awesomesquared @spilledlaughter - Tumblr Blog

“I'm not crying because of you; you're not worth it. I'm crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.”

- Steve Maraboli

skeletonfumes

Blade of the Immortal (2019)

teathattast

sealedwithmusk

و ما نحن إلا أرواح عابرة

"We are but souls passing through".

dilemind

please don't be attracted to my light and then come around trying to dim it.

humansofnewyork

“We were high school sweethearts. He came up to me in the hallway one day and I said: absolutely not. I was an honor student. He was smoking weed, running around, getting in trouble. My parents moved our family away from the inner city for a reason, and it was to get away from all that. But I knew his family. I knew where he’d come from. And also: sometimes I can see things. I’d pay attention. I’d watch him with his friends. And I could tell: this is not him. I knew he didn’t see himself in that space forever. And that’s been the most beautiful thing, of like, everything. Watching that transition. Seeing it all from the beginning: him figuring out that he was worthy of more. It took a while. There were times he messed up, and I won’t make excuses for that. There were lulls. We’d date other people for a while, but every time he’d come back hard. And not just like: ‘I’m sorry, babe. Please take me back.’ He’d put in more effort. He’d grow. And now he’s gotten to a place where he has a much better understanding of his existence. He’s a vegan. He meditates every day. And he’s very serious about it; he’s descriptive about the reasons he changed his life. A lot’s been thrown at him recently. Both of us work at underprivileged schools, which can be exhausting. But I’ve seen him stay up for twenty-four hours, go to work, then come home and still be present. He’s a nurturing father. He’s a protector. It wasn’t always in him. But it’s in him now. And not to toot my own horn, but I saw it. What I saw was this. Exactly this.”

lemondropdancer

Grounding Techniques

Mental Distraction Techniques

Pick a category of objects and try to think of as many objects as possible that fit within that category (e.g., types of dogs, cities, types of trees, crayon colors, sports)

Pick a letter and think of emotionally positive or neutral words that begin with that letter

Pick a color and look for things of that color. Notice differences in their exact shades

Say or think the alphabet backwards or alternate letters and numbers (A1, B2, C3, D4, etc)

Count backwards from 100 by 3s, 6s, or 7s or count up by prime numbers or perfect squares

Play “fizz-buzz” with yourself. Begin counting to 100 (or over!), but replace any number that contains the number 5 or is a multiple of 5 with the word “fizz” and any number that contains the number 7 or is a multiple of 7 with the word “buzz.” For example, 1-15 would be “1, 2, 3, 4, fizz, 6, buzz, 8, 9, fizz, 11, 12, 13, buzz, fizz.” When you mess up, compliment yourself and start over

Think of the words to your favorite song or poem or think of facts related to a specific theme

Pick a word or your name and see how many other words you can make from the letters in it

Describe an every day event or process in great detail, listing all of the steps in order and as thoroughly as possible (e.g., how to cook a meal, how to get from your house to your place of work or school, how to do your favorite dance)

Read something technical or meant for children or read words backwards to focus on the process of reading and not the words

Watch a children’s television show or movie or watch cute or funny videos on Youtube; it might help to have a playlist already prepared for this

Look at a current news article that is not likely to be upsetting or distressing

Distract yourself with Tetris, Solitaire, Sudoku, word searches, or other puzzle games

Reorientation Techniques

Say or think to yourself: “My name is _________. I am safe right now. I am _____ years old. I am currently at _____________. The date is _____________. If I need help, I am with ________/can call _________. Everything is going to be alright.”

List reaffirming statements (“I am fine. Everything is going to be okay. I am strong. I can handle this.”)

