fantasy costco: where all your dreams come true

•mitch•19•ny•they/them•my art

[favoritelatina]

Someone: *uses proper grammar and puts dots at the end of a text*

Me: 🔫🔫🔫🔫 are u threatening me??? 🔫

[the-moonlight-witch]

[severalowls]

The “Alexa play [X]” meme was created in a lab by a team of marketing scientists paid $3 an hour without breaks or air conditioning by Jeff Bezos himself and if you don’t reblog any versions Alexa uploads your middle school fanfic history directly to the CIA.

[lumi-lion]

this is so sad alexa assassinate jeff bezos

[kittensnax]

FPS

first person sippy

[cwunch]

♡

[kailysander]

[petragraphy]

More at Petragraphy

[nocuer]

You ain’t at your lowest till you sit down in a standing shower

[birdrhetorics]

my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba

[thyrell]

a necromancer is just a really late healer

[thyrell]

“you’re too late, doc, he’s…he’s already dead…”

*cracks knuckles* i didnt get my medical license revoked for nothing

[agoatinthecircus]

i like idea of a necromancer that can bring back the dead but doesnt know how to cure the living so has to wait for someone to die before bringing them back

[thyrell]

“hey doc do you have any splints I think I fractured my ankle”

*cocks gun* no but I’ll do you one better

[ly-000]

[sunsetwish]

[capitangoosie]

[hirxeth]

Bottle Rocket (1996) dir. Wes Anderson 

[platypusplayhere]

when in doubt slap His ass

[lordmeowdemort]

His is capitalized….are you talking about god’s ass?

[myheadislostintheclouds-deactiv]

are you in doubt? just slap His ass

[princeandreis]

i know what mbmbam stands for but every time i see it my brain goes “mmbmmmabmbmamam”

[wave-vapor]