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@srphns-blog
As anti-AI as I am, whether we're talking about fanfiction or art, I don't think we should be going to other people's blogs to harass them. Let them tag their work as AI-generated, and the people who want to engage with that kind of content will, while those who don't can simply avoid it. I think that's a better approach than shaming. Otherwise, people will just stop tagging their AI content to avoid harassment, and then we'll end up with a witch hunt instead.
i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.
the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.
Dennis having a husband that died of cancer before season one makes far too much sense. The fuggly hair cut is growing back from the solidarity shave to match his husband, he’s broke not only due to medschool but also the medical bills, his husband had been the main breadwinner so when he became terminal and then died dennis could keep up with their house payments. He had gotten his theology degree, but watching his husband’s sickness continue to worsen his belief in godd wanned. And he turned all that devotion towards the people that were trying their damnedest to save the love of his life and decided to pivote careers.
After watching Amy drop Dennis off at work. Jack tries to say something about developing a relationship with the greiving widow of a patient wasn’t healthy for either of them, dennis kind of snaps a bit, because no matter how many times he keeps saying they’re just friends and he likes the farm no one is actually listening to him.
“Didn’t you get lonely after the love of your life died? I know I fucking did.” (and for drama lets say this is also the anniversary of his husband’s death) and Dennis starts crying… not loud or even dramatic, but in the way that its clear he still thinks he’s got a stiff upper lip and is saving face until he feels the first tear drop from his chin.
Jack practically abducts dennis from work and both widowers have a very sad, but also cathartic day of being able to talk to someone that understands. They start a Widor club and Amy is inducted into it pretty soon and they each help the other when no one else really understands. Jack finds himself as some kind of Widower-Elder making sure these two kids don’t drown in their grief at their more recent losses.
Hermits, all ready to hit the town! 👞
Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.
And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.
You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho
If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.
and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it
I firmly believe that Shane is actually a menace.
Shane is just as unhinged as Ilya, if not more so—he just requires a certain level of comfort and ease to let people see that. Ilya’s baseline is “I woke up today and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem.” Shane is more “I need you to prove your worth and trustworthiness before I allow you access to additional sides of me.”
Shane’s parents? Fully aware of his gremlin tendencies. Ilya? Intimately acquainted and in love with this undercover harbinger of mischief. Rose, Hayden, JJ, Jackie? They know that Shane is actually just three chaos demons in a trench coat. Everyone else only catches the occasional glimpse because Shane isn’t comfortable showing that part of himself to just anyone, much less in a professional capacity.
Enter Centaurs.
Hayden notices the difference at the first Montreal game against Ottawa. Shane’s playing the same—an absolute demon on the ice, something the Metros are woefully unprepared to face now that he’s playing against them. They score a single measly goal against the Centaurs’ 10, 6 of which are Shane’s alone.
He looks relaxed, Hayden thinks as the press flocks to his friend after the game. Less tension in his shoulders. An actual smile on his face instead of the fake one reporters still haven’t caught on to after all these years. He looks…happy.
“Shane!” One of the reporters pushes to the front and holds out a microphone. “Your former teammates spent most of this game gunning for you instead of actually playing. It doesn’t seem to have worked out well, but is there anything you’d like to say to them now?”
Hayden feels a chill run down his spine as he watches the way Shane’s smile shifts from soft to sharp, closed mouth to shark-like. Oh no. Wait, wait, wait—
Shane looks directly at the camera and shrugs.
“Hoes mad.”
In the background, Rozanov’s face positively lights up. He looks like Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day just came early, all at once and specifically for him. The rest of the Centaurs are behind him, cheering wildly.
More importantly? None of them look surprised.
Hayden’s not shocked that Shane said it—he knows what his friend is really like, knows the Metros are mad (even if he does personally object to being called a hoe). He just can’t believe Shane said that out loud, in front of cameras, in front of other people, and nobody (aside from the reporters, who are gobsmacked and clamoring for more) looks even remotely fazed by it. They’re looking at him in a way that says “that’s our Shane,” not “holy shit, he really just did that.”
As Shane walks off, completely at ease, Hayden feels two diametrically opposed emotions. On one hand, there’s a guilt gnawing at him. How awful were the Metros that Shane never felt comfortable enough to be himself and talk like this after a game? How had he not noticed? Had he taken his own privilege, his own glimpses at the gremlin that is Shane Hollander, for granted? Fuck, had he failed his friend?
