#ok i understand ppl would take the romancey route here#but imagine the werewolf’s mother#or grandmother#some wizened old woman or middle aged woman#with wrinkles or hands toughened from years of labor#just going out into the woods#where even the men with axes won’t go anymore#and facing down the ravening beast#and saying#it’s time to come home
James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter James potter
James Potter seems to have found the best pillow on earth. You.
james potter x fem!reader
warnings: none
James liked to consider himself a man of simple pleasures.
A good meal ? Heaven. A lazy Sunday spent wrapped in a blanket burrito ? Perfection. A well-timed, sarcastic remark ? Chef’s kiss.
But above all else, there was one thing James had come to love more than anything in the world.
Your chest.
Well, you as a whole, of course. Body and soul alike. He was not a bloody prick, thank you very much.
He loved you for you, not just for the flawless vessel that carried your golden heart and your beautiful mind.
But he couldn't help the way he was especially drawn to the perfection that peeked from your neckline when your shirt hung a little lower than usual.
And he also could not, in good conscience, ignore the life-altering comfort that was that perfection.
Now, to be clear, James wasn’t just some guy obsessed with his girlfriend’s body –okay, maybe he was a little addicted.
But, come on, who could blame him when you were said girlfriend ?
He was supposed to be a bit obsessed with you, right ? That’s what every person in their sane, right and helplessly in love mind would be about their partner, no ?
Was that just him ?
Ok, fine, maybe he was a bit of a simp (read, you had him at your feet). So what ?
He liked it exactly like that. Sue him.
But this ? This was different.
This wasn’t just about attraction or some primal male instinct. No, this was about something sacred.
This was about comfort.
The kind that he’d accidentally stumbled upon one evening when you had curled up next to him on the couch, and his head had somehow –miraculously– ended up resting right on your chest.
That’s when he had discovered it.
The Holy Grail of pillows. The pinnacle of all headrests.
Your chest was perfect.
Warm. Soft. Inviting.
It had been life-changing. Existence-altering. World-stopping.
And in that moment, with his head resting against the softest, most heavenly cushion known to mankind, and your heart beating under his ear like a lullaby, James had made a decision.
He was never going back to regular pillows again.
Ever.
The problem was, he didn’t exactly know how to turn this into a permanent arrangement without looking like an absolute fool.
Which, really, was ironic, because James didn’t mind acting like the biggest dumbass in the world when it came to you. Not even a tiny bit.
The man had zero shame, and zero chill when you were involved.
If he had to beg ? Done.
If he had to bribe you with kisses ? Oh no, how awful.
If he had to declare his undying devotion in front of his friends and suffer their relentless teasing ? Call Sirius and Remus over, he was ready to suffer.
If he had to wear one of those, frankly quite obnoxious --yes, even for him-- ‘I ❤️ My Girlfriend’ shirts in public just because you wanted him to suffer a bit for forgetting the chores ? Consider it his new favorite outfit.
He’d do anything and everything –yes, even sacrificing his dignity in front of Pads and Moony– if it meant putting a smile on your face (and making you agree to be used as a headrest for the rest of your life. But let’s just say that was a teeny, tiny, wonderful bonus if the case ever came to be).
Tonight was his chance, he told himself.
You were already curled up on the couch, wearing one of his hoodies, your legs tucked beneath you as you scrolled through your phone. The dim lighting of the room cast a soft glow over you, and James took a moment to appreciate the scene.
Because, honestly ? You looked really good.
Too good.
Like, unfairly good.
The hoodie –his hoodie, the one he had technically claimed as his favorite, but which spent more time on your body than his closet– was slightly oversized on you, slipping off one shoulder in a way that made his brain short-circuit for a second.
This was his moment.
You were comfortable. The couch was comfortable.
And your chest ? Well, that was a level of bliss he had yet to find anywhere else in the world.
Time to execute: Operation Smothered by Heaven.
Ok, the name was a little ridiculous. But, to his defence, he had been a little distracted while thinking about it –the dress you were wearing mysteriously met the floor not even five minutes after he had taken a glimpse of you– and his brain had refused to work at his full potential.
Something that he absolutely couldn’t let happen now.
Not when the fate of his comfort and sanity was at such a high risk.
That’s why he casually –so casually– stretched like a giant cat just waking up from a nap, letting out an exaggerated yawn before –still ever so nonchalantly, of course– leaning closer.
And would you look at that ? His head, as if drawn by an invisible magnetic force he absolutely had no control on –God forbid– found its way to your chest.
It was seamless.
Flawless execution.
Absolutely fucking nailed that.
He gave himself a mental high five.
Operation Smothered by Heaven: officially successful.
“Wow. Smooth” you blinked down at him, amused.
James grinned but didn’t move. Not even an inch. Nope.
He had claimed his rightful place, and there was no going back now.
“What can I say ? Gravity is a powerful thing” he purred, his voice smug, his eyes half-lidded like a cat who had just found the warmest sunspot in the house.
“Ah, I see. So this is all gravity’s fault, then ?”
“Absolutely” he confirmed, burrowing his face in just a little more “I have no control over it. Pure science”
You snorted, shaking your head, but you didn’t push him away.
Of course you didn’t.
If anything, you shifted slightly, letting your arm drape around his back, your fingers absentmindedly tracing along his spine. He hummed in approval, his whole body melting against yours like ice under the warm sunlight of a summer’s day.
