dead’s not my color

Fanfic/Fandom/Writing blog that used to be a side blog of the same name. My most recent work is definitely 18+ I actively write for The Mediator (Meg Cabot) but have written (by which I mean abandoned) things for YuYu Hakusho (and ages ago DBZ). Find me on AO3 and Fanfic.net

[ss10009]

Mediator Fic Masterlist

I'm just a girl who's way too dedicated to Jesse/Suze. My fics for Meg Cabot's The Mediator series:

One Shots

Fathers

Rating: G Jesse/Suze. Mildly angsty, second person, Jesse-centric one-shot where I give him daddy issues Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35899405

Multi-Chapter Fics

Hush

Rating: T Jesse/Suze. Post-Remembrance multi-chapter case fic. Suze's work at the newly opened Carmel Pediatric Center leads her and Jesse to their toughest challenge yet. (Note: I'm working on a heavily updated version of this to post to AO3) Read on Fanfic.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11807980/1/Hush

Rapport

Rating: T (but honestly could probably be G) Jesse/Suze. Post-Twilight multi-chapter case fic featuring a dead Kelly Prescott and a Paul Slater who's exploring what it's like to not be a total dick all the time. This fic is technically abandoned. (The completed story exists on my hard drive but didn't get posted because I wound up reworking the main plot points into Hush.) Read on Fanfic.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11767186/1/Rapport

A Deal With the Devil

Rating: E (EXTREMELY E) One-sided Paul/Suze. Jesse/Suze. Diverges towards the end of Remembrance. Dark fic rife with non/dub con that starts by asking the question "what if Suze couldn't play the Uno Reverse card on Paul's blackmail?" And things get so much worse from there. Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89613816

The Miss Simon "Universe"

I posted what I thought was a shamelessly smutty one-shot years back that I wound up making a sequel to. Please don't ask why.

Miss Simon

Rating: E Jesse/Suze. Shameless post-Remembrance teacher roleplay smut. (Shoutout to Miss Boyd.) Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5927656

A Novel Idea

Rating: E Jesse/Suze. More shameless post-Remembrance smut. Suze explores vintage sources to try and figure out more of Jesse's fantasies. Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44853799

Upcoming Fic

Posting this is basically cursing myself to writer's block but here goes nothing.

Exposure

Mini sequel to Hush. Rowdy ghosts try to interrupt Suze's well-earned break. Roughly 70% done. Need to finish the edit for Hush and upload in its entirety to AO3 first though. Rated T or G, probably.

Echo

Larger sequel to Hush/Exposure. Jesse family drama PTSD exploration fun time. Roughly 1% done. Rated T.

Fissure / title tbd

Post-Remembrance. Alternate timelines/alternate universes. Suze and Jesse have to do some dimension hopping to fix A Very Bad Thing that happens in their timeline. The first set of chapters is done! Rated T.

Losing Control / title tbd

Potential sequel for A Novel Idea. Because I'm a bad person. This will probably be finished/uploaded sometime in February 2030. Very E-rated.

[kosmogrl]

[fucking-relax]

this is helpful to getting started on anything regardless of what you call it (from this post)

problem solving steps

IMPROVE distress tolerance skill

[loveridden1999]

atleast we have megan thee stallion. at the end of the day atleast we have her

[ss10009]

Chapter 3: Burning Alive From the Inside Out

Chapter three is out now. Smut-laden excerpt below the cut:

God, it wasn’t that I shouldn’t have been here. I didn’t have a choice to be anywhere else. The problem was that spending my time here was different from enjoying my time here. I didn’t have to do that, so I wouldn’t.

Until Paul’s fingers landed on my clit.

He moved them in unending, deliberate circles that made my toes flex and curl in time with his rhythm.

Jesse had done this to me only a handful of times. Only when we’d both had too much to drink. He would never entertain my arguments for third base otherwise. Afterwards, he would always flagellate himself for impugning upon my honor, and I’d explain that these so-called impunities were my nightly highlight reel, but he’d never listen.

Before that though, when we were both still flushed from wine, he would whisper against my lips while he touched me as gently as his words. I would rock against his fingers until sweat beaded on my forehead and I came undone.

[sexybritishllama]

just finished this month's book club book, went skimming goodreads reviews afterwards as you do, got my breath taken away by this absolutely brutal ending to one of the multi-paragraph 1 star reviews

[sexybritishllama]

for those asking the book was the starving saints by caitlin starling

[noneofthisisok]

"History's greatest thinkers… with AI"

[zombies-sold-cheap]

edit I made for the real ones

[writingdose]

protect em dashes.

protect “not x, not y, but z” format.

protect short sentence stacking as a stylistic choice.

protect fanfic writers—who are kind enough to share their works with people to read for free—from ai witch hunts, speculations and accusations.

“don’t like don’t read” also applies to any fic that is ai-generated and any fic you think is ai-generated by the way. if you don’t like what you’re reading for any reason, you can always stop reading and exit the fic at any point. but harassment is never ever justified. no matter if you think you’ve found a noble excuse to do it. and also…

witch hunts, speculations and accusations harm the writing community as much as ai does. if not more. I don’t want to see another innocent writer get driven away from the community because someone decides to harass and accuse them for using ai just because their fic happens to have “ai telltales” — the same telltales ai got from having been trained on millions of human-made works to mimic how real humans actually write.

[ss10009]

Chapter 2: Whatever You Do, Don't Look

Chapter two is up now. Excerpt below the cut.

One second Paul was still in the shower and the next he was standing in the threshold between the bathroom and the bedroom.

His torso was bare and glistened with water droplets that dripped in slow beads from the ends of his dark, curly hair. I hadn’t been wrong earlier about the time he must’ve spent at the gym. The muscles of his upper body, from his abs to his chest and his biceps, were taut. I followed a water bead as it rolled down the planes of his body, into the V below his abdomen, and disappeared.

Schoolmarm wasn’t sexless enough. I should’ve worn a parka over a onesie. The room was too small for the number of layers Paul wasn’t wearing.

“Like what you see?” he asked.

I bit back the reply I wanted to make (“I see better every day”). I needed him docile, unaware, and uninterested in fighting me or sleep.

I patted the bed beside me.

“Come here. And keep your towel on.”

[anxietyproblem]

[phantomsofyourformerself]

girl who finally is going back to reading by finishing one book: now i'm going to read all the books in the world.

[floofysmallbob]

actually liking your friends is so embarrassing but so necessary. like im really over here smiling and laughing at texts. on a discord call while we sit in silence doing our own things. talking for literal hours and not even realizing. platonically head-over-heels.

[ryngtail]

doodle to keep me sane while im bogged down in concrunch.. LINA INVERSE I LOVE YOOOUUU..

[ss10009]

Things don’t go so well for Suze that night at Mariner’s. And then they get worse. Way worse. Post-Remembrance.

Dragging out the husk of the dead Mediator fandom just to post dark fic should probably be illegal, but here I am doing it anyway.

Remembrance-era blackmail fic. One-sided Paul/Suze and (mutual, of course) Jesse/Suze. Very much rated E. (And very much dark fic/dead dove do not eat.)

This is chapter 1 of a longfic that's ~75% done with planned weekly updates.

[artoatsblog]

[tailybones]

[existennialmemes]

They should invent a kind of burnout, where after you reach your limit of existential exhaustion for the third time, your health bar doubles and you transform into a bigger, stronger iteration of yourself. Like you're a nintendo boss in the final boss battle.