TWO YEARS AGO. VASILY TRIED TO RECALL what he did two years ago. Probably attempt to keep Lantsov corp from crashing due to his father’s sudden illness - really, he still thought it was just his alcoholism catching up to him but he definitely was no doctor. He leaned forward, shifting the weight to the tip of his elbows as he continued to listen to the story of her sickness, unable to contain himself from feeling mesmerized by her entire existence. Never had he expected to meet someone so captivating in his life - he had before but NOT AGAIN - someone he could hold dear and close and who probably wouldn’t dump him for his bother.. .
❝ That sounds horrible. To be reduced to your sickness like that. ❞
ANGER ROSE IN HIM at the imagination alone of what she had to go through and suffer. So much pain. So much uncertainty and trauma. Reading her body language, the way she reached for the water more often than she would have needed to in the past five minutes, the way her posture shifted just so, it all screamed uncertainty. He knew he would never be able to handle disease as well as she has. As soon as his body would make the slightest intention to quit, he would probably give up too. Just like when his father had bullied him into not eating as a teenager…
WITHOUT NIKOLAI HE’D BE DEAD BY NOW.
❝ I never got to see anything else but Lantsov honestly. I grew up with it and my dad always wanted me to take over the company. No one ever asked me if that’s what I truly wish for…❞
Vulnerability. He allowed himself to be vulnerable around her because she’d just been so open about it all, his mind screamed at him to do the same. To put the cards on the table and finally be honest about his feelings.
❝ My brother is a bad match, honestly. Too impulsive. Cannot stop talking -…❞
He was joking but there was some truth behind his words. Nikolai and her wouldn’t get along well romantically. Not in a lifetime. Not after finding out about his brother’s taste… Anyway. Vasily had been the one to secure the internship for her behind her back. He had made sure that she was given a chance, that she could take over responsibility and impress them. So far, she’d met their expectations tenfold.
Vasily wanted nothing more than to soothe and reassure her, that they would work something out, that his mother would leave her alone but he couldn’t promise her that. No one could.
❝ I ask myself…the same. I never get to be Vasily. Just…Vasily and not the CEO or the Lantsov heir. It’s…odd to be real for once- ❞
His words were interrupted by the appearance of the waiter and the arrival of the wine and Ehri’s salad - I made sure that they sprinkle some extra parmesan for you on top, miss - and Vasily feeling a distinctive ache in his chest appear out of the blue again. First, he thought it was because of the jealousy but… It wasn’t. He paled but pushed through either way, reaching to pick up the glass of wine only to pause, gulping down a deep, desperate breath. Not now. Not now. It was spreading into his neck and jaw, trailing down all the way to his back and left arm. A heavy, vice-like pressure. He wanted to cry and curl up and drown in his misery.
❝ S-sorry… it’s just…chest pain….❞