Because the thing James didn’t know –or, at the very least, seemed to forget– was that he wore his heart on his sleeve. Always.
James Potter and secret scheming ? Not a good match.
Not a match at all, actually. But you still liked watching him try.
And with the way he had been ogling you for the past week, it really wasn’t hard to figure out what had been brewing in that ridiculously pretty head of his.
His thoughtful frown, the way his brows scrunched together, his deep-in-thought lip-biting. James had looked like he was trying to crack some highly classified government code.
Except the code in question was you.
Or, more specifically, that area right below your neck that seemed to steal his attention more times then it should've been considered healthy.
Subtle, he was not.
He had been studying you. Analyzing the way your sweaters dipped lower when you leaned forward, the way the fabric of your shirts clung to your curves, the way–
God.
James had the audacity to look like he was pondering the meaning of life when, really, all he was trying to find was an excuse.
Funny how he could’ve just asked.
It wasn’t like you would have refused him.
Hell, you didn’t even think you possessed the ability to refuse him. To refuse him anything, really.
But your smitten and extremely down-bad behavior when it came to your boyfriend was a topic for another time.
James let out a deep, satisfied sigh.
“You know” he murmured, voice slightly muffled as he nuzzled closer “I think I’ve discovered something important”
“Oh ?”
“Mhm” he tilted his head up, his expression dead serious. Like a man delivering a life-changing revelation “Your chest ? Best pillow I’ve ever used”
You raised an eyebrow, a quiet grin making its way onto your mouth. “I should be flattered, I think”
“You should be honored” he corrected, his lips quirking into a lazy smirk “I mean, it’s a very competitive market. But yours ? Easily top-tier”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t hide the smile tugging at your lips. “Is that right ?”
James nodded solemnly.
“Hell yeah, baby. I’d even write a five-star Yelp review if that were a thing”
You let out a soft laugh and slid your fingers into his hair, gently scratching at his scalp.
James immediately melted.
He let out a low, contented hum, eyes slipping shut, the tension in his body dissolving completely. You thought if he was a cat, he would’ve started purring.
“Mmh. Keep doing that, and I might never get up” he mumbled, voice already laced with drowsiness.
“Wouldn’t mind that” you teased.
Because, really, who in their right mind would complain about this ?
No one, that's who.
And surely not you.
James hummed in response, his arms tightening around your waist burying himself further into you. You could feel the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the warmth of his body seeping into yours.
His lips brushed absentmindedly against your collarbone –a barely-there press of warmth that sent a quiet shiver down your spine.
This. This was perfection.
Then, because James Potter simply could not help himself, he tilted his head up again.
“So, uh... just out of curiosity. How often do you think I can get away with this ?”
You smirked. “That depends”
“On ?”
“How well you behave”
James’ eyes darkened slightly, though amusement still played at the edges.
“Define behave” his voice dropped, all smooth and teasing, like he could coax an answer out of you if he said it just right.
You arched a brow, pretending to think.
“Well, let’s see. No stealing the blankets at night. No pretending you don’t hear me when I ask you to grab something from the kitchen. And definitely no distracting me when I’m trying to get work done”
James gasped, offended.
“That last one is unreasonable and you know it”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Oh, is it ?”
“Yes. It is literally part of my rights as your boyfriend to distract you”
You hummed, pretending to ponder your decision.
“Well, if we can do nothing about that…” your hand cupped his cheek, slender fingers applying a gentle pressure to lift his face up from that cocoon of warmth he had nestled himself into.
He blinked. “I-wait. What ?”
Before he could fully register what was happening, you leaned down and captured his lips in a slow, lazy kiss.
James melted.
Like, gone. Out of commission. Absolute goner.
The smug confidence he had a second ago ? Obliterated.
His hands, which had been lazily resting at your waist, tightened, pulling you closer like he never wanted to let go. One of them trailed up your spine, fingers tangling into your hair, holding you there like this was oxygen and he needed it to breathe.
You sighed against his lips, feeling the way James shuddered, the way his grip on you tightened, like he was physically trying to keep himself from falling apart.
Like you had just ruined him.
And maybe you had.
Because when you pulled back just enough to catch your breath, James just blinked at you, dazed and utterly wrecked, lips still parted like he hadn’t quite caught up with reality yet.
You bit back a smirk.
Unbelievable.
How had this man made a full-time career out of turning you into putty, and yet one well-placed kiss had him looking like he’d just been personally blessed by the universe ?
You dragged your fingers lazily through his curls, watching the way his lashes fluttered at the sensation, the slow, dopey grin tugging at his lips.
Completely gone.
You tilted your head, murmuring teasingly against his mouth “Was that up to your standards, Mr. Five-Star Review ?”
James, still grinning –and still absolutely useless– just nodded.
"Five stars ? That was worth the entire Milky Way, baby"
You let out a laugh, and James practically glowed at the sound, his fingers flexing against your waist like he wanted to bottle it.
Then, before you could say anything else, he tilted his head, brushing his nose against yours in that infuriatingly sweet way of his.
"You know-" he murmured, voice all warm and syrupy "-if this is part of my reward system, I promise to be so good"
You smirked, fingers tracing idle patterns into the back of his neck. “Do you now ?”
James nodded solemnly, though the grin he was fighting gave him away.
“The best. Model citizen. Proper gentleman. Will hold doors, carry bags, call you milady unironically if I have to”
You snorted. Loudly.
