The SSB Affair Weekly

Want all the hot takes on the hottest couples of SSB? Well then this is the blog for you so stay tuned for drama!! ((This is an XOXO droplets fanblog.))

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Everett may be slutty but apparently Ben is sluttier. We see you Kierce.

The SSB Tumblr group has been rocked by the rock hard abs of Ben Rodriguez, a rather short, yet remarkable, member of the soccer team.

Kierce, we already know you have questionable tastes in life partners but this is something else.

"Disgusted. Revolted. I don't want to ever see Kierce's face again. I hate him and I hate his boyfriend." - My beloved, Francis Wolfe.

This is Lysander Beaton reporting and thank you Ben for the unsolicited eye candy.

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Shiloh Calls Bae Daddy and Everett Attempts To Court Ms. Fields!?

The halls have been aflutter from the recent social media updates from our delightful lords and ladies of chaos!

Shiloh Fields, unsurprisingly, said publicly that he platonically calls his karaoke partner, Bae Pyoun, 'daddy'. It is unsure if this is a lie or truth but either way the boyfriend, Jeremy King, couldn't care either way.

"I don't care." - Jeremy King, 2022.

However, this confession is vastly overshadowed by the recent attempts of Everett Gray to get married once again.

After a failed marriage with Carol Anderson, a locally respected girlboss, Everett seems to have set his sights on older women.

He allegedly was reported at the house of Ms. Fields' house in a rather slutty get up that was described by Shiloh as, "thrift shop colorblind grandma."

However, there is no evidence that has surfaced yet and the drip remains unchecked for now.

All of us watch with baited breath, asking ourselves one question. Will Everett fulfill is goal and woo Ms. Fields? Will Shiloh have to call Everett daddy instead? Will Nurse Lynn put a stop to it by finally making Ms. Fields, a taken woman?

We don't know what will happen but we know it will be entertaining.

This has been Lysander Beaton reporting and this is SSB Affairs Weekly.

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Turnips before bros: Vegetable is destroying relationships.

Recently Everett Gray, local pretty boy, and Kam Sung, the guy who works at the arcade, have been arguing over whether or not turnips are real and while they might not be real the friendships they are destroying are.

In a recent clash of opinions Kam denied ever knowing Adrian Wulu, a gem of a man, and people are furious.

"Adrian was trying to be a good friend and Kam shut him out. That's just low." - Anon.

That's all the info we have on the situation for now but we'll try to keep you updated.

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Staff Update

Hello, my name is Candice Lopez, head of the SSB Affairs Weekly. I'm the person who actually runs the blog and edits the articles written by our reporters.

Kierce Sherman, our former head reporter, has in fact been demoted for misconduct and hasn't written an article since the "Everett Marriage Experience" article last month.

We are sorry for the inconvenience.

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The Bachelor’s Dramatic End!

After winning by a shocking landslide W Anon was revealed to be none other than Everett's previous wife, Carol Anderson!

Is he going to marry her again or not? Who knows!! He might just chicken out or marry Anon #101 instead.

I personally hope he chickens out, do you?

Well there really isn't much more to say about this event so have a wonderful Valentine's day and see you all at the dance tonight!

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It’s that time of the year again <3

Valentine's day is just around the corner yet again and it looks like we have a lot to look forward to. 

The first thing to look forward to is the end to Everett Gray’s search for love, the Bachelor. It’s no news to us that there is a heated competition between the queen, W Anon, and the extremely wholesome, Anon #101. While we all have a good idea of their identities we will continue to wait in anticipation for the unveiling of Everett’s new spouse. 

Another mystery that has us all on edge is Shiloh’s “super secret” plan. He posted earlier this week that he needed Kierce Sherman, a person, to help him with a project that included a trip to a jewelry store and even paid him a 100 dollars. When asked about it Shiloh just shrugged it off and said that he wanted to update his wardrobe but is it really all there is to it? 

Also don’t forget that the Valentine’s Day dance is sneaking up on us. Tickets are selling fast and that girl or boy you might have your eye on might be snatched any minute so hurry up and buy your tickets for the price of $2.85. Prices will keep rising the closer we get to Valentines so be sure to buy them today!

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It's finally happening

Everett and Carol are finally getting a divorce. No one really knows why but the couple decided to breach their two year contract.

