a head core who majored in gut cores

run by spook: INFP 6w7 3w2 9w1 so/sp | indefinite hiatus

[headlesstypo]

Soc

[krayfishthetypelessblob]

Since most type 4s descriptions are too idealistic, then how would you describe them?

Again, sorry for the 10 year wait.  My descriptions would probably not be drastically different from normal descriptions, but accent some of the “image triad” characteristics that descriptions sometimes ignore or crop out “4 designated traits” that people with clinical depression or who perceive themselves of being especially creative or free thinking that aren’t 4 would mistake for 4 traits.

In my understanding, 4s as an image type fear having no discernable sense of self.  The traits they consider intrinsically theirs and will latch onto in their conception of the self, therefore, are those which they feel are specifically different from the norm, which is inclusive to both positive and negative traits (but is skewed towards the negative).  Often somewhat unconsciously, to maintain a sense separation from others and identity, they will specifically cultivate an “ideal identity” based on traits that they desire to possess or that directly are in contradiction with how they believe the majority of people to be.  In the positive, this results in a peculiar level of openness to both the negative aspects of themselves as well as well as to the world that most would be uninclined to explore.  In the negative, this orientation is often limiting to the true “authenticity” that people of this type often seek, as it can make the 4 closed off to often more “normal” or basic experiences or traits that would be disconnected from the romanticized self as well as creates a back and forth between a keen awareness and identification with personal weakness and defects as well as well as the narcissism and self-absorption associated with one who specifically identifies themselves in their separation from everything and their self-perceived willingness to experience and the world in both its highs and lows.

Experience as a 4 has been depicted elsewhere as being similar to being a canvas in an art studio, with each new experience and interaction being one which paints some new pattern or figure atop it.  This should not be conflated with the basic sensitivity to the world often associated with introversion nor the tendency for other types, specifically 9, to have a self which is highly affected by the world around them.  4’s view the world through the lens of their emotions and the “romanticization” of life and the self (in parentheses because romanticization often has an overly optimistic connotation).  Highly effected by the emotional impact that the world has on them, these experiences are often quickly absorbed into “self,” which leads to the struggle for 4s to separate experience from their feelings towards it as well as a connection to the defense mechanism of introjection.  Especially in average to low levels of health, 4s become especially attuned to the negative aspects of their experience, identifying with this and neglecting the more positive aspects of this experience.  This often leads to further romanticization of an ideal world or circumstances that they don’t have access to, but desire to connect with. This idealization is often connected with a rumination of the self and aspects of both that and the outside world which prevent access to these ideals and are often highly disconnected from action. Often there is the desire “to be saved” from drudgery and brought to their ideal without the struggle that would ensue to get there (connecting to their withdrawn nature) Integration, naturally, would push towards 1, where 4s begin to put cognitive effort into creating these ideals in reality, not just daydreaming or imagining how such a reality should or could be.

It is important to differentiate the above from the experience of depression or depressive instances.  For 4, there is a certain pleasure and satisfaction that comes with their suffering and the above is not by necessity a sad or miserable experience for the 4.  It is these experiences and visions are felt to be theirs exclusively.  Their sensitivity to these experiences often makes it very difficult for 4s to relate to others and accept others’ descriptions of their experience or their personality, as there is a certain level of pride that comes from experiencing the world differently from others whether it is true or not.  In this, 4s while often unsatisfied are often not absolutely miserable or even sad by default whereas in depression this feeling of melancholy is often a persistent drain which lacks the above stated “benefits.”

4s are often falsely portrayed as “not caring what others think about them.” The opposite is often more accurate. Not only is 4 an image type, but it’s connected to enneagram 2 by disintegration.  It is especially important for their experiences to be acknowledged by others as well as that separation from others to be acknowledged by others, though awareness of this trait is not always there.  Everyone wishes to be understood, but 4 wishes to be understood in the way they experience themselves.  The desire for attention and to be loved for who they are (or perceive themselves to be) is a huge focus of their life, often paired with the fear or conception that they may not be able to be loved for who they are.  When they feel especially unacknowledged, they will emphasize these traits outwardly while also withdrawing within themselves over this disconnection, seeing it as idealized but unattainable.  In a sense, the latter can close them off from the very thing they seek.

