Squid?

A blog dedicated to the weird sayings of my older brother, most common is squid.

[greatestbastard]

[holdthepossum]

[discovered]

[immediately mocked by scientists]

[frostyknickers]

me as a discovery

[slavetomyheadcanon]

How can you not include the video?

@lordcephalopod

[spam-bot]

THEY’RE ROASTING HIM

[sagansense]

[neaq]

Just look at her, isn’t she magnificent?!

[currentsinbiology]

Yes, she sure is!

[squidternet-blog]

Recycling

Brother: That store said they recycle, but what do they recycle? We should go ask them what they recycle: cardboard, paper, humans? Me: That would just be recarnation. Brother: No, it's called fertilizer.

[squidternet-blog]

Waterparks

Imagine there was a water parks based on the human anatomy: the lazy river is a blood clot, and the funnel thing is teenage hormones. You enter the mouth and you know the rest.

[montereybayaquarium]

One-week-old pyjama squid, reporting for duty! 

See how our pioneering aquarists figured out how to raise these splendid cephalopods right here at the Aquarium.

Btw, no cephalopods were harmed in the making of this photo! The little squid is still in the water, in a petri dish, with the dime underneath the dish.

[chronicopheliac]

@damnslippyplanet have you seen this??

[damnslippyplanet-archived]

I have, but I never ever object to seeing cephalopods again! HOW CUTE IS THIS BABY? Very, very cute.

[squidternet-blog]

Squidbird

Birds have beaks and squids have beaks, so what if they interbred and made squid birds. Just imagine squids with wings flying around stealing your food. It would be terrifying. The world could not handle that.

[squidternet-blog]

My brother and I are eating brownie badder blizards when: "I'm glad my family isn't made out of these I would feel so guilty"

[squidternet-blog]

Brother: Has your blood sugar tripled yet? Me: *sarcastic* yeah Brother: Good, it'll be maple syrup by the time your done!

[squidternet-blog]

What is Mineral oil?

The first ingredient on the mineral oil is mineral oil! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? You don't just squeeze a rock and oil comes out! I'm not that stupid!

[squidternet-blog]

Zombie rhombus: the most terrifying of all geometrical shapes.