cherry valley forever
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
wallacepolsom
roma★
Kiana Khansmith
Not today Justin
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
🪼
RMH
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Claire Keane
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
blake kathryn
Monterey Bay Aquarium
if i look back, i am lost
Keni
ojovivo
hello vonnie
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@srirachasalsa
sometimes
depression returns like an old friend, and stays a little longer than wanted but does so for no reason at all.
sometimes
dangerous thoughts flash through my mind like lightning with fear trailing behind
sometimes
loved ones question why or get annoyed when the topic is brought up, and eyes are being rolled and opinions are lowered
sometimes
feelings and worries are not shared at all in fear that words no longer carry the weight they’re meant to
sometimes.
My sexual desires have been getting out of control, but it wasn’t until I spanked a statue...
…that I knew I’d hit rock bottom.
retweet
the “the colonel calls me riza when we’re alone” scene is/was.. lifechanging tbh
lest anyone forget this iconique moment
“Now do me a favor and die” is such a powerful statement.
VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING KIDS
i know this isn’t my first time reblogging this post to this blog, and it probably won’t be the last. Stay educated.
Before vaccines were a regular thing, epidemics had about 5x more casualties than epidemics of the same diseases today. Vaccines didn’t kick off right away at Jenner’s experiment, it wasn’t until Louis Pasteur’s experiment with anthrax when vaccines became more widely tested. And that experiment was still during the time period (late 19th century) when Germ Theory was still widely unaccepted. Germ Theory wasn’t taken as seriously until Robert Koch’s work with tuberculosis was the talk in nearly every European science magazine.
The first rising of antivaxx was in the 1880′s, from people who were both trained medical professionals and skeptical people with barely any knowledge of medicine.
Its 2017, and with people STILL thinking vaccines don’t work makes me worried that one day I’m gonna have someone straight up tell me how real the miasma theory is.
we learn that the heart is the same size as the fist, but we keep forgetting they don’t have the same functions.
Rudy Francisco, “Helium” (via buttonpoetry)
A lot of parenting is trying to figure out how to keep this little kid from being an asshole when they grow up.
It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now.
This. This. This! THIS!
you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like “you won’t do it. you’re too good” and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me “you won’t do it” i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch
I’ve been playing a lot of Overcooked and Dragon Age recently...
Can I just quit my day job and play video games all day?
Kidding! not really
While it’s true that a lot of telemarketers are just folks trying to make ends meet, you still shouldn’t feel bad about hanging up on them in mid-sentence.
Many telemarketers aren’t actually allowed to end a call without making a sale; if they did so voluntarily, they’d be fired. By corporate edict, that call was only ever going to end in one of two ways: with you buying something, or with you hanging up on them. There’s no point trying to end the conversation politely because the script they’re working off of demands that they ignore and obstruct any attempt to do so - and they will be punished for failing to follow it.
You hanging up on them is literally the only way for them to get out of a call that’s not going anywhere, so you might as well get it over with. You’re actually doing them a favour.
Yes.
This is also an instance of a more general principle: notice when people are weaponizing social norms, and react by refusing to play the game.
Easy mode for this is the people on the street with pamphlets. They’ll weaponize social norms in an attempt to make you stop and talk to them. One script I see, for instance:
ACTIVIST: Hi! Excuse me, are you a student here?
PASSER-BY: –yes, I am.
ACTIVIST: Do you care about the ethical treatment of minorities on campus?
PASSER-BY: ….um, yes, but…
ACTIVIST: Were you aware that 90% of statistics about minorities are made up on the spot to serve as examples in tumblr posts?
PASSER-BY: …no, I wasn’t, but I really have to…
ACTIVIST: Here’s what our organization does to fight that!
…and so forth.
The trick here, of course, is that the first question is one which it’s socially unacceptable to avoid answering. If the activist opens with “would you like to help save a photogenic animal today?” you can say “no thank you.” If they open with “do you care about the whales?” you can grit your teeth and say “nope.”
But how do you respond to “are you a student here”? It’s a yes or no question, to which you definitely know the answer, so you can’t mumble something about not knowing. And it’s not explicitly related to their cause, so you can’t just automatically say “not today thanks.” (If you try either of those, they’ll call you on it – “what, you’re not a student today?”)
Ignoring them, or saying “that’s none of your business” or “leave me alone,” is a violation of social norms, and means you look like a jerk, because they asked a question that’s well within the realm of what’s socially permissible. So if you’re playing by social norms, you have to answer.
And then, once you’ve answered, you’re engaged in conversation with them. It’s an egregious violation of social norms to walk away from a conversation without going through the normal conversation-ending procedures. And they of course will not participate in those. So now you’re trapped, where you would have been free under social norms to walk past someone shouting at you about statistics if you hadn’t yet engaged with them.
