I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, āWow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.ā
Way funnier to me than adult heroes finding out Peter is a teenager and becoming Concerned is the idea of adult heroes Retroactively finding out Peter Was a teenager because he admits to being like. 22 and theyāre like āHang on youāve been doing this for like. Seven years.ā and heās like āHaha crazy right? Anyway itās too late for you to yell at me about that because the statue of limitations on that lecture ran out when I turned 18ā
YEAH this trope is instantly more tolerable if itās fully adult Peter being like, *listen up whippersnappers because Iāve been around the block voice* āIām thirty, andāā and Tony Stark, who vaguely assumed Spider-Man is maybe two years older than him because he just has that energy and hasnāt reassessed this for four presidential terms, is like, *drunkenly doing math* āYouāre how manyā
Okay butā¦them trying to talk about Old People Stuff with him, not realizing that he wasnāt alive to remember xyz thing happening, never used xyz technology bc he didnāt exist yet, not expecting him to agree with the fact that some ppl were saying songs they grew up to were oldies, etc
The thing about Peter Parker is that he was raised by senior citizens the way other heroes are raised by wolves. He has the body of an Olympic gymnast and the soul of a malcontented geriatric. This likely contributed to the perpetuation of the accidental ruse.
Itās when he channels Aunt May so hard he makes it sound like he was personally and immediately affected by McCarthyism that the time traveler fringe theory starts really picking up bets.
Pal, I JUST SAID he was raised by AUNT MAY.
Also not to get real on a ha ha comic post but the elderly are not your enemy. There are old progressives.
Peter has a lot of feelings about the woman that discovered DNA and he strikes me as the kind of person that thinks that distancing yourself from notable figures of history by using their last names is stupid, so heās going to say something like,Ā āRosalind worked so fucking hard to have that work snatched from her,ā immediately followed by,Ā āI woulda thumped him good,ā and inspiring Tony and Banner to frantically look through the 1930s and 40s yearbooks at Kingās College and theorize which one was Spider-Man. Captain America tries reminiscing about the good ole days with him. Peter, for his part, has been absently agreeing and making vagueĀ āIām listeningā noises about the Rolling Stones and Elton John for the majority of his life, so adding baseball, Duke Ellington, and Ella Fitzgerald to the list wasnāt thatĀ much of a stretch.
There are only like three genuinely funny additions on this, but this is one of them.
captain america pushing a get out the vote campaign:Ā āspiderman did you voteā
spiderāmanā at 16: uhhhh so about thatĀ
āIā¦canāt.ā āI see. Thatās why itās so important to restore voting rights to felons.ā