"Now that, I need to see"
James hummed, tilting his head up like he was about to deliver the most profound statement of his life.
“Mmh. Maybe after another kiss”
Your eyes narrowed playfully. “That so ?”
He nodded again, already leaning in, his lips curling mischievously.
You let your fingers drag slowly down the back of his neck, feeling the way James shivered under your touch.
The moment stretched, thick with something warm and electric, the air between you charged in that intoxicating way it always was whenever you teased him like this.
You leaned in deliberately, lips hovering just over his, close enough that you could feel the ghost of his breath, the heat radiating off his skin.
James, for all his usual smugness, stilled, his lazy smirk faltering into something softer, deeper. His lips parting slightly, his pupils dark and expectant.
Waiting.
Wanting.
You let your gaze drop to his lips, watching as his tongue darted out just once, a quick, unconscious flick, like he was already tasting the kiss before it happened.
And, God, he was beautiful like this.
All that usual bravado stripped down to this, his sharp edges melted, his hands twitching slightly where they rested on your hips, fighting the urge to pull you closer.
His restraint was admirable.
His patience ?
Well. That was something you just had to test.
You leaned in that final inch –only for your lips to land on his cheek instead.
Soft. Chaste. Infuriating.
James let out a dramatic, suffering groan, his head thunking back against the cushions.
“Tease” he mumbled, voice hoarse, his hands finally losing their battle as they gripped your waist, fingers pressing into your sides like he was physically holding back the urge to grab your face and kiss you properly.
You pulled back just enough to grin down at him, impossibly pleased with yourself.
“What ?” you asked innocently, tilting your head “You asked for a kiss. You didn’t specify where, love”
James cracked one eye open, glowering.
“Oh, that’s dirty” he grumbled, before huffing dramatically and rolling onto his back, taking you with him.
You yelped as you landed against his chest, sprawled across him, your laughter cut off when his arms wrapped around you, pinning you against him with the strength of a human vice grip.
“James-”
“Nope” he said, shoving his face into your neck like a petulant child, muffling his words “You’re stuck here now. Actions have consequences”
You laughed, wiggling in his hold, but he just tightened his grip.
“James”
“Mmm. Nope”
“I-”
“Shh. Thinking about my suffering”
You rolled your eyes, smiling despite yourself, your fingers naturally finding their way into his curls again, scratching lightly at his scalp.
He made a sound, deep and content, his body practically melting beneath you.
“See ?” you teased, voice softening “That wasn’t so bad”
James exhaled heavily, but his hands had already started skimming over your back again, lazy and unbothered, like he’d completely forgotten why he was fake-pouting in the first place.
“Mmh” he hummed “Don't know. Still feel like you owe me”
You smirked, arching a brow. “Oh ?”
“Yeah” James sighed dramatically, finally tilting his head up again. Looking at you.
That expression.
Soft. Mischievous. A little challenging.
Maybe even a little hopeful.
Like he was just waiting for you to put him out of his misery.
You let the moment stretch for a beat longer, lips quirking.
Then, with a small, amused sigh, you finally gave in.
And kissed him properly.
For a few moments, the two of you just stayed like that, tangled together, basking in the warmth of each other’s touch.
You felt him smile against your lips before he pulled back just enough to murmur “So… hear me out”
“Oh boy” you sighed, already knowing.
James just grinned, completely unbothered by your lack in faith in him.
“What if we made this a permanent arrangement ?”
You let out a soft laugh, tilting your head at him. “A permanent arrangement ?”
“Yeah. Like, an official thing. A contract, even” he lifted his head slightly, hie expression the picture of seriousness “Something binding. A legally recognized agreement that states you will be my official human pillow for the foreseeable future”
You stared at him, an eyebrow quirked in amusement, lips twitiching.
“You want to draft a pillow contract ?”
James nodded, almost professionally.
“For accountability purposes”
You rolled your eyes, a disbelieved chuckle leaving your lips before you could stop it.
“You’re ridiculous”
“But lovable” he pointed out.
You exhaled, shaking your head, your heart betraying you with the sheer amount of fondness you felt for this man.
“Fine” you relented, rolling your eyes as if you weren’t already completely gone for him “You win. You can rest on me whenever you want”
James grinned like he’d just won the lottery, wasting no time in smacking a quick, eager kiss right on your lips.
“But” you added, poking him in the ribs “I reserve the right to move if you start drooling”
“Excuse me ?” James gasped, offended “I do not drool”
You smirked. “That’s not what the couch cushions say”
James gasped again, dramatically this time, like you had personally insulted his honor “That was one time-”
“Oh, it so wasn’t”
James pouted, pulling you even closer and pressing his forehead against yours with a grumble.
“You wound me” he muttered, a mock distraught lilt to his voice.
You grinned, the warmth of him, the smell of him, completely surrounding you as you pressed a kiss to his jaw, lingering just enough to feel the way his breath hitched.
“I think you’ll survive just fine”
James hummed, tilting his head slightly, inviting you to keep going.
So you did.
You let your lips trail along his jawline, slow and lazy, your fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck, scratching lightly in a way that made him melt.
“Well” James sighed, voice lower, heavier, the tiniest shiver running through him “If this is how you comfort me, I guess I’ll forgive you”
You laughed against his skin.
“How generous”
James smirked, but there was something else in his eyes now, something wicked, something that sparked just before–
Before the menace shimmied down.
Yes. Shimmied. Like a man with a mission.