The only way to escape these situations is to notice them and step outside the social game. This is hard; you will get intense this-is-awkward, I-am-being-awful-and-mean feedback from your brain, which has noticed you are violating the rules and would like you to stop. But walking away without saying anything, or saying “I don’t want to talk right now,” is in fact the correct thing to do here.
And that’s easy mode. People selling something play this game blatantly. Hard mode is people who play it expertly, within society, so that you have to go along with what they want or be forced into violating social norms. (And people will go along with a lot rather than violate social norms.) Friends who ask you for things in a way that makes it awkward to refuse. Family members who treat you badly but do it in a way contrived so that any complaint will constitute you being rude. In the really extreme cases, the same dynamic shows up in abusive relationships. It’s the adult version of an abuser convincing a kid he’ll get in trouble if he tells his parents.
So this is, IMO, a really important skill to learn and to deploy properly. Social norms are great, I love doing the dance of social convention, it’s lovely and satisfying, but if your partner keeps trying to stab you with a poisoned dagger, maybe it’s time to stop dancing. Even if that looks weird in the middle of the dance floor.
This is something I never thought needed to be broken down before, but once you did it helped make a lot of things clear. Like, I already knew that sales people are pushy and try to rope you into conversations that are difficult to terminate, but describing the reasons why those conversations feel so awkward to leave abruptly was super enlightening.
Well said.
One other reason that people feel uncomfortable breaking social norms is the fear of retaliation. This is one that the face-to-face marketers tend to play on more than the telemarketers.
There’s a reason that chuggers (“charity muggers”) frequently pick on women - female-socialised people find it harder to say “no” and walk away from a social interaction. Some of this may be due to fear of retaliation. Lots of situations in which “a stranger forces you into weird public engagement” can escalate horribly, so it’s often easier to just mumble along with them and contrive an escape. Rejection (of the chugger/catcaller/marketer) is something that sometimes leads to retaliation, so depending on your experiences you might find yourself being afraid to “just walk away.”
I have had two experiences where chuggers caught me in public and reacted badly to my flat rejections. They were both men chugging for Greenpeace, and I actually complained to the organisation about them. Because they’re playing on social norms as well, using aspects of themselves in the marketing performance, they can get waaay too invested and in-character, and treat it as a social/sexual rejection, apparently. One of them actually lost his head and chased me down the street, shouting.
Anyway the best way I found to stop both of them was to stand at bay and scream “STOP HARASSING ME”, which created such public amazement among the other people on the sidewalk that the chuggers had to put their hands up and back away.
With the chasing-guy he sort of did a defeated primal scream and went back to his pitch, presumably having come back to his senses. but the other guy just raised his eyebrows like “hey WOW fair enough” so it worked out okay.
Basically even if there is retaliation, just remember that THEY STARTED IT and THEY MADE IT WEIRD.
Your number one script for the very first response is, “Sorry, I’m late, can’t talk.” And keep walking.
Oh absolutely. In the cases of the two Greenpeace chuggers I had initially flatly rejected and kept walking with a murderous pace; it’s not like I haven’t lived in cities. But the chasing-guy then followed me and touched my shoulder to stop me (departing wildly from the chugger script - they’re supposed to leave you alone if you say no) so I told him he was now harrassing me, which made him escalate. The other guy was more casual, but he still got in front of me and blocked me with his body. Both of these are seriously inappropriate, which is why I literally stopped and called them out, then reported them to Greenpeace.
The “fear of retaliation” is an incredibly important aspect of the social-awkwardness part of rejection, though. So I think it’s important to model how that can happen in aggressive-marketing situations. In fact, you have more power with marketers than when faced with a catcaller; you can get marketers fired for it, because there are rules about how marketing behavior is supposed to happen.
I know exactly what you’re saying, so I apologise for riffing on it, but I’m getting notes/activity that’s all bright and chipper and reccomennding doing the murderwalk to “simply not have the trouble in the first place” as if this is New Information.
And I think it’s a little unhelpful for people to be told “Well, just say ‘no’ and you won’t get into escalating situations” because that’s patently untrue, and doesn’t work in any sphere of life where you actually need it. And then when it does escalate, it automatically becomes a situation where “saying no and walking way” is ineffective because you’re already past that point. And it is deeply irritating for people who do end up having trouble: “Uhh why didn’t you practice the magic murder-walk ™ that makes people leave you alone? (insert gif of the lady doing the murderwalk) I do that and nobody’s EVER committted crimes against me, you should be more like me.” And it’s like, uhhhh well yes the murderwalk is great for walking past the drunk guy in the student hub, but when every pissed-off commuter in London is literally doing that at all times ANYWAY, then statistically a trained lancer in the Chugger Pack in a tube station Marketing Gauntlet is going to go for murderwalkers anyway, because they gotta make rent, and sometimes you’ll be one of them? It’s an evolutionary arms race. it doesn’t REALLY matter how you always walk past importunate homeless people while thinking about murdering Captain America, or whatever. You don’t get paid to do that, and other people DO get trained and paid to break into your personal bubble and sell things to you.