Ask yourself where you are, what day of the week it is, what day of the month it is, what month it is, what year it is, what season it is, how old you are, and other present-focused questions

Notice things in your surroundings that indicate to you that you’re safe or that you’re in the present (e.g., locks on your door, electronics that didn’t exist when you were younger, the presence of trusted people, a phone so that you can call for help if you need it)

Describe your surroundings in detail, including sights (objects, textures, shapes, colors), sounds, smells, and temperature

Name five things that you see, four that you feel, three that you hear, and two that you smell or taste, and then name one good thing that you like about yourself

Pick four or five brightly colored objects that are easily visible and move your focus between them. Be sure to vary the order of your gaze and concentrate briefly on each one before moving to the next

Think about a fun time that you recently had with a friend or call that friend and ask them to talk about it with you

Sensory-Based Grounding Techniques

Run cool or warm (but not too cold or hot) water over your hands or take a cool or warm bath or shower

Spritz your face (with eyes closed), neck, arms, and hands with a fine water mist

Spray yourself with your favorite perfume and focus on the scent

Feel the weight of your body in your chair or on the floor and the weight of your clothing on your skin

Touch and hold objects around you. Compare the feel, weight, temperature, textures, colors, and materials

Keep a small object with you to touch or play with when you get triggered. Good examples include a smooth stone, a fidget toy, jewelry, or a tiny plushy

Bite into a lemon, orange, or lime, suck on a sour or minty candy or an ice cube, chew cinnamon-flavored gum, or put a few drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue. Notice the flavor, scent, and texture

Eat something or drink warm tea, coffee, or hot chocolate, and describe to yourself the taste and texture in great detail

Place a cool wash cloth on your face or hold something cold like a can of soda

Listen to soothing or familiar music. If possible, dance to it

Hum, sing, recite poetry, or make up a silly poem or story as you go

Pick up a book and read the first paragraph out loud

Hug another person (if interpersonal touch isn’t a trigger). Pay attention to your own pressure and the physical sensations of doing so

Hug a tree! Register the smells of being outside, the wind, and the sights around you

Movement-Based Grounding Techniques

Breathe deeply and slowly and count your breaths

Grab tightly onto your chair or press your feet against the ground as firmly as you can

Rub your palms and clap your hands or wiggle your toes within your socks. Pay attention to the physical sensation of doing so

Stretch out your arms or legs, roll your head on your neck, or clench and unclench your fists

Stomp your feet, walk around, run, jump, ride a bike, do jumping jacks, or do yoga

While walking, notice each footstep and say to yourself “right” and “left” to correspond with the foot currently moving

Squeeze a pillow, stuffed animal, or ball

If you have a soft pet (dog or cat), brush its fur and stroke it. If you don’t, brush your own hair slowly and without pulling too much

Color in an adult coloring book, finger paint, or draw anything that comes to mind without worrying about quality

Write whatever comes to mind even if it’s nonsense. Try not to write about whatever is upsetting you until you’re more capable of doing so without increasing the upset

Write a list of things that make you happy or look for cheerful pictures to make into a collage

Pop bubble wrap or blow and pop actual bubbles

Dig in the dirt or garden, jump on a pile of leaves, or splash around in puddles or mud

Rip up paper or stomp on aluminum cans to crush them

Imagery Techniques

Picture yourself breathing in relaxation, calm, positive feelings, or strength. Picture yourself breathing out whatever is upsetting you. It may help to pair this with imagery of breathing in soothing colors (usually blue, purple, or green) and out more intense colors (usually red or black)

If you need to relax, envision a soothing white or golden light slowly moving up your body, warming and relaxing every part of you that it touches. You can also think of it as protecting you from negativity or from harm

If the problem is intense or uncomfortable emotions, physical sensations, or memories, picture them being surrounded and neutralized by a bright and healing light, temporarily placed in a mental box to be stored for later, or dialed back by an internal controller of intensity

If you have a clear mental picture of what’s upsetting you, mentally change it to something silly or harmless. If you’re a fan of Harry Potter, cast a mental “riddikulus” to banish the negativity