“James-”
Your protest was cut off by laughter, because he was determined, wriggling lower and lower with expert precision, slipping out of your hold like a human-sized golden retriever trying to find the perfect spot on the couch.
And then, with a triumphant sigh, his head landed where he had been aiming all along–
Right on your chest.
James let out a deep, satisfied hum, snuggling in, his nose nuzzling into the soft fabric of your shirt like this was some long-lost paradise he had just returned to.
“Now we’re talking” he exhaled in sheer satisfaction, like the heaviest of weights had been lifted from his shoulders, snuggling even deeper, and muttering an appreciative “Mmh. Yep. Definitely five stars”
You blinked down at him, helpless to fight the way your heart swelled, a smile threatening to bloom against your better judgment.
“Should I start charging you for this service ?” you teased.
James hummed, content, his lips brushing absently against the skin just below your collarbone.
“I’d go broke, baby”
You let out a soft, breathy laugh, your fingers finding their way back into his hair, your nails scratching lightly at his scalp.
James groaned, pressing his face deeper into your chest, mumbling something incoherent that you were pretty sure translated to never stop doing that.
Before you could fully process how utterly whipped this man was, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss there –just because he could.
You pulled back slightly, blinking down at the mop of messy chocolate strands currently buried between your collarbones.
“Do you make a habit of kissing all your pillows ?” you asked, voice mildly amused despite the unreasonable warmth now flooding your chest.
James, completely unashamed, grinned against you.
“Pillows don’t usually deserve appreciation, but this one ?” his fingers traced slow, lazy patterns against your waist, his voice dropping to a reverent murmur “This one gets special treatment”
A full-body shiver rolled through you.
And James, that absolute menace, felt it.
His smirk was obnoxiously satisfied as he nuzzled in even deeper, practically purring as he molded himself further against you.
You rolled your eyes, trying –truly trying– to ignore the overwhelming affection clawing at your ribcage. And utterly failing.
“Jamie, you’re gonna choke like this” you warned playfully, fighting against yourself not to let out the endeared laugh threatening to spill.
James made a noncommittal noise, fully unbothered.
“Best way to go, honestly”
And that was it.
Not one beat missed. Not a single ounce of shame registered in his voice.
You stared wide-eyed at the mop of untamable chocolate curls right below your chin, completely bewildered by the words that had just come out of your boyfriend’s mouth.
Did this man, the actual lover of your life, just casually declare that he would willingly –no, gladly– perish via boob-related asphyxiation ?
Because that was what it sounded like.
Was that a normal thing for a person to say ?
No. No, it wasn’t.
And yet—here you were.
"James"
“Mmm ?”
"James, get up"
"No"
You sighed, trying to nudge him off, but it was useless.
Because this man –this grown, six-foot, sport-trained, annoyingly fit man– was currently clinging to you like a koala experiencing its first-ever existential crisis.
And you knew –you knew– that there was no reasoning with a man who had just fully committed to making your chest his final resting place.
"James-"
"No"
"You cannot suffocate yourself on my–"
"I can and I will"
"You will not"
James lifted his head just enough to look at you with actual betrayal.
"How dare you harm a man in his final moments ?"
A stunned laugh escaped before you could stop it.
“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous”
James smirked triumphantly.
“And yet-” he murmured smugly “-you don’t seem to mind it”
He barely gave you a second to respond before he nuzzled right back in, burrowing into your chest like you were some long-lost paradise he had finally returned to.
You stared at the ceiling, dead inside.
How was this your life ?
You used to have dignity.
You used to be a strong, independent person.
And yet, somehow –somehow– you had become a glorified human mattress for your very large and very needy boyfriend.
And the worst part ?
You didn’t even mind.
You sighed deeply, fingers slipping into his hair against your better judgment. James melted immediately, exhaling in a way that was obscenely pleased. Like if he were any more relaxed, he'd have dissolved into a puddle of mushy, lovesick goo.
Then, with the solemnity of a man about to deliver a groundbreaking presidential address, he cleared his throat.
You barely had time to register the shift before he–
“Ladies” James began, his voice smooth, reverent “It’s always a pleasure”
Your mouth fell open.
Did he just–
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“I just wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude” he continued talking to your breasts, completely ignoring the look of utter disbelief and sheer horror plastered on your face and sighing dramatically “For your service. For your warmth. For providing me with the best naps of my life”
Your soul, quite frankly, left your body, just straight-up abandoned you.
“James–”
He shushed you.
Shushed you.
“I’m having a moment with my girls, baby” he whispered, like he was delivering a speech at fucking Buckingham Palace.
You gaped at him. “You are not-”
“I am” he placed a hand over his heart “They deserve it”
You had never contemplated murder so seriously in your life.
James, completely unbothered, pressed on.
“I promise to treat you with the respect and admiration you deserve. To appreciate your softness in all its glory. To-” he paused, tilting his head “Actually, I feel like I should name you”
“For the love of God, James. Don’t you dare-”
James gasped.
Gasped.
“That’s a brilliant idea. Baby, why haven’t we named them ?”
You smacked his arm, your eyes so wide they threatened to fall out of your skull. “Because they are literally attached to my body ?!”
But he wasn’t listening. No, the absolute menace was thinking, brows furrowed in deep concentration.
“They deserve names that reflect their greatness. Something regal. Something powerful”
He snapped his fingers. “Got it. Thelma and Louise”
You groaned. “Absolutely fucking not”
James ignored you.