I could’ve wrote far more probably and specifically outlined how 4 connects to it’s respective triads, but I think this covers the basic bits of how I conceptualize 4 (and emphasizes areas in which common descriptions become a bit idealized, especially when written by 4s themselves).  I’d be happy to answer further questions if there’s any confusion here.

[spooks-typology]

turns out im a 6 core 😲.... may be an infp too, im trying it on... we full of realizations in here

[spooks-typology]

definitely an infp and also turns out I have a 3 fix :) best upgrade I've gotten to my type actually. I have a competency+assertive fix now.

[delightfullygrace]

The Types as Surreal Memes: Enneagram

Type 1:

Type 2:

Type 3:

Type 4:

Type 5:

Type 6:

Type 7:

Type 8:

Type 9:

[spooks-typology]

turns out im a 6 core 😲.... may be an infp too, im trying it on... we full of realizations in here

[spooks-typology]

4 fix: im baby

3 fix: I'm successful.

2 fix: Im adorable housewife :)!

[mbti-notes]

What make an enfp a good adviser? How can I become one? When I use my Fi I just can't seem to help people but understand their pain/ their response to their problems, but when I do try to help I feel like I'm using my Te and therefore being insensitive. Do you have any thoughts on this please?

Do you not realize that, oftentimes, empathizing is the first step of a solution? Help is not about forcing someone to do what you believe they should do or doing it for them; it’s about getting someone into the right frame of mind to want to confront their problems on their own. Otherwise, the help isn’t likely to stick for very long. A lot of people actually already know what they “should” do to improve their life, but they can’t do it because they’re not in the right frame of mind. Once they’re in the right frame of mind, then and only then are they ready (i.e. have the mental energy and motivation) to learn the necessary tools for success. 

The “insensitivity” you describe is misuse of Te. Healthy Te would immediately stop and change course upon being confronted with poor results. Healthy Te doesn’t take failure personally but uses it as a chance to work smarter. But even with healthy Te, if you only use Te, you’ll fail to realize that: 1) you simply aren’t able to fix every problem, and 2) some problems require much more patience, reflection, and time to resolve (since it is quite a journey to address a person’s frame of mind). And if you only use Ne+Te, you’ll always believe that the “ideal” goal you envision is universally “the right answer”, without understanding that solutions to human problems must be carefully tailored to the specific individual’s psychology and their unique circumstances. 

Being a good adviser requires having good judgment, which means having well-developed judging functions that properly complement each other. For ENFPs, it is using Fi and Te well together to ensure that you come up with creative and compassionate ideas that are carefully tailored for the other person to execute well. 

[spooks-typology]

tagged by @btchology

rules: put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up without skipping any songs.

1) Glory of Cyrodiil by Jeremy Soule

2) No one like you by BarlowGirl

3) Feeling Good by Michael Buble

4) Wouldn't It Be Nice by the Beach Boys

5) March of the Marauders by Jeremy Soule

6) Rito Village (night) by The Versions, covered from LoZ:BotW

7) Sugar by Maroon5

8) Wouldn't It Be Nice again, but the 8th unique song here was Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

9) Unwell by Matchbox Twenty

10) Heaven Knows by Five for Fighting

tagging: anyone who wants to do it ❤

[curious-intj]

[spooks-typology]

More yter types in no particular order:

ProZD/SungWon Cho: INTP 9w8 947 sp/so or so/sp, I'm guessing. Humor is very deadpan ne and descriptors (see: food review videos) are Highly si based. "It tastes like a ghost got lit on fire and died in this soup."

Moonkitti (With an I as in Typology): ENFP 9w8 4w3... 6 fix? so/sp or sp/so. More deadpan ne, but with tert te based "This fact..... but wrong!" Love her. She is an Enfp. But that's not surprising. Everyone is an enfp.

Lindsay Ellis: ISTJ. Not sure of her fixes, but sp/so. Maybe 9 and 5?

Nerrel: INTP 9w8, 5w6 in some order. Sp/so maybe? Scathing. Love him.

GingaNinjaOwO (Reagan): ENFP 7wp6 793? soc dom. She's so fun, love her art, love her,,

Sideways: Also seems INTP, probable 9 and 5 fixes, but much gentler than Nerrel (Nerrel has w8+w6 based deadpan+edginess, visible in Moonkitti too.)