In conclusion: I think most people have, in fact, heard of the word “no”. Thus, telling them to “just use it” is not always that helpful (if you really want to help people). It’s like saying “if someone touches you, then do karate on them.” And if anyone has questions, then it’s like answering “just do karate! Do five karates!” and if it doesn’t work then it’s like saying “well, it’s because you didn’t do SEVEN karates.”
I’m not mad and everyone is absolutely right, it’s just that it can be true that “murderwalking” or “hanging up” or “saying no and walking away” is helpful, BUT ALSO, when that doesn’t work, that’s what the post is about - why it doesn’t work, and what happens next.
Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.
Another good post to read for those writing small human characters.
My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.
My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.
I live in Korea and have a lot of international friends, and the same is true with language barriers in adults.
*Looking at a bowl of pears* “Can you please pass me the… apple’s friend?”
OH SHIT SHE’S THREE
y'all hurricane irma IS the most powerful storm scientists have seen in over a decade and it’s already tearing through the carribean islands. they don’t have as much money and government help as the U.S does so Americans have to donate like hell to these islands. the islands that are currently being hit haven’t even responded to media outlets/ radios because that’s how fucking powerful it is. we already know the government is gonna do more to help the U.S but not so much with these islands. Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Cuba, the Bahamas and other carribeans islands are going to get hit the worse. we need to stand by them, pray for them, and donate as soon as we get information about donation organizations that will help the carribean islands. they need this.
after 12 hours of no response, the Prime Minister of Barbuda has announced almost 100% of the island is destroyed. A lot of the other islands have yet to make a statement but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same way for them too. 3 people are already dead and the death toll is expected to rise. don’t just care about these Caribbean islands when they’re good vacation spots and travel aesthetics. people LIVE on these islands, people go to school on these islands, people had futures on these islands and we should care about the destruction that is going on there like we would if it happened in the U.S
This photo was taken about forty miles from Portland, almost an hour ago:
They’ve closed the major highway that’s next to the river, I-84 (this photo was taken from the opposite bank of the Columbia River). They had to evacuate several towns, and rescue 140 hikers. The most recent estimate I can find is 4,800 acres are on fire.
The sun has been red all day. The moon is so obscured by smoke it’s dark red and barely visible even though it’s only a few days from full.
It’s raining ash so heavily in Portland that people are comparing it to the ash fall after Mt. St. Helens blew in 1980. Right now, at night, in the headlights of cars it looks just like snow flurries. On my two-mile bicycle ride home I kept having to blink it out of my eyes (it feels like sand, almost). It’s collecting on flat surfaces. I tried to breathe through my nose but then my nose ran too much–I’ll probably ride to work tomorrow with a scarf over my face. I kinda wish I had either prescription swimming goggles or a snowboarding mask or something.
Only a third of houses in Portland have a/c and it’s super hot still; I can’t imagine being someone with asthma and no a/c right now. Just the bike ride home gave me a mild sore throat.
Pika (aka barking mouse bunnies) make their home in the Columbia River Gorge. It’s one of the most beautiful parts of Oregon and Washington. And a huge stretch of it is currently on fire–because some fucking dipshit on a hike at Eagle Creek set off fireworks, despite the fact that we’ve had zero rain for like two fucking months.
I’ve been sobbing on and off all day.
It’ll be 30-50 years before the area looks like it did last week. I may never see the falls in their full splendor again IN MY LIFETIME because some bored teenager thought it’d be a laugh to toss firecrackers off a cliff.
People’s homes are burning, historic tunnels are destroyed, the fish in the hatchery had to be flushed out into the river because they were suffocating. Tourism in the area is devastated for decades. All because someone got bored and decided to throw a firecracker off a cliff for fun.
remember when smokey said only you can prevent forest fires this is the kind of shit he meant (Also for people in the area: whatever kind of goggles will keep shit out of your eyes. Fucking steampunk goggles will work. Science/chem lab stuff would be good, too. Dampen a cloth or scarf and wear it over your breathe holes. Get a hepa filter. The one I use for allergies is on Amazon Prime go do that I’m sure the local stores are probably out)