“Or maybe Hall and Oates ?”
“I- What- Aren’t they both men ?”
“Gender’s nothing but a social construct, darling”
“Ok-”
A sudden gasp interrupted you, as if he had just discovered the meaning of life itself.
"Baby- Baby, I’ve got it"
You sighed, already regretting everything. "James, no"
"Yes" he insisted, eyes alight with the thrill of an idiot about to say something profoundly stupid "Bonnie and Clyde"
You blinked. Once. Twice.
"You want to name ‘your girls’ after two actual criminals ?"
James nodded solemnly, as if he were making the most reasonable suggestion in the world. "Iconic criminals. Star-crossed lovers. Thrill-seekers. Just like us, babe"
"Just like us ?" you repeated, incredulous "James, they literally died in a hail of bullets"
"Tragic, right ?" he sighed dramatically, resting his cheek against your chest. "Just two outlaws against the world. Inseparable. Madly in love. Probably great at robbing banks"
You stared at him, completely dead inside. "Are you about to compare my chest to a highly coordinated armed robbery ?"
James lifted his head just enough to grin at you.
"Well” he mused, eyes twinkling “they did steal my heart"
You were done. So done, in fact, that you just gave up entirely.
"I cannot believe this is my life" you muttered, shoving your hands over your face.
James, the absolute menace, took this as encouragement and nuzzled back in, pressing obnoxiously reverent kisses between his newly christened 'Bonnie and Clyde'.
"Rest easy, my loves" he murmured dramatically "Your legacy shall live on"
"James-"
"Shhh" he hushed, patting your side "They're outlaws, baby. They don’t play by the rules"
At that point, you seriously considered pushing him off the couch. Or out the window.
Maybe both.
You shook your head, defeated, completely annihilated by your boyfriend’s questionable choices.
James grinned, entirely too pleased with himself.
“Oh, come on. I’m just having a bit of fun” he chuckled lightheartedly, turning his attention back to your chest with the solemnity of a man who had just finished writing a best-selling novel “Well, ladies, whatever your names may be, just know –you have my eternal devotion”
And then, as if he hadn’t just committed the most embarrassing crime against you, he nestled back in with a satisfied hum.
You stared down at him, deadpan.
“You’re an actual menace”
“And yet, despite that, you love me” he mumbled, already half-asleep.
You sighed, your fingers automatically sliding into his hair once again. It took him less than two seconds to turn into a puddle, his entire body going limp as he exhaled in the most ridiculously pleased way possible, like he had just been given an award for the best nap ever.
“Unfortunately” you muttered, your heart melting just a little bit too, because, yes, he was a ridiculous man, but he was your ridiculous man.
And, as much as you complained, you couldn’t deny it --having James like this, warm and completely wrapped around you, was its own kind of perfect.
The Pillow Contract (Unofficially Signed & Approved)
Clause 1: James gets unlimited chest pillow privileges.
Clause 2: Y/n reserves the right to kick James off if he drools in his sleep.
Clause 3: Cuddles are mandatory.
Clause 4: James won't ever refer to Y/n's chest as ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ again. Penalty: annulment of Clause 1.
Hello beautiful people 💗
I have no idea of where this thing spouted from. It popped in my head, and I had to bring it to the world 😂.
This is my first attempt at a more humorous type of fic. I had so much fun writing it, and I really hope it didn't downright suck, and you had a good time reading it, too.
Let me know what you think!
Thank you for reading, and I'll catch you in the next one <3
Percy finds a list y/n made in order to fall in love, he's determined to be the one to complete it.
warnings: briefly hinted cabin 7 reader
author: this is inspired by the book mi conquista tiene una lista by Inma Rubiales. Recommended if you like cheesy romcoms (as i do) and can read in spanish !!
Percy didn’t mean to find it, really. He didn’t mean to pry into her things; it felt like an invasion of privacy. But she was the one that had sent him to look for a paintbrush while she was painting, and he wasn't at fault if said paintbrush was beside a piece of paper that called for his attention.
'things someone has to do before I fall in love'
At first, he wants to go and tease her about it, but as he starts reading, he realizes this is his opportunity.
He had been in love with her for so long he couldn't even pinpoint the exact moment. He has tried to get her to notice, but either she is too oblivious or she acts like it.
But this list- this list is exactly what Percy needed. He can't tell her, of course, but he is sure that he can check off all the boxes in her list. Then, that's going to show her that he is at least worth a date.
"Percy, did you find my paintbrush?" she calls from out of the cabin, he quickly pockets the piece of paper on his jeans and takes the brush to go with her.
it is no big deal, he's just going to take the list with him to make sure he can follow it. She won't realize.
1. sings with me (even if they can't sing well)
Percy loves watching her in her element, how she gets absorbed once she's in front of the easel, the way her brush runs through the white canvas, how her brows furrow together when she makes a mistake that surely no one but her is able to notice.
She sings when she's distracted, and percy loves it. Her voice is just perfect. And somehow, she always seems to know every song playing on the radio.
And he always finds an excuse to just sit there and watch her as she paints. It's a wonder how she hasn't realized how utterly in love he is, because every time he looks at her with such love in his eyes that by this point, everyone in camp knows about it.
Sometimes he helps her, mostly when she can't seem to find the paintbrush or pallete she needs, which is why he even found the list to begin with and- talking about the list! Percy remembers exactly what the first point was.
