Cheers to the queers

jay, they/he. 20. here for the vibes

[neptunic-loser]

they’ve decreed it

[hare-brained-schemes]

I think I just witnessed the greatest comeback of all time

[snydog17]

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

[snydog17]

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically

[cephalophor]

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

[thewitchway]

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

[careful-crow]

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

[adventuretfox]

He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!

[funkyness]

oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?

[bprinny]

Cainceled 

[kraetys]

This post gets worse every reblog

[this-account-is-a-mistake]

yet im not Abel to scroll past

[schmuckered]

This post hit me like a rock to the head

[nikkoliferous]

This is the quality content that keeps me on Tumblr

[raisinchallah]

literally thank god sex isnt real and was just invented by big fiction to emphasize greater social and psychological themes i was getting scared id have to do all that

[spookberry]

lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls

[schnuffel-danny]

OK bisexual (czech)

[spookberry]

Hell yeah 🤙

[the-ghost-king]

Biczechual

[unwastelandunbaby]

idk I think maybe 2000s/10s feminism talked too much about “unrealistic beauty standards for women” that people forgot “beauty standards for women” is already fucked up

[ao3commentoftheday]

Did you know that AO3 allows fics with homicide in them? There’s a whole tag for Major Character Death and even more tags so you can find exactly what kind of character death you want to read. 

Don’t they know that murder is illegal? You just know there are a bunch of homicidal maniacs out there who love to read those stories. They write them, too, in between killing people. 

Anyone can read the stories on AO3! Kids can read them! They’re getting exposed to stabbing, poisoning, even guns! And they’re writing the heroes doing the killing, too! That’s basically telling kids it’s okay to go out and murder their families. It’s promoting violence and encouraging homicide and if we don’t do something about it soon, you’ll be murdered next!

[zoanzon]

[ao3commentoftheday]

The devil came to my house and tried to burn it down, which is why this post exists in the first place.

[prismatic-bell]

I saw Goody OP writing darkfic with the devil.

[brucespringsteencomments]

[petruchio]

im literally always saying this

[strokingout]

hold on i have to do everything

[cpericardium]

[notedchampagne]

year of our lord 2024 and we still havent found out a solution to Depression that isnt: Sleeping

[notedchampagne]

ah... forgot

[notedchampagne]

can you blame me

[passionpeachy]

I think aliens would find astronauts charming with their stocky limbs and helmets that look like a big shiny eyeball. I think they would own marketable plushies of them or perhaps a labubu style keychain

[acornered]

this is such a cute idea I had to draw it hehe

[aralintheobsessive]

if you want butterflies, you need to live with caterpillars.

i am not being metaphorical, i work in a garden center, stop buying plants 'to bring in the bees and butterflies' and then immediately poisoning every caterpillar that dares to consume a single leaf

you will not get butterflies if you kill all the things that turn into butterflies! what are you doing!

[aralintheobsessive]

getting a lot of responses to this going 'ok but it would be good as a metaphor though' so I will accept a metaphorical interpretation as long as you ALSO (!) promise to be considerate towards larval forms of insects specifically and biodiversity in general, deal?

[aralintheobsessive]

if you want butterflies, you need to live with caterpillars.

i am not being metaphorical, i work in a garden center, stop buying plants 'to bring in the bees and butterflies' and then immediately poisoning every caterpillar that dares to consume a single leaf

you will not get butterflies if you kill all the things that turn into butterflies! what are you doing!

[aralintheobsessive]

getting a lot of responses to this going 'ok but it would be good as a metaphor though' so I will accept a metaphorical interpretation as long as you ALSO (!) promise to be considerate towards larval forms of insects specifically and biodiversity in general, deal?

[64mpg]

what do you mean my childhood affected me

[64mpg]

i have terrible news