new blog new me ig

call me noodle, might post art, but honestly this is gonna mostly be reblogs probly,, deleted my ten year old blog for a fresh start and i feel amazing they/them

[starsandsteelandbrokenglass]

Jason, having seen Medea kill and dismember her brother and also kill Pelias for him: Probably I can just divorce her

[best-sharks-bracket]

Guess who was bored out of its mind in math

[masao-micchi]

they should’ve asked agnes because she kept track

[free-range-tiddies]

Can’t believe Peter Griffin really tried it.

[video-store-clerk]

Ok but I’d the second dude like…a vampire? Because my straight ass is bewitched.

[gamebiadvance]

[Transcript:

(the first person has text over them that says “being fat and wanting a girlfriend”)

First person: “See what’s behind this door..!”

(Door has text over it that says “fat girls” while The Toccata and Fugue in D minor plays in the background)

First person: “Noo, is there a bett-”

Second person: “ Yo it’s funny that there’s an entire demographic, of petite women who love bigger men. But because you’ve just ousted yourself, as a cunt, it’s never gonna happen for you mate. You’re really out here body shaming, all these beautiful shawties, big body Bugatti (kiss noise), exquisite; but you’re built like a less cool Bling Bling Boy from Johnny Test. Make it make sense mate. It doesn’t- it really doesn’t. Could’ve kept your mouth shut. But you had to say something. And you even went so far as to put it on the internet. And you thought that was a good idea because-? Please, take yourself elsewhere. Sincerely the entire fucking human race.”

End transcript.]

[thunderboltsortofapenny]

The moment that man started speaking -

[satancheeto]

Okay but he DOES actually sound very suspiciously like Trevor or Alucard from Castlevania

[briagain]

Sir speaks in cursive

[file-under-what]

Dude got taken to the cleaners by the demon of LUST

[commandtower-solring-go]

Imagine getting roasted by The Old God of Fuckin

[microsff]

"I want," the man said to the art robot, and then described an image in some detail. "Certainly," said the art robot. A printout came out of its chest. "Thank y- Hey! What's this?" "A list of artists who make images of the kind you describe, and who are accepting commissions."

[yay855]

This is a horror story to a techbro and a feel-good comedy to anyone with a sense of human decency.

[marinella-ela]

[petermorwood]

It took me a second to register how efficiently the cat engaged reverse gear...

[officialspec]

oh the notes bubble is disgusting. get that out of my sight

[officialspec]

yuck. euggh. bleughf

[officialspec]

this is NOT healthy and actually extremely stressful for the animal. please let them freeroam this is actually sickening

[biglawbear]

I love the Tumblr updates that are like “this does nothing for the user experience but changes something slightly so the devs can feel like they did something”

[thesaltyspice-deactivated201901]

I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-Nazi ones, which is great, but I felt like we needed one to show our support for the Jewish community.  

[bipolar-bubbeleh]

all you goyim I follow - I see you reblogging this and it warms me.

[only-tiktoks]

[awlwren]

[id: cats participating in pole dance practice, often by sitting on conveniently flat poses their humans have struck]./end id.

[lionfloss]

Dozens of sheep spent 12 days in a row walking in a nearly perfect circle on a farm in China’s Inner Mongolia region.

[lionfloss]

[campyvillain]

if i think of baby swordfish again i’m gonna be sent into a coughing fit

[campyvillain]

best baby animal of all time. only the essentials (big funny snout)

[campyvillain]

THERES EVEN SMALLER ONES ARE YOU SERIOUS

[campyvillain]

fr tho imagine being this thing and you grow up into a beast that kills things with its nose what would you even do.

[captainlividllama]

I’d kill things with my fucking nose what else

[monamoni]

[kaijuno]

Violence

[lmaonade]

there is always some fucking laundry and dust and some other shit

[kaliforhnia]

what that mouth do

complain

[julykings]

some more epaulette sharks

[grawly]

[grawly]