Sing with her. Percy doesn’t like singing, he's sure that didn’t come with the list of talents provided by Poseidon. He thinks his voice is terrible and even the idea of singing and disturbing the beautiful sound of her voice was just wrong.
So he starts small, humming along the music. He recognizes this one. That's a first. Even y/n seems surprised as she pauses for a moment, a small smile tugs at her lips before she goes back to painting, but Percy swears he sees the spark of amusement in her expression.
"You know this one?" she asks, her tone light and teasing. "Come on, sing with me"
"I’m not a singer" he mutters, immediately stopping his humming. "In fact, i'm terrible at singing."
"Who said you had to be a good singer? It’s not an audition" she teases, picking up a clean paintbrush and holding it out to him like a microphone. "here."
Before he can even think about protesting, the chorus of the song kicks in, and she starts singing, her voice clear and cheerful. Percy groans, but he picks up the paintbrush as he starts humming again.
She grins widely. "See? it's not that hard"
"I’m still not singing, no way" he insists, though his voice is softer now, the edges of his reluctance smoothing out just by the sight of her smile.
"Oh, you will" she says confidently, twirling the paintbrush and pointing it at him like a challenge. "Come on, It’s a duet. You can’t say no."
And he really can't, not because he cares about any duet whatsoever but just because he can't ever say no to her.
Before Percy knows it, the words spill out of him, hesitant at first, but then stronger as he loosens up. He's Slightly off key, but she doesn’t seem to care. She cheers him on, laughing as he stumbles over the lyrics.
"You know, you're actually not that bad." she teases as the song reaches its end.
"You're ridiculous." he says between chuckles, handing the paintbrush back.
"And you’re fun sometimes." she replies, beaming up at him.
He gasps playfully. "Excuse you? sometimes?"
When she burst out laughing, Percy smiles at her. He wasn't expecting checking off the first item on the list would be this easy. Or this fun.
2. dances in the rain with me.
The second item comes just as naturally as the first one. Percy doesn’t have to force anything, it just so happens that a few days later, it started raining just when they were walking back from sword training.
Most campers around them take their things and run for cover. Percy's just about to do the same, knowing the rain is probably Zeus' doing and not wanting to be anywhere near it, when his eyes fall on her and stops right on his track.
Far from being agitated by the sudden downpour like everyone else, she tilts her face up, laughing as the rain fall all over her. She looks so carefree, so beautiful, that Percy can hardly be blamed for allowing himself to be pulled into her orbit once again.
Without hesitation, he steps forward, takes her hand, pulls her closer and spins her around. She is confused at first, but then she laughs, her face full of joy.
Percy is not a good dancer in the slightest, but he tries just for her. He lets himself relax under the pouring rain, twirling her again and again, his hands holding her waist as she throws her head back, laughing like its the best thing in the world.
He knows there are people around them, probably watching, but he can’t bring himself to care. Her smile, her laugh, make everything else fade into the background. It's like they are in one of those cheesy romantic movies that she has always seem to enjoy so much.
When the moment slows, Percy reaches out and gently brushes wet strands of hair off her face. She leans into his touch, smiling softly, and for a second, he’s sure his heart skips a beat.
"I didn’t know you were such a good dancer." she comments, her voice filled with amusement as she tries to catch her breath, raindrops running down her cheeks.
I could be anything for you he thinks, but instead, he smiles playfully. "maybe i'm just full of surprises."
3. creates something just for me
bonus: 4. knows my favorite flower
Percy realizes soon enough that not everything on the list is going to be as easy as simply going with the flow. He is good at a lot of things, but crafting isn't one of them, so going through the process of creating something was just- difficult to say the least.
Still, he doesn’t want to half-ass this one, if she wants him to create something for her, then it'll have to be special.
That's where Leo comes in, Percy has to beg the boy for his help. But once he ends up agreeing, it's all set to go.
"metal flowers?" Leo repeats, leaning against the workbench in bunker nine. "Really, dude? you're whipped."
Percy shrugs, trying to act casual. "She really likes flowers. And uh- she loves peonies."
How does Percy knows she loves peonies? even he's surprised, he doesn't remember her telling him. But he simply knows. And he's sure of it, too.
"And couldn't you simply buy her some flowers?" Leo asks, but Percy can already see the gears turning in his head.
"She deserves something unique and special, doesn’t she?" He replies, and that seems to be enough for Leo.
"Alright, let's get to work then."
The two of them spend hours working together. Leo shows Percy how to mold and bend the metal into petal shapes. It's easier said than done, but after a few tries, Percy's able to do it by himself while Leo focuses on welding them together, because he doesn’t trust Percy won't end up burning down the bunker.
When they're finally done, they have a steel peony. It isn't perfect, but Percy's proud of it. It feels special, and he can't wait to give it to her, he barely manages to thank Leo before he's rushing out of the bunker.
He's able to find y/n on the stables, she has her hair in a ponytail, a few strands falling messily over her face. She's focused on grooming a pegasus, so she doesn’t notice Percy until he taps her shoulder.
She's startled at first, but once she sees Percy, she visibly relaxes. "Oh hi Perce, do you need something?"
Percy was excited, but now he's clearly nervous as he stutters through his words. "I- um- I made something for you."
That gets her attention, she looks at him surprised as she sets the comb down. "You got me something? what do you-"
Her words trail off when Percy pulls his creation from behind his back. She seems surprised, looking in between the flower he's holding and his face, as though she can't surely trust her eyes.