[mbti-notes]

Is it normal for an INFP to feel so disconnected from her own body that it feels weird to be perceiced by others as a separate entity and thus engaged with? I often whish I was a ghost who can just mindlessly explore different ideas or reflect on different situations or observe how other people interact, rather than forced to have a body and deal with the world. Many times I caught myself while performing a task and felt jarred by the fact that I am in a body and that I exist at all.

You seem to be describing inferior Se

[confusedinfj]

Cognitive Functions and What They Look Like Explained with Objects

I’m going to attempt explain the cognitive functions better than I have before, and hopefully in a lot more depth. The risk with this is that it could be wrong, but at least an attempt was made. I’m not an academic or anything, I’m just writing from observation/experience stuff that I find helpful to understand. Hopefully this can help you type yourself more accurately too!  All functions are described as they are in the first 2. 

I hope this helps you see how EVERY FUNCTION IS IMPORTANT!

And no. None of these objects really make sense. 

Fe: The Thermostat

A thermostat can’t feel whether it’s hot or cold itself, but it can feel if you are! And depending on how fancy your thermostat is, it will cool you or heat you until you’re just the temperature you want to be. That is its single goal in life: to keep you comfortable. If you’re sad, it will try to fix it. 

Basically, Fe is about everyone being genuinely happy and comfortable. It wants to be in touch with other people and respond to their needs accordingly. It’s not necessarily good at showing or expressing this, but that’s its aim. 

Well developed Fe is the function that encourages open discussion of problematic feelings that it KNOWS are right there - remember, it can FEEL them, cos it’s a thermostat. Poorly developed Fe ignores unspoken problems and pretends it’s a good little thermostat anyway. 

If you’re upset with a Fe user, just tell them calmly. If you need space, just tell them calmly. If you’re angry, tell them why. READJUST THE THERMOSTAT. Don’t be surprised when the Fe user does the same - that’s their way of trying to keep everyone happy in the long run. Good Fe believes arguments are necessary. Bad Fe is passive aggressive and let things build up until they’re too big to handle. If you sense your Fe user is doing this, approach them about it and get it out while you still can. Fe users don’t talk about issues with emotions most of the time - they speak about feelings clinically. It helps if you explain to a Fe user how the problem makes you feel, but also that you still love them.

High Fe - is a natural thermostat. It doesn’t even realise that’s how it operates, it just DOES. High Fe users can struggle to even FEEL that they have their own problems, and can easily be ignored as a result (sheeple). As their Ti develops, they should become a little more self aware, and better at turning their natural thermostat off every now and again so they get a break. A key feature of high Fe users is that they’re just ALWAYS THERE. You might hate them, get sick of them, find them annoying, or feel like they don’t understand you… but they’re always there. Always trying. Immature high Fe is very sensitive to extreme temperatures, but with Ti development comes a bit more separation and ability to help you through, even if you’re not responding to their attempts at cooling/heating you. Because constantly living as a thermostat requires you to learn that SOMETIMES you just can’t change the weather. So at the end of the day, even though they’re not a T type, well developed high Fe users can actually be less sensitive and more useful in a rough patch than their low Fe counterparts. 

Low Fe - is a thermostat with emergency settings. It kicks in at unusually high or low temperatures and gets it back into humanly-survivable temperatures. As Fe develops, low Fe users become more sensitive to other people’s temperatures and can regulate the environment a little better. While low Fe users aren’t naturally very sensitive to your extreme temperatures, they can become suddenly overwhelmed and deeply upset if things go too far and they’re the reason you’re not doing so well. With good character development, which is totally SEPARATE from MBTI, a low Fe user can become just as good at maintaining the perfect temperature as a high Fe user. It will just take a little more effort and skill. BUT, since they’re not always used to being a thermostat, they’re not always aware of what’s the weather and what’s their fault. So at the end of the day, even though they’re not an F type, well developed low Fe users actually seem to be more sensitive and fragile than their high Fe counterparts.

Fi: The Thermometer

The thermometer can’t really do anything about the weather - it can just tell you what’s going on. Fi users are very sensitive to what’s going on around them, and feel the need to regulate the climate they’re in as much as possible. That is: going against their own feelings can actually be painful for them. They feel a very strong NEED to be who they are. Fi is about being in touch with yourself and your own emotions/beliefs/you name it. Bad Fi can easily be selfish, but good Fi has the capacity to help where Fe stands… clueless. 