On the other hand, Hayden’s excited for his friend and for the rest of the season. This Shane is comfortable enough to truly be himself and he’s going to be a complete, unapologetic, grade A problem for everyone. Hayden can’t wait to watch it happen.
As a continuation of the headcanon above, please enjoy the following installments of Shane The Menace:
Much to Hayden’s excitement (and slight fear, not gonna lie—has to play against the guy now), Shane The Menace begins making more frequent public appearances. As best friend of The Menace, Hayden dutifully corrects the Metros who grumble and complain about their former captain being corrupted by Rozanov.
He’s always been this way, Hayden says repeatedly. No corruption necessary. He just wasn’t comfortable enough to show you. Now you have to deal with being on the bad end of it.
After another Ottawa-Montreal game (another, far more dismal loss; the Centaurs pulled off a complete shutout and racked up 8 goals), the press is practically foaming at the mouth for more quotes from Shane. This time, they’re angling for some kind of reconciliation between the newest Centaur and his former teammates.
“Greg Hines, ESPN,” a stocky man in front announces as he holds out a mic. “Gilbert Comeau took a nasty fall in the first half and was on the bench the rest of the game. According to the official Metros social media team, he’s fractured an ankle. Any well wishes for him or the rest of the Metros after their loss tonight?”
Shane pulls a face—like he’s aiming for sympathetic and failing miserably. One of his former teammates tripped and now these vultures want pleasantries from him? The irony.
Hayden feels his stomach drop into his ass as Shane looks at the camera. Fuck, whatever he says is gonna make the Metros group chat go insane.
“No points and a broken ankle,” Shane deadpans. “Damn. Double homicide.”
Hayden sighs as he taps an Instagram link from JJ. It looks like the paparazzi cornered Shane at the airport, right as the Centaurs arrived for their flight to Miami. It’s already at over 200,000 views. This can’t be good.
“Shane!” A tiny woman with green hair and an old school tape recorder rushes ahead of the crowd. “Any comment on the petitions to bench you and Ilya Rozanov? Some Metros fans seem to think playing on the same team as your husband is—“
Shane normally just smiles and nods politely when approached in airports, but he pauses mid-stride. Hayden feels the temperature in his living room drop. Oh God, what’s he about to say?
“All the flavors in the world and people choose salty.” Shane adjusts his sunglasses delicately. “Blood pressure must be sky high.”
Hayden damn near chokes on his tongue laughing so hard.
Sometimes, Shane The Gremlin makes an appearance. That, Hayden explains to the uninitiated, is when Shane isn’t provoked; he’s just feeling mischievous.
In fairness, the interaction with this fucking podcaster—Henry? Harold? Fuck if Hayden knows or cares—isn’t completely unprovoked. It’s not immediately provoked, not in the moment, but it’s almost an inevitable conclusion to months of constant shit-stirring. The guy’s been one of the loudest voices decrying Shane’s exit from Montreal, using very, very thinly veiled homophobia to push his “concern for the sport.” It’s a massive crock of shit, and Hayden’s amazed the guy got a press pass for the Irina Foundation’s annual gala.
…oh. Oh shit. Shane did this on purpose, didn’t he? Jesus H. Christ, this is going to bad. Somebody should call Yuna.
“I just think it’s weird,” Shane says directly into the unsuspecting podcaster’s obnoxiously oversized mic. “You spend so much of your time with my name in your mouth, talking about how I have my husband’s dick in mine. Gotta say, I’ve never—as a gay man, mind you—thought that much about a penis that wasn’t mine or the one I was married to. Do you…have something you want to get off your chest or…?”
Hayden is not surprised when Herman (Hassan? Herbie?) goes red as a beet and silent. He’s also not surprised when the clip, recorded by at least a dozen professional-grade cameras, goes viral within minutes. He’s even more unsurprised when reaction gifs of onlookers—himself included, looking like he’ll blow a blood vessel trying not to laugh—pop up alongside #ShaneUnleashed.
Both Shane and Ilya have the most severe cases of Resting Bitch Face when they’re on their own. Face cards lethal, both aesthetically and in terms of how fearful for their own safety people are if they don’t understand the context.
Ilya is Slavic. That’s really all there is to it. There is no deeper explanation and he will not provide one. If you keep being weird about it, he’ll start giving you made up reasons just to fuck with you. Why? Because fuck you, that’s why. Who just goes around asking people to explain their faces? Rude.
Shane is Shane. He’s a neurodivergent baddie who’s in his own head a lot. No, he’s not pissed off; that’s just his face. No, I promise you, he’s not plotting a murder. That’s seriously just his face. Yes, he knows, we’ve all mentioned it at least once because we thought we did something wrong. That’s just his default face.