No one is surprised that they didn't last more then a year but it still is surprising that they lasted as long as they did.

We asked a few people about what they thought about this and got quite a few comments.

"You got to admit, Carol is a strong woman to put up with such a jerk. He totally doesn't deserve her." - Carl.

"Everett's getting a divorce!? Finally!!" -Unnamed fangirl.

"The halls will be peaceful again." - English teacher.

There are quite a lot of people who are supporting their decision to spilt, but there are also people like Shiloh Fields, a self-proclaimed friend of the couple, that are sad to see this happen.

We will try to keep you all updated if anything changes but it really does seem like it is the end for the Gray-Andersons.

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In Regards to Everett and Shiloh

“I will be honest and say that frankly the likelihood of Shiloh and Everett being in a relationship is zero to nothing.” - Random student.

I would agree with this quote wholeheartedly. While Shiloh might be a liar he has made is abundant clear that the only person on his mind is Jeremy. Though he hints at wanting to become close friends with Everett Gray there is nothing that points to there being any romantic intention.

Everett is a kind person deep, deep, really deep down and we shouldn’t try to find any hidden meanings behind his sudden acts of kindness. It is best to just assume, “He must’ve been tired of being a jerk for a second there and wanted to try something new,” and walk away. Besides Everett x Carol is the otp here so stop paying our reporters to try and mess up beautiful relationships.

Thank you for reading! That’s all for now!

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A Shocking Surprise From The Art Club!!

The art club released their latest animation project just this morning and revealed it to be none other then an anime based on certain people in our beloved high school!

The story is about a guy named Advert Greg, a young and beautiful man who had just arrived at a prestigious boarding school.

He bumps into many unique individuals who all fall in love with him at first sight.

There is the charming Cara Handerson, the headstrong main love interests.

And who can forget the beautiful prince, Babe Crouton? I certainly can't. Can you?

Oh! And there is the man who stays on top of everyone and makes sure everyone is safe and taken care of, Gnat Law's son and the eternally lost, Adri Lulu.

And, of course, there are the scandalous best friends, Shy lie Grass and Luka Luka Kaiba, who have been together since birth and are absolutely inseparable.

The story is riveting and the characters are exciting!! Anybody who is anybody will have watched all 834 episodes by the end of the week so buy it at the low price of $19.28!! For further details please contact Kierce Sherman and buy your own copy today!

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The Bottom Discourse Continues

They've been fighting in the halls, they've been passing aggressive notes, and they've been yelling on the internet. Yes, you know we are talking about; the star couple of our school, Carol and Everett Gray-Anderson, have been fighting non stop about who is a bottom.

The teachers hate them and the students love them for it.

We don't need to cover this story further because, to be honest, you've all seen and heard what's going on.

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Shiloh Admits His Feelings?

Today, our head reporter, Kierce Sherman, had a short interview with Shiloh and Jeremy about their relationship. While Jeremy was very open and admitted that he would consider himself in a relationship with Shiloh. The man in question was unsurprisingly hesitant to give an answer.

But finally, after quite some time, Shiloh came as clean as he could and stated that Jeremy, does indeed, mean a lot to him and that he hopes that the two of them continue growing closer. 

In the words of Shiloh himself, “Jeremy means a lot to me. I am not the easiest to tolerate so it amazes me that he has tolerated me for so long. It’s hard to describe what’s going on between us but I treasure whatever it is. So yes, there is something here and I hope it grows into something beautiful.”

In response, Jeremy returned the sentiment. It seems like love truly is in the air. We can only hope that Mr. Fields is being truthful and wish these two the best. 

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The Everett Marriage Experience

After getting a brief chance to talk to Miss Carol Anderson, the student that has taken us by surprise by marrying Everett Gray, the infamous “fashionista” of the even more infamous jerk squad, we were able to get the answer all of you were looking for. 

In the words of Carol Anderson herself she rates her experience a 6/10. 

“Could be better or worse. I get a lot of memes at really dumb times but like it’s fine sometimes.” - Carol Anderson.

She has stated that on Valentines Day she will post a full story on Discourse Daily so please keep your eyes out for that.

That all for now.

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Hello SSB!!

This is your faithful insomniac Kierce Sherman! After much debating with the heads of the school we were finally able to start this blog.

I am aware that Discourse Daily is superior in every way but we will strive to bring you all the juicy love drama we can!