Picture yourself calm, focused, and able to tackle whatever problems you’re facing. Focus on how that would feel in the moment. What would your expression and posture be like? Make whatever changes you need to in order to make your reality reflect your goal

How to Make a Grounding Box

Get a box or basket

Personalize and decorate it with construction paper, wrapping paper, ribbon, stickers, drawings, paint, photographs, glitter, sequins, or anything else that you like

Keep within it:

A list of grounding techniques that you know work for you

A list of positive affirmations and happy memories

A list of the contact information of trusted friends or family who are willing to help and support you

Small sensory objects such as: scented candles, perfumes, or lotions; hard candies or gum; soft fabrics, a stress ball, a stuffed animal, or a fidget toy; happy pictures of you with friends; a CD with relaxing music or meditation tracks. Try to cover all of the senses

A list of possible distractions such as books to read or movies to watch

Small portable distractions such as a pack of playing cards, a small game, or a joke book

A list of comforting things to do such as taking a bubble bath, snuggling up in bed, or meditating

A small journal or notebook

In the Case of a Flashback

Tell yourself that you are having a flashback and are safe now

Remind yourself that the worst is over, and you survived it. What you’re feeling now is just a reminder of that trauma and does not fit the present moment

Remind yourself of when and where you are, who you’re currently with, and who you can contact if you need help (use the reorientation-focused grounding techniques)

Breathe deeply and slowly. Count your breathes and make sure that you’re getting enough air

Use other mental, sensory, movement, and imagery techniques in order to distract yourself, calm yourself, and reorient yourself within the present

If possible or necessary, go somewhere where you can be alone or with a close friend, where you will feel safe, or where you feel protected or shielded

If there is anyone who you can trust or who will support you, reach out to them, let them know what happened, and let them know what you need, what would be best for you, or what they could do to help

Be gentle with yourself and take the time to really recover. If what helps you to recover is to color, take a bubble bath, hug a stuffed animal, or watch a children’s movie and if it would not be disruptive to do such things at that point in time, embrace those options whole-heartedly

If possible, note or write down what triggered the flashback, what techniques you tried to use to disrupt the flashback, and what techniques helped

vansfriend

dissociationdays

Grounding

WHAT IS GROUNDING?

Grounding is a set of simple strategies to detach from emotional pain for example (cravings, self harm urges, emotional eating behaviour etc.) Grounding can also be a way of returning your attention to the outside world and away from yourself. In the case of dissociation.

WHY PRACTICE GROUNDING TECHNIQUES?

When you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain control over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you are more likely to be able to overcome urges. Grounding ‘anchors’ you to reality.

Many people with PTSD and dissociative disorders struggle with either feeling too much (overwhelming emotions and memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation). In grounding, you attain balance between the two—conscious of reality and ability to tolerate it.

GUIDELINES:

§ Grounding can be done any time, anywhere and no one has to know.

· § Use grounding when you are: faced with a trigger, having a flashback or dissociating.

· § Keep your eyes open, look around the room, and make sure the light is good to stay in touch with the present.

· § Rate your mood before and after to test whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of

· § emotional pain, or your level of dissociation. Then re-rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?

· Try not to make judgements or think negatively. The idea is to distract from the negatives.

· § Stay neutral—no judgments of good or bad.

· § Focus on the present, not the past or future.

· § Grounding is much more active than relaxation exercises and focuses your attention.

Grounding is deemed to be a better way of coping with PTSD and dissociative disorders than relaxation practice. As during relaxation the focus is too much within the body, which at the worst may bring on flashbacks.