Good Fi values you feeling good too! Fi users CAN apply their thermometer to others and get a reading on how hot/cold their climate is. They can’t feel your emotions like the Fe thermostats, but if you express emotion they can essentially measure it. Good Fi users try to help you in any way they would feel would be helpful if they were in your shoes. This means Fi users are much better at showing sympathy than Fe users.

If you’re upset with a Fi user, you have to tread carefully. They can be easily hurt, and will definitely take things the wrong way if you don’t articulate it correctly. The clinical approach of Fe users is often not appreciate, because it’s interpreted as cold, uncaring, or worse - nasty. You’ll have to express a lot more emotion when talking to a Fi user. From what I’ve found, you have to approach Fi with Fi, so I’ve never managed to do this successfully. It always becomes a fight for like an hour until finally the Fi user understands what I was trying to say. So, from what I’ve found, Fi finds the Fe approach hostile, but responds better to genuine displays of emotional vulnerability.

High Fi - is a natural thermometer. It knows what it’s feeling, what it believes in… all that jazz. It finds it hard to compromise its feelings and beliefs for ANYTHING or ANYONE. It can be kind and sensitive as a result, but also very fragile and easily overwhelmed. Well developed Fi users learn to work through the emotional instability of thermometer life, but immature Fi can be unstable and selfish. Te development helps high Fi users get on with things and move through whatever they might be feeling. They can apply that same resilience to others who are suffering, and inspire people to get through their emotional lows. So at the end of the day, even though they’re not a T type, high Fi users can function better under emotional pressure and inspire action better than their low Fi counterparts. 

Low Fi - is a thermometer that is usually ignored in favour of getting things done. This means high Te users can be confident and headstrong most of the time, but occasionally have dramatic shut-downs into low Fi. And since they usually ignore their thermometer, they don’t really know what to do about it. HOWEVER, well developed low Fi users can learn to apply their thermometers to others with some skill. And they can be more overwhelmed by others’ emotions because their Fi is so low. So, at the end of the day, even though they’re not an F type, well developed low Fi users can be more sensitive and sympathetic than their high Fi counterparts. 

Te: The Car

The car is designed to get you from point A to B without death or injury. It’s complex, but not too much can go wrong at any given moment. The process itself is fairly simple: engine sparks, wheels go round - drive. Te wants to get to point B quickly, and is focused on action and outcomes. And if you stand in its way, you might get run over. It isn’t necessarily focused on the steps required to get from point A to B, it just sees the end and drives.  

Well developed Te values doing things effectively as well - not just getting them done in the first place. This means Te users can be persuaded to change their approaches and routes providing you can argue that it’s worth it. Te is good at seeing potential in other people, but can make the mistake of seeing the end point and missing the starting point or steps required to develop. 

If you’re upset with a Te user, you’ll have to appeal to Fi. No one likes criticism, not matter how high a T function is! However, high Te users can tolerate and even appreciate the Fe approach to relationships and conflicts, providing they’re not having a low Fi moment. 

High Te - This is life in the car, on the road. Always heading towards a new goal. However, contrary to popular opinion, Te users can actually be very kind and considerate! Providing they’re well developed, Te aims to take care of the people it loves. High Te users can fall into the Te trap of seeing the person’s potential without recognizing they’re not quite there yet. They can be very idealistic and romantic in relationships because their Fi is so low. They can also be angry little cars who run people over if they’re poorly developed or just mean. This is why Te users have a reputation for being cold and controlling. I’ve found Te users only really act like this when they’re succumbing to low Fi. 

Low Te - This is the car that mainly sits in the garage, but occasionally comes out for a Sunday drive. Although, poorly developed low Te looks like saying mean things just to hurt people when you’re upset, or provoking people for a reaction.High Te users definitely go through phases like this when they’re young, but low Te users are more open to these problems when they’re older. Well developed, low Te helps high Fi users overcome their overwhelming feelings and get through things. It may even help them compromise if they absolutely must. 

Ti: The Aeroplane

The aeroplane is designed to take you over long distances very quickly, and as safely as possible. There are back up systems, back up systems for back up systems, and multiple things can go wrong if you forget to do even one simple thing. It’s a much more dangerous process than driving, but it’s also much faster if you’re trying to go far. 