"you like peonies, don't you?" he asks hesitantly, even though he had been one hundred percent sure of his choice a few hours ago.
She opens and closes her mouth, words dying before they can escape her lips as she reaches and takes the steel peony from Percy's hand.
It takes her just a moment to realize that Percy is still looking at her with eyes full of doubt, and then her lips finally curl up into a beaming smile. "Like them? Percy i adore peonies." she looks back at the flower in her hand, and she almost feels like crying. "It's so beautiful, how did you make it? how did you know I like peonies?"
"I'm sure you've mentioned it before" he shrugs, trying to hide how nervous he is. "but i'm glad you liked it."
"I love it." she reassures him, her smile wide. "thank you, Perce."
And when she leans and kisses his cheek, he knows the effort was worth it. He would do anything just to make her happy.
5. listens to me
bonus: 6. shares his opinions with me
Some of these were the easiest because, well- Percy already did them. It was the minimum he could do, really. Listening to her came as a second nature.
He could be in a room full of people, all of them talking at once. but the moment y/n's voice filled his ears, he would be the first one listening.
Right now, he's in the middle of a shouting match with Clarisse. Cabin meetings always go just like this, they waste the first hour without accomplishing anything, the other counselors are used to this by now.
"I'm just saying, we shouldn't show any weakness! we should focus on our defense." Clarisse slams her palms against the ping pong table, her voice rising. "we're still vulnerable and we shouldn't rely on a stupid dragon for everything!"
"And i'm just saying." Percy fires back, already losing what little patience he has. "We need to focus on training new campers first, we-"
Clarisse cuts him short, it's not the first time she has done it. "what better training than patrolling the borders?"
"We won't send our new campers to fight monsters without any previous training!" His voice rises, everyone else stares like they're watching a tennis match. "We won't send them to die, have you gone mad?"
Before Clarisse can reply, surely to fire back with some offense on her part, y/n's voice cuts through the noise.
"Okay, let's calm down." Percy's head whips towards her the moment she talks, the heat of the argument forgotten the moment his eyes find hers. "you both have a point."
"but-" Clarisse starts again, but Percy's faster.
"let her talk" he interrupts before they can get into another argument.
y/n falters for a moment. She isn’t even supposed to be at this meeting, she’s only covering for Will, who’s stuck at the infirmary with some campers who got into a fight. She feels out of place and is ready to choke on her words. But when her gaze meets Percy’s, he nods at her and offers a small, reassuring smile. It’s all she needs to find the courage to continue.
She takes a deep breath and then keeps going. "Defense is important, but we do need more trained campers. Maybe we could compromise? Split the efforts? Half the camp focuses on guarding the borders, while the other half works on training?"
There's a murmur of agreement amongst everyone else at the table, even Clarisse seems to deflate as she acknowledges the logic in her suggestion. But her eyes are still focused on Percy, she might not say it out loud but she values his opinion.
"Actually" he says after a beat, his voice softer now. "that’s not a bad idea. If we rotate shifts, we could cover both."
Clarisse rolls her eyes at Percy, but she finally concedes. “Fine. That works.”
y/n allows herself a small, satisfied smile. Percy catches it, and he can’t help the grin that spreads across his own face.
He knows this isn't the first time she was able to calm him down or change his perspective on something, it probably won't be the last either. He'd simply listen to her anytime.
7. Shares his interests with me
It takes Percy a lot of convincing to get her to even step into the water. She’s suspicious of his plan and stalls for ages before finally caving to his begging and jumping in.
It’s worth it, though, because Percy gets to hold her close under the guise of teaching her how to swim.
"Okay don't panic." He says gently as he guides her into the water. "just lay on your back and try floating, i've got you."
She gives him a skeptical look, but he smiles and hesitantly places his hands on her waist, gently guiding her to lie back. His touch is steady, reassuring, and slowly, she begins to relax.
"There you go, see? it wasn't that hard." Percy says softly, not wanting to disrupt the peace of the moment.
"Well, i'm not drowning, so that's a win" she jokes, earning a chuckle from Percy.
As the time goes on, Percy shows her how to kick her legs, how to paddle with her arms, and she was able to float by herself in no time, clumsily treading through water while she laughed.
"You're a natural." he says, though he's already missing holding her close.
She splashes him, when he laughs, she has to ignore the way her heart flutters in her chest. "Maybe I just have a great teacher."
By the time the sun started to set in the sky, they had spent hours swimming around, splashing each other and laughing. Being able to see her smile while she floats close to him, Percy feels his chest tighten, a warm spreading through him.
"I-" love you. Percy is able to catch himself before the words can slip out of his mouth. "thank you for coming with me."
Her eyes sparkle like they're holding a million stars in them. "Thank you for teaching me how to swim."
Percy's in love, and he knows he won't be able to keep it to himself for much longer.
8. stargazes with me
The moon is high in the sky by the time they climb out of the water, the gentle sounds of waves lapping against the shore filling their ears. The air is cooler now, and y/n shivers as droplets of water trickle down her skin.
Percy notices immediately, and he grabs a towel, wrapping it around her shoulders as they sit down on the pier. "Here."
"Thank you." She smiles at him warmly.
For a moment, they sit in silence, their feet dangling over the edge of the pier, toes grazing the water. The sky above them is impossibly clear, stars scattered across the sky. The moonlight casts a soft glow on Percy's face, and she can't help but stare at him just a little longer than she'd like to admit.