WAYS TO GROUND

MENTAL GROUNDING

o ♣ Describe to yourself in detail your surroundings: For example “The walls are white, there are three pink chairs and a blue sofa. There is a picture of a brown border collie on the wall with a gold frame around it.” You can do this out loud if appropriate, or in your head if you are in public.

o ♣ Play a game like “Scattergories” in your head or with a friend or family member. Choose a letter of the alphabet and try and come up with as many examples of a category you choose as you can. For example C … Boys names: Christopher, Curtis, Carl, Charles etc.

o ♣ Do an age progression. IThis can be particularly useful if you have dissociated or regressed to a younger alter or state. For example in my experiences I have an alter who is three. So I might say… Now I am four, I am at home with Mummy and Daddy and I can do (an example of an age appropriate activity) alone. Work your way up until you are back to your current age. This may not always work for little alters, but can help.

o ♣ Describe an everyday activity in great detail. For example if you like gardening “I open the shed door and pull out the lawn mower, I connect it to a power supply and climb on. I turn the key and put it into drive….”

o ♣ Imagine. For example make up a nice little story in your head, or out loud. “I am putting some roller skates on, and I am slowly gliding away from all my emotional suffering down a beautiful smooth lane, having fun listening to my favourite music LOUD!”

o ♣ Say a safety statement. ‘My name is _________; I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am in _____________ the date is _____________.

· ♣ Read something, saying each word to yourself. Or read each letter backwards so that you focus or the letters and not on the meaning of words.

· ♣ Use humour: For example have a “Funny Memory Bank” where you store up your favourite witty moments for those detached, rainy days.

· ♣ Count to 100 or say the alphabet very slowly or very fast.

· ♣ Repeat something meaningful to yourself, such as a prayer or quote. For example you could use the Serenity Prayer.

PHYSICAL GROUNDING

û Run cool or warm water over your hands.

û Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you can.

· û Touch various objects around you: a pen. keys, your clothing, the table, the walls. Pay close attention to colours, weights, textures etc.

· û Firmly stamp your feet on the floor, literally grounding yourself. Feel the tension of your feet against the pressure of the floor.

· û Carry a ground object in your pocket—a small object such as a rock, stone, crystal, bead, piece of string or cloth, or a stress ball that you can touch whenever you feel triggered.

· û Jump up and down.

· û Stretch reach upwards and pull yourself tall. Extend your arms, legs, fingers and toes.

· û Walk slowly, noticing each footstep.

· û Eat something yummy. Notice the flavours, textures and feelings that come up for you.

SOOTHING GROUNDING

· ♥ Use Cheerleading statements, as if you were talking to a small child. For example “You are having a difficult time adjusting to these chanes, but you are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself.”

· ♥ Think of favorites. Think of your favorite color, animal, season, food, time of day, TV show.

· ♥ Picture people you care about. Even get a photobook made of positive pictures or pictures of people you love! Such a simple nice way to ground, and you can get A4 photo books at the moment from GroupOn for under £7!! (I in no way endorse them I just thought it was a good offer!)

· ♥ Remember the words to an inspiring song, quotation or poem that you like or feel positively about. Maybe write out the words and decorate it for your wall.

· ♥ Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very soothing it could be when you went on holiday to the beach, or walking in the woods. Or just a time you felt safe and peaceful at home in your living room or in bed.

· ♥ Plan out a safe treat for yourself, such as a trip to a coffee shop with a friend, making a nice dinner or a bath with some nice toiletries or candles if you feel safe to use them

· ♥ Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week. Perhaps schedule your time so you build some structure for chores and pleasurable activities. It can help to know what you are doing and also not just sit at home with nothing to do. This can cause difficulties.

WHAT IF GROUNDING DOESN’T WORK?

♠ Practice as often as possible. Even when you don’t feel overwhelmed or dissociative. This way it will come more naturally to you when you are struggling.

♠ Practice faster. Speeding up the pace gets you focused on the outside world quickly. ♠ Try grounding for a Ioooong time 20 mins at least, and then repeat !! ♠ Try to notice whether you do better with physical or mental or soothing grounding.

♠ Create your own methods of grounding. Any method you make up may be worth much more than those you read here because it is yours.

♠ Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle. Start when you begin to feel the early warning signs of dissociation or when you have just started having a flashback.