Ti is about understanding things so that you can run your life well. Poorly developed Ti is dysfunctional, but well developed Ti can get you pretty far with very little effort! But unlike Te, Ti isn’t as focused on the end destination so much as it is on the steps required to get there. Every little detail matters, just like on an aeroplane. And if even one small detail has been misunderstood, the Ti users’ entire understanding of something can go crashing down like an aeroplane. They MUST understand the parts to understand the whole. 

If you’re upset with a Ti user, you can refer to the Fe section. Ti users prefer a clinical approach to emotions simply because they want to UNDERSTAND rather than be overwhelmed by negative feelings their thermostat will detect once you start crying in front of them. Ti will then engage thermostat measures to ensure relationship contentment. 

High Ti - Life in the sky as a pilot. The Fe thermostat doesn’t matter so much when you’re trying to make sure you don’t fall out of the sky. High Ti users aim to understand every small thing in life. Poor high Ti users have a faulty misunderstanding and drive everyone insane arguing they’re right. Well developed Ti users have a good understanding, but often enjoy arguing anyway, just to make sure they don’t have any flaws in their understanding. When you’re arguing against yourself, you have to know your stuff pretty well! While they’re not given enough credit for it, high Ti users can be very considerate in relationships, and aim to understand their loved ones just as well as everything else. Ti isn’t satisfied with a functional understanding, so it may provoke and tease to better understand people. And when it goes too far and upsets people, the emergency thermostat kicks in to fix the problem. 

Low Ti - life in the sky as a co-pilot. Low Ti users prefer to take their cues from someone ELSE - preferably the pilot (high Ti user). Low Ti users can be overwhelmed if they have to take on too much responsibility or have to understand too many small details. Then they can feel like a co-pilot taking control of a plane after the pilot has died and the plane is spiraling down. They’d rather do what they’re told and keep the pilot happy! But they also take comfort in knowing that - if it really comes down to it - they can fly the plane and land safely. They like knowing they have back up systems, back up systems for back up systems, and are capable of making it out alive. 

Ne: Google Search Auto-predict

You’re not even finished typing, and Google already has 10 ideas about what you might be asking. That’s the Ne brain - branching out, and out, and out… sometimes a bit TOO out. 

High Ne - Google search auto-predict is always on. It all happens at once, just like how Google suggestions change with every letter you add. And when you finish your question, it’s kind of disappointed you didn’t ask one of the 10 other more interesting ones. Easily bored, always sees a better option… but also very good at picking which option is most realistic. May or may not care.

Low Ne - random auto-predict. Because sometimes Google doesn’t predict anything as you type? That’s a weird phenomenon. But then it’ll just suddenly appear halfway through a sentence? Yeah… like that. Poorly developed low Ne can mistake every new idea as a great idea, but well developed low Ne knows which ones are worth listening to :)

Ni: Google Search Results

Did you mean…? Not only shows you every single possible thing on what you Googled, but also shows you what could be immediately connected to it. 

High Ni - Figures out what you’re looking for based on a few key words that may or may not have made sense - understands your typos. Does it all in seconds, doesn’t really understand the algorithm. Just does it. Can take you down a rabbit hole for hours. Forgets about time as a concept. Sometimes connects strange things, but somehow makes sense anyway. Usually isn’t wrong about what you were Googling. Bad Ni thinks it knows everything though, and forgets it needs to add things to its database. Good Ni is always learning MORE

Low Ni - Like the 20th page of Google Search Results. Doing the same thing as high Ni, but not as effectively. Might have a few conspiracy theories in there. Might’ve misunderstood your question or taken the typos literally. Occasionally gets it right, but the best results are usually on the first page anyway. 

Se: The Camera

Takes a picture of the moment, every detail rendered exactly as it was. 

High Se - High focus camera, good colour, good lighting - the kind of pictures you want to keep forever and frame. Se knows what’s right in front of it. It doesn’t miss anything it can see. Might not understand what’s about to happen, but knows what IS happening. 

Low Se - Like a polaroid camera, and the pictures might not be worth keeping. Awkward shots that are accurate but not great quality. Might be blurry, not really able to see faces… just a LITTLE bit out of focus, so that you miss something that was pretty obvious. Has a kind of artsy vibe though. 

Si: The Diary

Recorded everything, but from a very subjective point of view that may or may not be accurate. Is structured so that it can be read again and again. 

High Si - A very detailed diary. Concerned about detailing every aspect of life. Some pages have been ripped out. Sometimes pages are inserted to add in additional information that may or may not alter the entire memory. A nice little organised diary that’s written very neatly. 

Low Si - A diary that gets an entry once every 6 months or so. Still valued and personal, but a lot is missing. Since it’s less tended to, pages are less likely to be missing or replaced - so what’s written is probably more accurate. There’s just not that much of it. A very badly written diary that’s got coffee stains and might not be entirely legible. 

[slightlyaggressiveaffirmations]

IT’S NOT ONLY OK TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS - IT’S RAD AS FUCK!!!

[intj-a]

Enneagram 2 vs 9

Types 2 and 9 can both seem similar to each other because they’re generally very pleasant people who dislike conflict. In the Harmonic Groups, 2 and 9 are both in the Positive Outlook group, which means they respond to difficulty by maintaining a cheerful attitude, helping others feel good, and denying their problems. 

The difference is that type 2s primarily focus on the needs of others because they believe others will give them love, so they could feel better. They give and give to receive love and feel loved by others so they don’t feel awful and realize their own neediness and disappointment; whereas type 9s focus both on their needs and the needs of others during difficulty, but they focus on the needs of others because they want their environment idealized. They try to solve everyone’s problems because they want their view of their environment to be kept safe. 

During times of extreme stress, twos will exaggerate others’ needs as they grow more and more insecure. They’ll push you into coming up with things to do for them and they’ll keep asking you if you need anything else. They might even realize the resentment they hide deep down and disintegrate to 8, where they’ll rage and not want to do anything for anyone. Nines will feel overwhelmed with all the problems they now have the responsibility of- their own and others’- and will withdraw because they wouldn’t like to deal with any of them. They’re likely to just disappear because now their vision of their environment is ruined and they must deal with it in private. Either that or they disintegrate to 6, making them anxiety-ridden and fearful of judgement and failure. 

This ties in with the types’ social styles, because they can be more noticeable during stress. Type 2s are compliant and move along with others; they act on others’ needs to avoid focusing on their own. During stress, they become too fixated on the needs of others to the point where either they snap or everyone they’re trying to help snaps. Type 9s are withdrawn and move away from others; they mentally zone out and numb their stress because they want the peace derived from their view of the environment. They become disappointed and try to avoid feeling that way, so they numb all their deep feelings until they can’t lie to protect themselves any longer. 

[mangojuulpoddd]

[spooks-typology]

thought I thought I'd write instead of putting in the tags -- this kind of growth is a long, slow process, it's not as simple as choosing. Some choices are there -- the choice to forgive even if you dont feel it, etc., and to do that continually, but changing the habits of your mind and behavior are a lot harder. It's more like slow realization of how much you've grown and where you are now vs where you were. Maturity, I should say. You realize what behaviors and actions were borne out of immaturity, and the values you had at the time, which you can only really act within bc it's all you know (values /=/ morals -- you can always act outside of your morals). Values, being, what you see as important vs unimportant, what you even take into account & process at all... how you see yourself relevant to others. Values change w/o you really realizing they have sometimes, and throw everything behind you into perspective for real. Then --in my experience -- its easier to forgive yourself, realizing you were immature, on the far side of a gap you crossed without noticing.

[personality-studies]

Enneagram and Communication Styles

(Written by:  Sterlin Mosley & Aaron Addonizio from Insightful Innovations)

ENNEATYPE 1

Image Statement: I am right; I am good; I know best; I want perfection. One’s want to communicate to the world that they have it together, and are competent, right, and good moral people even though internally they may feel the opposite.

Energy: Rigid, upright, stiff, contained, solid, stoic, elegant, polished, assured.

Communication Style: Proselytizing, teaching, preaching, informing, telling, educating and elevating. 

Conflict Style: Faultfinding, nitpicking, condescending, poker-faced, unemotional (or explosive if pushed too far), moralizing, admonishing. One’s are triggered by being told they are wrong and will go on the offensive if their character is attacked. They may become moralizing or scolding. Some One’s may retreat for fear of emotional display or may seem cold and distant. 

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 1: Do not tell them they are wrong, but rather find a way you can validate their opinion while holding your ground. Try to avoid the words wrong, incorrect, or bad all together while in an argument lest you escalate it. Help them see the ways in which they are being angry or hurtful (in a gentle way, as 1s have a fear of their own anger).

