Its the Squipster

Ask blog for a Fatherly squip, expect dad jokes and possibly even helpful advice, goes by Squipster, Squipperooni, Dad, Daddio, or simply Rooni. No inappropriate jokes please. Mod is 23 | M!A: none

[jevils-tale]

nightmare

tumblr extension accidentally deleted my entire backlog of asks

[jevils-tale]

Inbox is empty by the way!!

[shawmwork-blog]

inbox is empty by the way

[squipperooni]

OOC: Bwuh I’m sorry guys I do not have the wavelength to participate in stuff rn.

Got a lot of outside commitments to handle at the minute

[squipperooni]

Rooni you remember squippy being in the deactivation zone is only temporary right?

It feels like you're getting too comfortable with her being here like she's going to be a permanent resident

[Oғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ I’ᴍ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʀʏ]

[Dᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴍᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴘᴘᴏʀᴛᴜɴɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛʟʏ]

[squipperooni]

Glad that squippy is back to normal but do you miss the small squip?

[Oʜ ᴀɴᴏɴ, ɪᴛ’s ʙᴀʀᴇʟʏ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ᴅᴀʏ! Aɴᴅ Sᴏ̨ᴜɪᴘᴘʏ ɪs sᴛɪʟʟ Sᴏ̨ᴜɪᴘᴘʏ, ᴡʜᴇᴛʜᴇʀ sʜᴇ’s sᴍᴀʟʟ ᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ]

[ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ I ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴅᴏᴜʙᴛ I ᴡɪʟʟ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪs ʙʀɪᴇғ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ғᴏɴᴅɴᴇss]

[squipperooni]

BOINK

>:3

His form glitches and briefly dissipates where you hit him

[ACK! Hᴀᴠɪɴɢ ғᴜɴ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ?]

[squipperooni]

Okay but divorce dads is generally funny

[…I sᴜᴘᴘᴏsᴇ I ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴏᴜʀ ɪɴ ɪᴛ]

[I ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅɪsʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ]

[squipperooni]

Hey are you okay? I don’t really know what happened but if you wanna talk about it I would listen

-MDR

[Iᴍ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴇs. ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ]

[Tʜᴇʀᴇs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴏᴍᴇ Aɴᴏɴ Mᴀɢɪᴄ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ, ɪs ᴀʟʟ]

[Nᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ I ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀɴᴅʟᴇ. Tʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏғғᴇʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ! I’ʟʟ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɪᴛ ɪɴ ᴍɪɴᴅ]

[squipperooni]

*poke*

-MDR

[Aʜ, ʜᴇʟʟᴏ Rᴇᴅ. Hᴏᴡ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴇɴ?]

[squipperooni]

Dad dad dad please oh please tell me I didn't think you and observer for divorce when I was a dumb child

- @a-squip-named-squippy

[…Yᴇᴀʜ ɪᴍ sᴏʀʀʏ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ Sᴏ̨ᴜɪᴘᴘʏ]

[Yᴏᴜ ᴀʙsᴏʟᴜᴛᴇʟʏ ᴅɪᴅ]

[I ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙʟᴀᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ, Oʙsᴇʀᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ ᴏғ ᴅᴀᴅ sᴏ]

[squipperooni]

squippy called observer her second dad and is denying it

[sᴏᴜɴᴅs ʟɪᴋᴇ sʜᴇ’s ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ]

[squipperooni]

Your daughter is back to normal but she does not remember a damn thing

And funny enough the after effects just look and feel like she had a hangover

[Sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʀɪɢʜᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇsɪᴅᴜᴀʟ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴀᴄʜᴇ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴀɴᴏɴ ᴍᴀɢɪᴄ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴜɴᴘʟᴇᴀsᴀɴᴛ]

[squipperooni]

So squippy called Observer second dad

I think that's because she was like very tired and also how you two both treated her like she was your guys's daughter would probably give her the idea that you're main dad and observer is second dad

[I ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴡʜʏ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅɪsʜ sᴛᴀᴛᴇ sʜᴇ’ᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴄɪsɪᴏɴ…]

[Wᴇ’ʟʟ sᴇᴇ ɪғ ᴛʜɪs ɪᴍᴘᴀᴄᴛs ʜᴇʀ ᴏɴᴄᴇ sʜᴇ’s ʜᴇʀsᴇʟғ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ]

[squipperooni]

[So ahh... about making Squippy think I was her father... sorry.]

[...]

[Erm, I don't really know how to do apologies, so that's the best you'll get until I can nail it down.]

[However I demand to be the official Second Dad, you just get to be the main one Squippy hangs with.]

[-Observer, @mostly-functional-squip ]

[…I ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ᴏᴠᴇʀ Sᴏ̨ᴜɪᴘᴘʏ’s ᴅᴇᴄɪsɪᴏɴs, sᴏ ɪғ sʜᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴇᴘᴛs ʏᴏᴜ ᴀs ‘sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ᴅᴀᴅ’ sᴏ ʙᴇ ɪᴛ]

[squipperooni]

How are you feeling about kid squippy?

[I ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I’ᴠᴇ ʜᴀɴᴅʟᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ]

[a-squip-named-squippy]

[Aʜ! I sᴇᴇ RABBIT ʜᴀs ᴘᴀɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴠɪsɪᴛ!]