Post-outing, Ilya’s Slavic stoicism and Shane’s…Shane-ness don’t magically go away, but the public notices a shift as they stop hiding their relationship. They show up places together now, holding hands and existing in each other’s personal space without having to excuse it with the Irina Foundation. Their respective reputations for Resting Bitch Face take a major hit when their default faces start popping up less and less in pictures. IG comments document the change.
Ummm…anybody else notice Rozanov’s always smiling now? 🤔
I thought Hollander was a robot. I ain’t never seen robots smile.
Look at them! They’re so happy 🥹
When will happiness like this find me?
Is this what married sex do? Just rewire your brain?
Bro’s Slavic face? Gone. Perma-smile.
Demons on the ice, gummy bears in real life.
Have Hollander’s teeth always been so white? I don’t think we’ve ever seen them this much.
How much you wanna bet Roz has been a loverboy this entire time? Yes Shane, anything you want Shane, anything for you Shane. 😂
Did we know Roz had a dimple on his left cheek? Holy shit.
Got Shane “RBF” Hollander smiling like it’s candy and rainbows around here…Ugh, I hate them both so bad.
- Actually or…?
- Fuck no, I love smiley Hollanov. I hate that I don’t have someone to be this cute with!
It’s funny until one comment makes Ilya squawk indignantly.
Rozanov - Looks like he’ll murder you, is actually a cinnamon roll. Hollander - Looks like he’ll murder you…probably will, just happily now.
“They know I am soft,” he whines, not doing himself any favors as he throws himself down on the couch and pouts dramatically. “My reputation is ruined! A whole career as the sleep paralysis demon of hockey players worldwide, destroyed by a beautiful man with beautiful freckles. I will never recover, Shane!”
Shane smiles softly at the comments and tangles his fingers in his husband’s wild curls. “How tragic. The world knows you’ve got a soft, gooey center.”
Ilya continues pouting (“That is lie, liar told you that.” “I can see you with my own eyes.” “Your eyes lie. Russians do not pout.” “I mean…you’re Canadian now.” “…Shane. SHANE. How can you say this?!”). He huffs and crosses his arms petulantly.
“Easy for you to say,” he grumbles, eyes drooping in relaxation as Shane massages his scalp. “They still see you as a threat. I am Mister Cinnamon Roll now.”
“Then I’ll threaten them enough for both of us, baby.”
Ilya smiles sleepily and puckers his lips, wordlessly demanding a kiss. Shane obliges without hesitation.
He doesn’t mention that Ilya’s lip balm actually tastes a little like cinnamon rolls.
Yuna realizes that Shane and Ilya are in LOVE love when she hears singing coming from the kitchen.
“Chopping carrots with Ilya,” Shane sings under his breath. “Making salad with Ilya.”
Yuna smiles softly from the dining room. This is one of her favorite things about her son. From the time he could (barely) talk, he made up little songs about anything and everything. The first time he’d done it, he’d been strapped into his car seat and watching cars go by. When he’d caught Yuna’s eye in the rear view mirror, he’d smiled with all 8 of his little teeth and waved.
“Dwiving,” he’d sung, all of 18 months old and barely able to say the word properly. “Dwivin’ wi’ Mama. Wuv Mama.”
Yuna’s not sure if it’s Shane’s way of processing the world around him, just A Thing some people do, or something special about her baby boy. All she knows is that from the first time he’d made up a little tune about Driving With Mama, everything turned into a song. When he’s comfortable and feeling at ease, Shane turns little things around him into music.
Learning to tie his shoes? “Daddy’s teaching me to tie my shoes. One lace over the other. Make the bunny ears!”
Gearing up for practice when he was 8? “Going to practice. Gonna be great. Gonna score a goal!”
Studying for a science test? “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Everyone says it because it’s true. Moving on—organelles and cell walls.”
Gearing up for his first Metros game as captain? “Taping my hockey stick. Going out on the ice. Gonna kick some ass.”
It’s something so uniquely, adorably, perfectly Shane.
Today, though? As Shane’s in the kitchen preparing a salad for lunch? For the first time, someone else sings along. For the first time in Shane’s life, someone hears the tune and lyrics that only exist in his head and joins in.
“Making salad with Shane,” Ilya croons along, hooking his chin over his boyfriend’s shoulder and wrapping strong arms around his waist. “Preparing lunch with my love.”
Shane smiles and sings back as Ilya nuzzles his neck. “Being domestic with my boyfriend. Thinking of boring things we can do together.”
Ilya laughs and kisses his ear before finishing the song. “I love to be boring with yooouuuu.”
It’s the best song Yuna’s ever heard.
…okay, that’s a lie. It’s a tie for the best song Yuna’s ever heard. Maybe. It’s definitely at the top of the list.
Shane pauses on the other line, breath catching as he holds back overwhelming emotion.
“Mom,” he croaks. “I…fuck.”
Yuna stays calm. She mentally takes stock of the situation. Ilya’s fine—he just texted her, a few seconds before Shane called, to warn her of the incoming storm. David’s fine—he’s sitting right next to her, confused and alarmed as their son has some manner of episode on the phone. She’s fine. So what’s—
“—wi’ Dada!”
…oh. Oh.
It’s soft at first, but picking up in volume. Tiny pit-pats in the background accompany the most beautiful little voice Yuna’s heard since Shane made up his first song, Driving With Mama, from his car seat all those years ago.
“Eating,” the little voice sings in the background. It’s garbled by what Yuna assumes are half-chewed remnants of an afternoon snack; probably organic peanut butter on apple slices. “Eating wi’ Dada. Eating wi’ Papa. Dada on phone! Who on phone, Dada?”
There’s wet laughter in the background, further from the phone. “Oh God, Shane. It’s genetic. She’s a little you!”
More tearful laughter, this time from Shane. “That’s not—she’s adopted, Ilya.”
“I don’t care what the papers say. She is you. Listen to her, she is perfect. She must be part you, sweetheart.”
Driving With Mama. Making Salad With Ilya. Top three songs for sure, as far as Yuna’s concerned. But this one? Eating With Dada and Papa, written and performed by her granddaughter for a live audience? A platinum hit. Give this baby a Grammy.
Ilya and Shane, on top of being The Lovebirds Of All Time, are best fucking friends.
Shane is the #1 person Ilya gossips with. Since Shane isn’t the best on picking up subtext, all of the drama Ilya has to share is a complete surprise to him. Which makes him both the most entertained by the gossip and the most entertaining gossip partner.
Shane has an extremely dry sense of humor, and in public he’ll whisper deadpan commentary into Ilya’s ear while Ilya tries not to cry laughing.
Ilya has a very dark sense of humor that makes most people who hear it uncomfortable, but not Shane. Shane thinks it’s absolutely hilarious every time.
Ilya and Shane love to sit in the same room, do separate activities, and barely speak to each other. Shane will read a book while Ilya plays a video game, and one of them will have their feet in the other’s lap.
While everyone in the league thinks Ilya is a huge asshole, Shane thinks he’s hilarious. In fact, Shane usually agrees with Ilya’s chirps and will not defend anyone against them.
I just love the idea that they’re absolute best friends.
Shane shows up to an open practice with a black eye. Shane refuses to talk about it and Ilya keeps trying to hide a grin. Someone takes a picture of him and it goes viral.
The internet is divided: Is the black eye a sex injury or is Ilya an abuser?
The locker room is full of guys making sex jokes at them, to Ilya’s great amusement and Shane’s annoyance. Shane keeps hoping people will stop talking about it, but when the black eye only looks worse at the next game, it’s unavoidable. The media keeps asking cheekily about it and there are think pieces being written online about how Ilya is an abuser and here are all the signs of how he has been abusing Shane for years.
Shane gets his hands on the latter and is angrier at that than he is prideful. So, he drops the video.
The video is from a surveillance camera of the Rozanov-Hollander house’s backyard. Shane is crouched down playing tug of war with their dog Anya. He and Anya are both refusing to let go of rope. Suddenly, Anya drops it and Shane’s hands fling back toward his face and he smacks himself in the face with hands still around the toy. He drops to his back and cups his hands over his eyes.
Ilya runs into view, kneeling next to Shane and is seen as asking him what’s wrong. When Shane explains, Ilya falls over laughing on the grass and Shane throws the dog toy at his head. Ilya gets up and crouches down over Shane and gives him a kiss on the cheek right below his eye. The video ends as he’s leaning down while speaking to give him a kiss on his lips.
Shane captions the video: Word of advice. Let the dog win.
Sveta breaks her leg and she lives in a stupidly pretty loft apartment with nowhere to sleep downstairs so Ilya offers her a spare room at the cottage over the summer to recover in since she will basically have her own space.
Except that Ilya and Svetlana have their own routine together, even outside of them hooking up prior. They grew up together, mamas taking pictures of them in the tub together, no boundaries between them bc that’s just how they are. It’s why they slept together in the first place. Who better to try stuff with than the person who’s grown up with you?
Shane thinks he’s prepared for this, knows Ilya in and out but the first time that Sveta picks spinach out of Ilyas teeth like it’s second nature, he feels like he should be jealous but he’s not. He laughs when Ilya barges into the bathroom while she’s showering just to piss because he’s too lazy to go upstairs. He can’t even be mad when he hears the shower door open and Ilya’s affronted scream when Sveta turns the shower on him to run him out. (She happily mops the water up afterwards anyways so the only victim is a damp Ilya who mopes about having to change clothes)
Shane doesn’t really fit into their dynamic naturally and he’s okay with it, has a weird sense of loss when he watches them but he’s so happy to see that childlike joy from them that it doesn’t even really matter to him.
Except Ilya is gone for a whole two days for a sponsorship photoshoot and Shane is left with Svetlana alone for the first time that isn’t a few hours or less. It’s easy at first, nothing new. Except that he wakes up to the sound of her sobbing the first night.
Shane bursts into her room, scared out of his mind and already halfway through calling Ilya when she tries to just tell him to leave. To let it go and that she’s just being stupid bc she’s in pain. Shane doesn’t let it go though, coaxes it out of her that she has chronic back issues, ones that are debilitating some days and she normally soaks in a hot bath but her stupid broken leg means she can’t and nothing is helping anymore. She tries to shoo him out, apologizes for waking him up but Shane stops her. Tells her he will be back before he digs the fancy Epsom salts out of his own stash.
He easily finds some tiny candles, a soft floral scent that’s similar to the perfume she always wears, and lights them in the bathroom before dimming the lights and running a nearly scalding bath. He grabs the plastic sheeting and waterproof tape they keep in every bathroom because they’re athletes and they have to be able to waterproof injuries at a moments notice. He takes it back to Svetlana who’s already trying to pretend she’s going back to sleep.
“Come on, I’ve got you.”
She tries to protest, says she doesn’t need someone babying her, to which Shane rolls his eyes and asks her if she wants him to call Ilya who will absolutely force her to let him help if he doesn’t try to fly home immediately.
She finally lets him tape her up, not really sure where it’s going but trusting Shane bc Ilya trusts him. She startles a bit when he scoops her out of bed like she weighs nothing. He brings her into the bathroom, setting her carefully on the edge of the bathtub. He’s gentle when he helps her out of her clothes, eyes carefully diverted even though she knows he’s never looking at her like that. There’s a little hammock on the edge of the bathtub, and when he helps her into the hot water he tucks her injured leg as much out of the water as possible.
The heat is incredible, and her eyes tear up with the relief her back feels. When he turns to leave she grabs his hand, voice low as she asks him to please stay. She can’t have Ilya right now, but Shane is willing to be there and no one else ever has outside of her Ilya. Shane smiles, rolls up his pant legs and sits himself on the edge of the tub. They talk about nothing and everything until the water is cold and her back has stopped spasming enough that her pain meds are gonna be able to kick in finally. Shane is as calculated as ever when he lifts her out, heated towels already set up for him to wrap around her. She dries herself off, and Shane helps her get dressed again before carrying her back to her room even though she insists she can get back with her crutches.
When he goes to leave after tucking her into bed, she tangles her fingers in his and offers him the other half of the bed.
“I hear you, moving around when he’s not home. I know it’s hard to sleep without him.”
Shane hesitates for a moment, but he slides into the bed with her anyways. He know Ilya doesn’t care. He’s found them tangled up asleep together countless times over the years, but it’s never just been just the two of them.
Ilya comes home early the next morning, expecting to surprise both of them but when he checks on Svetlana first and finds both of them tangled up together, his heart nearly bursts from his chest. He slides into next to Shane quietly (after taking 30 pictures of them)
It wakes Shane just a little bit but Ilya shushes him, kissing him quietly before wrapping his arms around Shane’s waist. He can hold hands with his Sveta this way too and even in her sleep she squeezes his fingers gently.
It’s the best sleep that Ilya has gotten in a long time.
Saw this and thought of sharing it because it is very beautiful
Saw this and thought of
sharing it because it is
very beautiful
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Whitakers dad freaking out after Dennis comes out to them and Introduces them to Robby and Abbott, not because he's homophobic, but because he's wondering, why Dennis would go for someone his age?
Now he knows the most obvious answer would be Daddy issues, but he thought he was a pretty decent dad. What had he done to induce Dennis to be attracted to people twice his age?
Sure, throughout Dennis's childhood the income was unstable, and they weren't doing the best financially, and he was working a lot more than he did when his older kids were little, but he still made time for his youngest. But was that enough to permanently create distance between them?
Outside of the whole gay thing Dennis was very open with the family, including him, and he seemed happy enough at home. Sure he moved much farther away than his brothers, but that's because he had big ambition that he could only follow in a big city, it wasn't anything to do with him, right?
What's worse is that his wife and other kids are acting kike he's insane for being consurened that they are taking advantage of dennis.
thinking about EMT dennis…again. EMT dennis getting hurt and rabbot freaking out…EMT dennis being cute….
“MVC coming in! two drivers and a passenger. engine combusted on-scene so be prepared for burns,” dana hollered out to robby and jack who were lingering together by the nursing station.
jack asked, “how many minutes out?”
“it was on the fort pitt bridge, so at least seven,” dana answered.
robby rubbed his hands together. “whitaker’s driving the rig so probably half that.”
the two men exchanged a loaded look. jack shifted side to side. “whitaker’s on?”
“uh-huh,” robby nodded coyly.
“i mean…rough day for motorists.” jack smiled and crossed his arms. “great day to be us!”
so they waited by the automatic glass doors. anticipation was buzzing between them, not because of anxiety over the incoming trauma, but for the prospect of their favorite EMT walking through those doors.
the sirens were getting closer before the ambulance came into the bay. it’s parking job was just a little less elegant than usual. the back doors burst open, whitaker’s partner hopped out first. she spouted off some pretty stable vitals for smoke inhalation while they lowered the gurney off the back. dennis joined them to walk it in. she interrupted her own assessment with, “wait, dennis, are you burnt?”
dennis kept pushing the gurney into the trauma room where mckay and king were waiting. “i’m fine.”
“robby?” jack questioned wearily.
robby looked next to him, focusing on the parts exposed by dennis’s uniform. there were some burns on his forearms where it looked like flames licked him and some spots on his neck where it looked like ash had popped.
they got to the trauma room. “whitaker, don’t you dare help with this transfer,” robby ordered. whitaker helped anyway, much to the dismay of everyone now taking in his raw skin. “god damnit, kid.”
robby went to grab him by the neck until he remembered the burns there. he settled on grabbing the side of whitaker’s collared shirt and dragging him to the nearest empty patient room.
“i’m fine, i’m fine. i’ll put cream on it on the way back to dispatch!” dennis insisted.
robby shook his head, directing whitaker to the clean bed. as he put on gloves for an examination, robby told dennis’s partner, “call your supervisor, tell them there was an on the job injury and they have to call in coverage while i get documentation.” she nodded with a funny little smirk on her face before stalking off to get her phone from the rig.
“this is so overkill,” dennis lamented. “they’re partial thickness, need no debriedment, and cover less than five percent of my-shit! warn a guy,” dennis swore as robby poked at him.
robby stepped closer than he had to for a standard exam. “did you reach your hand in a burning car or something?”
“i mean…” whitaker trailed off.
robby rolled his eyes, exasperated with the self-sacrifice. “god, you’re lucky.”
whitaker smirked and looked up at the man towering over him. “just wanted to stop wasting time so i could get over to see my favorite doctor.”
robby sighed, but couldn’t fight the smile. “don’t let jack hear that. he gets possessive.”
“of who?” dennis teased.
fuck, this kid was something else.
so you guys remember that one poisonous flower quiz i made? well i've DONE IT AGAIN! somehow even more doom-and-gloom than last time.
Do you believe the world could be better? Here's my attempt to puzzle out whether you do! (Be warned that most results are pretty "doom and
i'd love it if you took my quiz!!
HEY WHAT THE HECK CANARY. CANARY WHAT THE HECK. YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME.
however this was a very sweet and very well-made quiz!!!! tagging: @peskybirdonyx @strawbxrrypies @aries0nmars @its-that-gay-fox @all-hail-blood-sheep @deltenner @genderless-spiderlily
okay. sure thats nice-
@peskybirdonyx @cee-watches @strawbxrrypies @starryshroomx @pisceswaves @iicor @maedaeeee @tabbykai + open tags <3
uhhhhhhh thanks hahahaha *cries in corner*
thank you.
open tags! (who i'm tagging below the cut) :) /nf
Oof XD
Navy seal in action