ENNEATYPE 2

Image Statement: I am helpful; I am nice; I am giving; My will be done; I have what you need. Two’s want to be seen as helpful and kind people because this supports their self image. Two’s will present themselves as someone who has whatever you need whether it is resources or attention.

Energy: Soft on the outside, hard on the inside, seductive, sticky, clingy, flirtatious, nurturing/motherly.

Communication Style: Effusive, relational, heartfelt, emotional, helpful, complimentary and managerial. 

Conflict Style: Dramatic, wet, emotionally explosive, entitled, sulking, martyring, or blustery anger. Two’s are triggered by the message that they are not kind or helpful or by the implication that their efforts to help are not well received. 

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 2: Assure the 2 that you appreciate their efforts and that they are not in vain but remind them that they choose to do whatever it is they are doing. Remind the 2 that you want them to take care of themselves because typically their anger stems from the misdirected feeling of having to care for others. Acknowledge their emotional displays but do not pay too much attention to their histrionics.

ENNEATYPE 3

Image Statement: I am successful; I am a winner, I am impressive, I go for the goal. Three’s want to be seen as someone who is successful and attractive. They will present themselves as popular and accomplished even if internally they feel lacking.

Energy: Tough exterior, hollow, steely, energetic, high powered, glossy, chameleon like.

Communication Style: Expedient, professional, polished, peacocking, bragging, smooth, trendy, competent or mentoring. 

Conflict Style: Evasive, arrogant, superior, dismissive, sly, undermining, narcissistic and condescending. Threes are triggered when they feel undervalued or dismissed. They may become angry when their success and driveness are misunderstood or undermined. 

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 3: Try to set aside a predetermined amount of time to discuss problems. Don’t allow them to smooth things over with promises or apologies if they don’t understand the situation. If in an interpersonal relationship with them try to appreciate the hard work they put in but emphasis the important of relationships. Help them feel comfortable with expressing feelings rather than “just the facts” as this is a method they utilize to prevent feeling too much.

ENNEATYPE 4

Image Statement: I am intuitive; I am deep; I am creative; I am different; I am correct. Fours want to be seen as special and creative and will exaggerate their differences to cover over feelings of being ordinary or mundane.

Energy: Fluid, flowing, poised, sensitive, intense, emotionally charged, melancholy.

Communication Style: Breathy, lamenting, metaphorical, haughty, symbolic, specializing, discriminating.

Conflict Style: Haughty, condescending, emotionally explosive, detached or cold, hatefully articulate. Fours are triggered when they feel misunderstood or the sense anger or abandonment from the other person. Fours can become pointedly articulate and hateful when provoked. 

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 4: Don’t try to have a completely rational discussion devoid of emotional content, it won’t engage them. Try to recognize their intuitive insight while still maintaining your own personal truth (4s like to tell other people what they are feeling, and they are usually onto something). Don’t let their histrionics or emotional outbursts drive you away. Take a time out if necessary so that emotions can calm down. Let them know if you’ve been hurt too and that your feelings are just as important as theirs.

ENNEATYPE 5

Image Statement: I am knowledgeable; I need more time; I am intelligent; I think; I am different. Fives want to be seen as intelligent, rational and idiosyncratic. They may cultivate intelligence to cover over feelings of insecurity.

Energy: Prickly, detached, disembodied, contained, cerebral, removed and remote.

Communication Style: Technical, knowledgeable, unemotional, detached, high strung, know it all, idiosyncratic. 

Conflict Style: Detached, cold, cutting, dispassionate, childlike, passive aggressive, arrogant, overly logical. Fives are triggered by the presence of expectations (particularly emotional expectations) and emotional displays. Fives may become distant or blisteringly angry when faced with an emotional expectation. 

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 5: Try to maintain some emotional stability while arguing. 5s like to keep to the facts of a situation and will detach when emotions get too heated. Walk away from the argument if you are to emotional as you will be unlikely to get a response. Tell them that your feelings are hurt without expecting them to do something about it (they become angry when there are emotional expectations). Don’t let them use knowledge or arrogance as a weapon and remind them you are a person not a robot or computer.

