❤️️ @ssparkofmadness - Tumblr Blog

I need to cry. It’s built up so much.

My boyfriend saw an old picture of me, and he said “you looked so happy.” I was also way thinner. But I was on the bad drugs in that picture, and my parents were divorced yet, and I didn’t go through what I went through yet.

He wonders why I’m not truly happy right now. Because I have my family, and people who love me, a job for now.

But I don’t know. My head won’t allow it. And I tell him it’s not his fault.

But this is exhausting. What if I ruin it and he finds someone else that is much happier than I am? I feel like such a burden right now. I’ve never loved anyone the way I do him. And I probably will never again. He’s my one.

But I feel like I’m ruining it.

#anxi4ty #anxiety #depression #im a burden #advice

springsprites

oh my god, hello how are you welcome to my aquarium

housesoftheholymp3-deactivated2

how did we live before the 🥺 emoji. like how the fuck did we communicate

artofthecatt

oh snap

moaccyrk

REBLOG.

FOREVER.

thepanthercave

This is an actual Therapist Recommended method for dealing with a runaway “inner critic” and this comic is perfect ❤️

This is the only place I can vent.

1. Because no one knows I use this account.

2. No one ever sees my posts.

I feel myself breaking again. I’m paranoid, over eating, hating myself, can’t sleep. I’ve been having to take my anxiety meds in order to sleep. I’m currently waiting for them to kick in. I have processed my friends deaths from last year. 5 of them, that I can think of right now. But I can’t think right now. My head is so loud. But my eyes are finally getting heavy. I need to write more but right now I will just avoid the pain a drug myself to sleep.

Goodnight, no one.

ruinedchildhood

valtsv

this gif looks exactly how it feels when you’re wine drunk and trying to hide it

logarto

rudy time

panwithafrogman

I wish it was rudy time all the time

fartfartlbalahaahahahaahaha

memeuplift

horrorgifs

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) dir. James Signorelli

eliminated

clothing-references

This isn’t related to my blog aesthetic but I’m tired of seeing posts where people are making others paranoid that they’re in a coma or something. You’re not. I know lots of us know it’s just a bad “joke,” but some people don’t have the luxury of being able to believe that after seeing others tell them otherwise.

You’re awake. Everything is okay.

clothing-references

Hey so I’ve been dealing with some horrible cases of dissociation recently. It makes me think things that don’t make sense. I wanted to bring this post back and add onto it.

Your life is real.

You are awake.

You aren’t lying on the ground or anything. No one is desperately trying to wake you.

I am one person living in Houston who made this post. I am a living, conscious breathing person and if I made this post and it reaches you, that means you are, too. You didn’t imagine this post up. I made it two years ago.

You aren’t dead. You aren’t seeing things. That light headed feeling is just a symptom. This isn’t a dream and you are going to be okay. I believe in you and I hope you get through this.