She quickly looks away when he turns to glance at her, busying herself with admiring the sky instead. "it's beautiful out here."
"Yeah." he replies, his eyes fixated on her. "it is."
She doesn’t notice at first, too distracted by the way the constellations seem to shine just for them. But when she turns her head to make a comment, she catches him looking at her instead of the sky.
Her heart skips a beat, but she tries to ignore her reaction behind a small laugh. "Do you know the constellations?"
"Not really." he admits, shrugging. "I mean, I know of a few, but I always end up mixing them up."
She smiles softly, pointing at a small cluster of stars. "That one's Orion's belt."
Percy squints at the sky, following her finger. "Oh right, I see it now."
Just like that, they fall into an easy rhythm of pointing out constellations, or at least trying to. When they can’t find one, they make up their own, laughing as they assign ridiculous names to each star.
Eventually, the laughter fades away and they're left with the sound of waves crashing to fill the silence. She hums happily, resting her head on Percy's shoulder.
"Thank you for today." she murmurs softly.
Percy feels a warm on his chest he's become too familiar to. "Anytime."
9. always tells me the truth
it takes a week for y/n to notice the list is missing. And she's immediately panicking. She had written that list as a spur of the moment, something so personal she couldn't even think about sharing it with anyone.
As her siblings leave for breakfast, she stays behind. She has already torn her side of the cabin apart, but there’s no sign of the pink paper she used to write the list.
She's full on freaking out when someone knocks on her door. She's about to tell whoever is at the door to go away, but then she turns around and finds Percy standing by the doorway.
The effect is immediate. Just the sight of him makes her body relax, even if only slightly. Percy has always had that effect on her, it's like the world slows down for a moment, and the chaos in her mind quiets.
"Hey, I wanted to talk to you" he smiles at her, but once he notices her panicked expression, he raises his eyebrows hesitantly. "Are you okay?"
She freezes, unsure whether to lie or spill everything. But as her eyes meet his, she crumbles under his gaze.
"No" she admits quietly. “I lost something really important.”
Percy steps inside, closing the door behind him. “Maybe I can help you find it, what did you-”
He stops himself mid-sentence just as the realization dawns on him. He knows what she lost. He has it on his pocket.
She doesn’t even seem to notice his sudden change of attitude, she's too busy pacing around the room. "It's a piece of paper but it's personal. And very important. I can't lose it Percy."
Percy has to stop her before she keeps talking. "i have it."
She stops on her tracks, looking up at him with wide, worried eyes. "What?"
Percy takes a deep breath, his fingers trembling as he pulls the pink paper from his pocket. It's Slightly crumpled now, but unmistakable. "I have your list."
y/n's white as a ghost as she silently looks at him, so he keeps talking. "I swear I wasn't trying to snoop or anything. It was just there when I came to find the paintbrush you asked for and I-"
"Did you read it?" she asks, her voice barely a shaky whisper.
Percy nods, guilt flashing across his face. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have, but… I've been working through it."
Her mouth opens, but no sound comes out. Her face flushes with a mix of disappointment and embarrassment, and she snatches the paper from his hand, clutching it tightly.
"Percy you don't understand." she shakes her head, tears gathering on her eyes. "When I wrote this list, I didn’t want anyone to see it, because I didn’t want whoever completed it, did it just because they had to."
He understands where she's coming from, he really does. Which is why he doesn’t panic and simply takes a step towards her, carefully reaching to take her hand. "No you don't understand. y/n, I didn’t do those things because I had to do them, but because I wanted to. Everything on there- it’s stuff I’d already do for you anyway."
Her breath catches in her throat, but she doesn’t take her hand away from him.
"I already love listening to you, and I share my opinions with you because I want you to know the real me. I made that flower because you deserved something special, and I already knew your favorite flowers were peonies. I taught you to swim because I wanted to share that part of my world with you, and every time I spend time with you is because-" he closes his eyes for a moment, he knows he can't keep hiding his feelings." simply because I love you, I love seeing you smile and I love hearing your laugh. So of course, I'd do anything just to spend time around you."
His words take away her breath, but she can only focus on three specific words. "You what?"
"I love you." he replies, no hesitation. "And if this changes anything between us, I’ll understand. But I just can't keep pretending I don't love you."
For a long moment, she stands frozen, clutching the list in her hand. Her heart races wildly, and her hands tremble. But as the truth of his words sinks in, a realization washes over her like a wave.
She thinks back to every moment they’ve shared, how he's always the first person she looks for in a room. She thinks about how she's always looked for his comfort, how he always listened to her and made her feel safe, like she belongs.
She thinks about writing that list. And how it always felt so specific, like no one could surely fulfill it. And it was always because she had one person in mind while writing it. him.
It hits her all at once: she loves him too. She’s been in love with him for longer than she realized.
"Percy" she mumbles, her voice soft and her eyes full with tears. "I love you too."
That's everything he needs to hear. He doesn’t even need to ask for confirmation. He can see it in her eyes. He knows.
Before she adds anything else, Percy leans in, his lips brushing against hers in a soft, tender kiss. It’s everything she imagined and more, and she knows in that moment that every word he said was true.
She loves him. She’s sure of it now, just as sure as she is that he loves her.
When he pulls back, there’s a smile on his face that makes her heart flutter. He reaches up, lightly tapping the paper in her hand, his voice warm and teasing. "Looks like you can cross the last item off your list."
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