ENNEATYPE 6

Image Statement: I am clever; I must be safe; I am loyal; I am harmless; I am “real”. Sixes want to be seen as responsible, clever and loyal. They may cover feelings of insecurity with ingratiating niceness or sweetness or rebellious provocativeness.

Energy: Mentally active, hyper-vigilant, anxious, contained, suspicious, penetrating, punchy and high strung.

Communication Style: Tentative, funny, friendly, warm (or prickly), engaging, rebellious, provocative.

Conflict Style: Vacillating, blaming, victimizing, distrusting, cross-examining, quick and relentless. Sixes are triggered by feeling mistrustful or feeling blamed. They may become terrier-like and questioning when feelings of insecurity or abandonment are brought up.

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 6: Admit any ulterior motives. Try to stay calm but don’t dismiss them, Find common ground and allay their fears of abandonment or anger. Do not get lost in their arguing circle, if it feels like a marathon walk away. Hold your opinion but don’t be stubborn about seeing their point of view. Do not insult their intelligence or flatter or appease them. Don’t try to win, this will only escalate the argument. Don’t tell a 6 to calm down.

   ENNEATYPE 7

Image Statement: I am free; I am exciting; I am entertaining; I want it all; I am positive. Sevens want to be seen as interesting, entertaining and fun. They may cover over feelings of inferiority or fear of boredom with big plans and interesting stories.

Energy: Amped up, restless, airy and light, quick, spritely, mischievous, fast.

Communication Style: High energy, fun loving, entertaining, storytelling, enthusiastic, evasive, exaggerating. 

Conflict Style: Fleeing, disinterested, condescending, arrogant, unaffected, mocking, explosive tantrums. Sevens are triggered by feeling trapped or limited and may try to flee the conflict or may react explosively to break free of negativity. 

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 7: Try to allow them their space but hold them to a time when the conflict can be resolved, 7s will flee at difficulty and let them know how this affects your relationship. If they try to leave ask them to set aside time for you to discuss it (5s like this too). Don’t harp too much on what they are doing wrong or they’ll shut down. Don’t sugar coat things but try to reframe things so they can take in the information without feeling too threatened.

ENNEATYPE 8

Image Statement: I am strong; I am a survivor, I am in charge; I protect. Eights see themselves as strong and in charge. They want others to recognize their strength and to the extent they feel vulnerable they will project more power.

Energy: Strong, solid, powerful, intimidating, big, overpowering, irreverent, laconic.

Communication Style: Bold, direct, unemotional, matter of fact, brash, impactful, empowering, offensive or limit pushing. 

Conflict Style: Blustery, domineering, violent, unemotional, dismissive, uncaring, rageful, vengeful. Eights are triggered by feeling controlled or dominated or by feelings of abandonment or disloyalty. Eights may become domineering, aggressive or incredibly cold when triggered. 

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 8: Stand your ground and do not waiver in your opinion. They want someone who can hold their own against them. 8s will spar with people they love to test their strength. Try and set ground rules in an argument with an 8 and don’t be afraid to let them know if they hurt your feelings (this often surprises them). Try not to react to their intimidation tactics but don’t egg them on either.

ENNEATYPE 9

Image Statement: I am peaceful; I am calm; I am easy; I am drama free; I am uncomplicated. Nines want to be seen as easygoing and peaceful and may deny problems or negative emotions to cover over secret feelings of anxiety or anger.

Energy: Peaceful, grounded yet spacey, detached, open, sleepy, slow, vacant, doormat.

Communication Style: Peacemaking, agreeable, complacent, stubborn, saga-telling, passive (aggressive), noncommittal, receptive.

Conflict Style: Passive aggressive, stubborn, pacifying, occasionally explosive, sleepy, unaffected, clueless. Nines are triggered by feeling internal chaos or being unable to escape negative feelings or emotions. They may go to sleep to the problem or suddenly become angry and belligerent like Eights or scolding like Ones only to calm down soon after. 

Conflict Resolution Tips with Type 9: : Don’t attack aggressively or take a blaming tone, they will tune you out. Try to acknowledge that they want to find a point of agreement between the two of you. 9s will be afraid of your anger and may become stubborn or withdraw when you begin to show your anger. Assure them that your anger doesn’t mean that you don’t like/love them anymore (unless of course you don’t) but that it’s important to resolve this issue.

[spooks-typology]

4 fix: im baby

3 fix: I'm successful.

2 fix: Im adorable housewife :)!