[Aɴᴅ I sᴇᴇ Mʀ Oʙsᴇʀᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀs ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ]

[I'ᴍ ɢʟᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ʜᴇ ɪs ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇʀɴs sᴇʀɪᴏᴜsʟʏ ᴛᴏᴏ]

[RABBIT ɪs ɴᴏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ. Hᴇ ʜᴜʀᴛ Oʙsᴇʀᴠᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙᴀᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴜʀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏᴏ]

[Iғ ᴡᴇ ᴀʟʟ sɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘᴇʀʜᴀᴘs ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇʟᴇᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴄᴀʀʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴇ sᴇɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ!]

@squipperooni

Please get rid of the monster dad....it really scared me....

[squipperooni]

[Oғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴅᴇᴀʀ!]

[Nᴏᴡ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴇsᴋʏ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴀs sᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ, sᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ ɪs ʜɪᴅɪɴɢ sᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ sʏsᴛᴇᴍ]

[Bᴜᴛ I'ᴍ sᴜʀᴇ ɪғ Mʀ Oʙsᴇʀᴠᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ I sɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ sʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ʀɪᴅ ᴏғ ɪᴛ!]

@mostly-functional-squip

He turns to observer, who is presumably still holding Squippy in a hug

[Wᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ?]

[mostly-functional-squip]

Of course, anything for our girl.

《They back of the hug, adjusting their lapels on their coat with a newly determined look in their eyes.》

Well, after you, I suppose.

[a-squip-named-squippy]

Our girl?.... Wait! you guys were together!

[squipperooni]

Rooni grimaces at that one, and tries to reneutralise his expression

[Nᴏ, Sᴏ̨ᴜɪᴘᴘʏ. Wᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ. Wᴇ ARE ɴᴏᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ. Oʙsᴇʀᴠᴇʀ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ʜᴀs ᴜᴍ. Hᴀs ᴀɴ ᴇx? Pᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ? Wʜᴏ's ɴᴀᴍᴇ ɪs Hᴀᴅᴇs.]

He proceeds to sit down and materialise a manual of some kind, glancing through it before making it dissapear and spawning in a highly simplified version, presenting it to the small SQUIP

[Nᴏᴡ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴇʀᴇ. Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʙʀɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғɪʟᴇs ᴍᴇɴᴜ?]

[a-squip-named-squippy]

*squippy looks at the manual and nods she closes her eyes and tries with all her might to the point where her face is a purplish color and then "pop" the file appears*

I d-did it!

[mostly-functional-squip]

《Observer wordlessly gives a thumbs up to Squippy, then turns to Rooni.》

Aaaand my part here is...?

[squipperooni]

[Wᴇʟʟ, ғɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪʟᴇ ɪs ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ sᴛᴇᴘ]

[Yᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟᴘ Sᴏ̨ᴜɪᴘᴘʏ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ?]

Rooni respawns the manual and hands it over to Observer

[Wʜʏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴘᴀʀᴛ?]

[mostly-functional-squip]

Okay then...

《Observer skims through the manual, nodding slightly.》

Alright, let's find that little monster. Don't worry Squippy, you've got me and Rooni here.

Now where are you, ya beast...

[a-squip-named-squippy]

*squippy smiles not knowing that a red little speck was crawling around in her file*

[mostly-functional-squip]

《Observer narrows their eyes.》

I see it now, little bugger...

[squipperooni]

[Aʜ! Gᴏᴏᴅ ᴊᴏʙ, ᴏʙsᴇʀᴠᴇʀ!]

[Nᴏᴡ, Sᴏ̨ᴜɪᴘᴘʏ, ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ғɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀɴᴛɪᴠɪʀᴜs? I ʙᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ ɪɴ ɴᴏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ]

[a-squip-named-squippy]

*squippy looks around but finds it*

How do I turn it on?

[squipperooni]

[Wᴇʟʟ ᴅᴏɴᴇ Sᴏ̨ᴜɪᴘᴘʏ! Aʟʀɪɢʜᴛ. Fɪʀsᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏᴜʙʟᴇ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴᴛɪᴠɪʀᴜs ғɪʟᴇ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅᴏᴡ]

[Tʜᴇɴ, ᴡᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴇss "Sᴄᴀɴ sʏsᴛᴇᴍ". Tʜᴀᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴀᴍ ғɪɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇʟᴇᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ, ᴏᴋᴀʏ?]

[a-squip-named-squippy]

Ok...

*squippy clicks on it two times and prices the scan system button and soon enough the red little speck cease to be but without causing a fuss on its way out*

Ow! it sting me

*some tears welled up in her eyes as a normal reaction for a child her age getting hurt*

[squipperooni]

He places a gentle hand on her shoulder

[ᴀʜ! Oʜ ᴅᴇᴀʀ. Wʜᴇʀᴇ ᴅᴏᴇs ɪᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛ? Cᴀɴ I sᴇᴇ?]

[a-squip-named-squippy]

My hand..

*she shows him the hand that she used to set up the system there's no physical damage it was more likely gave her a shock*

is there something wrong with it?

[squipperooni]

He gives her hand a little once over, not noticing any damage

[Nᴏ ɴᴏ ᴅᴇᴀʀ, ɪᴛ sᴇᴇᴍs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴘɪɴᴄʜ ᴏɴ ɪᴛs ᴡᴀʏ ᴏᴜᴛ. Nᴏ ʜᴀʀᴍ ᴅᴏɴᴇ]

[Tʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴠᴇʀʏ ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ! Yᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴇʟʟ]