āTo a book lover, a bookshop is not a place in the world, but a world in itself.ā
āFound in a Bookshop by Stephanie Butland
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sade Olutola

ellievsbear
Not today Justin

Andulka
šŖ¼

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Product Placement
d e v o n
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
wallacepolsom

Kaledo Art

Origami Around
dirt enthusiast
KIROKAZE

titsay
ojovivo
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@ss0j
āTo a book lover, a bookshop is not a place in the world, but a world in itself.ā
āFound in a Bookshop by Stephanie Butland
This song is stuck in my head. All versions of it!
I miss being around New York this time of the year. Thereās nothing like Christmas time in NYC- the lights and decorations everywhere, holiday markets at Columbus Circle, window shopping at fifth ave, watching the skaters at the Central Park ice rink, sipping hot cocoa/apple cider (depends on the dayās whim), fighting off the crowd in puffy jackets, scarves nā beanies and just staring at the tree at Rockefeller! Thereās so much you can do at NYC every year and make it your own special holiday tradition!Ā
Life has a really funny way of giving you everything you wanted and more when you least expect it. Our story is a testament to that statement!
Today marks a month since we said āI doā. Although we had made the thoughtful decision to be partners in life many years ago, the day that we finally made it official will always have a special place in my heart. Itās hard to single out a day or moment in our life that marked the beginning of our relationship, it could have been an epiphanic knock on the head or a collective set of unassuming moments that lead to it, it doesnāt matter anymore! What matters most is that after a rollercoaster of smiles, tears, nearly a decade and an adorable puppy together, I get to call this person mine forever! And thatās a pretty good way to feel.
So, to my best friend, partner, punching bag, lifelong roadside-assistance, HUSBAND -
Cheers to the first of many months, years and decades to come, full with little fights and a lotta laughs, spending hours side by side silently on the phone, and falling in love with each a little bit more every day!
āMy life is a struggle between my need for acceptance, my fear of rejection, and a desire to not care at all.ā
ā Unkown
This song hits a little differently, because it used to be me- I have loved not knowing if it was reciprocated. Itās a wonderful feeling knowing that I was! And how!
Loving you is a losing game!
We think the butterflies die after a while, when mind, body and soul change. We think as we mature up or mellow down, the butterflies get euthanized. Itās not true.
Its easy to get into a groove and forget the first days, when a single touch could wake up a volcano and a sideways glance was all it took for our hearts to go bonkers.
But itās still there, the butterflies live on, dormant and it really wonāt take much to wake them up!
Hello, hello, anybody out there?!
Imagine its a cloudy evening at a secluded beach. You had come alone for some soul searching knowing full well that the impending drizzle forecast would keep most of the crowd away. You were just about to head back when suddenly the sky turned murky grey and it starts pouring down. Rolling your eyes at the reliability of the forecast, you shield your head as you spot this house as a viable shelter. You have no choice but to run into this lone house and try to dry yourself on this leaky verandah waiting out the nasty rain. The winds are getting stronger and the rain doesnāt look any close to quitting. You watch in awe as the lightning strikes the sand and the waves rushing in harder. The night is looming in too quickly and thereās no light anywhere near. You curse yourself now for taking those two thousand selfies which killed your phone battery. As the last flicker in the sky dimmed out, you start to shiver because of course you didnāt bring anything but a beach towel and a book. It must be the cold, or maybe dread that ran through your spine when you realize things are looking eerily similar to the starting of a horror/slasher movie. You see no way to head home in this vengeful weather and so you decide to man up and seek shelter inside the house. You try the rusty handle and find it stuck, but a short hard push opens the mossy old door with a loud groan. You gingerly step foot inside and hear the floorboard creak, but you power on, one step at a time, squinting and searching for a light. You just about find a switch on the wall, when the screeching wind shut the front door with bang. You jump with a yelp, cursing, and trying to soothe your heart thatās thumping way too hard in your chest. And thatās when you hear it- a laugh, was it a chuckle or a giggle? It doesnāt matter because it didnāt come from you, which meant thereās someone else in here, someone watching you, in the dark. Your gut tells you to run, but your legs have turned into jelly and your voice is lost somewhere in your stomach. You hear distant footsteps and before you can react, a candle lights in front of your face.
I donāt remember exactly when my life got so chaotic, or even a single day in the recent past when I woke up without wishing I didnāt have to. For a very long time, I have been feeling that I havenāt been living a full life. My adolescence was overshadowed by my domineering mother. My young adult life was mostly about covering up one lie with another so that my mom wouldnāt find out that I was āhaving funā. My adult life came without warning, when I was thrust overnight into responsibilities that I hadnāt anticipated even in my nightmares.Ā
I havenāt travelled, I havenāt explored myself, I havenāt truly lived in most of my life. I was constantly defined as something else and I have gone along with it for a long time, not wanting to deal with more drama, cause Lord knows I have had all the drama in my life. I still do. I know I have been tweaking myself to align with the personality of others to make myself more likeable, to prove to myself that I was not a completely horrible person, with my white lies and cold choices. Donāt misunderstand my train of thought here- Iām not saying Iām a bitter olā hateful person. I have loved, I still love and trust with my heart on my sleeve; but I also calculate. Iām hardly unconditional, I keep mental score and even though the the number of strikes required to cut someone out might vary from person to person, its still there. Iām still that person.
Maybe one thing I can say I like about my personality is that I donāt hate people anymore. I may have thought and said I do when I were younger but that holds no traction now. Now I know, I donāt hate anything. I simply donāt care for it- and that includes people just as much as things. I know how to make someone irrelevant to me- it takes a lot of heartbreak, and that kind of pain knows not to go back. I wouldnāt say I have trust issues, I have no problem making a new friend or falling in love; I just canāt go back to the place where I have felt pain before. And Iām absolutely okay with that.
Maybe its my perseverance thatās finally paying off, but things are looking up. Puddles are un-muddling and reflections are getting clearer. I can look into the lake and see my smile turn genuine without my eyes shifting. I just want to cross my feet and fingers and stare at myself all day long, because Iām beautiful when Iām me. Pure, unadulterated, unabashed, and I canāt emphasis this enough, real, me.
āWe change bit by bit, day by day, habit by habit. We are continually undergoing microevolutions of the self. Each habit is like a suggestion: āHey, maybe this is who I am.ā If you finish a book, then perhaps you are the type of person who likes reading. If you go to the gym, then perhaps you are the type of person who likes to exercise. If you practice playing the guitar, perhaps you are the type of person who likes music. Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.ā
ā James Clear, Atomic Habits
Your big dream is crashing down and out your door Wake up and dream once more
- Absolutes, Barcelona
Absolute favorite. Any time of any day.
The light is still alive, bright and burning.Ā
Expelling darkness within, lingering and blurring.Ā
On nights long or short, through bouts of snow or rain,Ā
Thereās still light alive, in love and in pain!
Iām still bitter about how Game of Thrones ended, but its theme is all kinds of love. The forever kind. The kind Iām sure I will listen to when Iām old and wrinkly.
I just stumbled upon this Cello cover version and Iām falling in love all over again. (Though not enough to watch the show again, that ship has sunk deeper than the Titanic.)